Biting @ Daycare

[Unregistered]

Question about what I should do

My son is 2 and we had just recently placed him in this daycare and right off the bat we started having trouble with the daycare they were complaining about him peeing to much so i brought him to the dr he has no bladder infection the next thing was they wanted to use diapers when i had him in underwear and askd them to please work with me because he is doing so great at home and they would constantly send him home in diapers or other kids clothes and I would ask wheres his clothes they would say oh hes out! That next week I brought a bag of extra clothes with his name on the bag and clothes and that afternoon he was ina diaper! I asked again did he run out she said yes I asked where his clothes were I brought today she said she never recieved them?! They were horrible communicators did not care my problems seemed so small to them. They never communicated with me at all!! I got a call one day stating he was bit in the face and when I got there I asked by who it was the owners daughter who had done it and he has a scar on his face to this very day! I was informed face biting is immediate suspension by a friend?? 3 weeks later he was bit again on his belly by a little boy who also bruised him! I asked the teacher what my son was doing to cause them she said he didnt do anything so I wasnt going to do anything about it to him because it was clearly not my son. Last thing is I got a recipept saying im 3 weeks behind on payment hes suspended if not paid by friday ?!?! I have seriously been paying weekly with cash and I unfortanatley never kept my recipts SO it was there word against mine..... I called the owner and told her he wouldnt return because i didnt have 330 to give them right then! she told me i had 10 business days or she would turn it into collections I said okay il see you next week to pay, then I said I was upset she didnt let me know weeks ago that i was behind! she then replied with excuse me thats not my problem you need to take care of your own bills?!?!?! I was shocked she turned that rude on me i then replied with your the OWNER and your telling me that tuition is not your problem why would you even let a parent continue 3 weeks w/o pay?! I told her id be buy the next day to get his clothes and diapers,....she told me "Oh no il lock that in my office you cant get his stuff until i get my money!" I responded with thats my sons personal belongings im not even sure if that legal! she said back if you wanna be rude il add another 110 to your fee! so i told her if i pay for another week he will return and finish the week and she said hes not allowed on her probperty that if he comes she will call the cops on him?!!!! I was in total shock that this lady ive trusted my kid with for 5 months would talkto me like this I really was in shock! So I said okay il get a lawyer and come get his stuff we went back n forth with other stuff said I just need to know is any of that acceptable? I was not rude I told her (even though i know ive paid) id see her next week to pay and only told her i was upset she didnt let me know way earlier my payments were behind that throwing a 330.00 fee on me in one day was financially hard for me! She got immediatly ticked after I told her that.... I think tuition is her responsibility as well as mine! 3 weeks really?!

[STC]

biting

I am very surprised only one person has addressed the issue of health/saftey, and not in any depth. Whatever the stage, pyschological angle, or developmental issues are on either side, it's a "so what ?". Once a child has been bitten and it breaks the skin, it enters the bitten child's bloodstream--whatever bacteria is in the mouth has a DIRECT entry to a child's bloodstream and can cause many health problems, including death-- no to be dramatic-- just factual. You don't care how unlikely that is if it happens YOUR child. This cannot be taken lightly and discussed as if it is a problem to be solved by either parent or daycare providers--while either casting blame on each other or working over time to correct the issue. All intelligent and reasonable people will agree and work for a solution in the best interest of BOTH the biter and the bittees--with the first concern , the physical health of the child wno is bitten. All the blame stuff is juvenile--where are the adults?
There, of course, should be caring for the biter--these are just children--who have no idea what harm they are inflicting. There are many great suggestions for stopping this behavior--in the meantime the other children need to be 100% protected-- not 80-90%. There also is not just one way to do that--each situation needs to be evaluated and decided on the basis of their structure and avenues of choices as a team--parents and providers.

[littlestarday]

I am very concerned about a situation at a licensed daycare center. What is the policy on handling a child who is biting other children multiple times daily? The child I am concerned about has been bitten multiple times daily, breaking the skin and bruising on 9 days in a short period of time by the same child. He is not the only child @ the day care who is being bitten. Also, the aggressive child who does the biting is also kicking other children. When I talked to the staff they said there was nothing they could do. I believe this is a staffing issue. It has become such an issue that I have filed a report with Department of Social Services. What information can you give me? Where do I find this information?

