I'm A New DCM - Question For Providers

[nannyde]

Then consider me "burnt out" or "over it" too. I guess that's what you get for telling it like it is.

Pertaining to the money aspect: I do ANY type of job for the MONEY. My family needs money to survive and I am not ashamed to provide for them. I love kids but I am not going to miss payments on my car or house or my sons braces just to care for the two that I have. That's why I'm closing up shop and doing other work for a while. It's for the :GASP: money

Oh Cedar you can do any OTHER job for money... just not child care. Well you can do child care for money as long as it's not the number ONE reason you do child care. It has to be LOVE first.

It's hard to grasp the concept that well paid and fairly compensated for the actual WORK and time will net your kid a heck of a lot more love.

[Laurel]

I moved from a low-middle income area to an upper middle class area. It was good financially, but terrible from the type of parents I get. I deal with parent issues on an almost DAILY basis.

Today a dck came in with a half eaten candy bar Mom 'couldn't get away from him' and one came with pjs because she 'wouldn't get dressed' and one was a dope and drop! Seriously!

Some of that kind of stuff I just roll with. I guess it is just my laid back personality. I try not to sweat the small stuff. If something happens over and over, I'll address it but if occasionally someone isn't dressed (my grandson came like that one day) I just let them in and dress them myself. To me it is better than me feeling upset.

It doesn't mean I'll let it go on and on but here and there I just do what needs to be done. I remember my single mom daughter almost in tears that day that he wouldn't get dressed. He was being a real little butt. I am fine to help out if mom or dad is having a rough morning. We all have one from time to time.

Maybe it is because I was a stay at home mom and didn't watch children back then. I can't even imagine what a parent today has to go through working full time outside the home. I personally feel for parents today. I chose to live without all the gadgets and stay home but I'm not sure one income is even feasible these days even without the gadgets....dunno. It's a whole new world. Okay, I'll shut up now. ::

Laurel

[CedarCreek]

Oh Cedar you can do any OTHER job for money... just not child care. Well you can do child care for money as long as it's not the number ONE reason you do child care. It has to be LOVE first.

It's hard to grasp the concept that well paid and fairly compensated for the actual WORK and time will net your kid a heck of a lot more love.

How silly of me! ::

Well, I do love my two dcks so I guess I'm going to go get some pliers and when ds gets home from school, we can pop his braces off and that'll save me some bucks and I will stay open!!

[Soccermom]

Honestly, if I enjoyed your company and you were willing to help out with the other kids while you were here then I would say - Sure, pick me up a coffee on the way in BUT if you made me feel uncomfortable and self conscious in any way then I would have to say No. ::

I don't believe it would in any way benefit your baby though. 4 months is so young to be in daycare. At this age, they need routine and their Mommy.
They do eventually adjust to daycare because children are built to adapt but the first few months are sure to be a rocky road no matter what.

If you really need to return to work now, all you can do is find a provider you trust with all your heart and give her the freedom to become a part of your child's life.

Good luck. I know how hard leaving your baby with someone else can be. That is why I got into childcare in the first place. I couldn't find anyone I trusted with my child...that's when I knew it probably wasn't them - It was me. 10 years later, here I am still doing daycare.

[Laurel]

As far as the money debate, I remember there being a discussion somewhere once about how teachers are not paid like other professionals who have the same amount of schooling. Then someone said "It is because it is mainly a profession of women." They said if more men would get in the field they wouldn't stand for making less money.

Gotta call "Right On!" on that one.

Traditional female jobs are not as highly regarded or rewarded as are traditionally male jobs. Take truck drivers. How much skill does it take to drive a truck (well once you learn how)? It takes much more skill to correctly care for children so why the big pay difference?

Also I think women are conditioned to be somewhat submissive....at least in the past and it is going to take a few generations to get over that completely. I remember my own mom (I am 62) arguing with my dad to GET TO go to work after we were older. She wanted to stay home when we were little but when we got older she got bored and wanted a part time job. It was a major hassle with my traditional dad but she finally got her way. Go mom!

My daughter is in a business that is mostly men with a major company (then Merrill Lynch) and she was STILL getting paid quite a bit less. She had to fight for more money even nowadays. Luckily at her current job she has a woman boss who started her at just what the guys made. She also did a lot of research and had to adjust the way she acted to get ahead in a 'man's world.' She told me a few things that I hadn't even thought of. Like don't do what a man wouldn't do. How many men bring cookies to the office for everyone? Men ask for raises, women tend to take what they are given. Even the body language in meetings.

Yep, we're expected to love children and do it for 'pin money' as far as a lot of clients are concerned. It will change over time but we're not there yet.

Okay, off my soapbox....

Laurel

[Blackcat31]

As far as the money debate, I remember there being a discussion somewhere once about how teachers are not paid like other professionals who have the same amount of schooling. Then someone said "It is because it is mainly a profession of women." They said if more men would get in the field they wouldn't stand for making less money.

Gotta call "Right On!" on that one.

