This Forum Turns Me Off Of Daycare...

[Blackcat31]

Please keep in mind (original poster) that we all live in different communities and have different clientele. So the people that you know as parents are sometimes not our clientele. In the large centre I work in there are 10 great parents in my class. There are six parents however that are making me jaded and angry. Parents that are off three days a week and still have their children in care for 10-12 hours, because the parent "needs a break" so they leave them at the door sobbing hysterically without taking ten minutes to settle them.

Parents who bring children in sick and lie about having given them meds because they have a hair appointment, three hours later the child is vomiting up said medicine.

Parents who need to work out for 9 hours a day (apprently) so they can't be bothered to pack warm enough clothing, or cool enough clothing or any clothing for their potty training child. I have left notes on cubbies 5 days running to still have parents not bring in clothing for their child. They bring them in in shorts and a tshirt on COLD days. The parent is bundled up nice and warm, but junior doesn't deserve a warm sweater? It's so incredibly sad. These are well off familes that don't seem to give a hoot about the comfort or happiness of their children. When it happens once a month it's one thing, when it's daily for months on end it starts to make the provider more greatful for the loving parents and more FURIOUS at the disrespect thrown at care providers and child.

Yes it's disrespect. I'm telling these parents what I NEED from them to do my job and they don't provide it over and over, day after day. Not once, not twice but all.the.time. It's not cool at all.

What about parents that sleep in till 11 then bring their sleepy kids in, unfed unchanged and "oh can she stay awake, we just got up." No respect at all for the fact that their child is just grearing up to play and is UBER disappointed because everyone else has already wound up and wound down for the day. Guess what? the rest of the kids will be sleeping for two hours and this daycare that you LOVE for the social learning your child does is now just babysitting and your child has been yet again LEFT OUT of the play and learning. They now get to sit alone for two hours waiting for the other kids to wake up. Again, once or twice is one thing, but a couple times a week is irritating and RUDE.

Then lets talk about parents that you tell the rules 100 million times and they just keep stepping on your toes. For example, "Please let us know by ten if your child isn't coming in". I have said that to two families EVERY WEEK for the past four months, but it's still just obviously too hard to use one of their I phones for a PHONE CALL.

NEWSFLASH Daycare is your child's WORK. It's hard work. They love it, but it's exhausting and dirty and sometimes their best buddy bashes them over the head. But it's their work. So when I have a day off 99% of the time so do my kids, because my kids are 4 years and 20 months old. My kids should NEVER have to work harder than I do so if I deserve a rest, then they deserve it more.

The thing is that we see some parents show constant disrespect for us and casual disregard for their children. We're not judgmental.. we've just had some parents convincing us for YEARS that they don't put their kids first. Group daycare in my opinion is great for most kids, but just like any adult kids get burnt out and they need certain tools in order to be successful. Tools like rest periods, the occasional holiday, sick leave, and someone to tell them they've done a good job. So many parents though, only see what THEY need, not what their kids need in order to be successful, both socially and emotionally. If any of this offends you, then you're one of insensitive parents who just doesn't
"get it."

How does her questions, opinions and thoughts about what we as members are portraying on this site make her one of the insensitive parent who does not get it? This comment confused me? :confused:

[Unregistered]

turned off too...

This forum has just about killed my desire to provide OR consume daycare services. No only did the OP state the obvious, but the degree of dishonesty on both sides is horrendous. I would never have a client in any business that I could not call a friend first. And, I think it is also sad how quickly the forum moved to attack her.

[nannyde]

This forum has just about killed my desire to provide OR consume daycare services. No only did the OP state the obvious, but the degree of dishonesty on both sides is horrendous. I would never have a client in any business that I could not call a friend first. And, I think it is also sad how quickly the forum moved to attack her.

I think your post is good for the business. I'm happy to see now that there are parents out there who actually READ the words of providers and learn whether or not they can manage the relationship. I think it's great for potential day care providers to READ the words of providers and get an inkling of what they could be up against... with great parents all the way down to completly dysfunctional and disrepectful parents.

It's a GOOD thing that this about killed your desire to consume or provide services. It means you are one of the few that understand how complicated this relationship is and know yourself and what you want and know you aren't up for it. The ones that know they can't manage it stay home with their kid which is an AWESOME thing... or have family/friends do the care... which is second most AWESOME.

I would have clients I could not call a friend first. I don't mind working for people who wouldn't match as a good friend but make awesome day care parents.

Yours is one of the better unregistered posts I have read in a long time. It means you are starting to GET it. You don't like it... but knowing you don't like it means you are starting to GET it. That's a leap in the right direction from where I sit.

You are not going to end up being an unhappy dc parent or an unhappy provider. That's a GOOD thing.

[Cat Herder]

I think your post is good for the business.

You don't like it... but knowing you don't like it means you are starting to GET it. That's a leap in the right direction from where I sit.

You are not going to end up being an unhappy dc parent or an unhappy provider. That's a GOOD thing.

I agree.

I often send friends, family and co-workers to www.daycaresdontcare.org to learn about the industry before deciding their childcare plan. (check out the "what providers say" section. The forum goes backwards...page 1 will be the oldest post, the last page is current...)

