Throwing Toys Over The Gate

[JenNJ]

I just leave any toys thrown over gate. I move them out of my direct path (in case of fire or other emergency) so no one trips and falls over them, but they remain on the other side of the gate until clean up time. At clean up time, I have the thrower clean up the thrown toys ad we talk about how much more fun it is to play with the toys rather than throw them.

[MommyMuffin]

I have this same problem with my 18 month old. I love the idea of having a laundry basket and when toys get throw they go in the basket.

Natural consequence is = toy is gone
Safety Hazard = out of the way and nobody can trip on it
Line for crossing gate = Will try this out; may work for mine if I keep at it.

Perfect and will work for me and my daycare. Thanks to those who post positive constructive ideas and solutions!

[Zoe]

I pretty much agree with the majority here. Just leave them. Ignore the behavior. It's a game for the little guy. Maybe if you see him doing it, or start to do it, pay attention to him by saying something like, "Whatcha got there? Is that a truck? What can we do with that truck?" Play with him and see how much fun it is to PLAY with the toys rather than drop them over the gate and then not have toys to play with.

As for the whole boundary thing and having kids know what they are; I've never had a problem getting kids under 3 to understand rooms they can't go into! After a few days of understanding my house rules, they don't even try to go into other rooms. I understand that there are guidelines put in front of us for a general development idea of what to expect, but real-life experience has taught me that every child is different and we can't go by the book on everything! It's a case by case basis and an individual decision of the provider to implement what works for them and their kids.

My goodness, can you imagine how easy our job would be if all kids were "by the book"!?!

[nannyde]

One more thing:

I've never met a kid who wasn't excellent at dropping toys over a gate. As soon as they are physically capable of standing and putting a toy over the gate they get really good at it really fast.

All of the kids in my entire 31 year career have come to me with excellent skills dropping, dumping, and throwing toys. It's just not a skill set that needs practicing here with the indoor toys I have out in play.

I've invested a lot of our resources getting really great toys of high quality. I want to have them for many generations of children to come. I want them to stay in good condition. Dropping them into a basket can cause damage to them. Dropping them into a basket with other toys can really cause damage to them.

Building in protection of your resources is a good business plan. It's wonderful to see this generation of kids playing with the same toys that I had ten years ago. It's wonderful to be able to share these toys with each age group year after year. It's very cool to have the kids here play with the same toys my ten year old ds played with as a baby. I love that.

[laundrymom]

herd like?
developmentally appropriate guidance is not a one size fits all term. Ive been a provider for over 22 years, "in home". I agree with Nanny on this, while I dont mind mine playing up to the gate, they may not hang on it, lick it or knock it down. We have a rule. If its not yours dont touch it. I havent given them my gates. There are things in their environment that they simply are not allowed to touch. Because I havent given it to them, period. They know by the time they are walking not to touch my tv, shelf items under the tv or remotes, phones, etc. Definately by age 3 they know they arent allowed to step in areas off limits. Here we have baby bubbles, I place blankets on the floor to lay the babies on if Im right with them, NOONE is allowed to step on the baby blanket. We call them baby bubbles. You can be sure that noone here steps on them, even my under 3 crew which is the upper end of the kids I care for... In fact by about 22 months here you are considered a big kid and expected to follow rules and listen to direction. (side note~~ There is a wonderful book called "the foot book" It will have your 3 yr olds knowing left from right before they can say the words! mine do by about 15 months, .) Never put a limit on a childs ability to understand what is expected of them. Never say, oh well hes just 2 1/2,... you cant expect him to sit for meals, or diapers, or shoes, or anything else. Thats a load of crap. Kids from an early age will do so many things you may not believe if they are encouraged and shown how. I know that most of the providers who have been at this awhile wil probably agree with me. A lot of adults sell a childs ability too short. Focus on what they CAN do,.... and encourage them the CAN do MORE tomorrow. wow, what a world THAT would make.

as far as throwing toys over,.. I dont retrieve them, until time to clean up, then I unhook gate, snow plow them back into the playroom, to be put away. and continue on with our day.

This is a little too 'herd-like' to be appropriate. Not an example of developmentally appropriate guidance. Children under the age of 3 cannot understand physical floor boundaries. They don't even know right from left. What if they fall over the line? I hope there is no hand-slapping or time outs for crossing.
nannyde, I understand that you are a dominate presence on this board. I wish your advice were less agressive and business oriented and more child/family friendly. Family child care is a business, but it's a business about loving children.
What do you do if a child 'touches' the gate?

[nannyde]

Thanks everyone for the advice, and sorry if I started something.


Do you think that if I put the toys up so that he doesn't have them after throwing them, he'll make the association between the cause and the effect at 13 months?

It's GREAT to have these discussions.

I don't know if he will learn or not because I've never used that technique.

[laundrymom]

.
What do you do if a child 'touches' the gate?

I say,.in a low voice,... ahh ahhh ahhh,.. no touch gate. they back off. I say,.. Good BOY!!!!! LOVINS!!!!in a happy voice and give them a hug. works here,.. maybe my kids have all been highly intelligent?

