Biting @ Daycare

[Unregistered]

I am very concerned about a situation at a licensed daycare center. What is the policy on handling a child who is biting other children multiple times daily? The child I am concerned about has been bitten multiple times daily, breaking the skin and bruising on 9 days in a short period of time by the same child. He is not the only child @ the day care who is being bitten. Also, the aggressive child who does the biting is also kicking other children. When I talked to the staff they said there was nothing they could do. I believe this is a staffing issue. It has become such an issue that I have filed a report with Department of Social Services. What information can you give me? Where do I find this information?

i didn't read the whole thread - i'm only responding to this.

i have a degree in early childhood development so i know that biting is developmentally appropriate. i've also worked in daycares where children bit, and i've had my own children in daycare where they were bitten.

while i KNOW that biting is developmentally appropriate, my son was being bitten to the point that i threatened to pull him out of daycare. he had 2-3 incident reports EVERY day. it got to where he would cry when i dropped him off after the biting started. it was the same child every day who bit him, and only him.

while biting is normal, excessive biting and targeting a particular child is NOT normal! if your child is getting bitten on a regular basis (daily or more than once daily) then i reccomend doing what i did:

i told the director i was going to withdrawal my son. i told her she would lose a child either way, whether it be the biter or the victim - but i thought making the victim leave was unfair if it came down to that. she came up with a solution - since the biter was almost ready to move up to the 2 year old classroom, she offered to go ahead and move her a little early if i would stay. i agreed. when the girl got moved up, the biting stopped! all of the kids in her new classroom were older and she didn't dare bite them!

i would reccomend having a bottom line: either you move my child, the other child, or i'm leaving!

it WILL work!

[Unregistered]

I feel sorry for whoever uses your daycare. I have 3 boys the first 2 never bit but did get bitten-I did not like it but understood that it was part of their growing and learning process. It was resolved with time. Now my 3rd has just changed to a new daycare and has bitten 3 times. They have the same policy and said that one more time and he could not come back. Let me tell you this he is a good little boy and we just withdrew him and are going somewhere where the people are willing to help him and work with him/us to resolve this problem. He has never bitten before and it is a shame that he had a hard time adjusting and was just given up on. so you don't know every situation and each child is different. from someone who has been on both sides of this you should be ashamed of yourself. these are little children that need help and correction not to just be dismissed like a bad dog. They are all little children of god and he loves each one the same. Some just need more work. Good thing he doesn't give up on us so fast hu!!

No, the child who is causing injury to the rest of the group needs to go!! The safefty of the group is more important than the needs of one child.

[Unregistered]

i didn't read the whole thread - i'm only responding to this.

i have a degree in early childhood development so i know that biting is developmentally appropriate. i've also worked in daycares where children bit, and i've had my own children in daycare where they were bitten.

while i KNOW that biting is developmentally appropriate, my son was being bitten to the point that i threatened to pull him out of daycare. he had 2-3 incident reports EVERY day. it got to where he would cry when i dropped him off after the biting started. it was the same child every day who bit him, and only him.

while biting is normal, excessive biting and targeting a particular child is NOT normal! if your child is getting bitten on a regular basis (daily or more than once daily) then i reccomend doing what i did:

i told the director i was going to withdrawal my son. i told her she would lose a child either way, whether it be the biter or the victim - but i thought making the victim leave was unfair if it came down to that. she came up with a solution - since the biter was almost ready to move up to the 2 year old classroom, she offered to go ahead and move her a little early if i would stay. i agreed. when the girl got moved up, the biting stopped! all of the kids in her new classroom were older and she didn't dare bite them!

i would reccomend having a bottom line: either you move my child, the other child, or i'm leaving!

it WILL work!

I just did the same thing! But then what in 3 months when my son should move up? There is a biting problem in the 2 year old room and their policy is pretty much to just ride it out. I'm not ok with a child be given weeks to chew on other kids.

