Biting @ Daycare

[Unregistered]

Biters at daycare

5 times is too many times to bite someone else's child. He should be put out and you should your discipline!

I apologize to all of the victims of bites, but please do not think that the parents of the biter are not good parents. I am saddened that my child hurts others when threatened or when he wants his way and we did not teach him this behavior. He is disciplined at school with time outs and we also discipline at home when he bites at school. My son does not just go around biting children; he bites in times of conflict with another child. We are working with him to use his words and talk to the daycare workers when conflicts occur, but we must also remember that it is harder for some children to master self-control and using words in times of frustration. I know that parents of the biter feel terrible about it and we are parents just like you wanting our children to learn appropriate ways of playing with other children. I work and so does my husband, my child should not be kicked out of daycare. We should instead work together with constant reminders and praise of positive behaviors, time-outs when biting occurs and increased supervision during times of close free play with other children. Especially if it particularly one child who is being bitten. My child has not bitten as much as some of the stories you have mentioned, just having some difficulty with one child in particular during playtime and it has happened 5 times in the past month. Praying for all children and their parents the bitees and the biters.

[MamaG]

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So an update to my 23 month old daughter who had bites... so we are now looking at 4 bites in 8 weeks... and just on Friday, this bite was on the FACE. No bite is ever easy to take when you see marks on your child... but on the face.... it was just shocking and horribly upsetting.

It is not their policy to say who the biter is... but my daughter did say a name... and basically it was confirmed from the conversation I had this morning. This boy is always all over my daughter. When I picked her up one day, I saw him tackler her... I believe he has bit her at least once before... I saw a incident report taped to his cubby the same day she had hers from being bit. I am thinking I need a parent-teacher conference. For daycare professionals out there... is there something that can be done if you have the same culprit biting a certain child? Is it time to move on to a new school?

For the previous incidents that went "unnoticed"... basically they said they never saw her cry... didn't notice anything out of the ordinary... seems unbelievable when you have a bite hard enough to break the skin... they apologized but said they didn't see it. This one on the face though.... everyone could see that... clear individual teeth marks on her cheekbone right below her eye.

If a child bites or otherwise inflicts harm in an act of anger they get three strikes you're out, as in terminated. As a mother I would not care about 'oh he is just frustraighted and we are working on it' blah blah crap! As a provider I've had this issue pop up more then once. I tell parents the 3 strikes rule and the offender is reprimanded and punished! Severely. It is outlines in detail in my policies and in the note that get sent home.

[MamaG]

It's illegal to tell parents who is the biter. Just so you know. But the children could be sent home after 3 bites in one day. They could have incident reports put in their file for each one and when they hit 10 in one month have a conference. If it happens 10 times a second month they're expelled. Most schools would rather loose one aggressive kid then 5 kids whose parents got fed up with nothing being done about that child.

I'd find new child care after the 2nd bite! And at my 'center' after the 3rd bite offender gets terminated. But after 1 bite the biter gets glued to my hip, so a 2nd bite has never happened. When they see dang a bite I become miss teachers new shadow. He doesn't get to play with what or where or who he wants too. Pretty much ****s.

[Unregistered]

I am very concerned about a situation at a licensed daycare center. What is the policy on handling a child who is biting other children multiple times daily? The child I am concerned about has been bitten multiple times daily, breaking the skin and bruising on 9 days in a short period of time by the same child. He is not the only child @ the day care who is being bitten. Also, the aggressive child who does the biting is also kicking other children. When I talked to the staff they said there was nothing they could do. I believe this is a staffing issue. It has become such an issue that I have filed a report with Department of Social Services. What information can you give me? Where do I find this information?

You should have asked or read about information first before filing a report. uncool.

[Unregistered]

17 month biting

Today I received an incident note from my sons day care that he bit another child n has attempted or bitten other kids this week ... It's only Tuesday which would mean he did it for two days so far. tomorrow I'm going in extra early to have a discussion with the teacher I have so many questions n things we can try to do to solve the situation. I'm sad to think that any parent would think that a biters parent is a bad parent or that my son is some homicidal freak at 17 months old. He had a problem with this behavior at home a month ago when ever he was excited or wanted to show affection he would bite so I would tell him firmly no bit, and then say gentle gentle while caressing his face and the behavior improved 110% now I find out he is starting at school I feel horrible for any child he bit I'm absolutely horrified and embarrassed by his behavior but I've been researching ways to help solve this issue. this is most definitely a parent / daycare issue both must work together and be consistent n understanding of what the instigators are. My son is a sweet loving n highly intelligent child n has always played well with others so I'm still in shock. I'm wondering if perhaps he is bored...his teacher has told me on many occasions that he is way ahead of the other children n is the most mature though he is not the oldest perhaps he needs more mental stimulation ...guess I will find out tomorrow at any rate please know that this mother of a biter isn't standing idly by but being proactive as I hope his daycare will be as well. Best of luck to everyone in whatever ur situation is and please remember these are still babies n they take all their cues from us so if they are misbehaving we the adults (parents&caregivers) need to take a look in the mirror n make changes!

