Destruction of Our Property

[Crystal]

I detest dogpiles and that's where it was going. I merely tried to show empathy for what she was going through and got accused of ego stroking. Well, maybe so. But I've seen it happen on other boards and I can't stand it. There are always those few who push their views and if you don't say yes yes yes to everything they say, you're ostracized. If I've learned anything in my 59 years of living, it's that *nothing* is as black and white as it would appear.

Yes, sometimes posters need to know the tone, or the personality behind the words written. Sometimes people are sensitive at heart. You have to develop a thick skin for some message boards and this is obviously one of them.

I don't consider discussing the need to actively supervise "pushing views". It is our most important job. It is in every licensing regulation handbook there is. I think the advice she was given was very reasonable and it is too bad she took it personally, as the advice I gave her is the same advice I would give ANY provider who described what she described.

Empathy is one thing, excusing the error is completely different, and that IMO, is what you were doing when you stated that that these types of things could happen with the provider "right there". Here, THAT would never happen if I was right there. A whack over the head with a toy by a toddler, perhaps, destruction of three feet of fencing, NOT.

[Crystal]

Don't you agree the incident wouldn't have happened if there was an adult outside? That is what the "view pushers" were pushing. If the children were supervised it wouldn't have happened. Just because the OP chose to be offended rather than seeing the wisdom of this advice isn't really their fault.

I used to be offended and frankly, a little scared of certain posters on this forum but now I think they speak sense most of the time. Often, we don't want to admit fault in ourselves and that is where the defensiveness happens and the "view pushers" follow.

Thank you. :hug:

[Crystal]

They smashed 3 feet of fence with a bat.....there is no way that could happen in my yard while I was outside with them. Maybe in a different yard that would be possible but that type of destruction would not happen here if I was outside. I CAN say that for sure. They might get one hit but my goodness they would never even see a bat again if even that happened here.

[Josiegirl]

I'm not excusing anyone's supervision or lack thereof. Personally, I have never been in her house, don't know what her field of vision is from her kitchen, don't know what her set-up is, don't know her or her methods. I don't know in exactly what proximity her children were, they could have been 3 feet outside an open door. If I didn't read it close enough, I'm sorry. All I'm saying is I've seen dogpiles here(the poopy nappers ring a bell?) and other forums, bad enough that people leave and I find that sad. We come to places like this for support, compassion, friendliness, not to be torn apart or put down.

In my own daycare the children's safety comes first and foremost. I am not condoning what she did or should've done. I WASN'T THERE. I never said she was right or wrong, all I said was things do happen in a blink of an eye, whether you're standing right beside that child or 3' away. FWIW, I don't let the kids have bats so it wouldn't be an issue here either. But I think all of that could have been said without the tone that seeped through.

[mom2many]

I'm not excusing anyone's supervision or lack thereof. Personally, I have never been in her house, don't know what her field of vision is from her kitchen, don't know what her set-up is. I don't know in exactly what proximity her children were, they could have been 3 feet outside an open door. If I didn't read it close enough, I'm sorry. All I'm saying is I've seen dogpiles here(the poopy nappers ring a bell?) and other forums, bad enough that people leave and I find that sad. We come to places like this for support, compassion, friendliness, not to be torn apart or put down.

In my own daycare the children's safety comes first and foremost. I am not condoning what she did or should've done. I WASN'T THERE. I never said she was right or wrong, all I said was things do happen in a blink of an eye, whether you're standing right beside that child or 3' away.

Well said. I totally agree! Children's safety is 100% foremost in importance to me as well.

[Angelsj]

My advice:

No playing outside without adult supervision. They can sit inside until you are done cleaning up, if need be. I would not charge the Mom. You were not outside actively supervising, therefore she COULD get you in trouble. If they were able to that much damage, then they were unsupervised for far too long.

I understand where Josie is trying to go here. The above post is perfectly legit. It states your opinion, reasonable advice and a fair assessment of the situation.

See, I am thinking people DO NOT realize how important and absolutely NECCESSARY it is to provide constant, direct supervision at all times! The baseball bat that destroyed that fencing could have easily cracked a head. No way a child should have free range access to what can become a deadly weapon.

I am sorry to the OP, I do not mean to be harsh. I am just baffled at the number of providers who nonchalantly blow off the fact that they were not directly supervising and then blame the children and want parents to bear responsibility for something that happened on the provider's watch. or the provider tries to "explain away" injuries to children when they failed to adequately supervise and protect their safety.

Frankly, I am sick of it.

This one on the other hand (totally in my opinion) goes too far. Even though you say "I don't mean to be harsh," it is harsh. Just like someone saying "no offense but..." really means they are about to offend. I have seen much worse on this forum than anything that happened on this thread. I just think we can say what we feel without getting off into venomous territory where it just feels like everyone is attacking.

If you are interested in the difference, look at the "nap poopers" thread. Black Cat (who agrees with you and Nan, Crystal) stated her OPINION without feeling the need to put anyone else down. She got her ideas across, and insulted no one.

[Familycare71]

I understand where Josie is trying to go here. The above post is perfectly legit. It states your opinion, reasonable advice and a fair assessment of the situation.



This one on the other hand (totally in my opinion) goes too far. Even though you say "I don't mean to be harsh," it is harsh. Just like someone saying "no offense but..." really means they are about to offend. I have seen much worse on this forum than anything that happened on this thread. I just think we can say what we feel without getting off into venomous territory where it just feels like everyone is attacking.