[Unregistered]

Bites at Daycare

My son who just turned 3 this month goes to a good daycare I think but Friday he got biten the 2nd time by the same kid. Now this time was it was on the middle of his back and much worse then before.I'm talking black and blue now and teeth marks top and bottom with broken skin. I am very upset that this happened and I think the child should be removed because he does nothing but bully other kids. Am I wrong to tell the daycare that when He goes back tuesday? I just don't want it to happen again because I know I won't be nice the 3rd time around. My son said his back hurt and that the kid was mean and he didn't want to play with him. Why didn't they keep them apart?

[Talena]

to tell the truth

Alot of times if a child is biting that much is because the worker is not watching the children the are to busy talking to there friends instead of taking care of the children. That happened when my son was in daycare, he would come home almost everyday with a bit mark on him and they would stay almost two weeks. Come to find out they were being left alone with no teacher in there and my son is was only 12 months old.

[Unregistered]

sometimes the its not the biter who is the aggressive one

I've spent a lot of time watching my son interact with other children. (he is 18 months).

I have stopped him from biting 2 times total and he has bitten 1 time at DC.

He has an interesting temperment. He basically seems to have no fear of bigger children. If they try to take his toys or move him out of the way he almost never loses, no matter how big the other kid is. Smaller children he basically leaves alone, and he never goes out of his way to take things from others.

In all 3 biting incidents. It has been the case that he was provoked by a bigger child. The child he bit a day care previously scratched him across the face drawing blood. Both times they were in an altercation over a toy (my son had the toy and the other baby wanted it).

I havn't seen anyone say it yet, but I would bet that often its the child who was bitten that was the aggressor. I would think this is especially true if your child is the only one who is being bitten.

[Janet]

Biting

It stinks, but it is a part of the daycare experience. I've been very lucky with the whole biting situation. I currently have no biters and I've only had biting incidents a total of 3 times in 6 years and none of them were major. I find that making sure that the kids know that I have my eyes on them is helpful. They think that I REALLY have eyes in the back of my head. It's funny when they look for them!

[Robinssong37]

Biting

Wow.... As a parent some of the things you where told by teachers anger me. As a teacher for 20 yrs. A Preschool Teacher at that! I have been biten , hit, etc. I just left a job due to the fact that the owners and management would not follow thru on procedures when it came to certian Children in our Center. I could no longer be a part of what was taking place. It is so unfair to the victim of the biter no matter what the reason... Your child should be safe from harm no matter what. I as a teacher was still limited as to what I could do from the classroom. I have opened my own Child Care Center. We have Zero tolerence for biters.... If you bit you must go home. If it continues the child is un-enrolled for our school. I have seen alot of things in the 20 yrs that I have been teaching and the only way to make things work and keep everyone safe is to make it known that you as parents have rights and that the kids above all have rights... I encourage you to stay on top of things when it comes to your child(ren). No Matter where they go to School. I have seen to many coners cut at the expense of our Children.

[jen]

It stinks, but it is a part of the daycare experience. I've been very lucky with the whole biting situation. I currently have no biters and I've only had biting incidents a total of 3 times in 6 years and none of them were major. I find that making sure that the kids know that I have my eyes on them is helpful. They think that I REALLY have eyes in the back of my head. It's funny when they look for them!

Yep, biting stinks but it happens to the best of us!

[Unregistered]

Stay Awhile..... Before Judging

Not all biting incidents occur because a teacher or 'worker' is not watching the children. How do you know that all teachers are 'talking to their friends' when this occurs? Your statement is a generalized blanket, and could not be further from the truth.

Alot of times if a child is biting that much is because the worker is not watching the children the are to busy talking to there friends instead of taking care of the children. That happened when my son was in daycare, he would come home almost everyday with a bit mark on him and they would stay almost two weeks. Come to find out they were being left alone with no teacher in there and my son is was only 12 months old.

[emosks]

Not all biting incidents occur because a teacher or 'worker' is not watching the children. How do you know that all teachers are 'talking to their friends' when this occurs? Your statement is a generalized blanket, and could not be further from the truth.

Our biter here does it right in front of us. So fast that sometimes you can't get their name out and it's over.

[Unregistered]

Could this be me?