[daycarediva]

Today I received an incident note from my sons day care that he bit another child n has attempted or bitten other kids this week ... It's only Tuesday which would mean he did it for two days so far. tomorrow I'm going in extra early to have a discussion with the teacher I have so many questions n things we can try to do to solve the situation. I'm sad to think that any parent would think that a biters parent is a bad parent or that my son is some homicidal freak at 17 months old. He had a problem with this behavior at home a month ago when ever he was excited or wanted to show affection he would bite so I would tell him firmly no bit, and then say gentle gentle while caressing his face and the behavior improved 110% now I find out he is starting at school I feel horrible for any child he bit I'm absolutely horrified and embarrassed by his behavior but I've been researching ways to help solve this issue. this is most definitely a parent / daycare issue both must work together and be consistent n understanding of what the instigators are. My son is a sweet loving n highly intelligent child n has always played well with others so I'm still in shock. I'm wondering if perhaps he is bored...his teacher has told me on many occasions that he is way ahead of the other children n is the most mature though he is not the oldest perhaps he needs more mental stimulation ...guess I will find out tomorrow at any rate please know that this mother of a biter isn't standing idly by but being proactive as I hope his daycare will be as well. Best of luck to everyone in whatever ur situation is and please remember these are still babies n they take all their cues from us so if they are misbehaving we the adults (parents&caregivers) need to take a look in the mirror n make changes!

He could be biting because he is excited, he could be biting because he is frustrated, there are so many reasons that it's sometimes hard to determine a cause.

As a provider, I don't think parents of biters are bad.

I would ask that they watch for a pattern. Is it a certain child that he is biting? What instigates it? Who was near when it happened/saw it? Can someone make him their shadow for the day-week until behavior is gone? Is the reaction/response from his teacher the same as at home?

I have a dcb who bit at 18-24 months. It was always one other child and ALWAYS after lunch/before nap. Dcb was obviously getting cranky and wasn't willing to deal with 'in your face' dcb anymore and was frustrated. We started a bite/attempted bite 'log'. Every incident was documented to discover this pattern and after that it was easy to solve, separate dcb's, keep biting dcb near me. Sometimes it is more severe/complex and not so simple.

Great for you for being proactive and helping your daycare to solve this problem.

[Unregistered]

What if your child was the biter would you still have the same opinion?

[Unregistered]

I found this thread while searching for a solution for a biting problem in my childcare center. I am the director and I know that biting is common. More times than not, we find a solution: an extra snack, an extra nap, shadowing. This time it has continued longer than most. Anyone within reach at any time of day is the target for this 17-month old. Some would then say that the solution is easy; keep everyone out of reach. However, anyone working in the child care field knows that this is not practical in a center setting. I know that the parents of the biter are frustrated and embarrassed. It's not easy to pick up your child and be told once again that he bit. The parents of those bitten are also upset that their child has been subjected to being bit again and again. The staff does not like having to give the news to either set of parents and even they feel somewhat responsible that this has happened during their watch. No matter how closely a child is watched, it takes a mere split-second for a bite to occur. To not allow the child to interact with other children defeats the entire purpose of a childcare center where the goal is teach children social skills. I'm not certain that I have the right answer, but we are asking the parents of the biter to take a 2-week break from our center and then we can all try again.

[Unregistered]

My son, 3 years old, is biting only in daycare, sometimes without any reason, sometimes out of frustration. The size of the class is large, and the staff turnover is also high. They were not able to come with strategies, so we were the ones doing the research and suggested to have him accommodated in one of the smaller size class, or provide him o toy that he can bite, prevention, and more.
However, they rejected all our suggestions and they only talk to him. The daycare do not really provide the context of the incidents. The biting is not frequent but is happening occasionally for 6 months now. We do a lot of talk and remove privileges the day he is biting, he is also reminded periodically what are the consequences in case of a biting.
I consider moving him to another daycare where he is not attached to any child, or staff, but I only fear that he is going to bite in the new setting too.
Any experiences of someone moving the child in another daycare?

