Throwing Toys Over The Gate

[nannyde]

Ceasar Milan???? !!!! Sorry had to say it!

I came up with it for my business before he came to America but yes we have much in common with many of the animal species.

[QualiTcare]

well, i think the gate IS the boundary so setting up a boundary isn't the problem.

the "problem" is that he is throwing things OVER the boundary. it doesn't matter if the boundary is a gate, tape, or a rope. he's "crossing the boundary" without REALLY crossing the boundary - by throwing things.

i don't see how that solves the problem (if you consider it a problem) other than they'll learn how to throw farther.

i think it's too much wasted energy/effort to be honest. kids throw things at a certain age. there's nothing "wrong" about it. the more attention you give it, the longer it will last.

[dEHmom]

R&R this is by no means meant to offend.

Do you have you're own children?

Have you worked as a provider?

Are your methods, advice etc coming out of a book?

I'm just simply asking b/c as a parent/provider, it is obvious that you cannot read a book to deal with children. It can offer you advice, or strategies, but there is no book on how to raise children because every child is so different.

It sounds like everything you've posted is textbook, and probably what you are advised to advise on how to deal.




I hear a tick tick tick going on....is there a bomb somewhere?

[jen]

The only areas in my daycare that are gated are the stairs. It is a safety hazzard to leave toys on the stairs, and therefore I pick them up and put them away.

Although my gates are pretty heavy duty and are appropriately mounted for the top and the bottom of the staircase, I surely don't want to risk kids hanging on the gate. It isn't safe; MY first priority in daycare is keeping children SAFE.

R&R, you seem a bit light on practical, hands on experience.

[SilverSabre25]

Lazy today, don't feel like sticking quotes in.

Agree: it's developmentally normal, and that you're making it a game by giving the toy back. He doesn't understand the words you're using. The natural consequence is to lose all the toys that go over; it doesn't matter whether you leave them where they were or you pick it up and put it in one central basket on your side of the gate--as you pick it up, tell him that we don't throw toys over the gate. Give him the throwing/dropping outlet on HIS side, too, and just confiscate the toys that go over. It's entirely appropriate to enforce that limit.


Agree: I have a rule regarding touching of baby gates as well; amazingly all my kids understand it (even the youngest) and they're all under 3--they don't necessarily remember but a simple "We don't touch the gate" is enough to get them to back off when I need them too. R&R I'm a child development expert too, and I think you're underestimating their ability to understand. I enacted the rule to curb the shaking of the gates that was driving me nuts and threatening to destroy the wall.

[dEHmom]

thanks Jen! glad i'm not the only one thinking that.

still hearing the tick...anyone else hear it?

[Little People]

Claim the gate and the gate area on both sides. It belongs to the adult and is only accessable by invite only. They only come into the area when you invite them. They are only allowed in the area to pass thru it by invite only.

My kids are not allowed near the gate or to touch the gate. The area on both sides of the gate belong to the adults. There's nothing in that area for the children. It's plain without temptation.

Use masking tape, duct tape, or rug, carpet sample, whatever can be easily put on the area and make a square or rectangle to show the LINE that can't be crossed. The more colorful the tape the better. Just don't let them play with the tape when it's on the floor. About 2.5 feet square is enough space for them to understand it. If they go into the "box" area to the gate then THAT's the rule they are breaking.

Boundary placement and then teaching him to stay outside of the boundary will solve it pretty quickly. They understand the idea of the line at about fifteen months.

Once the area is off limits then your focus can be on teaching him how to play toys properly which includes not dropping the toys on the ground for the sake of dropping them. Here we PUT the toys on the ground. PUT the toys in the toy box. PUT the toys on the shelf.

Nannyde, you and I think a lot alike. There are many of your posts I see myself in. I think it is because we have done childcare for many many years and it is our age::::::

Little story, bought a brand new Flat screen TV and my grandson came over (he was 3 at the time) and my daughter and I went to the kitchen (5 steps away) and 3 minutes later I walked back in and my grandson had taken a metal airplane (hotwheels) and had the nose of the airplane making circles in my new flat screen TV

Needless to say, the TV was ruined, So I went and bought another one and made him go with me. We came home and I used duck tape 4ft back and told him he was not to cross the tape and not to even put his toes on the tape:::: So what does he do...put his toes on the tape, this got him to time out and when he came back out, I ask him if he wanted to put his toes on it again? He said no way grandma. So later that evening my dh came home and went to get a movie for him and my dh crossed over the tape and my grandson was yelling for me and said awwww he stepped over the tape!!

The tape said there until the kids got base housing (40 days) and my grandson NEVER crossed that tape again.

So your reply to use duck tape was excellent advice!! AS ALWAYS!!

[nannyde]

This is a little too 'herd-like' to be appropriate. Not an example of developmentally appropriate guidance. Children under the age of 3 cannot understand physical floor boundaries. They don't even know right from left. What if they fall over the line? I hope there is no hand-slapping or time outs for crossing.
nannyde, I understand that you are a dominate presence on this board. I wish your advice were less agressive and business oriented and more child/family friendly. Family child care is a business, but it's a business about loving children.
What do you do if a child 'touches' the gate?

Children under the age of 3 cannot understand physical floor boundaries.

::

I knew I was raising gifted kids. Mine all get it by fifteen months. Not only do they understand it but within a few months of exposure you can remove the tape!!!!!!!!!