When I first started coming here a couple years ago (lurking) there was so much fluff, IMHO, that it really was not helpful to me. Now there seems to be a lot more people willing to be honest with their frustrations, hurt feelings and resentments. I now send them here as well.

This field is not for everyone. If you can't stand up for yourself you will be eaten alive. I now have a great program with clients and kids I adore. I love my job....but had I caved to the unrealistic expectations of every family demanding "one on one" care in a group setting for $1 an hour I would have gotten out of this field years ago.

I wish every parent that wanted to stay home could. THAT would be my ultimate goal.

[Unregistered]

agree w/unregistereds & OP

I, too, agree with all of the unregistereds and OP. I've been saying this for years, that because of this forum, I would never hire a home daycare and I try to convince my friends never to choose one either. Every one I know that did choose one had nothing but problems and were virtually problem free with a center by comparison. There's way more I could say, but it's not worth it. I'm glad I found this site, because it confirms exactly what I'd been thinking about home daycares from the beginning and how they think and operate. I feel sorry for those poor parents and kids who have no idea that their providers post here - I highly doubt they've revealved their involvement in their contracts.

[Kaddidle Care]

I wish I could find a robot staff assistant that could manage a juice box.

This made me spit my coffee. I remember when I first started working in a Daycare and those ruddy Minute Maid pouches.

[nannyde]

I, too, agree with all of the unregistereds and OP. I've been saying this for years, that because of this forum, I would never hire a home daycare and I try to convince my friends never to choose one either. Every one I know that did choose one had nothing but problems and were virtually problem free with a center by comparison. There's way more I could say, but it's not worth it. I'm glad I found this site, because it confirms exactly what I'd been thinking about home daycares from the beginning and how they think and operate. I feel sorry for those poor parents and kids who have no idea that their providers post here - I highly doubt they've revealved their involvement in their contracts.

Another great unregistered post!!!!!!!

Now that you know how we operate you know it won't work for you. That way we don't have yet another provider coming on trying to work out the "nothing but problems" you bring into the business because you don't understand or refuse to be compliant with our policies.

[pinkbunny85]

I highly doubt they've revealved their involvement in their contracts.

I lurk most of the time because I am neither a provider or a parent at this point. I'm still going to school so I may become a provider. I rarely post, but I read everyday. I have read almost every post. Granted, when I first started reading I was shocked. But if you continue reading you start understanding how people are. They are giving good advice without sugar coating (ex. Nannyde, sorry Nanny). If/when I become a provider I would love be like nanny. Also after reading you realize who has been doing this for years and who has only been doing it a short time.

And for the reason I quoted. Not that I want to start anything but, I'm wondering why would a provider have to let dcps know what they're doing in their spare time. DCPS don't have to let providers know so then why should providers.

[Unregistered]

I would LOVE for my child to go to an in home daycare, these women made a decision to do this! They WANT and LIKE to be around children. If I ever had to put my child in daycare, it would only be in an in home center. In a chain daycare, most of the time (not always) the workers don't stay very long, aren't very interested in the children, its just a job to get through bills or school, and kids hardly get any attention at all. I've been reading these posts for a while and I highly doubt any of these women would neglect any child, or not show them attention. If I ever had to have my child be in a daycare, I would hope my childcare provider was as honest and caring as the women on this forum is.

[Blackcat31]

I lurk most of the time because I am neither a provider or a parent at this point. I'm still going to school so I may become a provider. I rarely post, but I read everyday. I have read almost every post. Granted, when I first started reading I was shocked. But if you continue reading you start understanding how people are. They are giving good advice without sugar coating (ex. Nannyde, sorry Nanny). If/when I become a provider I would love be like nanny. Also after reading you realize who has been doing this for years and who has only been doing it a short time.

And for the reason I quoted. Not that I want to start anything but, I'm wondering why would a provider have to let dcps know what they're doing in their spare time. DCPS don't have to let providers know so then why should providers.

Excellent post pinkbunny85! You said that all so very well. There is no way some one can read a few sentences or posts and come to realistic idea about who any of us are and how we run our businesses or parent our children. It is exactly like you said in that we need to read many mnay posts and over a great deal of time to even get a partial picture of how each member feels, thinks and operates.

I hope you become a provider because you seem to have that "understanding" already forming in your thought process and that is what will make you a great provider!!

I would LOVE for my child to go to an in home daycare, these women made a decision to do this! They WANT and LIKE to be around children. If I ever had to put my child in daycare, it would only be in an in home center. In a chain daycare, most of the time (not always) the workers don't stay very long, aren't very interested in the children, its just a job to get through bills or school, and kids hardly get any attention at all. I've been reading these posts for a while and I highly doubt any of these women would neglect any child, or not show them attention. If I ever had to have my child be in a daycare, I would hope my childcare provider was as honest and caring as the women on this forum is.

Awww, too sweet!! Yes, I chose this career (my own children are grown and gone) and yet I am still in business and have no plans of quitting any time soon. I WANT to get up and go to work each and every day. (Well, Monday through Friday anyways..) I am guilty of writing a vent or negative post, like any other member but I guarantee you it is because I genuinely care for my daycare children and when I think they aren't getting the best life has to offer from anyone (parents included) I get upset. It is hard not to be emotionally invested in the kids I care for.