I have read this entire thread, thank you for your thoughts. I come from a different perspective. I'm a lead teacher in a room with a child who bites. She is almost 18 months old and has been biting for 6 months now. She bites several times a day, some children getting bitten 3+ times in one day, let alone a week. Other parents are upset, obviously and rightfully so. We are staying at ratio (1 staff to 4 kids) and no matter how much we watch her, she still bites someone. Just the turn of a head is all it takes. She will do it just after nap time, just after eating, when standing next to someone, will walk across the room to find someone to bite, rarely is it over a toy (which is one we do understand), there is no real pattern to her behavior, other than her biting. We've tried the 'no' technique, time out, talking to her, keeping her away from other kids (but then she goes looking for a child to bite), we've given her her pacifier which did work but now she takes it out to bite a child-same with her 'blankie'. What else can a teacher honestly do? I can't watch just her, I have other children in the room as well. I don't want to isolate her, it's not fair for her either. Oh, another catch-the biggest catch of all...she's the director's daughter. Definitely open to ideas!!!

Well unfortunately...I am this mommy! I am the director of a child development center and my daughter is 18 months old and she is a biter! This post is obviously not about my daughter because of the date it was posted but as I ressearched online on how to deal with biting I fould this forum. I must tell you it is AWFUL to be the person in charge and having your daughter down the hall biting. She has more recently started biting in the last week or so. I hate to use the cliche..."she is teething" but you can see the swollen gums and her fingers in her mouth all the time. Here is a question for you all...how do I handle it? Do I let my teachers handle it? Do I go down and handle it? How do I teach her that she isn't the "queen bee?" She is fully aware that Mommy is "in charge" and has the ability to wander throughout the building before and after we are open. All of the staff know her and most of the parents..she is delightful entertaining child...but has a biting problem. I have a good relationship with my daughters teachers, personally and professionally. I have told them I am open for their suggestions and as a parent willing to do whatever. I am just waiting for the first parent to come with me witha concern about the biting...do I tell them it is my child? Do I express my condolenseces and frustration? Will they assume that it will continue because the staff won't discipline my child?

[Unregistered]

Really??

Our son has been bitten 3 times in the last 3 weeks by the same little monster at his day care. We are working with the Director to remedy the situation, but I am pushing hard for this child to be expelled. This has been an ongoing problem with this child per one of the teachers and I think it's time to stop protecting the attacker and start trying to protect the victims. You parents of habitual biters who whine about how it's not fair that your little angel be kicked out for biting are selfish, egotistical walking nightmares in your own right. It's no wonder your little brat likes to attack others. There should be consequences for bad behavior at any age, including being removed from a situation where you are the problem.

Well I seriously hope that your children do not have any behavioral issues down the road. I question your ability to teach your own child forgiveness and understanding. You truly disgust me stereotyping a group of children you don't know as brats and better yet calling their parents selfish egoistical walking nightmares. Someone obvioulsy needs to teach you a thing or two about manners as well as child devleopment. It isn't always black and white...their are shades of gray in the world! Perhaps you should look at things a little differently...maybe this child has special needs...should they be punished for that? Should they be punished because their development is slower or different than your child's?

Not all children are angels and I'm guessing that your child has had their moments...has your child never hit? or pushed? or pinched? How would you feel as a parent if your child was the biter? How would you handle it? Would you want a classroom of parents ganging up on your for a behavior your child has only at school? Most parents of biters feel helpless...they want to know what they can do to remedy the issue. Perhaps when you grow up you will have the ability to look at things through someone elses perspective and realize each child is an individual and deserves a chance to be successful you may have a change of heart. I'm guessing your children will need that opportunity some day. And although you don't believe my biting bratty daughter deserves it.....I hope your children get that opportunity. They should not be punished for a parent who is so close-minded that they don't wish success for all children.

