I'm A New DCM - Question For Providers

[My3cents]

So I put a voice recorder in my little one's diaper bag. What I heard was heart breaking. My little one scream for an hour. She was quiet for a few minutes and than started screaming again. The provider did NOTHING to quiet her. NOTHING. She scream to the point of choking. Her voice started shaking. The recording goes off and on like this the whole time she was there. I'm so incredibly angry. The provider never mentioned anything. Said she was doing great.

Anyway, I'm done with daycare. Thank you all for you comments. There's no way I could ever leave her again.

Troll!

Don't waste other peoples time please. I have very little of it, most days. I was hoping that I was helping a new mom out. There are moms out there that have an honest hard time of leaving their child, but if you have to go to that lengths as to be sneaky on your provider that is not ok- Nan called it, your a liability on the providers end of it and I would term you on spot!

Now be off~ I recommend psyche counseling for you and your issues-
not cool-

[craftymissbeth]

So I put a voice recorder in my little one's diaper bag. What I heard was heart breaking. My little one scream for an hour. She was quiet for a few minutes and than started screaming again. The provider did NOTHING to quiet her. NOTHING. She scream to the point of choking. Her voice started shaking. The recording goes off and on like this the whole time she was there. I'm so incredibly angry. The provider never mentioned anything. Said she was doing great.

Anyway, I'm done with daycare. Thank you all for you comments. There's no way I could ever leave her again.

Oh man you were doing so well there trolling us along and then BAM! out of nowhere comes crazyville.

Disregard my comment about the tags on this thread being inappropriate

[nannyde]

So I put a voice recorder in my little one's diaper bag. What I heard was heart breaking. My little one scream for an hour. She was quiet for a few minutes and than started screaming again. The provider did NOTHING to quiet her. NOTHING. She scream to the point of choking. Her voice started shaking. The recording goes off and on like this the whole time she was there. I'm so incredibly angry. The provider never mentioned anything. Said she was doing great.

Anyway, I'm done with daycare. Thank you all for you comments. There's no way I could ever leave her again.

Take her to the ER and have them check her for brain damage. Do it for us. We are dying to know if crying really does cause brain damage!

Keep us posted.

[sleepinghart]

So I put a voice recorder in my little one's diaper bag. What I heard was heart breaking. My little one scream for an hour. She was quiet for a few minutes and than started screaming again. The provider did NOTHING to quiet her. NOTHING. She scream to the point of choking. Her voice started shaking. The recording goes off and on like this the whole time she was there. I'm so incredibly angry. The provider never mentioned anything. Said she was doing great.

Anyway, I'm done with daycare. Thank you all for you comments. There's no way I could ever leave her again.

~Yes, you're either a troll(..had that figured out after you called the most helpful Blandino's comments to you "broken record" & the fact you said you've read a lot here and been a lurker)or someone who already had their mind made up when they came here from the get-go and thought they could get what they wanted which was validation & sympathy and validation & symapathy only(..had that figured out by first post paragraph 1 & all the manipulation, fact-changing & mind games), and when they didn't get it started to get a lil hostile by saying RIDICULOUS things. I had that figured out by--

(Op quote)"I decided not to ask to stay. And today I dropped the "rescuer" mentality. I dropped her off and left. Usually I sit in the car for awhile to see if I can hear her cry. Sometimes I'll drive back by later on to see if I hear her cry. But I've stopped all that. I haven't gotten a text from the provider this afternoon again so I'm sure she's crying but I'm sitting at home. Blah. I started with one foot in the door but now realize that I was just creating more problems. If I'm going to find out if this works I have to back off. I hate that she's going through this but I realized that by rescuing her, hovering, worrying when I leave, that I'm not only creating anxiety in the provider (maybe) but I'm also not showing that much faith in my own daughter. I think my behavior is sending out signals that she's weak and can't cope, and maybe I thought that. She's little, but she's smart.

I love my provider and know she'll do everything she can do make my lg happy. That was never the question. I guess the real doubt was if my daughter could respond to her cues. I think at the heart of all my worry was that I had no faith in my own daughter[/I]"

~Wow, It's a MIRACLE! You've been cured overnighthappyface! NOT! I say you were being facetious and sarcastic. Oooh! ..And BS to boot!

"Ya, that thought never crossed my mind. I was pretty sure the provider needed to be a carbon copy of me!! haha. I'm sure my OH is going to appreciate my new-found perspective, too, since I nag him to no end! " (end quotes)


~Brand new day, same old crap. As Nan said we've seen it all before. Now run along. No hard feelings, I'm just glad I don't have to put up with your problems and being you.

[Unregistered]

Go away, I didn't for a second believed your storie...

[Unregistered]

I think here it is illegal to record without consent in someone else's home. If I found the recorder in the bag, I would have you charged. If you want to record a nanny in your own home I believe that is considered ok. If you felt the need to record, there was no trust and you should have just pulled your child from care.

[BrooklynM]

You sound burnt out I wouldn't work in childcare because it seems really difficult. I quit working in sales because I couldn't stand the people! I understand how exhausting it is and I'm only sorry that people have to worry so much about money that they subject themselves to unwanted situations. I don't mean to gloat but I am so very fortunate in that I do what I love and I don't give a thought to the money. I don't have to work. I only wish I could find a daycare provider who was of that state of mind. My current provider also seems to be in dire need of money which is unfortunate. Yes I know what you're thinking, if they didn't have to worry about money they wouldn't put up with parents like me! I know, I know. I'm sorry your experience has been so unpleasant. But there have been some very nice responses on here from seasoned providers so I have to believe there are still those who love their job and don't necessarily do it just for the money.