[nannyde]

I pretty much agree with the majority here. Just leave them. Ignore the behavior. It's a game for the little guy. Maybe if you see him doing it, or start to do it, pay attention to him by saying something like, "Whatcha got there? Is that a truck? What can we do with that truck?" Play with him and see how much fun it is to PLAY with the toys rather than drop them over the gate and then not have toys to play with.

As for the whole boundary thing and having kids know what they are; I've never had a problem getting kids under 3 to understand rooms they can't go into! After a few days of understanding my house rules, they don't even try to go into other rooms. I understand that there are guidelines put in front of us for a general development idea of what to expect, but real-life experience has taught me that every child is different and we can't go by the book on everything! It's a case by case basis and an individual decision of the provider to implement what works for them and their kids.

My goodness, can you imagine how easy our job would be if all kids were "by the book"!?!

I agree with you a hundred percent that it is case by case. I've had many babies under one who got it and then some who took up until about the fifteenth month. Some get it in a day or two. Some take weeks. For me the age they start here has a lot to do with it. If they start as an older baby it can take a bit longer.

[Christian Mother]

the tape or some form of a boundary such as gate etc, is excellent. Even in the schools they use carpeted areas, tape, or the painted lines on the floors, tiles, etc, to help guide the younger kids along.

They know this works because kids need a reminder constantly! Until it is a routine and something they just know. They SEE the tape, and it reminds them "oh, thats the don't cross line" same with the gate. Otherwise you'd have to sit there and watch for him to get too close.

I completely agree!! I worked at our Christian School 5 yrs in Kindergarten and the 2's class and we use tap on the carpet at circle time. Not to mention these little ones are fully potty trained at 2. It can be done... Gosh..that was like 17 yrs ago...!!

[nannyde]

I say,.in a low voice,... ahh ahhh ahhh,.. no touch gate. they back off. I say,.. Good BOY!!!!! LOVINS!!!!in a happy voice and give them a hug. works here,.. maybe my kids have all been highly intelligent?

I do some version of nooooooooooooooooowah or ahhh ahhh

Just a sound that is a little exaggerated and firm in tone.

[jen]

Another gate issue popped in to my head...

A few years ago I had a child who was nearly 3. At home, he didn't have a "no touching the gate" rule. Well, he not only touched it, he opened it. Unfortunately, Mom didn't notice until little sister fell down the stairs. She was fine, but kids should know EARLY ON not to touch the gate.

[nannyde]

Another gate issue popped in to my head...

A few years ago I had a child who was nearly 3. At home, he didn't have a "no touching the gate" rule. Well, he not only touched it, he opened it. Unfortunately, Mom didn't notice until little sister fell down the stairs. She was fine, but kids should know EARLY ON not to touch the gate.

I have these "transitional by invite zones" at the top and bottom of my stairs. That gives them an area they can't go into without invite BEFORE they get to the gate. I teach them the boundary once they start commando crawling my stairs which is the point where we stop carrying them up and down. The top of the stairs area is naturally defined by a small 3 X 4 foot hallway. The bottom of the stairs has NOTHING in it... just carpet. (There's nothing in that space useable by the kids or to draw them to the area)

I teach them not to go into the zone without permission so the gate doesn't become an issue. My biggest fear is a kid falling down the stairs or getting to the stairs from the bottom up without being spotted by an adult.

I invest a lot of time stair training. Part of the training comes with their experience with staying out of the zoned off area during play. Even with the training we still keep the gates to the fall zone in place whenever the kids are in the house.

[jen]

I am very seriousl about the stairs as well. I have a split entry home with hardwood floors (including the stairs; although there is a carpet runner) and slate tile in the entry way.

Parents are shocked when they see my littles going single file up the stairs, hand on the railing, never passing each other or looking backward, and always keeping a safe distance from the person ahead of them. I walk directly behind them. Younger preschoolers do the crawl with me behind, toddlers I usually just carry.

[SilverSabre25]

I say,.in a low voice,... ahh ahhh ahhh,.. no touch gate. they back off. I say,.. Good BOY!!!!! LOVINS!!!!in a happy voice and give them a hug. works here,.. maybe my kids have all been highly intelligent?

I frequently use that sound as well. I'm not sure if it's an "eh" or an "ah" or how I would spell it, but I say their name and then 1-3 "ah's" depending on the situation and the kid, if they don't stop/drop/back off/whatever immediately I remind them of the rule in that low, stern, "mom voice", and then I always say "Thank you, name" when they comply with whatever rule it is. It's nice to be able to control them with a a word from across the room.

I also use the "Name...." drawn out, in that same low, stern, mom voice. Amazing the age-old things that work. The stink eye usually accompanies that one. And still gets a thank you when they comply, but it's not a cheerful one, it's a low-voiced one.

[Lucy]

Ceasar Milan???? !!!! Sorry had to say it!

I had the same thought. Not specifically about Cesar, but I was thinking "so you train them like a DOG???"