If they cross the line or touch the gate you take them out of that area. Take them to the furthest point away from it in the area they CAN be in and tell them what you want them to do. In my home it's "go play toys little spud muffin." "Find something to do that you CAN do in this awesome playroom filled with thousands of dollars worth of the best toys on the planet."

This is a little too 'herd-like' to be appropriate.

I prefer "group-like".

nannyde, I understand that you are a dominate presence on this board. I wish your advice were less agressive and business oriented and more child/family friendly. Family child care is a business, but it's a business about loving children.

Hmmmm I've been running shop for 17 years and have cared for exceptionally wonderful children who do really well in their life once they leave. I've been making a good living. Believe me... I GET that it's a business.

I'm all for your idea of developmentally appropriate technique. There are many ways to raise really great kids and have a successful business. I just use different techniques. Share yours so we can all learn from your wisdom, education, and experience. I may not agree with them or find them useful in my setting but I'm willing to give them a consideration.

[dEHmom]

the tape or some form of a boundary such as gate etc, is excellent. Even in the schools they use carpeted areas, tape, or the painted lines on the floors, tiles, etc, to help guide the younger kids along.

They know this works because kids need a reminder constantly! Until it is a routine and something they just know. They SEE the tape, and it reminds them "oh, thats the don't cross line" same with the gate. Otherwise you'd have to sit there and watch for him to get too close.

[nannyde]

the tape or some form of a boundary such as gate etc, is excellent. Even in the schools they use carpeted areas, tape, or the painted lines on the floors, tiles, etc, to help guide the younger kids along.

They know this works because kids need a reminder constantly! Until it is a routine and something they just know. They SEE the tape, and it reminds them "oh, thats the don't cross line" same with the gate. Otherwise you'd have to sit there and watch for him to get too close.

Yup

Works like a charm. Remember that the door or gate itself is a boundary. My technique is just extending that area to a larger more understandable visual block. Depending on what you are gateing off... eventually you can even remove the gate. If the area being gated is just a throughfare and not a fall zone or a zone with non kid stuff you can eventually remove the gate within a few months of the child getting it.

[dEHmom]

Children under the age of 3 cannot understand physical floor boundaries.

::

I knew I was raising gifted kids. Mine all get it by fifteen months. Not only do they understand it but within a few months of exposure you can remove the tape!!!!!!!!!

If they cross the line or touch the gate you take them out of that area. Take them to the furthest point away from it in the area they CAN be in and tell them what you want them to do. In my home it's "go play toys little spud muffin." "Find something to do that you CAN do in this awesome playroom filled with thousands of dollars worth of the best toys on the planet."

This is a little too 'herd-like' to be appropriate.

I prefer "group-like".

nannyde, I understand that you are a dominate presence on this board. I wish your advice were less agressive and business oriented and more child/family friendly. Family child care is a business, but it's a business about loving children.

Hmmmm I've been running shop for 17 years and have cared for exceptionally wonderful children who do really well in their life once they leave. I've been making a good living. Believe me... I GET that it's a business.

I'm all for your idea of developmentally appropriate technique. There are many ways to raise really great kids and have a successful business. I just use different techniques. Share yours so we can all learn from your wisdom, education, and experience. I may not agree with them or find them useful in my setting but I'm willing to give them a consideration.

Nannyde... Maybe you can add that huge essay you wrote on your new blog? The one about kids these days (sorry don't remember the title).

[AfterSchoolMom]

Thanks everyone for the advice, and sorry if I started something.


Do you think that if I put the toys up so that he doesn't have them after throwing them, he'll make the association between the cause and the effect at 13 months?

[Christian Mother]

I have a 17 mo little DCB and he started out throwing toys also...either on the floor or down the stairs...my stairs are gated and i have railings that the little guys loves to throw little cars down. I don't pay much attention to it...I realize it's a fun game and he wants me to join in by going and getting it back for him. I don't. So now he doesn't throw toys. It did take a little bit to catch on but now he is almost past that stage. Some times though he forgets and throws a car down there and then it's gone...til the next day... I agree with everyone else on leaving the toys over the gate. At the end of the day pick them up and put them away. I never have so many toys out that there all over the house. I take a few out each days so there is something diff. each day to play with. Then clean and put them away.

[morgan24]

I to claim the gate as mine. It's at the bottom of the stairs leading up from the daycare room. I start them young not to go by the gate. It hasn't taken very long for any of them to get it. I think you can teach any age boundries.

I have a separate area for the younger ones and I use Jen's method. I take the toys they throw and say no throwing toys. They learn that if they want toys keep them in your own area.

[SilverSabre25]

Thanks everyone for the advice, and sorry if I started something.


Do you think that if I put the toys up so that he doesn't have them after throwing them, he'll make the association between the cause and the effect at 13 months?

At 13 months? Maybe, maybe not; depends on him and his development. But if you're consistent in how you handle it (don't get mad, pick it up quietly and put it in the basket on your side, if he fusses explain that if he throws it over he loses it and he needs to throw it into HIS basket) then he will eventually get it; might take a couple of months, but I'd fully expect him to at least be doing it a lot LESS by 15 months. He will keep doing it sometimes, just to see if the limit is still the same and if the same thing happens. It's boundary testing and normal; just keep being consistent.