Attachment Parenting Has Been On My Mind

[SignMeUp]

I am sure you do well with your kiddos, both dck and your own. I like to think the kids who come through here are better for being here. But it isn't your style or mine that makes them so. It is the fact that we care, pay attention, understand and respond to their cues and use that stepping stone to guide them into their best selves. That is what benefits your kids and mine.

[nannyde]

:: Definitely. Good trade for sqoozed.

I have been paid in full. .

[nannyde]

Attachment Parenting: How Today's Parents Are Messing Up Their Kids

http://www.refugees.bratfree.com/read.php?2,152157Although

I hadn't realized it was "Attachment Parenting" at the time, my ex SIL and Bil, who had five kids, practiced this bull****. It was a*complete*pain in the ass to be around them because of it and all of the ****ing nonsense like asking a toddler's permission to put his ass in a car seat, "Gabriel, is it*okay*if daddy straps you in now?", or allowing a 5 y/o to make his own lunch choices while AT a busy lunch counter line and everyone is WAITING while*this*crap goes on: "Zachariah, do you want the chicken nuggets like at McDonalds, the little hot dogs on a stick like at the fair, the baby hamburgers like at Krystal, or the ham sandwich with the crust cut off like at Gram Gram's?. Do you want pink milk, Juicy-Juice with a straw, a bottle of water, or do you just want to drink some of mommy's lemonade from your cup? Do you want the curly wurly fries, the little tater wedges, or the big boy baked potato like daddy gets?", FFS JUST*ORDER*ALREADY AND MOVE THE******OUT THE WAY!

They of course do this **** in a sing-sing voice and scan the audience for nods of approval too which is HIGHLY obvious and annoying as well. Then they'd do that thing with the baby wearing, asking the kids' opinions on everything from what they ate or watched on TV, "Okay guys! It's Rachel's turn to pick where we go eat tonight!", or "Joseph, you and Rebeccah decide on either the Disney channel or the Cartoon network, but remember, it's*only*fair that daddy get to watch the ballgame at 8PM, so pick something that's over by then, okay? Is that okay? You agree that's fair, don't you?" FFS, dump them in a back bedroom where there's a small TV with kiddie videos and be DONE with it!*

In addition to all of that, they'd do all of it loud enough and in that ANNOYING voice they get so that*everyone*could see what great parents they were. She is a Captain in the Air Force and he had a masters degree in computer science, but was a stay at home dad and NEVER worked another day after the first loaf and he home schooled too. Those kids ALL have something wrong with them too including behavioral disorders, anorexia, anxiety and phobias, and one of those kids STILL hadn't uttered an audible word by the time he was in kindergarten and I have no idea what his diagnosis was or why he would only whisper to one of his parents when asked a question by someone else and*they*basically spoke for him.*

My up close look at Attachment Parenting caused me to believe it was a crock of **** and an irresponsible parenting "method"

[SignMeUp]

Attachment Parenting: How Today's Parents Are Messing Up Their Kids

http://www.refugees.bratfree.com/read.php?2,152157Although

I hadn't realized it was "Attachment Parenting" at the time, my ex SIL and Bil, who had five kids, practiced this bull****. It was a*complete*pain in the ass to be around them because of it and all of the ****ing nonsense like asking a toddler's permission to put his ass in a car seat, "Gabriel, is it*okay*if daddy straps you in now?", or allowing a 5 y/o to make his own lunch choices while AT a busy lunch counter line and everyone is WAITING while*this*crap goes on: "Zachariah, do you want the chicken nuggets like at McDonalds, the little hot dogs on a stick like at the fair, the baby hamburgers like at Krystal, or the ham sandwich with the crust cut off like at Gram Gram's?. Do you want pink milk, Juicy-Juice with a straw, a bottle of water, or do you just want to drink some of mommy's lemonade from your cup? Do you want the curly wurly fries, the little tater wedges, or the big boy baked potato like daddy gets?", FFS JUST*ORDER*ALREADY AND MOVE THE******OUT THE WAY!