[Unregistered]

Well unfortunately...I am this mommy! I am the director of a child development center and my daughter is 18 months old and she is a biter! This post is obviously not about my daughter because of the date it was posted but as I ressearched online on how to deal with biting I fould this forum. I must tell you it is AWFUL to be the person in charge and having your daughter down the hall biting. She has more recently started biting in the last week or so. I hate to use the cliche..."she is teething" but you can see the swollen gums and her fingers in her mouth all the time. Here is a question for you all...how do I handle it? Do I let my teachers handle it? Do I go down and handle it? How do I teach her that she isn't the "queen bee?" She is fully aware that Mommy is "in charge" and has the ability to wander throughout the building before and after we are open. All of the staff know her and most of the parents..she is delightful entertaining child...but has a biting problem. I have a good relationship with my daughters teachers, personally and professionally. I have told them I am open for their suggestions and as a parent willing to do whatever. I am just waiting for the first parent to come with me witha concern about the biting...do I tell them it is my child? Do I express my condolenseces and frustration? Will they assume that it will continue because the staff won't discipline my child?

This is a tough problem to deal with, and hopefully you will find a solution sooner rather than later. I have had a home daycare for 15 years now and the thing that seems to be most effective for me is this: Immediately after the "bite", take the two children aside, and say something to the effect of "Sally, do you see how Johnny is crying? He is very upset because when you bite him, it really hurts! Do you see this mark on his arm? That's where you bit him and it really hurts! Can you make Johnny feel better?" Usually here the "biter" will give a hug or say sorry if they are verbal. This works best if you tackle the problem as soon as the biting starts, so I'm not sure how it will work for a little one who's been biting for awhile. And obviously it works better if the child who is bitten is upset and doesn't just take it in stride.

Good luck to you and your daughter.

[Unregistered]

mom of a biter

Well, this is my first post to the forums and I wish I didn't have to make it.

I am in a bit of a unique situation I think. My son (5) and daughter (16 months) are in a 5-star, NAEYC accredited learning center that is owned/run by the pharmaceutical company I work for. I DO have to pay for my children's care, but at a reduced rate since I am among the lowest paid employees of the company.

My daughter has become the repeated victim of biting. In the last 2-3 months she has been bitten 7 times. At least 3 of the bites were by the same child, although some of the other bites were from different children. I have spoken to the director of the daycare and she has confirmed that there are several children in the class who are in a biting stage. I understand that it could just as easily hae been my daughter biting other children and that there is very little that can be done to stop the biting, but it is still VERY frustrating. Each bite had left bruises and scrapes, although none of them, luckily, have broken the skin. In EVERY case the reports have stated that the bite was completely unprevoked. The director explained the centers policy to me which amounts to watching the biter when there are extra teachers to put in the room, which is seldom to never.

After the last incident, the center hired an outside counselor to come in for a "bag lunch workshop" for the parents to help them learn thing to do at home to try andchange the biters behavior patterns. The workshop was on Monday and I found out today that not a single parent of any of the biter children came to the workshop. being that this is a company owned daycare, every one of the parent/employees could have easily gotten off work for the workshop.

It seems to me that the parents of the biters don't care about my daughter (and other kids in the class) being bitten over and over again. The daycare is aparently going to do NOTHING else at this time.

Because of the discounted rate, and my wife and my work start times, I can't pull my kids out and put them in a different center, besides which I don't think that my children should have to leave.

Any thoughts/comments/advise would be appreciated.

Thanks

Just wanted to say sorry to all those kids that are getting bit..my son is 21 months old and didnt start biting til he got bit first...it started out that he was only biting this one little girl.. i felt so sorry for her. now he bites different children for different reasons..sometimes it is because they take his toys or are just simply in his space... there are times the daycare teachers say he does it for no reason what so ever... im not there to see what happens...he does not bite at home nor does he get bit at home... i have no idea what to do about it.. i dont know if the daycare just cant keep a close enough eye on the kids or what but i do know the rooms are not that big...so again im sorry for those babies and kids that get bit over and over...every day that he does bite i make him tell the child he is sorry and to give them a hug.. i explain before and after everyday that biting is a no no and it hurts and it is not a nice thing to do to your friends...again im sorry i just dont know what else to do at this age....