It's very difficult to stop biting behavior. We understand that parents are going to be upset that their children are being bitten, but biting is normal toddler behavior and daycare centers do their best to prevent it, but sometimes it just doesn't work. Becoming angry with the daycare teachers will not help the situation, they don't want to see your child being hurt either, and it can become very frustrating when there are multiple biters in a room. I'm not saying that parents don't have a right to be upset but they should also try to understand how the teachers and the parents of the biters feel about the situation. Parents are sometimes embarrassed that their children do bite. Children don't bite because they have bad parents, they bite because they're trying to express emotions that they cannot yet put into words. What we try to do is: 1. Prevent bites before they happen by watching the biter and removing them when you see them try to bite. 2. Tell the child "no thank you, we don't bite" or a similar phrase. 3. Remove the child from the situation by redirecting them to another play area or engage them in an activity 4. Prevent bites before they happen by keeping the child interested in play (introduce different toys and begin new activites when you see the child becoming bored) These suggestions don't work for all children. We have some children who don't respond to anything and continue to bite, and the best thing that we can do is try to protect the other children and be consistent with our methods.

[Unregistered]

biting with hearing impaired children

My son is the biter. I am sorry for all the kids that have gotten bitten. I received a text over the weekend with no warning stating not only him but my other two children were not allowed back due to the biting. First off I should tell you that he is hearing impaired and has to wear a hearing aid. He also has speech twice a week with a sign teacher. So needless to say he doesn't have the words to say let alone the signs foe biting. It has gotten worse this past month because his hearing aids are in the shop. So he literally can't hear you. What am I to do? It is normal for a normal kid to bite but mine is deaf. So you are punishing him and his two siblings for something he doesn't even understand. Oh and he is only 18 months and his speech is the equalivalent of a 9 month old.

[Hunni Bee]

My son is the biter. I am sorry for all the kids that have gotten bitten. I received a text over the weekend with no warning stating not only him but my other two children were not allowed back due to the biting. First off I should tell you that he is hearing impaired and has to wear a hearing aid. He also has speech twice a week with a sign teacher. So needless to say he doesn't have the words to say let alone the signs foe biting. It has gotten worse this past month because his hearing aids are in the shop. So he literally can't hear you. What am I to do? It is normal for a normal kid to bite but mine is deaf. So you are punishing him and his two siblings for something he doesn't even understand. Oh and he is only 18 months and his speech is the equalivalent of a 9 month old.

While this information definitely shouldn't have been sent by text, the daycare isn't "punishing" your children by terming them. They are protecting the other children who your son is biting and allowing you find another setting that may be better suited to your son's needs.

What most likely happened (and why you didn't get any warning) is other parents told her that either your son goes or their child goes. As you said, your son's biting has escalated recently because his hearing aids are being repaired. Your provider had to make a rushed decision, and to be honest, it doesn't make sense to keep the family that may drive future business away as well.

It all comes down to the fact that biting isn't something that's acceptable in daycare, no matter the circumstances. And just as you feel strongly to protect your children, other parents feel the same. I wish you luck in finding a better program for your son and other children.

[Unregistered]

I am very concerned about a situation at a licensed daycare center. What is the policy on handling a child who is biting other children multiple times daily? The child I am concerned about has been bitten multiple times daily, breaking the skin and bruising on 9 days in a short period of time by the same child. He is not the only child @ the day care who is being bitten. Also, the aggressive child who does the biting is also kicking other children. When I talked to the staff they said there was nothing they could do. I believe this is a staffing issue. It has become such an issue that I have filed a report with Department of Social Services. What information can you give me? Where do I find this information?

It's not fair to blame the daycare. #1 that is a psychological problem. Unless the staff have a degree in psychology is sometimes hard to change that behavior in a child and you have to understand that takes time too. instead of contacting the department of social service you should approach the daycare and try to see if they could talk to the kid parent to take him to a psychologist. They know how to help. Sometimes not even parents cant help the child. You are lucky cuz yours don't bite but that is very common in children at a early development stage. Instead of being complaining you need to understand that not all children are the same.

[itlw8]

It's not fair to blame the daycare. #1 that is a psychological problem. Unless the staff have a degree in psychology is sometimes hard to change that behavior in a child and you have to understand that takes time too. instead of contacting the department of social service you should approach the daycare and try to see if they could talk to the kid parent to take him to a psychologist. They know how to help. Sometimes not even parents cant help the child. You are lucky cuz yours don't bite but that is very common in children at a early development stage. Instead of being complaining you need to understand that not all children are the same.

While it is a normal develpmental stage taking an 18 month to a psychologist would serve no purpose.

And yes unfortunately once a child has bitten 1 time they are a known hazard and if a parent reports it the center is at fault. Why because they knew the child might bite again.

I was reported 1x because a child was bit. first time ever he was bit and 1x the biter had bitten. I was less than 5 feet away and the room was not crowded. The state said I did nothing wrong except I should have called the parent immediately and not waited for the parent to come 30 minutes later to pick up..... funny the parent thought they would bring the child back. The state could not believe she thought I would take them back

[Unregistered]

Childcare

same exact thing happened to us. they told us the same things. could not even tell us which child bit our child.