[1st time]

My son started going to daycare at 16 months. The folks at the center suggested he start in the 18 - 36 m room because he was tall for his age. This week he turned 19m. He is still the youngest in his room. This week a new "friend" joined the class and bit my son on the nose. We were provided an incident report with details of the situation. The next morning, he bit my son above the eye, just after I dropped him off. That's 2 bites to the face in maybe 3 hours of DC time. IF the DC staff can't find a way to separate that child from mine, I'm gonna find a way to trash that DC in the local media.

[Blackcat31]

My son started going to daycare at 16 months. The folks at the center suggested he start in the 18 - 36 m room because he was tall for his age. This week he turned 19m. He is still the youngest in his room. This week a new "friend" joined the class and bit my son on the nose. We were provided an incident report with details of the situation. The next morning, he bit my son above the eye, just after I dropped him off. That's 2 bites to the face in maybe 3 hours of DC time. IF the DC staff can't find a way to separate that child from mine, I'm gonna find a way to trash that DC in the local media.

I felt sorry for you until I read that last line.

I completely understand your frustrations and I too, would be livid if my child was bit more than once by the same child but I am pretty sure there are other more adult and more mature ways to deal with this situation.

You could try talking to the director of the center and see what the center's policy is for repeated biting situations and you could also file a report or complaint against the center for failure to protect your child from danger or injury.

Trashing the child care center to the local media makes YOU look just as bad.

[NeedaVaca]

I felt sorry for you until I read that last line.

I completely understand your frustrations and I too, would be livid if my child was bit more than once by the same child but I am pretty sure there are other more adult and more mature ways to deal with this situation.

You could try talking to the director of the center and see what the center's policy is for repeated biting situations and you could also file a report or complaint against the center for failure to protect your child from danger or injury.

Trashing the child care center to the local media makes YOU look just as bad.

[Unregistered]

I am a distraught grandmother.
My 9 month old granddaughter spent the night in the hospital as the result of the many bites from a 20 month old child. This child held the baby down and bit her too many times to count, all over the face, head, arms and stomach. The bruising on her nose, ears and cheeks was horrifying.
The caregiver said she left the two on the floor, playing alone together, for no more than five minutes but I cannot imagine how so much damage was done in so short a time, nor how she could not have heard the baby screaming.
My heart is hurting so badly -- what in the WORLD?!?
Has anyone ever heard of such a thing? I know it is totally normal for children to bite but this is outrageous. The biter's parents were called and they immediately came to get the child, but such aggressive behavior is scary to me. There must be something wrong here that is out of the ordinary.
This is an in-home caregiver, who has been with the family for years and suddenly got an influx of younger siblings. I think it is more than she can handle. I don't think the baby or 3 year old brother will be going back there.
This is so distressing.

[MyAngels]

I am a distraught grandmother.
My 9 month old granddaughter spent the night in the hospital as the result of the many bites from a 20 month old child. This child held the baby down and bit her too many times to count, all over the face, head, arms and stomach. The bruising on her nose, ears and cheeks was horrifying.
The caregiver said she left the two on the floor, playing alone together, for no more than five minutes but I cannot imagine how so much damage was done in so short a time, nor how she could not have heard the baby screaming.
My heart is hurting so badly -- what in the WORLD?!?
Has anyone ever heard of such a thing? I know it is totally normal for children to bite but this is outrageous. The biter's parents were called and they immediately came to get the child, but such aggressive behavior is scary to me. There must be something wrong here that is out of the ordinary.
This is an in-home caregiver, who has been with the family for years and suddenly got an influx of younger siblings. I think it is more than she can handle. I don't think the baby or 3 year old brother will be going back there.
This is so distressing.

No way in the world should children that age be left alone, let alone together, for any length of time - not one minute, let alone 5. I'm not a big one to advise reporting to licensing, but in this case I would be reporting this provider. I would advise the baby's parents to remove their child from this caregiver immediately.

I hope your grandbaby is going to be okay.

[Cradle2crayons]

No way in the world should children that age be left alone, let alone together, for any length of time - not one minute, let alone 5. I'm not a big one to advise reporting to licensing, but in this case I would be reporting this provider. I would advise the baby's parents to remove their child from this caregiver immediately.

I hope your grandbaby is going to be okay.

I second this. Pull immediately and report to licensing. And since this injury required medical intervention, I'd ask her to file it on her insurance as well.

Grandma I'm so sorry this happened. I hope your grand baby is okay and y'all find anger provider. I hope the little one doesn't have too much trauma from this.