If you are interested in the difference, look at the "nap poopers" thread. Black Cat (who agrees with you and Nan, Crystal) stated her OPINION without feeling the need to put anyone else down. She got her ideas across, and insulted no one.

I agree

[nanglgrl]

I understand where Josie is trying to go here. The above post is perfectly legit. It states your opinion, reasonable advice and a fair assessment of the situation.



This one on the other hand (totally in my opinion) goes too far. Even though you say "I don't mean to be harsh," it is harsh. Just like someone saying "no offense but..." really means they are about to offend. I have seen much worse on this forum than anything that happened on this thread. I just think we can say what we feel without getting off into venomous territory where it just feels like everyone is attacking.

If you are interested in the difference, look at the "nap poopers" thread. Black Cat (who agrees with you and Nan, Crystal) stated her OPINION without feeling the need to put anyone else down. She got her ideas across, and insulted no one.

[Kaddidle Care]

There are two crazy 8... The one is crazy 8. This one was crazy_8! I only know because I posted on the other crazy 8 post... And got really confused! Lol

OOOOHHH! I made a booboo! Wrong person.

[CedarCreek]

I'm not excusing anyone's supervision or lack thereof. Personally, I have never been in her house, don't know what her field of vision is from her kitchen, don't know what her set-up is, don't know her or her methods. I don't know in exactly what proximity her children were, they could have been 3 feet outside an open door. If I didn't read it close enough, I'm sorry. All I'm saying is I've seen dogpiles here(the poopy nappers ring a bell?) and other forums, bad enough that people leave and I find that sad. We come to places like this for support, compassion, friendliness, not to be torn apart or put down.

In my own daycare the children's safety comes first and foremost. I am not condoning what she did or should've done. I WASN'T THERE. I never said she was right or wrong, all I said was things do happen in a blink of an eye, whether you're standing right beside that child or 3' away. FWIW, I don't let the kids have bats so it wouldn't be an issue here either. But I think all of that could have been said without the tone that seeped through.

This^^^ I like it.

[Crystal]

I understand where Josie is trying to go here. The above post is perfectly legit. It states your opinion, reasonable advice and a fair assessment of the situation.



This one on the other hand (totally in my opinion) goes too far. Even though you say "I don't mean to be harsh," it is harsh. Just like someone saying "no offense but..." really means they are about to offend. I have seen much worse on this forum than anything that happened on this thread. I just think we can say what we feel without getting off into venomous territory where it just feels like everyone is attacking.

If you are interested in the difference, look at the "nap poopers" thread. Black Cat (who agrees with you and Nan, Crystal) stated her OPINION without feeling the need to put anyone else down. She got her ideas across, and insulted no one.

Okay, this, I can respect. In this post, I will admit, I allowed my irritation with a couple of other threads regarding lack of supervision to influence the tone of the post and message I was trying to convey. I do apologize for that, and will try to be more thoughtful of that in the future.

I will say though that the beginning of that post, I still stand by:

See, I am thinking people DO NOT realize how important and absolutely NECCESSARY it is to provide constant, direct supervision at all times! The baseball bat that destroyed that fencing could have easily cracked a head. No way a child should have free range access to what can become a deadly weapon.


This part I will apologize for:

I am sorry to the OP, I do not mean to be harsh. I am just baffled at the number of providers who nonchalantly blow off the fact that they were not directly supervising and then blame the children and want parents to bear responsibility for something that happened on the provider's watch. or the provider tries to "explain away" injuries to children when they failed to adequately supervise and protect their safety.

Frankly, I am sick of it.

[craftymissbeth]

Okay, this, I can respect. In this post, I will admit, I allowed my irritation with a couple of other threads regarding lack of supervision to influence the tone of the post and message I was trying to convey. I do apologize for that, and will try to be more thoughtful of that in the future.

I will say though that the beginning of that post, I still stand by:

See, I am thinking people DO NOT realize how important and absolutely NECCESSARY it is to provide constant, direct supervision at all times! The baseball bat that destroyed that fencing could have easily cracked a head. No way a child should have free range access to what can become a deadly weapon.


This part I will apologize for:

I am sorry to the OP, I do not mean to be harsh. I am just baffled at the number of providers who nonchalantly blow off the fact that they were not directly supervising and then blame the children and want parents to bear responsibility for something that happened on the provider's watch. or the provider tries to "explain away" injuries to children when they failed to adequately supervise and protect their safety.

Frankly, I am sick of it.

Crystal, I just want to start out by saying that I enjoy reading a lot of the advice that you give on here and I love that you think of the children first. With that said, though, I've noticed that in quite a few of the threads you post in you go back and apologize or admit that you've allowed your temper to get the best of you.

[Crystal]

Crystal, I just want to start out by saying that I enjoy reading a lot of the advice that you give on here and I love that you think of the children first. With that said, though, I've noticed that in quite a few of the threads you post in you go back and apologize or admit that you've allowed your temper to get the best of you.

Thank you. And yes, there have been a couple of times. Not quite a few, but a couple I do admit. Not necessarily losing my temper, but saying things that were unnecessary, yes. I suppose I could just not apologize though.

[MyAngels]

All right, who put the tag on this thread? ::.

Sorry to veer OT yet again .

[Blackcat31]

All right, who put the tag on this thread? ::.

I know, I laughed when I read that. ::