Biting @ Daycare

[wvmomof2kids]

Children in daycare are too be watched at all times. Of course they can do something about it. They can watch the child and when he/she starts too bite another child, they should remove the biter from the area and explain that he/she can not bite....period. If that doesn't work after a few days, the child should be removed for the other children in care too be safe. I would also ask too speak too the parents of that child, if mine was on the other end of those bites.

yes, kids should be watched at all times.
yes, we can try to intervene on another child's behalf.

let me ask you a question... do you work at a daycare? just curious. sometimes those who do not work there do not understand what we deal with on a daily basis. When one child bites or acts up, the others soon follow. It would be nice to say that we could be perfect and swoop down like superwoman and intervene every time something happens or is about to happen. It doesn't work that way. we do our best to take care of the situation such as removing each child from the situation (that's a whole lotta fun too especially when you are also the one who is bitten- talk about your "on the job hazards"!) and telling the child who was bitten to not bite and that hurts. We console and hug the child who was bitten and do our best to keep them apart for the rest of the 6 hours that we are there at work. Please remember that we often have up to 10 kids or more in each room and it is physically impossible to be everywhere at once. Often daycares are short staffed and we don't have a lot of people to cover each area of the rooms in the daycare.

[Candyland]

my son was repeatedly bitten, hit, etc by a bigger child. i complained and got all the same responses and "lines". i finally told them they needed to give the other parents a heads up because i was going to file an assault charge against the child the next time he touched my child. (not that i would have) but would you believe it stopped instantly and completely?

hmmmmmm?

I was going to ask...what about the bitten kid's parents? What do they say when they see marks on their child?!!!

[Unregistered]

A two year old definately can "get" time out...you're not giving young kids enough credit, when my 11 month old would bite he got a smack on the hand, a firm "NO!" and 2 minutes in the playpen while everyone else got to play with toys, he's 12 months now and doesn't bite, ever....if a lab rat can learn to hit a lever to get a pellet of food, a 2 year old can learn "NO"

i'm a daycare provider, and let me tell you it gets old when i hear other providers say "kids bite, it's just what they do, we can't stop it" um, i'm sorry but it's your JOB to stop it, you are in charge of protecting and nurturing children! If you see Jack bite Jill, you pull Jack aside, you tell him NO he show him what he did to Jill and in he's old enough you make him apologize, if he's too young to apologize you put him in a crib, playpen, whatever for a few minutes and he will learn that biting = NO, and time out

[Unregistered]

Mom of a biter and a DC provider

I am just offering a new perspective that is all

I have read the thread and noticed a few people said that children often bite when they don't have words. My son (who is now 10) was a horrible biter. He bit children at the DC I worked at, chairs, his twin, me, whatever was close to him when he was frustrated. I tried everything, and believe me when I say everything. I do believe in spanking my own children and we tried that and every suggestion in every book and class i could find. It went on for at least a year.

As he got older, his speech issues that I couldn't get any one to take seriously since he was on the tail end of "normal" became more and more obvious. He did finally stop biting at about three. Today, at the age of ten, he is still well below the 1st percentile in almost every speech category but of course no longer bites. He can't read because of his disorders and cries frequently when frustrated, but no biting

I just want to offer hope to parents of serial biters, I thought we would never get through it but we did finally. I have had many children in my DC who were biters and just bullies and appropriate discipline usually put an end to it quickly. However, children who keep biting and nothing seems to work, please pay attention, there may be a deeper issue at work. Listen to your instincts and if you think something else is going on, keep pushing until someone listens. My son was never abused or anything like that but he was premature and when he was frustrated he couldn't express it. No amount of "giving" him words helped, although in other situations it might be a great help for children who just don't have the words but are capable of them. However, his speech and language processing disorders were just too severe.