Thank you for seeing that in this forum and the members and although not all of us see eye to eye about things, I know for a fact that every single one of us loves the children (and the job) or we wouldn't be doing this. I am sure there are easier ways to be disrespected, be under paid, work long hours, be exposed to tons of "icky" bodily fluids and germs, and generally work our bodies and brains to their limits but none of them include hugs and kisses from the little people we care for every day and THAT is really what matters when it all comes down to the nitty gritty.

Thank you for the nice post.

[Unregistered]

So funny

I totally agree with the OP. I would NEVER put my child in an in-home daycare after reading this forum for the better part of 6 months now. I actually steer people over to this forum to read up on what their daycare provider is REALLY like and how they REALLY think of them.
At least in a group situation I know there are other adults there in case one person gets burnt out, too stressed, etc. I hope eventually in home daycares with just one provider are phased out. It's just not a good situation.
For some reason, it seems like a lot of the providers on here have A LOT of time on their hands to post and argue and complain on here. You all have formed my opinon daycare for the worse.

Just a word of advice: Maybe getting out amongst other adults would quell the judgement/pettiness/jealousy you feel towards parents who work outside the home and come to you for care of their children. If you actually feel the way some of you do while caring for children, I feel sorry for them and you.

I think the reality is these posts have hit home for you, I'm thinking you can relate to the parents we are all discussing that make bad clients, and who probably shouldn't have had kids in the first place.

Also, I worked in the major chains before starting my own daycare; we use to cringe and talk about the parents that would have their child there from dusk to dawn. We also praised the good parents, but unfortuniately the centers seem to get the parents that couldn't handle their kids. And the teachers and aides come and go because of low pay, so its a revolving door for the children. But its the same thing... all the women talked about the exact same thing that is being said on this forum. Many of the new aides were amazed too at the amount of bad parenting out there, very sad.

[sharlan]

Will your center drive 40 miles (one way) to pick your children up at 10 PM while you're having a miscarriage?

Will your center keep your children overnight when you have surgery?

Will your center drive 40 miles, again one way, to pick your children up when you go into labor?

Will your center take your children camping for the weekend?

Will your center sit in the ER with you while the drs are struggling to get your child breathing again after an asthma attack?

Will your center treat your child as a loved and respected member of their family?

I doubt you will be able to answer yes to a single one of these questions.

There are some really good centers out there, some mediocre, and some really bad ones. The same thing goes for family daycares. I know some I wouldn't want watching my cat, let alone my kids. Personally, I am partial to home daycares because that's what I'm familiar with.

[laundrymom]

Hey,... What happened to chickenhauler????

[Unregistered]

I think it's weird most of day care providers act like parents who put their children in day care don't have hard jobs just beacuse they don't watch children all day. I go to work for 8 hours a day and then after I pick my son up my second job begins. Day care providers once the kids go home...you can run your errands without a whinning child after a long day at work...you can get your laundry done without my favorite helper unfolding it all before i finish...you can cook dinner without distraction. Now of course if you have young children of your own, maybe this doesn't apply to you, but then you should also know what it's like to work "2 jobs" (my day care provider has no children, and is always complaining how tired she is and how she doesn't want to work anymore...and I get the feeling alot of the providers I'm seeing on here complaining have older children that don't need as much tending to)...but I think it's low to talk about parents that have jobs because they need to provide for their children and act like just because I don't watch children all day my job doesn't matter or isn't just as hard. I would love to be able to stay home with my son all day...but unfortunatly I have bills, student loans, and my child needs clothes/food/diapers etc....so I don't have a choice.

[mismatchedsocks]

Will your center drive 40 miles (one way) to pick your children up at 10 PM while you're having a miscarriage?

Will your center keep your children overnight when you have surgery?

Will your center drive 40 miles, again one way, to pick your children up when you go into labor?

Will your center take your children camping for the weekend?

Will your center sit in the ER with you while the drs are struggling to get your child breathing again after an asthma attack?

Will your center treat your child as a loved and respected member of their family?

I doubt you will be able to answer yes to a single one of these questions.

There are some really good centers out there, some mediocre, and some really bad ones. The same thing goes for family daycares. I know some I wouldn't want watching my cat, let alone my kids. Personally, I am partial to home daycares because that's what I'm familiar with.

Great post, may I add?
Will your center take your kids on your wedding night so you can have a night to enjoy without worrying about your kids?

Will your center open 30 minutes early so you can get overtime?

Will your center send you picture messages or texts throughout the day to let you know how your child is doing?

Will your center offer family dinners, and give raffle prizes that are individual to each child?

Will your center dress your child once in a while for ballet if you are running late, complete with pink poofy hair things and pig tails?

Will your center help you move ALL day Saturday?

Then after all day moving...will your center keep your kids so you can unpack with your husband and get house in order?

Will your center give you hand me down clothes from their kids, or give them snacks to take in the car if you will be driving for a few hours?

Will your center go to Christmas programs of past children?