Am I Morally Or Legally Obligated?

[frgsonmysox]

I have a genetic defect called Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. It does cause some physical issues (joint dislocations, breaking of skin, massive amounts of pain). I live with it quite well. I have a few things I can no longer do, and I walk with a limp, but otherwise I've learned to overcome my disability. My wrists are fused (no mobility), and my elbow is permanently dislocated so it hangs at a 90 degree angle. My ankles tendon is no longer connected to the bone correctly so it causes me to walk with a limp. I am currently pregnant with my 5th child, so even with my issues I don't let them hinder my ability to be the best mom I can.

Because of the massive pain I am in a pain clinic. I take prescription narcotics on a controlled schedule, but I do take them daily around the clock. I don't act like someone on narcotics. I function completely normally. I've been on them for 3 years, and for someone with my disorder I'm actually on a low dosage (but high for the average person). I can drive fine, I can do everything normally.

Am I morally or legally obligated to tell my parents that I have to take narcotics? I worry that they'll think I'm stoned, when its really no different than someone taking allergy medication or any other medication they have to take to function normally.

[Heidi]

If you would like to tell them anything, you might simply tell them that you have a medical condition that is controlled by medication. They do not need to know details. If it does not affect your ability to do your job, then it is your business.

Of course, you should have good emergency back up, just incase something goes wrong (a medication side effect, for instance?), and of course, the medications need to be super-safely stored. But, as a mother of 4+1, I am sure you have that covered.

[cheerfuldom]

Why would they think you are stoned?

If you are fully capable, physically and mentally, of doing your job then why is it an issue? I assume you have to have some answer if they wonder about your limp or other visible disability but other than a direct question, I would not think you are obligated to offer up details on your condition.

[frgsonmysox]

My husband feels I should tell them I have to take narcotics on a schedule, and I don't want them to think that narcotic usage means I'm perpetually stoned.

Having a back up is a good idea. I think telling them I'm on medication but not divulging what kind may be a good compromise.

[Unregistered]

You may want to check with your licensing rules before you decide to open a daycare.
Some states require you to have a signed medical release that says you are medically able to care for children. You will have to divulge all your medical information to the state when you are getting licensed. I don't know if they can discriminate against your disability but you may want to check into it a little more. Sorry you have to deal with so much pain. It sounds like a lot to deal with.Take care of yourself.

[Kaddidle Care]

I would check with licensing to see what you are required to disclose.

[frgsonmysox]

With licensing I just have to have a physical done to ensure I'm healthy enough to care for children. The only caveat I found was it says I cannot consume any controlled substances during working hours. Since mine is a prescription that is closely monitored I'm not sure if it qualifies. I'm not taking it for the kicks.

I don't have to become licensed unless I take on more than 3 kids, and I only plan to take 3 for a while because I'll have 3 out of 5 of mine at home with me all day. I do plan to become licensed within a year of operating though.

[Ariana]

I wouldn't disclose that I use "narcotics" (it makes it sound illegal!!), I would just disclose that I have a condition which creates pain and mobility issues and it is controlled through medication. As a parent I would want to know.

[Kaddidle Care]

This exactly. I'm afraid it may deter some people but you would be upfront from the very beginning.

I have to admit that drugs of any kind scare me when it comes to caring for children. I found out a very good friend of mine who had watched my son one time was on heavy duty medication for anxiety, depression and OCD. I just thought she wasn't the brightest person in the world but she has a heart of gold.

Once I found out though, I never asked her to babysit again. We are still very good, close friends but I would never tell her that I was afraid to leave her with my boy.

When her meds are right, she's great but when they are off, she's off... her rocker.

I think some people will not take on your services. Others will see what a wonderful Mom you are and welcome you with open arms.

[MyAngels]

With licensing I just have to have a physical done to ensure I'm healthy enough to care for children. The only caveat I found was it says I cannot consume any controlled substances during working hours. Since mine is a prescription that is closely monitored I'm not sure if it qualifies. I'm not taking it for the kicks.

I don't have to become licensed unless I take on more than 3 kids, and I only plan to take 3 for a while because I'll have 3 out of 5 of mine at home with me all day. I do plan to become licensed within a year of operating though.

You need to check out whether the drug(s) you are taking are listed on the Controlled Substances Act. That will help you determine whether it will be a problem with licensing and whether you should disclose to potential families that you are taking it.

[Meyou]

As long as it's ok with licensing then I don't think you're obligated to tell families about your pain meds. I do think you're obligated to tell them about your condition however since there is a possibility it could affect the care you can offer.

[Solandia]

I would not disclose medical issues with my dcparents, mine or my kids or my daycare kids. If it is okay with the state for licensing, and your doctor, then it is no one's business. If the kids' care is compromised in some way by your condition, then you should not be doing childcare at all. It is nit the same as being fit to care for your own children.... There is a much higher standard of care and liability.

But, I do not feel there is a moral or legal responsibilty to disclose, because it works both ways. The parents are not required to tell you about anything their children may have. For example, if my foster son was HIV+, I would not be allowed to disclose that info to the daycare or school.

[Meeko]

I would not disclose medical issues with my dcparents, mine or my kids or my daycare kids. If it is okay with the state for licensing, and your doctor, then it is no one's business. If the kids' care is compromised in some way by your condition, then you should not be doing childcare at all. It is nit the same as being fit to care for your own children.... There is a much higher standard of care and liability.

But, I do not feel there is a moral or legal responsibilty to disclose, because it works both ways. The parents are not required to tell you about anything their children may have. For example, if my foster son was HIV+, I would not be allowed to disclose that info to the daycare or school.

I agree. If licensing and your doctor see no reason for you to not do child care, then the parents do not need to know your personal business.

Any one of us may have a child in care who is HIV+. We have no way of knowing because the parents don't have to tell us.

The privacy goes both ways.

[nannyde]

I have a genetic defect called Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. It does cause some physical issues (joint dislocations, breaking of skin, massive amounts of pain). I live with it quite well. I have a few things I can no longer do, and I walk with a limp, but otherwise I've learned to overcome my disability. My wrists are fused (no mobility), and my elbow is permanently dislocated so it hangs at a 90 degree angle. My ankles tendon is no longer connected to the bone correctly so it causes me to walk with a limp. I am currently pregnant with my 5th child, so even with my issues I don't let them hinder my ability to be the best mom I can.

Because of the massive pain I am in a pain clinic. I take prescription narcotics on a controlled schedule, but I do take them daily around the clock. I don't act like someone on narcotics. I function completely normally. I've been on them for 3 years, and for someone with my disorder I'm actually on a low dosage (but high for the average person). I can drive fine, I can do everything normally.

Am I morally or legally obligated to tell my parents that I have to take narcotics? I worry that they'll think I'm stoned, when its really no different than someone taking allergy medication or any other medication they have to take to function normally.

I was wondering how the narcotics you spoke of taking during two pregnancies and non stop breastfeeding affect infant growth in utero and breastmilk?

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Why would they think you are stoned?

If you are fully capable, physically and mentally, of doing your job then why is it an issue? I assume you have to have some answer if they wonder about your limp or other visible disability but other than a direct question, I would not think you are obligated to offer up details on your condition.

I agree!