New Child Who Cries ALL Day

[Unregistered]

Screamer

I work at a childcare center as the only provider in the 0-3 year old room. There is a girl who is 2 years old who has been coming for months, and still cries the entire time her mother is gone. She screams "mama" with short 2-3 minute breaks in between. If I try to distract her with a toy or book she screams louder and throws it across the room. My boss will not consider not allowing her to come, so I'm stuck with her. I cannot interact with the other children because she is so loud. Any ideas??

Old thread but you could always give her a sedative.

[Unregistered]

Rich and Kids

I was looking to see if crying all day was normal at this age. I raised my own and yes I had one who cried all day from the day she was born till she was 18 months old and finally was diagnosed, cerebral palsy with seizures and muscle spasms, medication and she stopped crying. But lately I have a run of children as I am a nanny who cry all day and night. They cry just as much for mom and dad except when they are held so they are held all day. I had a family for two years, baby was great, but then I was let go because they went back to there country, and I have had 6 families in a year and I leave them all for the same reason weeks and weeks of screaming, children in my ears. 9 months, 16 month old twins, 2 yo and the list goes on, none sleep through the night, mom or dad sleeps in with one child while the other sleeps in with the other parent in a separate room. All still on bottles, pacifiers, Teddy bears and blankets. No routines no schedules.you literally hold the child all day long, and you can't get them to stop screaming in your ears. I am a live in so I get no break at night, mom and dad come home kids still screaming and you have to hear it all night, ever hour or two they are awake for a bottle or the pacifier came out of their mouth or dad got up to go potty and the kid screams. I am with twins right now and they are 16 months old, they can not or will not hold their own bottle, they can not or will not sleep in a crib, and they will not even attempt to feed themselves. They cry about 16 hours a day or night. You can not put them down, when mom and dad are home one has one and the other has the other. But for 10 hours a day I have them by myself, 46 pounds and I can not put them down, I have to feed them one at a time, so nap time goes like this, I feed one the bottle while the other stands and screams at me, then I feed the other the bottle while the first one stands and screams, then I attempt to rock them to sleep together, 46 pounds in my arms, with blankets and teddies and pacifiers. If anything falls we start all over, the screaming last for about 1 and a half hours and finally they go to sleep, all together we are now into a good 2 and 1/2 hour ordeal. And finally the screaming stops, but I have to move, my arms are breaking and my back is killing me, but if I try to lay one down I wake them both up, if I shift in the seat I wake them both up, if the door bell rings I wake them both up. At most they sleep 20 minutes before something moves, even if it is them moving and waking the other in my arm, and the screaming starts all over again.

My parents tell me that this is the attachment movement method it raises better adjusted happier kids. What a crock of sh**.

I am going to tell my parents tonight that this is not working out and they need to find something else. From now on I will be asking if the parents use the attachment method, for better bonding, if they do then they need to stay home with there own children and attach to them for 21 years and not seek daycare or nannies.

Like young animals, only worse and not as well trained.

[Unregistered]

I have a 12 month old that I've been watching 1 day a week for about 6 hours a day. She's a friend of mines daughter and I watch her on my one day off during the week. The other days she goes to another sitter. She cries from the time she walks through my door till her dad picks her up. She only wants to be held, won't eat at all and won't interact with my 15 month old. She knows how to crawl but won't at my house. She just sits and cries until I pick her up and its a high pitch scream! Neither if my kids were like this. But I know the 12 month olds older sister was like this too. I asked the mother if she's like this at the other daycare where there's several other children and apparently its worse. Her last daycare provider quit for unknown reasons. I've tried distracting her with toys and I've also tried walking away. Nothing helps. She doesn't make it 1 hour here before she's so upset she falls asleep. I just don't know what to do to help soothe her. She wakes up from her nap screaming too. I want to help her but it keeps me from playing with my daughter too. When her parents pick her up her face is so red from crying all day and I feel like it makes me look bad but I feel like I've tried everything. She's too young to understand me explaining to her that its time to play and stop crying so I don't know how to help her. I feel like it can't be good for her developmentally either because she's not trying to play and learn at all. I need my insanity back and I use this day during the week to clean my house. My youngest will play and distract herself mostly while I get stuff done but when she hears the 12 month old crying she loses it too sometimes. Help please any advice!

