Biting @ Daycare

[Unregistered]

How much is too much?

My 17 month old is in daycare. She started getting bit around 10 months old. As far as I am aware it is mainly the same child doing the bitting. She has gotten bit at least 7 times since the middle of August. I realize my child could have been the bitter and actually bit last week, however why should all the children in the classroom have to suffer because of this one child bitting everyone.

Help :-(

[Crystal]

My 17 month old is in daycare. She started getting bit around 10 months old. As far as I am aware it is mainly the same child doing the bitting. She has gotten bit at least 7 times since the middle of August. I realize my child could have been the bitter and actually bit last week, however why should all the children in the classroom have to suffer because of this one child bitting everyone.

Help :-(

Only you can help. If they are not removing the biter, you remove your child. That simple.

[Concerned Mommy]

Now she got bit on the FACE!

A scratch of that nature, especially on the face, most definitley should have been noticed by the provider/teacher. Even if the provider did not witness it first hand, she would have had to have known it happened and found out what DID happen. The bite should not have gone unnoticed either....a bite that breaks the skin is certainly going to result in a SCREAMING victim......there is no reason at all for either incident to not be documented. These types of injuries are not normal, every day "bumps and bruises" types of injuries.

Did you ask the provider/teacher at pick up about the face marks and ask the following day about the bite marks, and if yes, what was the response?

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So an update to my 23 month old daughter who had bites... so we are now looking at 4 bites in 8 weeks... and just on Friday, this bite was on the FACE. No bite is ever easy to take when you see marks on your child... but on the face.... it was just shocking and horribly upsetting.

It is not their policy to say who the biter is... but my daughter did say a name... and basically it was confirmed from the conversation I had this morning. This boy is always all over my daughter. When I picked her up one day, I saw him tackler her... I believe he has bit her at least once before... I saw a incident report taped to his cubby the same day she had hers from being bit. I am thinking I need a parent-teacher conference. For daycare professionals out there... is there something that can be done if you have the same culprit biting a certain child? Is it time to move on to a new school?

For the previous incidents that went "unnoticed"... basically they said they never saw her cry... didn't notice anything out of the ordinary... seems unbelievable when you have a bite hard enough to break the skin... they apologized but said they didn't see it. This one on the face though.... everyone could see that... clear individual teeth marks on her cheekbone right below her eye.

[Unregistered]

Here's my biting child problem. My DD is 16 months old and I was just told she's bitten a little boy at her daycare (almost 3 years old) a couple times. He bullies her and is aggressive with her, taking toys away and pushing her down. Apparently (I'm told) she only bites him when she is basically at her wit's end. She can't say "stop" yet, but will make verbal cues meaning she'd like him to stop. After biting him, he stops. The daycare provider actually sides more with her (my DD) saying she understands why she does it, but she also does put her in time out for biting. My DD has never bitten anyone else, just this little boy. I dont know what I can do, as a parent, to get her to stop. I can't punish her after the fact of course, since I don't see her until hours later. I feel like the blame is more with the boy who shouldn't be pushing her down and being rough with her, but there isn't anything I can personally do about that either. I don't want her to learn that biting is how to solve her problems.

[Opinion]

But...

Here's the tough part- those who work in a day care can't really do any punishment rather than time out. When a child bites, they fill out a form for the parent that they must sign right in front of them. The parents are made aware. And if the child is 1, you can't exactly reason with them yet. Telling them to "use words" doesn't work. Also, a lot of times, and I hate to say it, but the biter bites because a child has yanked away a toy or a item of clothing or anything that the child was using. So it's not always just a big bully biting... Sometimes it's the kid being bullied. And what about when you're changing a child's diaper? Your back is turned long enough to clean them up and a bite happens. Day care workers do not have eyes on the back of their heads! They can't lock up a biter or anything like that. And to have one person constantly shadow a child is certainly unreasonable. Schools don't even do that.

