Throwing Toys Over The Gate

[AfterSchoolMom]

I thought about adding this to the "throwing toys" thread, but my situation is a bit different because my 1yo is not throwing toys to break them or throwing that AT anyone, but just randomly throwing them over the baby gates into the gated off areas of the house. At the end of the day, even though the toys start out in the DC area, I end up with toys all over the house anyway!

So far, when I catch him in action, I pick the toy up, hand it back, and move him to another area while saying "No throwing toys". He couldn't care less.

[R&R]

I thought about adding this to the "throwing toys" thread, but my situation is a bit different because my 1yo is not throwing toys to break them or throwing that AT anyone, but just randomly throwing them over the baby gates into the gated off areas of the house. At the end of the day, even though the toys start out in the DC area, I end up with toys all over the house anyway!

So far, when I catch him in action, I pick the toy up, hand it back, and move him to another area while saying "No throwing toys". He couldn't care less.

It's a natural cause and effect stage. How about a large box for him to throw things in?
Pick your battles too. Is it such a big deal if he does that? Couldn't you just lift him over later and have him throw them back?

[jen]

Here is what I have done in the past that seems to work...

Get yourself a big laundry basket, when he throws the toy over the gate, say "no throwing toys" but rather than hand it back, stick it in the laundry basket and place the basket out of reach, but within sight.

Eventually he'll figure out throwing toys means NO toys and he'll stop.

I would say that handing the toys back is a bit of a game for him.

[marniewon]

I thought about adding this to the "throwing toys" thread, but my situation is a bit different because my 1yo is not throwing toys to break them or throwing that AT anyone, but just randomly throwing them over the baby gates into the gated off areas of the house. At the end of the day, even though the toys start out in the DC area, I end up with toys all over the house anyway!

So far, when I catch him in action, I pick the toy up, hand it back, and move him to another area while saying "No throwing toys". He couldn't care less.

He's playing the age old baby game of "drop the toy". The game is so much fun, and will continue as long as there is someone to pick up the toy and hand it back. We don't play that game here, as it gets very exhausting. If baby throws a toy over the gate, it stays there. He will eventually learn that no one is going to play that fun game with him and he won't have any toys to play with.

[R&R]

Here is what I have done in the past that seems to work...

Get yourself a big laundry basket, when he throws the toy over the gate, say "no throwing toys" but rather than hand it back, stick it in the laundry basket and place the basket out of reach, but within sight.

Eventually he'll figure out throwing toys means NO toys and he'll stop.

I would say that handing the toys back is a bit of a game for him.

It's a developmental stage and he's too young to be 'punished' in this way. Natural consequences are much more effective, as is redirecting.

[AfterSchoolMom]

I never thought of making it into a game for him by handing it back. Geez, that should have been obvious!

I don't want to "punish" him for doing this. It isn't really a big deal in the grand scheme of things as far as annoyance to me. I just want to figure out a way to teach him that it's not acceptable to do it, before the throwing escalates (like starting to throw toys at other kids). I'd like to nip it in the bud while he's still little.

[jen]

It's a developmental stage and he's too young to be 'punished' in this way. Natural consequences are much more effective, as is redirecting.

I actually missed the part about this being a 1 year old. That said, the natural consequence of throwing a toy is NOT having the toy...I would not play the pick-up game with a 1 year old. While I agree that giving him a box of soft stuff to take things in and out of is a great idea, I don't agree that putting up the items that were tossed over the gate is a "punishment."

Kids are very, very capable of learning given the opportunity.

[marniewon]

It's a developmental stage and he's too young to be 'punished' in this way. Natural consequences are much more effective, as is redirecting.

Not giving the toys back is NOT punishment - this IS a natural consequence that he can learn from.

[R&R]

Not giving the toys back is NOT punishment - this IS a natural consequence that he can learn from.

Taking them away and saying 'no throwing' is not a natural consequence. Allowing them to fall over and remain there is.

[dEHmom]

He's playing the age old baby game of "drop the toy". The game is so much fun, and will continue as long as there is someone to pick up the toy and hand it back. We don't play that game here, as it gets very exhausting. If baby throws a toy over the gate, it stays there. He will eventually learn that no one is going to play that fun game with him and he won't have any toys to play with.

