Is it Common For Parents to Vacation Without Children?

[emosks]

Hahaha...where is Nannyde?? Because she had a GREAT response to this very question!

Do you REALLY think that all your parents are actually TELLING you that they are off when they ARE OFF?? Heck no! I can tell you that half the time a parent is off work but brings their child to daycare they don't utter a single word to me about being off. But I have EYES and I have a CLOCK and I can see what they are wearing and what time they arrived. Both of those things are NOT conducive to them arriving on time to work or being dressed for it!

I'm just gonna say it...I really do NOT believe you. I don't believe that you really have 100% of your parents who are so freaking great that they never would ever even think of spending a day off let alone a week without their kids. I don't believe it.

I think YOU believe it. I think YOU think they are not doing this. But I think they have you fooled. They ARE taking time off - they are just lying about it either openly or by omission. Either that or you are NOT charging them for days their child does not attend. Because THEN they have incentive for staying home with them - money savings!

I find it odd that forum after forum after forum and providers who I know in person CONSTANTLY battle this dilemma and ethical debate but here , only on daycare.com we find an anomaly of providers who simply do not EVER have that problem and have super, duper, great, fantastic PERFECT daycare parents.

Something does not add up.

Sweet Jesus...here we go again. YES...we do have super, duper, great, fantastic families. You have crappy ones which is evident by your posts. Again, if my families take a day off and send their kids to daycare to get some errands done (most have 2-4 kids) then so be it. As long as I get my money and am doing MY job then it's none of my business. It's no different than a teacher taking a personal day or whatnot. Do you want to take your kids to your OB appointment when you're up on a table legs spread open? You really want your 2 year old in the room for that? :confused:

[Crystal]

Sweet Jesus...here we go again. YES...we do have super, duper, great, fantastic families. You have crappy ones which is evident by your posts. Again, if my families take a day off and send their kids to daycare to get some errands done (most have 2-4 kids) then so be it. As long as I get my money and am doing MY job then it's none of my business. It's no different than a teacher taking a personal day or whatnot. Do you want to take your kids to your OB appointment when you're up on a table legs spread open? You really want your 2 year old in the room for that? :confused:

! So you know, though, she was talking to me! Her and nanny simply cannot believe that I actually love my work and my families. (of course I'm a liar so you may not wanna believe me either) seems they are a bit bitter.

FYI: I am in TOTAL agreement with you on all counts in this thread.

[emosks]

FYI...one of the reasons why I do not have families like what has been mentioned, is becasue I simply refuse to enroll a family when it is clearly obvious that a parent is so self-involved that they will "neglect" their children so that can have or do whatever they want. I actually sent a parent away during an interview one time and told her I am sorry but I will not be able to work with you. It was awkward, but I KNOW I avoided alot of drama by doing it.

I interview potential clients, just as they interview me. I have become a very good judge of character over the years and I simply will not enroll a family who does not have close to the same philosophy of care as I do. Not exactly the same, because I am willing to see things from others perespectives, but pretty close or the daycare relationship would be stressful and I am not going to add stress to my day.

Same here! We terminated a family that was drama. No problems with that either.

[emosks]

! So you know, though, she was talking to me! Her and nanny simply cannot believe that I actually love my work and my families. (of course I'm a liar so you may not wanna believe me either) seems they are a bit bitter.

FYI: I am in TOTAL agreement with you on all counts in this thread.

Oh I knew! I wanted all to know that our daycare has great families too!

[Crystal]

Emosks, isn't it GREAT when you can wake up every morning and "go" to a job you enjoy? I recommend every one finds "that" job if they are unhappy with their current place of employment.

[Crystal]

Hahahaha! I just realized that I am a BAD MOM!!!! My kids, 17 and 12 are spending the night at grandma's and a friend's tonight and me and hubby are gonna get busy!!! dang, maybe I better cancel my plans.

I completely forgot they were going to be gone tonight until I read this thread!

[professionalmom]

And, I could say that I don't believe YOU would never take a day off and leave your kids in daycare while you take care of stuff that the kids would not enjoy, but I don't call people LIARS without facts to prove that they are.

Just because a parent takes a day off doesn't mean they are out having fun or being pampered. they are handling behind the scenes life stuff that is much easier to accomplish solo than with kids in tow. And, sometimes they are being pampered....good for them, we should ALL take time to be pampered and enjoy our time alone, it's good for us.

I know that this was directed at Judy, but I do have to say Judy and I are so alike, we could be sisters. So, I certainly would NOT take a day off and leave my child(ren) in daycare. I could never deal with the guilt of it. Actually, approximately 20 years ago a babysitter sexually abused a 3 year old family member of mine. Since then, NO ONE other than family (and the church nursery during church services) is EVER allowed to watch any child in my family. So, I can honestly and unequivocally say that NO, I would not leave my child in daycare for ANY time that was not absolutely necessary. Heck, I wouldn't even leave her (or them) in the care of someone other than daddy unless it was absolutely necessary. But I guess it's very hard to believe that there are people that take parenting THAT seriously these days.