[Blackcat31]

I have a 12 month old that I've been watching 1 day a week for about 6 hours a day. She's a friend of mines daughter and I watch her on my one day off during the week. The other days she goes to another sitter. She cries from the time she walks through my door till her dad picks her up. She only wants to be held, won't eat at all and won't interact with my 15 month old. She knows how to crawl but won't at my house. She just sits and cries until I pick her up and its a high pitch scream! Neither if my kids were like this. But I know the 12 month olds older sister was like this too. I asked the mother if she's like this at the other daycare where there's several other children and apparently its worse. Her last daycare provider quit for unknown reasons. I've tried distracting her with toys and I've also tried walking away. Nothing helps. She doesn't make it 1 hour here before she's so upset she falls asleep. I just don't know what to do to help soothe her. She wakes up from her nap screaming too. I want to help her but it keeps me from playing with my daughter too. When her parents pick her up her face is so red from crying all day and I feel like it makes me look bad but I feel like I've tried everything. She's too young to understand me explaining to her that its time to play and stop crying so I don't know how to help her. I feel like it can't be good for her developmentally either because she's not trying to play and learn at all. I need my insanity back and I use this day during the week to clean my house. My youngest will play and distract herself mostly while I get stuff done but when she hears the 12 month old crying she loses it too sometimes. Help please any advice!

Honestly, it's just not worth it for one day a week.

I'm also inclined to think that if she attend another provider for other days and you just one day, that schedule alone may confuse her and be creating her issues.

Also, some kids are just not cut out for group care and need a nanny or someone that CAN hold them all day long.

I know it's hard since the parent is your friend but honestly, ask yourself if this is worth it. For you? For the child? For your child?

[Unregistered]

I wonder if there's a way to find someone to watch her daughter for her. She only pays me and her other daycare provider $25 a day which is not much but there's gotta be someone who wouldn't mind making that 4 days a week as something on the side. There's gotta be someone who will watch her. It may make it easier on the 12 month old to just have a single person watching her instead. Apparently her other day care provider has the same issues with her so I dont think it matters who is watching her. Her mom likes me watching her because she says she does better here but I don't know how that's possible because she cries all day long here.

[Blackcat31]

I wonder if there's a way to find someone to watch her daughter for her. She only pays me and her other daycare provider $25 a day which is not much but there's gotta be someone who wouldn't mind making that 4 days a week as something on the side. There's gotta be someone who will watch her. It may make it easier on the 12 month old to just have a single person watching her instead. Apparently her other day care provider has the same issues with her so I dont think it matters who is watching her. Her mom likes me watching her because she says she does better here but I don't know how that's possible because she cries all day long here.

Yes, I wonder why mom thinks she does better with you? Maybe as her friend, you are sugar coating how bad it really is when you relay to her how the day went?

How come the regular provider isn't taking care of her every day and the mother uses you once a week? Is it a space issue at the other daycare maybe? It probably doesnt matter but I was just curious why mom chose to have you provide care for one day and use daycare the others.

Honestly, I wouldnt worry about whether or not there is or isnt someone else available to watch her. It shouldn't be your concern. I know you are worried about it since mom is your friend but like I said in my first post, you are compromising the quality time you get with your child for someone else's child and no matter how guilty we feel when we let others down, your child's needs and your ability to spend time with her should be more important than the struggle to find for your friend.

I would tell her the stress is just too much and that after X day, you just can't watch her anymore. Time flies and if you are a working mom yourself that only gets one day a week off to spend with your child, you are going to look back and wish you would have had that time spent in a quieter, less disruptive manner.

Im sorry you are dealing with this. I have done the same before and I had no idea how badly the non-stop screaming, crying really was until I no longer had the child in care....it was amazing how much of a stress relief it was to not hear that constant crying.

[Waddle9]

I understand

I am a mother of 7. A 10 year military spouse and watch 2 children 5 days a week. The almost 10 month old screams all day. Wont play, doesnt eat real food, is always seemingly miserable. After 7 children and over 6 years if daycare in my home, I have never experienced such an unhappy kid. Hes extremely small and non social. Scared of everything. Nothing helps. Not holding, feeding, napping, playing...nothing. I don't have the time for this. I have a ton to do daily. I cannot fathom this is normal. I have no clue how his parents deal with him. She even wants him swaddled still at almost 10 months. He is like the size of a 5 month old, but still. She is a friend. I have told her, and she feels bad which isnt my goal. I have no dang clue how to make him happy.
Frustration out of sympathy. I feel sorry for the kiddo.

[Unregistered]

You guys all of these sound like kids with food allergies ESPECIALLY the ones where the kid is a little smaller for their age, or randomly cries EVEN WHILE WATCHING A SHOW OR PLAYING. If its consistent, its likely food allergy (cow proteins, soy... you name it.. could be starting off those tummies and mom holds them to calm them down)

Hope it helps. Especially the small babies (for their age) arent getting enough nutrition cause they are allergic to something. Suggest mom keeps food diary, start cutting
Dairy
Egg
Soy

etc.
See what helps.
Remember dairy is disguised as "Casein" in MANY foods you dont expect to have it, EVEN LABELED "nondairy" might have casein...

