Destruction of Our Property

[Familycare71]

I just don't feel like I can keep up with the forum! I don't know... Maybe it's just me. All I do know is when I read the original post I was
As she explained and then recanted things seemed less severe - but how do readers know that!?
I love this forum because I feel like the dialog is great for learning and I love being able to vent occ and have people who do the same job understand-

[MyAngels]

Well Crazy 8 decided to leave the forum. A new member no less. There is no reason why some of this needs to be so toxic. Lighten up. People come here for advice not reprimand.

That's really too bad. Unfortunately I think it's more common for newer members to leave than members who have stuck around for a bit. I'm sure it's hard to see past some of the perceived harshness until you become more familiar with the various personalities behind the screen names.

[Lyss]

I just don't feel like I can keep up with the forum! I don't know... Maybe it's just me. All I do know is when I read the original post I was
As she explained and then recanted things seemed less severe - but how do readers know that!?
I love this forum because I feel like the dialog is great for learning and I love being able to vent occ and have people who do the same job understand-

I'm lost too I guess, I popped in to see what OP's decision was and found all this. It didn't seem that uncivilized but maybe I'm used to it or something. I am a bit caught off guard that this is a thread worthy of a scolding to everyone who posted a response when there are many threads that have ended much worse. I personally didn't think this was that bad until the end and really it wasn't even about the OP or that rude IMO. That said it is sad to lose another member.

I agree though that things are getting a bit much, sometimes it seems like its more about "getting" another poster someone dislikes or making something personal rather than being helpful to the post. There's a lot of members that have disappeared over the last few months that I really miss and hope this trend doesn't continue! We have enough drama from our DCPs! :: Tomorrow's a new day and hopefully a step up!

[Josiegirl]

I detest dogpiles and that's where it was going. I merely tried to show empathy for what she was going through and got accused of ego stroking. Well, maybe so. But I've seen it happen on other boards and I can't stand it. There are always those few who push their views and if you don't say yes yes yes to everything they say, you're ostracized. If I've learned anything in my 59 years of living, it's that *nothing* is as black and white as it would appear.

Yes, sometimes posters need to know the tone, or the personality behind the words written. Sometimes people are sensitive at heart. You have to develop a thick skin for some message boards and this is obviously one of them.

[Kaddidle Care]

Not that new - she's been posting here for about 2 years. She's in my Town but we've never formally met.

[Familycare71]

Not that new - she's been posting here for about 2 years. She's in my Town but we've never formally met.

There are two crazy 8... The one is crazy 8. This one was crazy_8! I only know because I posted on the other crazy 8 post... And got really confused! Lol

[Meyou]

I detest dogpiles and that's where it was going. I merely tried to show empathy for what she was going through and got accused of ego stroking. Well, maybe so. But I've seen it happen on other boards and I can't stand it. There are always those few who push their views and if you don't say yes yes yes to everything they say, you're ostracized. If I've learned anything in my 59 years of living, it's that *nothing* is as black and white as it would appear.

Yes, sometimes posters need to know the tone, or the personality behind the words written. Sometimes people are sensitive at heart. You have to develop a thick skin for some message boards and this is obviously one of them.

Don't you agree the incident wouldn't have happened if there was an adult outside? That is what the "view pushers" were pushing. If the children were supervised it wouldn't have happened. Just because the OP chose to be offended rather than seeing the wisdom of this advice isn't really their fault.

I used to be offended and frankly, a little scared of certain posters on this forum but now I think they speak sense most of the time. Often, we don't want to admit fault in ourselves and that is where the defensiveness happens and the "view pushers" follow.

[Familycare71]

I'm lost too I guess, I popped in to see what OP's decision was and found all this. It didn't seem that uncivilized but maybe I'm used to it or something. I am a bit caught off guard that this is a thread worthy of a scolding to everyone who posted a response when there are many threads that have ended much worse. I personally didn't think this was that bad until the end and really it wasn't even about the OP or that rude IMO. That said it is sad to lose another member.

I agree though that things are getting a bit much, sometimes it seems like its more about "getting" another poster someone dislikes or making something personal rather than being helpful to the post. There's a lot of members that have disappeared over the last few months that I really miss and hope this trend doesn't continue! We have enough drama from our DCPs! :: Tomorrow's a new day and hopefully a step up!

I do feel bad she left. I definitely don't want to insult or degrade anyone. I will temper my responses from now on...
Yes- I def have enough drama and am just looking for "co workers"

[Cradle2crayons]

Don't you agree the incident wouldn't have happened if there was an adult outside? That is what the "view pushers" were pushing. If the children were supervised it wouldn't have happened. Just because the OP chose to be offended rather than seeing the wisdom of this advice isn't really their fault.

