Am I Morally Or Legally Obligated?

[EchoMom]

I agree, this is disgusting and I really wish a mod would end it and tell Nan to knock it off. It really shouldn't be tolerated IMO.

I don't agree with everything that Froggy says and question some of her decisions and statements too. But I think your attitude Nan is atrocious. Either you truly don't understand how nasty you're being, in which case please take the feedback you're hearing as a cue to develop your social ettiquete. Or, you really are trying to be hurtful and superior and doing a poor job of hiding it.

It's all I can do to bite my tongue and not start saying what I really think about this so called "expert... daycare whisperer..."

However, Nan, I do agree that nursing during an interview is for shock value and totally uneccessary. I exclusively BF my son, never had a drop of formula, and never took a single bottle. But I certainly managed my time well enough to nurse before and after an interview. To say that a baby can't make it through a 30 min interview, even an hour interview, is ludicrous. And an older child especially can wait. And to nurse at every single interview is obsurd. And there are other ways a baby/toddler/child can be comforted if they're nervous during an interview.

But the fact that you keep pushing and pushing and pushing the issue, my goodness, move on!

I also don't like the full frontal no modesty nursing. To me nursing is a special thing, not a dirty thing, but a special thing, it's intimate (not sexually, but emotionally).

[just_peachy]

It doesn't matter what the OP replies. Unless she concedes, you won't be satisfied. You have different views on the matter, that should be enough of a reason to drop it. No one is changing anyone's minds. And it IS personal, because to all of the above, my reply would be "so what."

It sounds like it's time for a heart-to-heart with your aunt or cousin or whoever traumatized you... er... your son so much at Thanksgiving, because this "kicking the cat" method of resolution is going nowhere.

[bunnyslippers]

I am so disappointed to see this argument playing out. I respect all of you, and I feel sad that this has taken such a turn.

[nannyde]

It doesn't matter what the OP replies. Unless she concedes, you won't be satisfied. You have different views on the matter, that should be enough of a reason to drop it. No one is changing anyone's minds. And it IS personal, because to all of the above, my reply would be "so what."

It sounds like it's time for a heart-to-heart with your aunt or cousin or whoever traumatized you... er... your son so much at Thanksgiving, because this "kicking the cat" method of resolution is going nowhere.

I don't want concession. I want to GET it and I don't.

I want to understand HOW we got to this point. I want to know where the line is.

Is the line nutrition?

Is the line the rights of one over the other?

Is there a medium... a way that most can be served... the greater good. Can you get breastfeeding education and acceptance without the IN YOUR FACE?

If the only way to get there is IN YOUR FACE then you can expect IN YOUR FACE response. You can expect that every point you make will be throughly vetted. I'm vetting nutrition in this thread. I'm vetting extended breast feeding. I'm vetting the extremes.

It's not personal. It's deep for sure... but not personal.

We all have told our personal stories to make our point and consistently with my position I have been told to educate my son. I need an education first.

[just_peachy]

...if all you wanted an "education" the hostility would not be attached.

http://www.nursingfreedom.org/2010/08/why-children-should-witness.html

[Country Kids]

Wonderful sights/insights on bf in public (history in a way):

http://thederangedhousewifeonline.blogspot.com/2012/08/a-history-of-breastfeeding-in-public.html

http://jezebel.com/5129536/milky-way-the-long-strange-history-of-breastfeeding

http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/10678/1/The-Breastfeeding-in-Public-Debate.html

There are so many more out there. Just look up the History Of Breast Feeding-

[Meyou]

I'm actually interested in the answer from a personal perspective. I had complications with one pregnancy that required heavy narcotic use and I wasn't able to breastfeed afterwards because of it. I was also delivered 4 weeks early. I haven't had more children because of this complication and the narcotics involved so if there is a safer alternative I would love to hear about it.

Feel free to PM me OP if you want.

[youretooloud]

...unbelievable. This is a personal attack thinly disguised as "curiosity" or "concern." I can't believe this is allowed to go on.

Absolutely.. I keep reading and wondering "Where's the lock?".

[Crystal]

While there are often times that I do not agree with Nan, I have to say, this time I do. The OP has vehemently defended her position as an AP practicing, extended breastfeeding champion. Therefore, by doing so, she opens herself up to questioning when she posts about being heavily medicated on a daily basis. Whether or not an old thread should have been pulled up in order to discuss it is questionable, but, honestly, if you are going to be an "in your face" breastfeeder, then you should be prepared to defend yourself when questioned about the "probability" that narcotics are being passed to your children through your breastmilk. ESPECIALLY when you state that your sole purpose for breastfeeding is about your child's nutrition......if that's truly the case, then the OP would recognize that it would be BETTER nutrition, especially for her 3 year old, to be on a different "diet". Even the OP, in her most recent response, details the difference in her older children's development "pre-medicated" and her younger children's development after beginning her pain med schedule. There is a CLEAR difference, from what I read above, so WHY would one continue breastfeeding well into the third year of life if one KNOWS there have been significant differences in the development of the children????