[Unregistered]

My son is a biter at 18 months

My son is only 18 months and has recently started biting at daycare. From what I have been told it is usually one other boy, but twice has been his "best buddy". I feel completely helpless as he does not act like this around me. He is an only child (for another 8 months anyways) so he isn't around other toddlers at home to tempt him, and for me to correct him. Today he got sent home because he bit twice in one day. I got in my car and fought back tears the whole way there. It is not like I can discipline him hours later. He is not old enough to understand. I'm afraid too that by picking him up like I did today will only teach him that if he bites Mommy or Daddy will show up to get him. I am embarassed, frustrated, and feel so helpless. I know the other parents are pretty upset as well. Our daycare doesn't have a confidentiality policy, or if they do they don't follow it. I am going to talk with the Director to see if we can come up with some kind of plan. That is the only thing that I can do.

[Unregistered]

restraining a biter

My child was restrained in a highchair ALL DAY by his daycare provider(s) b/c he had bitten a child. This restraining had gone on for 3 days straight. Fortunately I found out about it and immediately pulled my child from the daycare. I have another child who was a "victim" of biting when she was in daycare, so I have been on both sides of this. Restraining a child is NEVER okay to teach them a lesson. My child was barely 17 months old when this occurred.

[Cat Herder]

My child was restrained in a highchair ALL DAY by his daycare provider(s) b/c he had bitten a child. This restraining had gone on for 3 days straight. Fortunately I found out about it and immediately pulled my child from the daycare. I have another child who was a "victim" of biting when she was in daycare, so I have been on both sides of this. Restraining a child is NEVER okay to teach them a lesson. My child was barely 17 months old when this occurred.

It most likely was not about teaching him anything. It was probably the ONLY way the provider had to keep the other kids safe.

Most toddler rooms are not set up to handle this. Not enough room for them to spread out and the frustration builds for them.

I would not go back to work in a "typical" center for ANYTHING. Failure techniques are the only options you are given as an employee.

I am willing to bet the teacher did not like doing it, either. I am glad she told you the truth (at least I pray she did). That does not happen enough, IMHO.

Sorry it happened.

[Unregistered]

frustrated mom of a biter

I am wondering if anyone knows my rights as a parent regarding my child being a biter. First off, she NEVER bites at home and she has 3 siblings. I am continually getting calls from daycare stating that my child has bitten and broken the skin and per daycare policy, the child must be removed for 24 hours due to this issue. I understand that this is the policy and I have been fine with it intil now because it is jeopardizing my job. I always explain to her that biting is not ok and it hurts her friends and they dont like to be bit and neither does she. My frustration is that I am beginning to believe that there is not skin broken and they just dont want to deal with my child. I understand that if another child bites mine they cannot tell me who did it. understood and fine with that. BUT I am beginning to feel like I need proof that this is actually happening to they extent that they state. they tell me they are not allowed to tell me who she bit, but I also feel that if they are making me miss almost 2 days of work and are jeopardizing my employment that I should be allowed to see some proof. Does anuone know what my rights are, and also how to get her to quit biting???? its only in times of conflict or like today, I asked them to keep a close eye on her because she had a tough morning and is tired due to she woke up at 4 and never went back to sleep. lo and behold I get a call 2 hours later saying I need to come get her and she cant come back tomorrow and then got written up at work before I left for taking so many days off. What are my rights and what do I do?????????

[Cat Herder]

I am wondering if anyone knows my rights as a parent regarding my child being a biter. First off, she NEVER bites at home and she has 3 siblings. I am continually getting calls from daycare stating that my child has bitten and broken the skin and per daycare policy, the child must be removed for 24 hours due to this issue. I understand that this is the policy and I have been fine with it intil now because it is jeopardizing my job. I always explain to her that biting is not ok and it hurts her friends and they dont like to be bit and neither does she. My frustration is that I am beginning to believe that there is not skin broken and they just dont want to deal with my child. I understand that if another child bites mine they cannot tell me who did it. understood and fine with that. BUT I am beginning to feel like I need proof that this is actually happening to they extent that they state. they tell me they are not allowed to tell me who she bit, but I also feel that if they are making me miss almost 2 days of work and are jeopardizing my employment that I should be allowed to see some proof. Does anuone know what my rights are, and also how to get her to quit biting???? its only in times of conflict or like today, I asked them to keep a close eye on her because she had a tough morning and is tired due to she woke up at 4 and never went back to sleep. lo and behold I get a call 2 hours later saying I need to come get her and she cant come back tomorrow and then got written up at work before I left for taking so many days off. What are my rights and what do I do?????????