[momatheart]

I can tell you why aggressive behavior is allowed.
Providers may not like what I am about to share, but it is the truth...
States are pushing towards child led everything. They have taken the rights away for any punishment except time outs. Sure, they can oust the child out of their program, but if competition is stiff, they aren't going to want to give up their income. Then you have Quality ratings. They set the standard for this 1,2,3,4, or 5 star quality that everybody wants to receive so badly because it means they can carry that title. But, do you realize that within this quality ratings, you are so limited on what you can and can't do with children, including what and how you teach. A child expressing aggressive behavior must be left alone, and area cleared so as not to hurt him/herself. That's right, let them have their fit... it's okayyy. Don't make them do ANYTHING they don't want to do... it's all child led. Check out what high scope learning is all about, you'll see some of what I am describing. It'll blow your mind. They tell us that preschoolers shouldn't be taught fundamentals, like letters and numbers (they'll learn that soon and easy enough in K.) and they aren't ready for that kind of structure, it's too hard for them. BUT, let the child lead what you teach. Oh, yes... never teach anything that has clear cut answers, always teach open-ended subjects, where there is no wrong answer, and take away any games that are competition so they don't "experience losing" rather, don't teach them to be a good sport, so we will just make sure that there are enough chairs out when playing musical chairs and never take one out when the music stops. It makes my head spin. Then we wonder, why are there so many aggressive children, no manners, no values? It's because the parents aren't with their children enough and teachers aren't allowed to teach. That's why.
Oh, by the way... I am a preschool teacher with an education. I refuse to be conformed by their low standards and low expectations of children. The children in my preschool are well behaved, happy, and know how to be a friend, and have fun, even when they are the ones left standing when playing musical chairs.

I too am a preschool teacher in a daycare/preschool setting and I agree 100% with you!!!

[cillybean83]

My 13 month old son is a biter. He has a mouthful of teeth (11!) and he has a molar coming in which is *part* of the problem, but he also bites for fun, to get attention, and when he's mad. If I'm sitting in the chair in the playroom and have a dck on my lap, my son will walk over and bite my toes to get my attention! I'm lucky that it is MY kid who is the biter because I can smack his hand and say no and put him in the playpen for a couple minutes. I wouldn't know what to do if one of my dck's was the biter, all I could think to do is separate the biter from the group and tell them no. So far my son hasn't bit any daycare kids, but he's starting to get that he gets in trouble for biting because he bit a stuffed animal then pointed to himself and yelled "NO"...so maybe he'll outgrow it soon

[Unregistered]

biting at daycare

Biting is perfectly normal at daycare and it comes and goes. Just because there had been streaks of biting doesn't mean that it's a bad daycare or the teachers weren't watching. And parents who think their kids can do no wrong need a reality check. We had 4 kids in our toddler room biting one child, who provoked each bite by pushing and taking toys away. His parents complained and threatened, and finally left... miraculously all biting stopped! Yes there are now some biting incidents here and there, but nothing like with that child. Sometimes a change of environment stops the biting. We have some kids who got kicked out from other centers for biting but have not had one biting incident with us. So if you're parents of a child who keeps getting bitten, either be patient and wait it out or just find a different daycare. No need to make a fuss and play the blame game with teachers or biters.

[Michelle]

biting at church...eeek!

My son bit a child in the nursery at church!
I was mortified and felt horrible for that child, so I took him out of the room to a private area and spanked him, told him biting hurts! (calmly and in control)and he never bit again.
Parents are so afraid to discipline! I read "Dare to Discipline by Dr. Dobson and The Strong Willed Child when my kids were young and they are all in college and doing very well. I spanked them very rarely and for severe issues. Most of the time we used time outs and taking privileges away.

I really think allowing an undisciplined biting child to remain in daycare is a form of abuse.

Baby teeth are sharp and these bites leave bruises and can break the skin. Parents need to step up and discipline
Just my loving opinion...I really love my daycare kids, like my own

[Habshockeygrl]

I apologize to all of the victims of bites, but please do not think that the parents of the biter are not good parents. I am saddened that my child hurts others when threatened or when he wants his way and we did not teach him this behavior. Praying for all children and their parents the bitees and the biters.

This was well said. My child became mobile at a very young age and would take toys from the kids that couldn't move Daycare's fix was to move him in with older kids that had the same skill set. He has moved room early every time. Unfortunately the big kids push him around. He may be on the same physical level but not the same verbal and emotional and so out of frustration he began fighting and biting. He only started biting after another kid started biting him. He does not bite or hit at home so we can not punish him for it and at 15 months he is too young to punish hours after an incident. So as a parent whose kid has become the trouble kid you might want to look speak to the parents before you blame

[Unregistered]

Regarding the message below

same exact thing happened to us. they told us the same things. could not even tell us which child bit our child.