They of course do this **** in a sing-sing voice and scan the audience for nods of approval too which is HIGHLY obvious and annoying as well. Then they'd do that thing with the baby wearing, asking the kids' opinions on everything from what they ate or watched on TV, "Okay guys! It's Rachel's turn to pick where we go eat tonight!", or "Joseph, you and Rebeccah decide on either the Disney channel or the Cartoon network, but remember, it's*only*fair that daddy get to watch the ballgame at 8PM, so pick something that's over by then, okay? Is that okay? You agree that's fair, don't you?" FFS, dump them in a back bedroom where there's a small TV with kiddie videos and be DONE with it!*

In addition to all of that, they'd do all of it loud enough and in that ANNOYING voice they get so that*everyone*could see what great parents they were. She is a Captain in the Air Force and he had a masters degree in computer science, but was a stay at home dad and NEVER worked another day after the first loaf and he home schooled too. Those kids ALL have something wrong with them too including behavioral disorders, anorexia, anxiety and phobias, and one of those kids STILL hadn't uttered an audible word by the time he was in kindergarten and I have no idea what his diagnosis was or why he would only whisper to one of his parents when asked a question by someone else and*they*basically spoke for him.*

My up close look at Attachment Parenting caused me to believe it was a crock of **** and an irresponsible parenting "method"

OHHH!!! AP!!!! ATTENTION-PARENTING ::::::::::::

[nannyde]

OHHH!!! AP!!!! ATTENTION-PARENTING ::::::::::::

You know that has been weighing on the mind too but I won't start a thread about it. I think this one has been enough torture for a good year on daycare.com

Heading back to where I belong.... thread starting has never been my strong suit.

[nannyde]

Never worked a day after the first loaf.

[SignMeUp]

You know that has been weighing on the mind too but I won't start a thread about it. I think this one has been enough torture for a good year on daycare.com

Heading back to where I belong.... thread starting has never been my strong suit.

Oh, it has been a good conversation! It seems like some people are firmly on one side or another, but I guess I am not on either. It isn't that I don't know what I think. Maybe it's that I think some people can do AP (without the attention component!) and some people can't figure out when it is time to move on or modify what they are doing.

[midaycare]

Attachment Parenting: How Today's Parents Are Messing Up Their Kids

http://www.refugees.bratfree.com/read.php?2,152157Although

I hadn't realized it was "Attachment Parenting" at the time, my ex SIL and Bil, who had five kids, practiced this bull****. It was a*complete*pain in the ass to be around them because of it and all of the ****ing nonsense like asking a toddler's permission to put his ass in a car seat, "Gabriel, is it*okay*if daddy straps you in now?", or allowing a 5 y/o to make his own lunch choices while AT a busy lunch counter line and everyone is WAITING while*this*crap goes on: "Zachariah, do you want the chicken nuggets like at McDonalds, the little hot dogs on a stick like at the fair, the baby hamburgers like at Krystal, or the ham sandwich with the crust cut off like at Gram Gram's?. Do you want pink milk, Juicy-Juice with a straw, a bottle of water, or do you just want to drink some of mommy's lemonade from your cup? Do you want the curly wurly fries, the little tater wedges, or the big boy baked potato like daddy gets?", FFS JUST*ORDER*ALREADY AND MOVE THE******OUT THE WAY!

They of course do this **** in a sing-sing voice and scan the audience for nods of approval too which is HIGHLY obvious and annoying as well. Then they'd do that thing with the baby wearing, asking the kids' opinions on everything from what they ate or watched on TV, "Okay guys! It's Rachel's turn to pick where we go eat tonight!", or "Joseph, you and Rebeccah decide on either the Disney channel or the Cartoon network, but remember, it's*only*fair that daddy get to watch the ballgame at 8PM, so pick something that's over by then, okay? Is that okay? You agree that's fair, don't you?" FFS, dump them in a back bedroom where there's a small TV with kiddie videos and be DONE with it!*

In addition to all of that, they'd do all of it loud enough and in that ANNOYING voice they get so that*everyone*could see what great parents they were. She is a Captain in the Air Force and he had a masters degree in computer science, but was a stay at home dad and NEVER worked another day after the first loaf and he home schooled too. Those kids ALL have something wrong with them too including behavioral disorders, anorexia, anxiety and phobias, and one of those kids STILL hadn't uttered an audible word by the time he was in kindergarten and I have no idea what his diagnosis was or why he would only whisper to one of his parents when asked a question by someone else and*they*basically spoke for him.*

My up close look at Attachment Parenting caused me to believe it was a crock of **** and an irresponsible parenting "method"

Oh dear. That's not parenting. That's ... That's ... :confused:

[NightOwl]

It's been an excellent debate without anyone getting their feathers fluffed! Don't stop thread-starting!

[sugar buzz]

Ok, I will admit I have seen some of this. I don't think we can blame any particular parenting style here, but there is definitely a group of these.

I haven't read all the responses, but I wonder if some of this stems from the first generation of entitled kids who have not had to do anything for themselves, now beginning to raise children, and have no clue how to do so. Are we entering the first generation of children who were raised in a daycare setting and they are assuming daycare (and later school) will handle all the tough stuff, leaving only the overnight storage of the child to the parent?