Traditional female jobs are not as highly regarded or rewarded as are traditionally male jobs. Take truck drivers. How much skill does it take to drive a truck (well once you learn how)? It takes much more skill to correctly care for children so why the big pay difference?

Also I think women are conditioned to be somewhat submissive....at least in the past and it is going to take a few generations to get over that completely. I remember my own mom (I am 62) arguing with my dad to GET TO go to work after we were older. She wanted to stay home when we were little but when we got older she got bored and wanted a part time job. It was a major hassle with my traditional dad but she finally got her way. Go mom!

My daughter is in a business that is mostly men with a major company (then Merrill Lynch) and she was STILL getting paid quite a bit less. She had to fight for more money even nowadays. Luckily at her current job she has a woman boss who started her at just what the guys made. She also did a lot of research and had to adjust the way she acted to get ahead in a 'man's world.' She told me a few things that I hadn't even thought of. Like don't do what a man wouldn't do. How many men bring cookies to the office for everyone? Men ask for raises, women tend to take what they are given. Even the body language in meetings.

Yep, we're expected to love children and do it for 'pin money' as far as a lot of clients are concerned. It will change over time but we're not there yet.

Okay, off my soapbox....

Laurel

I think that because women are still regarded as the primary caretakers of the children, they are more of a liability for some companies.

The mom is the one always called to pick up the child, stay home when they are sick and take care of the child's needs sucha s doctor appts, dentists, attending school functions etc thus taking more time off work than men do overall. As a business owner, I can see how frustrating that could potentially be for their bottom line.

Like you said, I do think that is changing but we are a long ways off.

[Heidi]

Honestly, if I enjoyed your company and you were willing to help out with the other kids while you were here then I would say - Sure, pick me up a coffee on the way in BUT if you made me feel uncomfortable and self conscious in any way then I would have to say No. ::

I don't believe it would in any way benefit your baby though. 4 months is so young to be in daycare. At this age, they need routine and their Mommy.
They do eventually adjust to daycare because children are built to adapt but the first few months are sure to be a rocky road no matter what.

If you really need to return to work now, all you can do is find a provider you trust with all your heart and give her the freedom to become a part of your child's life.

Good luck. I know how hard leaving your baby with someone else can be. That is why I got into childcare in the first place. I couldn't find anyone I trusted with my child...that's when I knew it probably wasn't them - It was me. 10 years later, here I am still doing daycare.

See, now I wouldn't fuel that fire, SM. I've had plenty of babies start at 4 months or earlier with no issues what-so-ever. There doesn't have to be a rocky road at all.

This issue is mom's, not baby's. It's completely understandable...she doesn't want to leave her baby! But, the baby is going to be fine.

[Laurel]

I think that because women are still regarded as the primary caretakers of the children, they are more of a liability for some companies.

The mom is the one always called to pick up the child, stay home when they are sick and take care of the child's needs sucha s doctor appts, dentists, attending school functions etc thus taking more time off work than men do overall. As a business owner, I can see how frustrating that could potentially be for their bottom line.

Like you said, I do think that is changing but we are a long ways off.

That is a good point.

Laurel

[Blackcat31]

See, now I wouldn't fuel that fire, SM. I've had plenty of babies start at 4 months or earlier with no issues what-so-ever. There doesn't have to be a rocky road at all.

This issue is mom's, not baby's. It's completely understandable...she doesn't want to leave her baby! But, the baby is going to be fine.

Soccermom is in Canada. 4 months IS young to be in daycare there.

[nannyde]

See, now I wouldn't fuel that fire, SM. I've had plenty of babies start at 4 months or earlier with no issues what-so-ever. There doesn't have to be a rocky road at all.

This issue is mom's, not baby's. It's completely understandable...she doesn't want to leave her baby! But, the baby is going to be fine.

I've had a lot of babies from six weeks on and they do great. Few weeks to get them on the Nan Plan and then smooth sailing. Four months is such an EASY age and they are so fun. I wouldn't hesitate taking a lil mook at this age.

I like calm stable babies. My goal is to get them to calm and stable. Good eaters... good sleepers... good snugglers... tolerant laid back babies. At four months the toy playing would commence. Cake ;-)

[Cradle2crayons]

Honestly, if I enjoyed your company and you were willing to help out with the other kids while you were here then I would say - Sure, pick me up a coffee on the way in BUT if you made me feel uncomfortable and self conscious in any way then I would have to say No. ::

I don't believe it would in any way benefit your baby though. 4 months is so young to be in daycare. At this age, they need routine and their Mommy.
They do eventually adjust to daycare because children are built to adapt but the first few months are sure to be a rocky road no matter what.

If you really need to return to work now, all you can do is find a provider you trust with all your heart and give her the freedom to become a part of your child's life.

Good luck. I know how hard leaving your baby with someone else can be. That is why I got into childcare in the first place. I couldn't find anyone I trusted with my child...that's when I knew it probably wasn't them - It was me. 10 years later, here I am still doing daycare.

I'm like a few others. I prefer they start at six weeks here. My experience is that the transition is so much easier for baby.