IMHO, It is time to start looking for a new daycare environment.

There are MANY reasons I say this. First and foremost, the current classroom environment and your relationship with the providers is not benefitting anyone, especially your daughter.

Typically we only sent them home a couple times before we had enough documented evidence to show we fulfilled our responsibility to try to resolve the issue. Termination usually follows with limited notice.

I can tell you that I have had kids come to me after having been expelled and never have the first issue due to our program. Sometimes a change of environment is just what the child needed.

[jojosmommy]

I had a daycare child who repeatedly bit my own son at daycare over a number of months. I should not have put up with it as long as I did as it was not healthy for anyone involved.

I too suggest looking for another daycare. First because it is not healthy for your child (and the kids who are getting bit) but also because you will likely be getting a termination notice soon. I belive it is environment and will be the first to admit that some environments do not work for some kids. Plain and simple it may not be the right place for your child at this stage of her development. Not saying there is anything wrong with the daycare or your child at this point, it is just not the right place right now.

I don't think it is appropriate to ask for proof. Asking for evidence proves you don't trust what the provider is saying and for me that is an immediate termination. Often times kids only bite at daycare and not at home so suggesting that it is not happening simply becuase you have not seen it at home would only irritate me more as a provider.

I would start looking elsewhere, tell the provider you are planning on doing so (because of the biting) and ask them to work with you while you are looking for the right place for your child. Any provider with a heart will let you look for the right place if they can safely have your child in care in the mean time. Otherwise you may be better off using a temporary sitter so that you don't have to be off work everyday.

[ycats]

Parents of biters, keep your head up

I recently went through a biting stage with my daughter, she starting biting at 16-17 months and got to a point where I was signing an incident report 3 times a week. Around 22 months, she got kicked out of that facility. In that time frame I was beside myself, hated the fact that other kids where being bitten but also trying to go through every form of discipline and conditioning I could think of. I even did a few spankings, but it was clear to me that they weren't working - one incident she bit right after I had spanked her. The facility she got kicked out of tried to bump up monitoring her as the incidents increased but alas it still didn't help.

We found a new facility and I talked to the director before we admitted her because I wanted her feedback on what they could try, turns out the director's child went through the same frustrations with her child. She assured me that the new instructors would focus on communication techniques ( the words "not nice" entered her vocabulary). But she also assured me that most biters grow out of it, that it truly is a "developmental" problem that many grow out of. My little one did bite a few times at the new facility but I'm proud to say that at 2 years she hasn't had an incident for almost 2 months.

One thing that is clear to me, the new facility has teachers that seem better educated on tactics to deal with behavior issues. And they work! If you are the parent of a bitee, one thing you might want to consider: what exactly are teachers and faculty doing to curb the behavior of the biters? How hard are they working at it? I was blaming myself and my child for her behavior but in retrospect it didn't seem like the facility that she was in was capable of dealing with her issues.

[Unregistered]

To mom who had enough: I would have terminated you for a threat like that

[sariejohnston]

I can relate i have a child in my class who is 2 years old they bite all the time, there are times they do so good not biting for weeks and its out of the blue they start biting again, just last week they bit Three children in one day, my director then told me if they bites again i was to call her mom and have them pick their child up. i always set them in time out and talk to them about biting how it hurts its not nice, but they keep doing it, i have talked to their mom more then once and other parents are getting mad because this keeps being an issue, my daycare doesnt have a policy on it we just put them in time out but i think we need to have a policy on this that says if they become are harming other kids they are no longer allowed due to being dangerous to be around and they can no longer come back until issue is taking care of. i don't know how much longer i can take it, i am always in my room watching after these kids, making sure to keep them busy with activities for them to do. i honestly think this child does it for the attention. today she bit two children i have to talk to her mom when she gets here i don't know what to tell her i am out of ideas.

[MMk9987]

Dear Unregistered


I work in a child care center also I work with 1 year olds and their is one dcb in my class who is known for hitting. on my first day I am a teachers aide I had to write on his daily report so that his mom could see it. I mean none of us workers like that we have to write the children up but they are a year old and they need to know hitting is not okay but also i feel like the parents need to be teaching them not to hit also. if they are not being disciplined at home when they come to school and we have to be the bad guys and tell them no do not hit.