[ColorfulSunburst]

I had a boy with separation anxiety I worked with him two days. He was crying non-stop during both of that days.
I decided that it does not worth it. And you know what? His place was taken in a couple weeks after his termination.

[Unregistered]

Having the same issue now in 2017

We transition children every 6 months to the new room. I work in Infant 2 and have 2 babies who give me a run for me money everyday. Today was one of my breaking point days and I went to speak with my director. No help at all smh. They are 7.5 months old. They have been here since 6 weeks old. I think it may be the transition and teething and high maintenance. I love infants but this may be my last infant room position

[Gemma]

I had to let him go last week. I just couldnt take it anymore. Kids that were so well behaved were starting to act up. His mom was offended and I tried to explain that its mostly for the good of her child. He was so upset everyday that I can bet that this will or has happened at every daycare he has been to. I refunded her money and never heard from her again.

I felt bad to reject someone but there was no other good option.

Parents are never happy no matter what we do, they just don't get it!If we keep a child that's obviously not happy with us, we are bad providers, and if we suggest to the parents to find a better solution in the interest of the child, we are still bad providers

[Ariana]

Parents are never happy no matter what we do, they just don't get it!If we keep a child that's obviously not happy with us, we are bad providers, and if we suggest to the parents to find a better solution in the interest of the child, we are still bad providers

This is so true! I called a mom a few weeks ago to pick up her nonstop crying child (this child has been with me for over a year but due to being sleep deprived after the holidays had a rough transition back to care) and mom seemed annoyed that I had called her. Meanwhile if you tell them their child cried all day and you didn't call they would be angry either way my contract states that I only care for kids able to participate in the program so she was being called whether she liked it or not!

[Blackcat31]

This thread is from 2009 just in case anyone was expecting a reply from someone.

[Unregistered]

Three weeks are you kidding me?

I firmly believe that not all kids are cut out for daycare. There ARE kids who, no matter how long in daycare or how great the provider will NEVER fully adjust.

The fact that he only stops crying when you carry him makes me wonder if he is carried a lot at home. Obviously these parents have done a huge disservice to him if they are carrying him around all day.

What would I do? I would terminate. BTDT and it's far too much to ask a provider to listen to constant screaming for 10 hours a day for THREE weeks. Also, this behaviour affects the other kids in care too. Not fair to them to have to listen to it either.

Three weeks are you kidding me? That sounds like heaven!!

I’m a preschool teacher who just started a new job six weeks ago, there is a kid terrorizing the entire preschool with her screams, she is 2yrs old and apparently, she had been doing this for A FULL FRICKIN YEAR!!! Before I got there. We just can’t get her to stop screaming unless we pick her ul!! I fefuse now because I am done with it, I will not pick her up, touch her look at her or even go near her unless she is quiet. So she knows that will NOT work on me, and she hates me for it. She goes dead quiet and walks away anytime I am in the same room. Goes screamng to another teacher and I can’t be happier about it.... such a screamer she gets carried all the time at home. And I have heard her mom sayig ”oh He goes quiet when you pick her up” ... problem this mom does NOT seem to see is that there are sixteen other Children in this preschool and only three teachers... one can not be locked trying to soote her child all day, it is exhausting for everyone around. But this kid just screams her lungs out unless you STAND UP and Carry her. God give me strength I can not listen to that child any more it is wearing us all down... and to hear it has been going on for a year?! Oh my god... I can not even...

[Unregistered]

Trash

I have sort of the same situation right now. I have this little girl who does nothing but scream when any of the other kids look at her or talk to her. She starts screaming if my husband is home and talks to me. Today, I took her and another kid out with me, and as soon as someone said hi to her, she started screaming and wouldn't stop till we got back to the car. She is approx 15 months old. I think she is just a spoiled brat who gets her way by screaming. I find myself yelling at my own daughter, because my daughter wants to play with her and comfort her (my daughter is 10), but she just screams louder. I don't want to be yelling at my own kids just because they are trying to be nice, but the screaming is grating on the nerves, so I tell my daughter she is not allowed to talk to her. All the other kids love my children, except this one. I can't afford to let her go.....just venting I guess.

You should give up all together. You’re poor kids. What are younteaching these children? Money is more important than a child’s well being. It’s clear you don’t know how to care for a child and to say she is a “spoiled brat” at 15 months old. You should really do all of the children in your life a favor and disappear! Even if you are (as you so eloquently put it) venting it’s very clear you harbor animosity towards this poor child and she deserves far more than you have to offer. Geezus.