New Child Who Cries ALL Day

[Unregistered]

Help!

I work at a childcare center as the only provider in the 0-3 year old room. There is a girl who is 2 years old who has been coming for months, and still cries the entire time her mother is gone. She screams "mama" with short 2-3 minute breaks in between. If I try to distract her with a toy or book she screams louder and throws it across the room. My boss will not consider not allowing her to come, so I'm stuck with her. I cannot interact with the other children because she is so loud. Any ideas??

[Jonathan]

Gifted Children Need More Stimulation

I almost hate to say it, but have you tried the computer? My belief is that there are more "Gifted" children in these daycare then most people think. That means they have high IQs and need constant mental stimulation. A Disney learning program on a computer is VERY entertaining. Our son started at 2 years old and it definitely kept him engaged. The problem is in getting them to leave the computer when you need them off. At that point I suggest they earn time on the computer by doing what is expected at other learning times. We use the same technique with our daughter wanting to use the Wii. We can't stop her from wanting to clean, wash, vacuum the house all day long just to earn minutes on the Wii. We've created a monster, and I'm not complaining!

[jen]

We have a "cry pillow." It actually works well for criers in general, not just newbies. It isn't a punishment, just a safe place to go and cry your head off without driving everyone else nuts. Only one rule, you don't get up until you are DONE. If you start again, back to the cry pillow. I have had several parents adopt that strategy at home as well.

My daycare area is a big rectangle with a tiny hallway that leads to the laundry area and my bedroom. We put the cry pillow there. That way they are still in full site, and unfortunately hearing, but it is still less disruptive.

Good luck!

[momma2girls]

Cries all day

Fortunately I have a 2 week trial period in my contract. I have had to let 2 infants go in the last 4 yrs. because of excessive crying and screaming. One I know had colic- boy that was tough for 2 weeks- I am a very very patient person, but there is absolutely nothing you can do to calm the child.
I have heard this daycare mother, has had to stay at home with the baby, she has gone thru at least 4 other daycares that I am aware of, could be more. IT is sad, but within 2 -3 weeks, if they do not get rest, get used to your routine, etc. it is time to say, you just cannot continue. It is not fair to the baby, yourself, and your other children in daycare.

[Unregistered]

Well I work at a daycare and me and my co teacher have the exact same problem. We have a child that is almost 30 lbs and is only 10 moths old. He cries when he isn't held and he cries when he wants to move to a diffrent place. He just started crawling so it takes him a little while to get to where he wants to go. He cries about seven hours out of the eight hours he is here. We are so frustrated and don't know what to do. But I just want to say that it make us feel so much better to know that it isn't just us that get frustrated. We have been looking for answers. We can't drop our children and I actually think that he needs us the most and so I wouldn't drop him anyway. If anyone has any helpfull tips we are all ears!!! Or eyes!

[judytrickett]

I honestly believe not ALL kids are cut out for daycare. Some kids will never, ever transition IMO. And, if mom is constantly holding him or running to his every whimper at home that won't help either.

If it were me he would not get held AT ALL during the day. If I wanted to show him one on one I would set him on the floor and get on the floor with him but I would not pick him up. My guess is he uses the screaming as a method of manipulation to get what he wants - YOU!

If a child does not transition or show significant improvement in 4 weeks time I terminate.

[judytrickett]

Funny! I responded a minute ago only to discover this thread is REALLY old! Good to know my thoughts are consistent!::

[Tolentino2007]

Baby cries all day!!!!!!!

I have a 7 1/2mnth old baby that i care for almost 13 hours a day!!!! All he wants me to do is hold him, and he cries alllll day!he just started a 2 weeks ago and still cries. his mom told me he is in everyones arms when he not here. i dnt have time holding him all the time. my youngest son who is 1 1/2 was never like tht, nor was my 3yr old. my children try to comfort him but he cries u speak to him he cries. he can cry for hours non stop. he olny want me to hold him when he's in my care. i need advice. i need to know if he likes it here or not. is it because he's used to being held all the time. i need advice!!! thank you

[Unregistered]

same here \

I have a little one that was like that. She gets held most of the time at home. For me it got to the point that I just had to put her in the crib & let her go. I would go in & check on her often. She needed to learn that here she would not be held. It took a while, then she only had a fit when she was frusterated, she is mobile now so now when she starts crying she is either hungry or tired.

Even though it has only been 4 days she is 17 months cries all day unless she is under my feet , Very hard to deal with If I hold her it justs makes it harder for her to go play. She has not played or pick up any toys. When her mom picks her up she clings to her an she cannot talk to me because the baby is crying and never mind if she tries to put her down..... HOW LONG IS NORMAL

[blessedmess8]

Well I work at a daycare and me and my co teacher have the exact same problem. We have a child that is almost 30 lbs and is only 10 moths old. He cries when he isn't held and he cries when he wants to move to a diffrent place. He just started crawling so it takes him a little while to get to where he wants to go. He cries about seven hours out of the eight hours he is here. We are so frustrated and don't know what to do. But I just want to say that it make us feel so much better to know that it isn't just us that get frustrated. We have been looking for answers. We can't drop our children and I actually think that he needs us the most and so I wouldn't drop him anyway. If anyone has any helpfull tips we are all ears!!! Or eyes!