Exactly...Much the same as "throw my soother/bottle on the floor/out of crib/out of stroller", etc.

I don't think there any any age that is too young other than newborns. From 6 months and up they are already playing these games.

My own children and other children learned that if they throw their soother out of the crib, it stays there. I am not crawling under the crib 100 times to get it when they should be napping.

I don't think of this as disciplining so much as making them realize that ok, it's not a game, and she's not going to keep handing it back.

If it falls once, ok, i'll give it back, but if it's a stalling tactic or a game for them, then I'm not playing it.

[dEHmom]

And as for the gate part...

I use a gate to keep the kids out of my kitchen and keep the dogs separated.

The littles like to take toys and throw them over gate as well. Sometimes resulting in the dogs chewing the toy if I have not noticed.

The kids then become upset because the toys are on the other side and they cannot reach/get at them.

So for me the toys on my kitchen floor are a nuisance and I prefer them not there. So I will pick them up and put them away. I will redirect the child but I will not allow them to throw them over again, so if that means closing the bin and putting it away then so be it.

[nannyde]

Claim the gate and the gate area on both sides. It belongs to the adult and is only accessable by invite only. They only come into the area when you invite them. They are only allowed in the area to pass thru it by invite only.

My kids are not allowed near the gate or to touch the gate. The area on both sides of the gate belong to the adults. There's nothing in that area for the children. It's plain without temptation.

Use masking tape, duct tape, or rug, carpet sample, whatever can be easily put on the area and make a square or rectangle to show the LINE that can't be crossed. The more colorful the tape the better. Just don't let them play with the tape when it's on the floor. About 2.5 feet square is enough space for them to understand it. If they go into the "box" area to the gate then THAT's the rule they are breaking.

Boundary placement and then teaching him to stay outside of the boundary will solve it pretty quickly. They understand the idea of the line at about fifteen months.

Once the area is off limits then your focus can be on teaching him how to play toys properly which includes not dropping the toys on the ground for the sake of dropping them. Here we PUT the toys on the ground. PUT the toys in the toy box. PUT the toys on the shelf.

[dEHmom]

Claim the gate and the gate area on both sides. It belongs to the adult and is only accessable by invite only. They only come into the area when you invite them. They are only allowed in the area to pass thru it by invite only.

Ceasar Milan???? !!!! Sorry had to say it!

[QualiTcare]

i would ignore it. i wouldn't give it back, i wouldn't pick it up - nothing.

they like to throw something so you'll pick it up and give it back. it's fun.

they might even start crying and throwing a fit when you DON'T.

it's up to you if you want to give into that or not.

i'd just pick them all up at the end of the day or naptime.

[R&R]

Claim the gate and the gate area on both sides. It belongs to the adult and is only accessable by invite only. They only come into the area when you invite them. They are only allowed in the area to pass thru it by invite only.

My kids are not allowed near the gate or to touch the gate. The area on both sides of the gate belong to the adults. There's nothing in that area for the children. It's plain without temptation.

Use masking tape, duct tape, or rug, carpet sample, whatever can be easily put on the area and make a square or rectangle to show the LINE that can't be crossed. The more colorful the tape the better. Just don't let them play with the tape when it's on the floor. About 2.5 feet square is enough space for them to understand it. If they go into the "box" area to the gate then THAT's the rule they are breaking.

Boundary placement and then teaching him to stay outside of the boundary will solve it pretty quickly. They understand the idea of the line at about fifteen months.

Once the area is off limits then your focus can be on teaching him how to play toys properly which includes not dropping the toys on the ground for the sake of dropping them. Here we PUT the toys on the ground. PUT the toys in the toy box. PUT the toys on the shelf.

This is a little too 'herd-like' to be appropriate. Not an example of developmentally appropriate guidance. Children under the age of 3 cannot understand physical floor boundaries. They don't even know right from left. What if they fall over the line? I hope there is no hand-slapping or time outs for crossing.
nannyde, I understand that you are a dominate presence on this board. I wish your advice were less agressive and business oriented and more child/family friendly. Family child care is a business, but it's a business about loving children.
What do you do if a child 'touches' the gate?