I don't think it is a question of burnout, it is setting our personal boundaries so we can continue to love what we do. If I won the lotto tomorrow, I would still have my daycare. Honestly, even if I won 100 million dollars. Now, I would get an assistant so I could go get my nails done once a week and I would hire a housekeeper, but I LOVE what I do. I love the babies I care for and I feel blessed every single day for what I get to do.

However, you have to look at things from our perspective as we need to look at things from your perspective. Sometimes babies cry. It is totally normal. We work to make sure that the baby is dry, fed and loved. Sometimes babies get frustrated and they don't even know why. Change of environment, mood, etc can affect a babies mood. First of all, you need to go with your gut on this provider. Is she the right provider for you? What does your gut tell you?Maybe that it is at the heart of this. Secondly, I agree with the others saying that a Nanny situation may work best for you. My parents love my small atmosphere but the fact that their babies have friends and interacation from other babies. They learn so much from modeling the older children's behavior.

What is most important to you? Prioritize and you will get your answers. My priorities for my own children were to raise them up to be contributors to society in anyway that they choose. Infancy is so short, but your baby is probably getting ready to need some structure, so whether at daycare or at home, it is important to establish some routines so that they know how to behave, they know what is coming next, etc. Start tracking when your baby is sleeping and see if you can set a schedule off of what she is currently doing. Kids love and thrive off of routine. Also, in most states, we are not allowed to have babies sleep in swings, so at home it is important not allow your baby to sleep in the swing. They should only spend a few min in the swing at a time. It can be a great tool for when you need to go to the bathroom or maybe you are making dinner, etc, but she should learn to sleep in a crib.

Establishing routines now is so much easier than trying to break bad habits later!

[Angelsj]

Troll!

Don't waste other peoples time please. I have very little of it, most days. I was hoping that I was helping a new mom out. There are moms out there that have an honest hard time of leaving their child, but if you have to go to that lengths as to be sneaky on your provider that is not ok- Nan called it, your a liability on the providers end of it and I would term you on spot!

Now be off~ I recommend psyche counseling for you and your issues-
not cool-

I would just like to point out, I called this one early on... ::

[Heidi]

Take her to the ER and have them check her for brain damage. Do it for us. We are dying to know if crying really does cause brain damage!

Keep us posted.

The baby...or the "mom"???

::

I'd also like to point out that if crying causes brain damage I'd have a IQ of 7 by now.

[Blackcat31]

There really is no way to prove or disprove this poster is or isn't a troll.

The IP addresses match for ALL unregistered posts that the OP posted.

The IP address is from a southern state.

Personally I think this is just another severe helicopter mom that had NO CLUE what she was doing by enrolling her child in daycare.

I think she failed to do her research, she failed to address her fears and concerns with her provider(s) and she ultimately failed at trying to justify this situation by recording her provider.....without the providers knowledge.

To me this simply reeks of parent that does MORE harm than good when trying to control the situation and the outcome.

If this is truly not a troll, then my only suggestion would be to put your big girl panties on, stop whining about how things aren't exactly how you want/expect them to be and stay home and raise your own child.

STOP expecting anyone else to out up with your convoluted ideas about what should and shouldn't be happening while your child is in daycare. If you truly cannot trust another adult to watch her then again, STAY HOME!

We aren't begging for parents like you...we don't need them and we certainly don't want to spend countless hours trying to placate and help parents like you. Many experienced and caring providers offered you advice and yet you still continued to be overbearing and undeterred in proving that no one will be good enough to watch your child.

Which is probably a good thing because if you are this needy, unstable and conniving while your child is only 4 months old, I'd sure hate to see what your behavior will be like as your child ages.

Wowza.....There are definitely some parents that are simply not cut out to be daycare clients and you are definitely one of them.

Please don't waste any more of our time.

You just ruined your last chance at help, support and assistance from anyone here with that last move you made.

[sleepinghart]

There really is no way to prove or disprove this poster is or isn't a troll.

The IP addresses match for ALL unregistered posts that the OP posted.

The IP address is from a southern state.

Personally I think this is just another severe helicopter mom that had NO CLUE what she was doing by enrolling her child in daycare.

I think she failed to do her research, she failed to address her fears and concerns with her provider(s) and she ultimately failed at trying to justify this situation by recording her provider.....without the providers knowledge.

To me this simply reeks of parent that does MORE harm than good when trying to control the situation and the outcome.

If this is truly not a troll, then my only suggestion would be to put your big girl panties on, stop whining about how things aren't exactly how you want/expect them to be and stay home and raise your own child.

STOP expecting anyone else to out up with your convoluted ideas about what should and shouldn't be happening while your child is in daycare. If you truly cannot trust another adult to watch her then again, STAY HOME!

We aren't begging for parents like you...we don't need them and we certainly don't want to spend countless hours trying to placate and help parents like you. Many experienced and caring providers offered you advice and yet you still continued to be overbearing and undeterred in proving that no one will be good enough to watch your child.

Which is probably a good thing because if you are this needy, unstable and conniving while your child is only 4 months old, I'd sure hate to see what your behavior will be like as your child ages.

Wowza.....There are definitely some parents that are simply not cut out to be daycare clients and you are definitely one of them.

Please don't waste any more of our time.

You just ruined your last chance at help, support and assistance from anyone here with that last move you made.

~...Fair enough, and true enough.


Btw,

(blackcat31 quote) "The IP addresses match for ALL unregistered posts that the OP posted" (end)

~The IP matching doesn't rule out a troll completely though right....Just curious?:confused:


~If not a troll, she should just own it like big boys & girls do -- That's my thing.

[Blackcat31]

~The IP matching doesn't rule out a troll completely though right....Just curious?:confused:

No. I just wanted to note that the poster claiming to be the OP was the same person each time.

Doesn't mean they are a troll however.

Although the possibility is there. I don't know...I just think this is a parent that has NO clue about expectations and child care.