I also wonder if we have entered a stage where ALL discipline is considered "bad" and parents who don't really understand what that word means.

AMEN, sister!!!!!!! THIS has been my daycare experience. Whatever parenting style you choose is a skill. Getting better at a skill takes practice...lots and lots of practice.

[midaycare]

Ok, I will admit I have seen some of this. I don't think we can blame any particular parenting style here, but there is definitely a group of these.

I haven't read all the responses, but I wonder if some of this stems from the first generation of entitled kids who have not had to do anything for themselves, now beginning to raise children, and have no clue how to do so. Are we entering the first generation of children who were raised in a daycare setting and they are assuming daycare (and later school) will handle all the tough stuff, leaving only the overnight storage of the child to the parent?

I also wonder if we have entered a stage where ALL discipline is considered "bad" and parents who don't really understand what that word means.

Oh yes, do I ever believe this. I see entitled 20-somethings everywhere, and now they are having babies.

I see a fair amount of "kids" today who don't understand working hard, the word "no", and think the world owes them something. And now I feel really old because I'm in my mid-thirties.

[midaycare]

It's been an excellent debate without anyone getting their feathers fluffed! Don't stop thread-starting!

This has been a great and informative post! I agree!

[Indoorvoice]

Attachment Parenting: How Today's Parents Are Messing Up Their Kids

http://www.refugees.bratfree.com/read.php?2,152157Although

I hadn't realized it was "Attachment Parenting" at the time, my ex SIL and Bil, who had five kids, practiced this bull****. It was a*complete*pain in the ass to be around them because of it and all of the ****ing nonsense like asking a toddler's permission to put his ass in a car seat, "Gabriel, is it*okay*if daddy straps you in now?", or allowing a 5 y/o to make his own lunch choices while AT a busy lunch counter line and everyone is WAITING while*this*crap goes on: "Zachariah, do you want the chicken nuggets like at McDonalds, the little hot dogs on a stick like at the fair, the baby hamburgers like at Krystal, or the ham sandwich with the crust cut off like at Gram Gram's?. Do you want pink milk, Juicy-Juice with a straw, a bottle of water, or do you just want to drink some of mommy's lemonade from your cup? Do you want the curly wurly fries, the little tater wedges, or the big boy baked potato like daddy gets?", FFS JUST*ORDER*ALREADY AND MOVE THE******OUT THE WAY!

They of course do this **** in a sing-sing voice and scan the audience for nods of approval too which is HIGHLY obvious and annoying as well. Then they'd do that thing with the baby wearing, asking the kids' opinions on everything from what they ate or watched on TV, "Okay guys! It's Rachel's turn to pick where we go eat tonight!", or "Joseph, you and Rebeccah decide on either the Disney channel or the Cartoon network, but remember, it's*only*fair that daddy get to watch the ballgame at 8PM, so pick something that's over by then, okay? Is that okay? You agree that's fair, don't you?" FFS, dump them in a back bedroom where there's a small TV with kiddie videos and be DONE with it!*

In addition to all of that, they'd do all of it loud enough and in that ANNOYING voice they get so that*everyone*could see what great parents they were. She is a Captain in the Air Force and he had a masters degree in computer science, but was a stay at home dad and NEVER worked another day after the first loaf and he home schooled too. Those kids ALL have something wrong with them too including behavioral disorders, anorexia, anxiety and phobias, and one of those kids STILL hadn't uttered an audible word by the time he was in kindergarten and I have no idea what his diagnosis was or why he would only whisper to one of his parents when asked a question by someone else and*they*basically spoke for him.*

My up close look at Attachment Parenting caused me to believe it was a crock of **** and an irresponsible parenting "method"

Ok but in that example, those parents are not practicing attachment parenting. That is just passive parenting. Passive parenting does not equal attachment parenting and I think from the many examples you have provided, you are confusing the two. Here are the very basics of attachment parenting: http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/par...t-ap-7-baby-bs

I don't see anywhere in there that says attachment parenting means to ask your child for permission to do things or that you have to let your child control the parent's decisions as your example describes. This is another case of people who say they are attachment parenting just to use the buzzword without any actual knowledge of the practice.

[Indoorvoice]

Also this link explains what AP is not : http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/par...ng/what-ap-not

[nannyde]

Also this link explains what AP is not : http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/par...ng/what-ap-not

I have a BIG problem with the sixth B. You should never advise a parent to dismiss other sleep training methods. To me, if you are going to do bullet points you shouldn't include "don't buy other people's stuff" It decreases their credibility.

If there is a method that takes a few days of discomfort but nets a solid deep sleep night after night, month after month, year after year.... you should at least hear them out.