We cant controll the biting case among all the children. And predict what going to happen next. We may not know who is in fault. It is because children tend to bite someone when they get frustrated with that someone. Its confidential for a childcare to let out a child's profile.

[Unregistered]

My child is a victom of biting too.

Ok so In my case I run a daycare at my home. I have 3 chidren of my own and I watch 5 other children. The one year old that I watch is always biting my 8 month old child. I mean not just once a week, but 5-8 times a day!! If I walk out of the room to make a bottle or take another kids potty, At every chance he gets he bites. I have told the parents about it and all they say is to bite him back. Now I'm not about to bite a child so I put him in time outs. The child does not do it at home. The father says if he did it at home, it would stop real fast. Now, I'm at a loss of what I can do. My child looks like he was attacked by a dog. He almost always bites him on the head. And the parents don't really seem to show that they care. So now I'm asking you guys for tips to get a one year old to stop biting. Please help!!

[jen]

Ok so In my case I run a daycare at my home. I have 3 chidren of my own and I watch 5 other children. The one year old that I watch is always biting my 8 month old child. I mean not just once a week, but 5-8 times a day!! If I walk out of the room to make a bottle or take another kids potty, At every chance he gets he bites. I have told the parents about it and all they say is to bite him back. Now I'm not about to bite a child so I put him in time outs. The child does not do it at home. The father says if he did it at home, it would stop real fast. Now, I'm at a loss of what I can do. My child looks like he was attacked by a dog. He almost always bites him on the head. And the parents don't really seem o show that they care. So now I'm asking you guys for tips to get a one year old to stop biting. Please help!!

Personally, there is no way in the world I would leave an 8 month old unattended wih other children ever. Not to use the restroom, change a diaper or make a bottle.

Bring the baby with you, or put him in a pack-n-play.

If you leave an INFANT alone, especially with a kid you know is going to bite, the only one to blame is you.

[Unregistered]

I Agree!!!

I completely agree with this poster. My three year old is truly such a kind, sensitive and loving little person. He is in no way aggressive. However, at times of frustration or being provoked he does tend to bite instead of using his words or telling his teacher. No matter how many talks, time outs, etc. Nothing seems to work in him remembering what to do in that moment. Impulse seems to take over. I know he will eventually grow out of it, but at present it's very frustrating.

[Unregistered]

I don't have small children anymore...

....but when my dogs start chewing on things and 'speaking' with their teeth, I offer them some 'teething aides'. I believe they may still make such items for children!?!

[Unregistered]

My son is a bitter!

My son will be two in september, he has been bitting since before he got teeth. It started by he would give "kisses" and just close down on your cheek. Well when he got teeth these kisses would hurt, so we did everything we could to put a stop to it! I went to work when he was 8 mths old had no problems with him when he was in the infant room. Then when he got to be a year old he was moved up and he would sometimes bit, well then all of a sudden he starting bitting. He would bite at daycare, at home, anywhere and anybody. He bit me many times and I would try many different things telling him "no", time out, popping, bitting him back, and even popped him in his mouth which I hated but it worked. He stop bitting at home and then after that stopped bitting at daycare.

Well then he started back, he starting bitting everything toys, children, and even himself. But he was still not bitting his father or me. At home he was just bitting his toys or himself so I would try to stay on him about not bitting. Well he stopped bitting again.

No just this week he has started back bitting children at school. He bit muliple times daily and even bit a boy in the face. I truly feel horrible for the other parents and children and I dont want them to think that I am not doing my job, becasue he has still not been bitting at home so I haven't been to punish him more harshly then "time out". I have talked to daycare teachers and director and we do have a plan of using a shadow person and when they can't stand by him then they will place him a play pen.

I don't think my son should be expelled and some of the posts hurt my feelings, I understand people's concerned especially if their child is getting bitten. But there are parents who care and daycares that care. I really hope that we can teach him that it is not ok to bite and to use his words. If this new strategy works I'll let you know!