It's illegal to tell parents who is the biter. Just so you know. But the children could be sent home after 3 bites in one day. They could have incident reports put in their file for each one and when they hit 10 in one month have a conference. If it happens 10 times a second month they're expelled. Most schools would rather loose one aggressive kid then 5 kids whose parents got fed up with nothing being done about that child.

[sandrapitt]

Not acceptable

Children are just not allowed to bite and hurt other kids. A teacher should always be around this kid who behaves like this. It is also important that the parents of this child is informed and told to do something about it. Parents need to check if his biting is occasional and normal or just too aggressive. As child care centers, the center is responsible for the safety of the other kids. It is necessary that they stop this childs behavior and keep a check on him always.

[Unregistered]

Biting in daycare

We have a meeting today with my 2yr old son's daycare. He has been bitten several times and so have other children. There are two biters in the room of 6. While I am completely aware that anytime there is a group of toddlers together like that there will be some biting and some pushing etc. It is always difficult to determine if my being so upset is because I am a mother and my son was bitten or if in fact there is a problem that I the school should address or I will need to look elsewhere for childcare/preschool? Any thoughts. One of the biters has actually been biting since the infant room. Since moving to the two year old room teh end of Aug my son has been bitten 4 times prior to moving to that room in a year he had been bitten another four times. How much is too much? Any thoughts?

[Cat Herder]

We have a meeting today with my 2yr old son's daycare. He has been bitten several times and so have other children. There are two biters in the room of 6. While I am completely aware that anytime there is a group of toddlers together like that there will be some biting and some pushing etc. It is always difficult to determine if my being so upset is because I am a mother and my son was bitten or if in fact there is a problem that I the school should address or I will need to look elsewhere for childcare/preschool? Any thoughts. One of the biters has actually been biting since the infant room. Since moving to the two year old room teh end of Aug my son has been bitten 4 times prior to moving to that room in a year he had been bitten another four times. How much is too much? Any thoughts?

Honestly, I'd have moved on.

IMHO, Something is keeping these kids really stressed out (too much/lack of space, too many/not enough toys, lack of Variety in toys, too much/too little stimulation, too much/too little free play, etc).

I have never seen biting like that in my program.

[MarinaVanessa]

I must agree with Cathearder. Especially if there is a child who chronically bites as you stated (has been biting since the infant room) then to me this would mean that the issue is not being taken care of.

The issue of biting is difficult because it's a natural and frankly quite usual thing for young children to do ... this does not mean however that it is ok to do especially in childcare. If your child has been bitten repeatedly and no improvements have been made to correct the issue either from parents or daycare then perhaps it's time to look for childcare elsewhere.

[Unregistered]

I have a biter

I have a biter...and while I know this isn't acceptable and it's not okay to harm other children, there is a reason for it. I get frustrated when other parents don't understand the cause and think my child is just a bully or his home life is unsable...he is not a bully and his home life is actually quite normal, and he is actually very sweet. Unfortunately he has a hearing loss and is unable to speak the way a normal 2 almost 3 year old should. He can understand fully what's going on around him and he cannot express what he needs to, when he needs to. When he gets frustrated, anxious, or provoked and feels he needs to defend himself, he expresses that through biting. I don't have rose colored glasses on and think my child is an angel, in fact I know all children are capable of behaviors. If your child is the one getting biten more frequently by a biter, you might want to ask yourself, what is my child doing to provoke this child or better yet ask yourself how you can be part of the solution and not the problem by assuming a biter is a "bad" child.

[Unregistered]

I understand that children bite, and I am sympathetic to the parents of children who bite. But if the child repeatedly bites other children, breaking the skin and causing bruising, the child needs to be removed from daycare until such time as s/he works through that behavior. I'm not saying s/he is a bad kid, or that the parents are doing anything wrong. But at the same time other children are being hurt, and that cannot just be glossed over.

[Holiday Park]

To the pp who said her child has hearing loss, there a couple things to do . Teach him bon verbal communication skills like sign language , and pick a childcare facility who will support that.

I teach all my babies signs so they can "talk" about their needs/wants and have it be known. When my son gets upset because he is having a toy taken away he will look at me or the other child and point. If he wants to nurse, he signs milk. He is 14 months old and has been asking to be taken to the potty by way of signing and he is a hearing child . He also says some words too. But y point is , it Is known why kids bite and thats ehy its important to be proactive in prevention and tackling it at hand when it happens. Like others have said, if it can't be resolved then they can't stay in that particular environment and it is what it is, so the parent should try not to get all butthurt over it. Thats my opinion of course ;-)