I used to be offended and frankly, a little scared of certain posters on this forum but now I think they speak sense most of the time. Often, we don't want to admit fault in ourselves and that is where the defensiveness happens and the "view pushers" follow.

Wile I agree that it more than likely wouldn't have happened if the op had been outside, we never really know.

How many posts on here are about accidents and things that happen while e person is standing right there ??

Yes, most things are preventable. But what if the op had been outside and little Johnny fell off his bike and she was administering first aid and the kids who were innocently playing t ball took a swing and smashed something.

Yes, I agree that most everything can be prevented. But it's not always as black and white as we want it to be.

[Meyou]

Wile I agree that it more than likely wouldn't have happened if the op had been outside, we never really know.

How many posts on here are about accidents and things that happen while e person is standing right there ??

Yes, most things are preventable. But what if the op had been outside and little Johnny fell off his bike and she was administering first aid and the kids who were innocently playing t ball took a swing and smashed something.

Yes, I agree that most everything can be prevented. But it's not always as black and white as we want it to be.

This post was not about something that happened when the provider was right there. It was about something that happened when she wasn't there concerning children with a history of destructive behavior according the OP's description.

[Cradle2crayons]

This post was not about something that happened when the provider was right there. It was about something that happened when she wasn't there concerning children with a history of destructive behavior according the OP's description.

I know what the post was about but I also quoted and commented to your mention that we all agree that it wouldn't have happened had the op been outside and I don't agree. As I said, things happen when yu are standing right there.

That's why I commented what I did.

If everything were 100% preventable, even when we are standing there, then why are there so many posts about biting. And 99% of e time, it's happened before and then happened several more times while being shadowed.

[Meyou]

I know what the post was about but I also quoted and commented to your mention that we all agree that it wouldn't have happened had the op been outside and I don't agree. As I said, things happen when yu are standing right there.

That's why I commented what I did.

They smashed 3 feet of fence with a bat.....there is no way that could happen in my yard while I was outside with them. Maybe in a different yard that would be possible but that type of destruction would not happen here if I was outside. I CAN say that for sure. They might get one hit but my goodness they would never even see a bat again if even that happened here.

[Cat Herder]

There are two crazy 8... The one is crazy 8. This one was crazy_8! I only know because I posted on the other crazy 8 post... And got really confused! Lol

Perhaps THAT was part of the perceived problem. :confused:

I just looked over this thread and I assumed it was a long time poster as well....over two years. Someone who would already know the intent behind posters....

IMHO, Supervision topics are always a hot bed... We all come from different environments, communities, cultural backgrounds and have varying education levels. Thick skins and asking for clarification really becomes important when you cannot hear tone and intent.

[Familycare71]

Perhaps THAT was part of the perceived problem. :confused:

I just looked over this thread and I assumed it was a long time poster as well....over two years. Someone who would already know the intent behind posters....

IMHO, Supervision topics are always a hot bed... We all come from different environments, communities, cultural backgrounds and have varying education levels. Thick skins and asking for clarification really becomes important when you cannot hear tone and intent.

I think it was part of it...
Yes- for me if the original post said: I ran into the house for a min and my two dck hit a small woven fence with a bat ... I would have responded much differently than I did-
And I am NEVER reading between the lines again- :: I learned! So I shall move forward

[Crystal]

Call it a fault of mine, but I personally cannot dance around the fact that there was a complete lack of supervision, which resulted in destruction of property.....IMO she was lucky that it was a fence and not a child.

IRL....if this provider was standing in my living room, I would have likely been MORE direct. I cannot and will not ever "support" a provider who fails to do her most important job.....supervise to protect the health and safety of the children. I will advise and I will be critical in hope that she learns from her mistakes. Some times people need to hear the TRUTH about their mistakes, the REALITY of what can happen when they do not properly supervise. I feel that if I simply sit back and say nothing, then I am promoting and condoning unsafe child care practices. I am not saying I wouldn't care that the provider experienced something that was rattling for her....I DO care, but, in all honesty, I care about the CHILDREN first.

In the beginning of this thread, I did simply give advice. It wasn't until the OP began making excuses and changing her story that I personally became a little "irritated" and perhaps came off a little to harsh. But, I still stand by everything I said. I cannot understand WHY so many providers FAIL to understand the implications of not actively supervising children and then get offended when others address that very serious issue. I cannot understand WHY some providers "support" and "excuse" the failing to properly supervise, either.

I KNOW that we have ALL made mistakes. We are human. But, when you are given constructive criticism and then choose to take it personally rather than using it for what it is worth, then, I'm sorry, but that's on you.