[itlw8]

It is extremely unlikely that a 4 month old would or even could be mad at her mother and ignore her for hours.. Instead she is learning about the world around her. It is a good thing to look at other things. I know it may feel that way but truly she is not avoiding you.

[saved4always]

Whenever women talk about money, especially when it comes to the care of children, there is always the perception that there is some kind of emotional problem. That makes me LAUGH my arse off.

Just because we are talking about the WORK and BUSINESS of taking care of kids it does NOT mean we can't talk about MONEY every step of the way. It's OKAY to talk about MONEY. It's okay to associate the WORK and TIME of this business directly about MONEY. It's done in every single other child related business.

Every single piece of equipment, piece of clothing, bib, pacifier, bottle, sheet, crib, car seat.... every single good that is related to children there are legions of people who talk about MONEY as the product is developed, manufactured, shipped, and sold.

There's nobody at Graco telling them that they shouldn't discuss MONEY because the products they sell are for the BAYYYYBEEES. If Eddie Bauer didn't have MONEY discussions they wouldn't be able to sell car seats.

Why can't we? Why are we the ONE group who can't put MONEY into the conversation as THE topic that must be dealt with FIRST before anything else works? Every other business does that serves kids.

Oh I know... it's because we are a bunch of WOMEN and we should love first then take whatever scraps of money that is sent our way to feed, clothe, and house OUR kids.

I'm not burnt out. I make a GREAT living. I don't allow emotional words like "burnt out" and "it's not about the money" phase me. Just like I said before... we have heard it ALL before. You have the SAME words. You have the SAME inflection. You have the SAME message. You haven't come up with a single phrase or idea that hasn't been jammed down our throats our entire career. We've heard it all and it is just that... WORDS.

When you want to actually TALK money then we can explain money. If you want us to do it for love... well you have to find somebody who is selling something else. I have the pleasure to make money and love. I know better than to get into something where I don't make money to cause me not to love my work. I get paid a fair wage in all my endeavors. My clients are business folks too... they get money. They may not understand day care money when they come to me but they do by the third interview. They want me to be prosperous. They want me to be happy. I'm happy being prosperous even though I'm a mere girl.

Well said. I absolutely love kids (I can't help but make faces and smile at adorable babies in church ) but I would never have watched someone else's for free. Income was always the reason for my in home daycare business. I wouldn't have done it if I did not like children, of course, but I started it to make some money when my daughter was younger.

[saved4always]

That was kind of rude.
It isnt the children that makes this job hard or difficult. It's parents like you that make it so hard. Unrealistic expectations and wanting individualized attention.



Everyone does this for money.. I dont know a single working person that doesnt. If they say they do something just for the love of it with no money involved, they would do it for free.

Loving the job helps but dont assume that is the only reason providers open their homes and hearts to others. It's the money plain and simple.

When there is no money involved it's called a hobby.

Or "volunteering" .

[Leanna]

I can tell you that "burnt out" or "over it" are pretty much the polar opposites of Nan's experience. If you get a chance, look on Daycare.com's main page and read some of her blogs. It's a different perspective than you get from forum answers.

Then consider me "burnt out" or "over it" too. I guess that's what you get for telling it like it is.

Pertaining to the money aspect: I do ANY type of job for the MONEY. My family needs money to survive and I am not ashamed to provide for them. I love kids but I am not going to miss payments on my car or house or my sons braces just to care for the two that I have. That's why I'm closing up shop and doing other work for a while. It's for the :GASP: money

Oh Cedar you can do any OTHER job for money... just not child care. Well you can do child care for money as long as it's not the number ONE reason you do child care. It has to be LOVE first.

It's hard to grasp the concept that well paid and fairly compensated for the actual WORK and time will net your kid a heck of a lot more love.

Funny, it isn't the "say it like it is" style or the declaration that you work for money that gives me the impression that you are "over it." It is the way you talk about children and families. It is the way you dismiss widely held practices in the field of early childhood education.

We all obviously work for the money. There are some professions, however, where it is expected for one to have something "more" in terms of motivation: doctors, teachers, counselors, and, yes, day care providers. This is true whether we like it or not. We work to earn money so we can pay our bills and take care of ourselves and our families, BUT we also provide love (or at least affection, I hope), security, learning, guidance, and much more to precious little ones. If we were ONLY in it for the money, we wouldn't do it (I believe this includes you, too Nan). We could all earn more at Walmart & we wouldn't have to keep our houses spotless to boot. It doesn't have to be love first....but it does have to be love too.

Heidi, I've read all her blogs. More than once. Seen the youtube videos. Read many old threads on this site. To be completely honest, I find Nan to be a highly intriguing individual. For the most part, I vehemently disagree with almost everything she says. I wouldn't enroll my child in her daycare because we would not be a good fit. I find her tone in her writing to be extremely caustic and downright rude and condescending on occasion. Yet, she has been in the business for twice as long as I have with many happy customers. People on this forum who have spoken personally to her glow about how caring and understanding she is. I have seen her give out her personal contact info to struggling providers. In her videos I see how the kids are so obviously comfortable with her. I try really hard to reconcile these two images in my head.