I feel the same way! I have 10 month old almost constant crier! People ask me why I don't just drop him. Well, I've had him since he was 8 weeks old - I LOVE him. I hate the thought of him going somewhere else. I think he needs me. BUT, I don't know if I can take it much longer! Its been going on for almost 5 months! We have good and bad days, but mst days he screams about 90% of the time I'm not holding him! I don't know the answer, but it IS nice to know I'm not alone!!!

[Kiddo Care Provider]

Frustration

I know how all of you feel in regards to dealing with a constant crier. I cared for a child for 9mths that cried all the time. The child had previously been let go from a previous provider that had the child from around 3 mths until I took the child at 6 months old. I struggled so much with what to do because I felt so bad about the idea of letting the child go, especially since this would be the 2nd time being let go. The child had very nice parents which also made it difficult. I stressed constantly and tried to communicate with the child's parents regarding the situations as much as possible. The child was a coddled child which made it difficult for the child at daycare as I was not able to give the child my undivided attention. The child would cry when I wasn't close or with view, cry at random points, etc. Finally I told this child's parents I didn't think this was working out and I couldn't continue as it was starting to become way too stressful for me, the other kids and even the parents. This child would cry when the other kids were being picked up making it difficult for me to give other parents a report on how their child's day went. This child's parents asked what I thought the child needed and I said in all honesty it seems the child needs 1:1 attention from a nanny. Luckily it worked out and the family found a nanny, no hard feeling on either end but it's not worth the stress on everyone to continue caring for a child that is not thriving in a daycare environment.

As a provider I feel it is our job to provide the best care to all children (and thinking about the stress difficult situations cause emotionally/physically) if one child's behavior is affecting the daycare environment, I feel it's our job to do what's best for everyone overall. I did temporary/back-up care for other providers/families (while continuing to interview other families) until I found a child that I felt would be a good fit...as my luck would have it...it's been a difficult few weeks of adjusting so far. I'm on week number 2 with him and hoping/praying that things get better. This new child cries when dropped off if the child is not not sat right down to eat or being held. When the child is eating they are fine but then I find when finished the child will start to cry for mom. I'm not really sure what to do because one minute the child is fine, playing with toys and other kids but then next the child starts to full out cry.

I've now set a number of weeks as to how long I will allow for the "adjustment" period. If a child can't adjust in 3-6 weeks (depending on if there's any progress from week to week) then I feel they probably will not adjust to the new environment at all. If the child shows no progress over 3 weeks then I feel it's time to let the parents know the arrangement is not working, if the child is showing progress I'm willing to give more than 3 weeks for them to adjust but if the reverts back to crying constantly or stops progressing then again, it's time to talk to the parents about finding alternative arrangements. Thankfully in my contract I have a statement that says myself as well as the parents have the right to terminate care at anytime no matter what with a two week notice.

As a provider, we definitely don't receive enough credit or appreciation! We go through a lot and get paid very little. For me this has been worth it being able to stay home with my own children and I do love it much more than my prior job. We do however learn to gain a lot of patience!

Please feel free to share your thoughts!

[Unregistered]

Help

I have a boy that's almost 3. He started 2 months ago. His first week here went pretty well. The second week started crying a clinging to who dropped him off. The days were not great. A month into it I moved. He crys now upon arrival and all day. The few moments he is not crying he is miserable. I have said one more week to give him to adjust. This is his first care situation. The strangest part is everyday he has a phrase he repeats a few hundred times a day, for instance "mama come back after nap", or "mama make me happy". They are usually versions of things I have said to him...but seriously, over and over. He does not talk unless it is one of these phrases. I am begging to think there my be some other underlying mental issues. The grandmother, is a special ed kindergarten teacher, so I feel out of place to mention that. I have brought up the repetition thing, but not that I think it may be a warning sign. He has always been less engaged than the other kids. His language is way behind the rest of them. It is hard to tell because my daughter and 2 other kids are ahead of the learning curve. Do I just let him go and say its just not working out? I mean he puts us all on edge and the poor boy is so sad all day. Or, do I address I think he may have some mental issues and advise them to seek help?

[Unregistered]

I just started my 2 two kids at a homecare, they have been home with me for a full year. We started part-time 3 days a week and then there would be a break. We have no family here and it was hard to leave a new baby with a sitter.
So now my kids are having a hard time adjusting. But there are teething and then a got a gastric flu so they are moody, sick and miss their family.
I never hold my kids they play on the carpet and then we change floors for different scenery. It kills me that they are a bother to the daycare but what can I do, I need to work.
But I am also paying someone to watch my kids and if they are having a bad I should know that someone is going to be there for them.
I know that its hard when babies cry, and I think that if the daycare gives it a little time (2-3 weeks) the kids will adjust and if they don't well then you have to let them go, its not fair to the rest of the kids and the caregiver.
Tough call on both sides. Good luck to all.

[Unregistered]

Been their...

I've given notice to parents with a child who can't self-sooth. Many parents these days carry their children all day long in those slings and wonder why their child can't self-sooth or calm themselves without being held. It has nothing to do with the child and and all about the parents inability to be a parent. Maybe a group daycare or nanny would be better? Group daycares can trade off holding while others care for the other kids and a nanny would just hold the baby all day like the brilliant Mom has done. Good luck...hope you find some peace soon it is hard enough caring for other people's children with out having to fix a emotional development issue that should have been dealt with early on. Not healthy for child to be carried all day!

[Unregistered]

These children that you're describing are "highly sensitive" or "high needs" children and their disposition has nothing to do with how their parents have been raising them. There is a lot of good information here:

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/fussy-baby/high-need-baby/12-features-high-need-baby