As for doing things outside work with children in tow. There are only a few things I would not do with DD in tow (unless I absolutely had no one to take her) - go to court or go to the hospital. That's the only 2 places I can think of right now. Every other place is a possible child tag-along, even the fancy restraunt DH and I like to go to for our "date" nights. She's been there everytime we have been there since she was born. She always goes on errands with me unless she stays with dad. She spends approximately 1-3 hours a MONTH away from mom AND dad, in the care of some other family member. But I guess it really is hard to believe that people like Judy and I actually exist in 2010. Call me old-fashioned and I will blush from the compliment! At least I know my grandma would be proud of me as a mother, if she were still alive.

As for pampering, I get that in too - when dad or grandma can babysit. And it's maybe 3 times a year. So, I guess my philosophy is God first, parenting second, marriage third, pampering and me time fourth. It's perfectly alright with me if you or anyone else has a different philosophy. I don't think you're a terrible person if you do. Different philosophies are what make us unique.

[professionalmom]

Hahahaha! I just realized that I am a BAD MOM!!!! My kids, 17 and 12 are spending the night at grandma's and a friend's tonight and me and hubby are gonna get busy!!! dang, maybe I better cancel my plans.

I completely forgot they were going to be gone tonight until I read this thread!

Your overexaggerations just go to show that you have NOT read this thread in it's entirety. NO ONE ever said you were a bad mom. NO ONE ever said that the occassional night away from the kiddos is bad. ACTUALLY, what I said was that when they are OLDER and can handle the separation, it;s much more acceptable. I highly doubt 12 and 17 is too young for an overnight away from mom and dad. How do you get that it's the same as a week away from a 12 month old or a 2 year old? Queen of mountain out of a mole hill!!

[booroo]

Holy buckets of rrrrrrrrr... Oyi.....

Heres the deal not all parents are chumps.... Taking a break from your child(ren) is not bad....

If a parent is paying for the services then why not use it, it's the patents choice. Even if research says it doesn't mean all children will be like it... I try not to shop with my children, I do all shopping on Saturday afternoons, when dad is home...

We all have a difference in opionions based on what we have going on in our dyc or what has gone on in our dyc....

[Crystal]

professionalmom, it certainly was not directed at you....I do have a great amount of respect for you and I KNOW you spend most waking hours with your DD and will with the twins as well.

My point was, we ALL take some time without our children......even you say that dad or grandma "babysits" for you from time to time.

I do not think it's okay for parents to spend ALL of their time off without their children. I certainly think that they should be spending the vast majority of their time off with their children. But, we all have things we HAVE to do or that are much easier - for ourselves and for our children - without the children in tow. Some parents have ONLY their daycare provider that they can leave their child with....not everyone has the luxury of a nearby relative or even a father in the household, that can care for their children while they tend to those things.

As far as going on week-long vacations without their children, I had never even realized that this was an issue for providers because I have NEVER had a parent take a weeklong vacation without their children. I am pretty sure I would know if they did, as someone else would be bringing their children to daycare. And, of the MANY providers I know, not one has ever complained about this being an issue.

I could see this being an issue, if every single time a parent has an extra hour or two, they use every minute of it for themselves, but I am not seeing that with my families.

ProMom, you just keep doing what you're doing for your family....you ARE a great Mom, and I know that YOU have truly always had your dck best interests at heart.

[Crystal]

Your overexaggerations just go to show that you have NOT read this thread in it's entirety. NO ONE ever said you were a bad mom. NO ONE ever said that the occassional night away from the kiddos is bad. ACTUALLY, what I said was that when they are OLDER and can handle the separation, it;s much more acceptable. I highly doubt 12 and 17 is too young for an overnight away from mom and dad. How do you get that it's the same as a week away from a 12 month old or a 2 year old? Queen of mountain out of a mole hill!!

! I was being sarcastic - totally kidding, except they are going to be gone tonight

[Crystal]

thinking about your comment promom, the little jab at the end there saying "queen of making a mountain out of molehill" How exactly did I do that?

I am not the one making blanket statements. Molehill - some parents take days off and don't spend it with their kids Mountain: ALL parents take days off and don't spend one minute of it with their kids. mountain: ALL of my DCP who get 8 WEEKS of vacation time send their kids to daycare EVERY SINGLE ONE of those days. etc. etc. etc.

THOSE comments are making a mountain out of a molehill.

Your damn right I am going to speak up and defend parents when providers are LYING about parenting practices. Why do so many daycare providers feel the need to talk trash about the people who are providing them with a career? And why do those same providers think that THEY are the perfect parent and we should all just bend over and say, yeah, okay you're right. WHY can we not state our DIFFERENT opinion without US being the ones who are WRONG or MAKING A MOUNTAIN OUT OF A MOLEHILL. I stated my opinions, just like every other provider here....I didn't start the insinuations that someone here is a liar, etc.

And, I asked a question.....a quite simple one that has yet to be answered: If as a provider, you are so DISGUSTED with your dcf parenting practices, WHY do you continue to care for their children? In Judy's words "NEXT!"

My question was simply responded to with accusations that I am a liar.