The OP shared the info about the narcotics, therefore, I think it is fair game that Nan asked her about it.

[just_peachy]

Wonderful sights/insights on bf in public (history in a way):

http://thederangedhousewifeonline.blogspot.com/2012/08/a-history-of-breastfeeding-in-public.html

http://jezebel.com/5129536/milky-way-the-long-strange-history-of-breastfeeding

http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/10678/1/The-Breastfeeding-in-Public-Debate.html

There are so many more out there. Just look up the History Of Breast Feeding-

I once read a story about a gorilla in captivity who had a baby and trampled it to death, after dealing with its "crying" over hunger.

The keepers realized that the mom gorilla had never learned how to nurse. They got her pregnant again (which I have a moral dilemma with, but still...)

This time they brought in nursing women every day to sit in front of the glass and just nurse. They sat there and nursed, that's it.

Lo and behold, when the gorilla had her second baby, she put it to her breast immediately, and all was well.

While nursing is "natural," it's also a learned behavior, biologically.

[littlemissmuffet]

I think both Nan and Frogs have an air about them that they think their way is best and that's the end of it. The reality is, they both make great points and they both do what is best for themselves, their children, their families and their businesses - just as all of us do - and need to agree to disagree.

I do many things that would probably horrify many (if not all) of the posters on here. The difference is, I don't talk about these things because I know I would get flamed. :: There IS a big difference between educating people and just having a down right know-it-all attitude. There is also a difference between being curious and just being down right facetious. I think we're seeing both of these behaviors from both of these women.

[Country Kids]

I'm actually interested in the answer from a personal perspective. I had complications with one pregnancy that required heavy narcotic use and I wasn't able to breastfeed afterwards because of it. I was also delivered 4 weeks early. I haven't had more children because of this complication and the narcotics involved so if there is a safer alternative I would love to hear about it.

Feel free to PM me OP if you want.

I had a C-section with one of mine and that was the one baby that wouldn't nurse for anything. At 8 weeks I think they finally said to bottle feed because the baby was losing weight, not chunking up, and I was seriously nursing about every 1.5 hours even with supplimenting with a 2 oz bottle. I looked like one of the "Walking Dead" because of lack of sleep.

With the same baby I developed an infection from not all the placenta being removed. Talk about painful and once again more pain meds followed. This is all while I'm trying to nurse.

I 20 years later still say the baby wouldn't nurse because of all the medication I had right away and then having to have more because of the infection.

My baby was also born 3 weeks early.

[youretooloud]

While there are often times that I do not agree with Nan, I have to say, this time I do. The OP has vehemently defended her position as an AP practicing, extended breastfeeding champion. Therefore, by doing so, she opens herself up to questioning when she posts about being heavily medicated on a daily basis.

The point is, she drug up an old post, in order to make HER point. It's like bringing up an argument you had with your spouse or family member two years later, when that old argument has nothing to do with what's happening now.

She SHOULD have posted a new subject arguing her point about breast feeding.

I am not completely disagreeing with either side....but, THIS is tacky, and weird.

[just_peachy]

I think both Nan and Frogs have an air about them that they think their way is best and that's the end of it. The reality is, they both make great points and they both do what is best for themselves, their children, their families and their businesses - just as all of us do - and need to agree to disagree.

I do many things that would probably horrify many (if not all) of the posters on here. The difference is, I don't talk about these things because I know I would get flamed. :: There IS a big difference between educating people and just having a down right know-it-all attitude. There is also a difference between being curious and just being down right facetious. I think we're seeing both of these behaviors from both of these women.

I agree, whole heartedly! But in this little game, there is clearly a player playing offense and a player playing defense.

[Blackcat31]

The point is, she drug up an old post, in order to make HER point. It's like bringing up an argument you had with your spouse or family member two years later, when that old argument has nothing to do with what's happening now.

She SHOULD have posted a new subject arguing her point about breast feeding.

I am not completely disagreeing with either side....but, THIS is tacky, and weird.

NEITHER Nan or Frogs has complained to a mod/admin about feeling offended or insulted or have asked for the thread to be closed.

I think since there ARE others here who want to be educated about one side or the other, then the conversation should continue as is.

When people start to automatically move away from anything heated, then everyone becomes a loser as no more information can be shared and that's sad.

Also, the minute Nan started a separate thread to discuss/debate this topic further, someone would have called that mean or insulting. Continuing a conversation within a thread that ignited the question in the first place was fine in my opinion.

I agree, whole heartedly! But in this little game, there is clearly a player playing offense and a player playing defense.

YOU may view it that way, but again, neither Nan or Frogs has contacted a mod or Admin to complain about the situation.

Neither Nan or Frogs has asked for the thread(s) to be closed or locked.