[judytrickett]

Sweet Jesus...here we go again. YES...we do have super, duper, great, fantastic families. You have crappy ones which is evident by your posts. Again, if my families take a day off and send their kids to daycare to get some errands done (most have 2-4 kids) then so be it. As long as I get my money and am doing MY job then it's none of my business. It's no different than a teacher taking a personal day or whatnot. Do you want to take your kids to your OB appointment when you're up on a table legs spread open? You really want your 2 year old in the room for that? :confused:

Ah hah! See? That is the difference. YOU don't care if they take the day off and leave their kids in care. So, they DO do it!

Well, I DO care! I care, not for me, but for those kids. Yes, I care. Gasp.....

Oh and Crystal....yes, I DO have parents who actually have a combined 14 weeks off a year whose children spent FOUR years in my care and NEVER once had a day off with their parents. Really and truly. Sad, sad, sad.

Well, I'm going off for my long weekend now. I can't be bothered to bang my head against the wall anymore "talking" to those who have sunshine and rainbows shooting out their asses without a shred of reality.

Good God!

Of course, your fragile egos will assume you "won". Whatever.

In the end it's the kids that lose because not enough people care to CARE about their problem - being dumped in daycare when it is not necessary. Congratulations - you just added to the problem.

[professionalmom]

thinking about your comment promom, the little jab at the end there saying "queen of making a mountain out of molehill" How exactly did I do that?

I am not the one making blanket statements. Molehill - some parents take days off and don't spend it with their kids Mountain: ALL parents take days off and don't spend one minute of it with their kids. mountain: ALL of my DCP who get 8 WEEKS of vacation time send their kids to daycare EVERY SINGLE ONE of those days. etc. etc. etc.

THOSE comments are making a mountain out of a molehill.

Your damn right I am going to speak up and defend parents when providers are LYING about parenting practices. Why do so many daycare providers feel the need to talk trash about the people who are providing them with a career? And why do those same providers think that THEY are the perfect parent and we should all just bend over and say, yeah, okay you're right. WHY can we not state our DIFFERENT opinion without US being the ones who are WRONG or MAKING A MOUNTAIN OUT OF A MOLEHILL. I stated my opinions, just like every other provider here....I didn't start the insinuations that someone here is a liar, etc.

And, I asked a question.....a quite simple one that has yet to be answered: If as a provider, you are so DISGUSTED with your dcf parenting practices, WHY do you continue to care for their children? In Judy's words "NEXT!"

My question was simply responded to with accusations that I am a liar.

The "mountain out of a molehill" comment was because we are daycare providers (at least I was until I had to shut down due to complications in my pregnancy), which means we are usually talking about babies, toddlers, and preschoolers. The question posed was regarding parents (I'm sorry I ASSUMED that to mean parents of young children - the kids we are involved with) taking long vacations without their children. To stretch that into meaning an overnight away for a 12 year old and a 17 year old is REALLY stretching the issue at hand. Once children start school, they are away from mom and dad for 6-8 hours a day, developing relationships outside the home, etc. So, that becomes a whole different issue (or non-issue, as I see it).

What worries me is this: the formative years (birth to kindergarten) are called "the formative years" for a reason - that is when most of the "person" and values will take hold. This is the most crucial time in a person's life. Trauma during this time will result in psychological manifestations that could, and often do, last a lifetime. During this time period in a child's life, (s)he NEEDS to be with the parents as much as possible. Every single child care course or book I have ever seen expresses this fact. There are studies after studies that state this. It is NOT about QUALITY time. It is about QUANTITY time. So, it is very, very, very, very sad when a parent who works outside the home for 40-50 hours a week turns around and takes EVEN MORE time away from that child. What always gets my goat is when people talk about the parent's rights or needs. I believe that the child's rights and needs MUST come first. Yes, parents WANT a break. But the child NEEDS to be with the parent during these first 5 years. The children NEED for the parents to "get it" that the parent's wants and desires sometimes need to be put on hold during the child's formative years. I know, IT'S 5 YEARS!!!! But that's my point - it's ONLY 5 years. In a lifetime of at least 60-90 years, it truly is a small sacrifice for the sake of our babies - our most precious resource we have in this entire world. I don't understand how anyone could defend a parent being away from his or her child for 50+ hours a week, PLUS weekend nights to go out drinking and dating, PLUS a couple week-long vacations a year.

I guess I had an angel for a mom. She and my dad divorced when I was 18 mths. She worked nights, slept when I napped or after I went to bed, and spent every possible moment with me, taking care of me. She went out for "me time" ONLY after I went to bed. I had to have been 5 or 6 before I even realized my mom had a job. And she never would have taken a vacation from me. She missed me like crazy when she was at work, so a vacation to her was spending time with me. She also never took sick time for her own illnesses. She used her sick time for when I was sick, so she could be the one home taking care of me. I guess I'm biased because of how I was raised. By the time I entered kindergarten, I was thrilled to go on this new adventure. It wasn't scary for me, because I already had a secure attachment to mom and knew that no matter what happened, she would be there for me. So I was ready to venture out into the world without fear, because I knew I had a safety net called mom. Sadly, many kids today do not have that type of security because they are not being given the proper TIME needed to develop that bond.

[actaktmdt]

I will post comments later but I'm right with you emosks.