Preschoolers in Diapers. . .

[spedmommy4]

Maybe this is a California thing but I am getting more and more calls from parents with 3 year olds (some nearly 4) who are nowhere near toilet trained. Do you all have age cut offs for accepting unpotty trained kiddos or policies regarding children this age with that have parents that aren't working on it? If you have policies, and don't mind sharing, I would love to see them. I'm considering revising mine.

[Controlled Chaos]

It would depend. I have an almost 4yo who still has poo accidents luckily he only poos at home

I would not accept a child over the age of 2 who wasn't potty trained. BUT if I am already carrying for a child who isn't fully trained until 3, I don't mind.

I just tell families who call "I only accept potty trained over the age of 2."

[Blackcat31]

Maybe this is a California thing but I am getting more and more calls from parents with 3 year olds (some nearly 4) who are nowhere near toilet trained. Do you all have age cut offs for accepting unpotty trained kiddos or policies regarding children this age with that have parents that aren't working on it? If you have policies, and don't mind sharing, I would love to see them. I'm considering revising mine.

I used to cringe when I saw 3 and 4 yr olds in diapers but as time has gone on, I've learned more about child development as well as parenting....its become clear that more parents are training according to their child's developmental needs verses just training because the child is 2.

Some kids simply aren't ready to be trained at 2 or 3 or 4 even. Like every skill a child masters in the first 5 yrs of their life, it's individualized.

I have learned that forcing a child before THEY show signs of readiness makes the process longer and tougher for everyone involved. If a child isn't started until they are demonstrating they are ready, then the process isn't really training at all as it seems to happen a bit more naturally.

However, with that being said... as a provider I do not involve myself in toilet training until near completion of the process.

Once a parent has made significant progress at home and the child has mastered certain skills in MY environment then I will start supporting the process. Until then, I play no role in it.

I will PM you my toilet training page.

[preschoolteacher]

I agree with BC in that I think different kids are developmentally ready a little bit later, and that current parenting trends of potty training at later ages (3, 4) are more on-par with what kids really need.

THAT BEING SAID... I would not enroll a child over 3 years old who wasn't fully potty trained.

I've had 9 kids go through potty training here in the last 2 years. The earliest was completely independent just before 2.5 years old. I had two more potty train at 2.5 years, and the other 6 all potty trained RIGHT before 3 years old. Some of the young 3 year olds are still working on it but are basically there.

Every provider should be aware of what she/he will and will not do in the job. I will not be changing the diaper of a 3+ year old who is not almost potty trained. It's not for me.

[spedmommy4]

I tend to agree with Blackcat as well. That said, I have enrolled children in diapers who show all the signs of readiness and ask to use the potty here. I am sure developmental readiness plays a factor, but I feel like size 6 disposable diapers and pull ups have made the grown ups a little less motivated to work on it. Kwim?

[Play Care]

I agree with BC in that I think different kids are developmentally ready a little bit later, and that current parenting trends of potty training at later ages (3, 4) are more on-par with what kids really need.

THAT BEING SAID... I would not enroll a child over 3 years old who wasn't fully potty trained.

I've had 9 kids go through potty training here in the last 2 years. The earliest was completely independent just before 2.5 years old. I had two more potty train at 2.5 years, and the other 6 all potty trained RIGHT before 3 years old. Some of the young 3 year olds are still working on it but are basically there.

Every provider should be aware of what she/he will and will not do in the job. I will not be changing the diaper of a 3+ year old who is not almost potty trained. It's not for me.

This is my policy as well. I had a very odd situation years ago with an untrained 3 1/2 yo. I said never again. If they are not ready to train, fine. But I'm not the provider for them.

[Unregistered]

My dd was trained before age 3. Most of my dck seem to be 4 when they are fully trained.

BC what skills do you require?

[Jujube835]

I will not change a 3 year old's diaper. The day they turn 3 it's pull-ups and sitting on the potty here. I'm a pretty new provider but this is working for me so far. I have two kids aged 2.5 that are almost fully potty trained because changing them made me gag.

I don't mind putting in the initial potty training effort because I'd rather do the work than put diapers on a giant

[Blackcat31]

BC what skills do you require?

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B8_3z0c2eVI8NGp1dENYMVRObWM/view?usp=sharing

[Unregistered]

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B8_...ew?usp=sharing

Thank you!

[Controlled Chaos]

I will not change a 3 year old's diaper. The day they turn 3 it's pull-ups and sitting on the potty here. I'm a pretty new provider but this is working for me so far. I have two kids aged 2.5 that are almost fully potty trained because changing them made me gag.

I don't mind putting in the initial potty training effort because I'd rather do the work than put diapers on a giant

I don't see how changing a poopy pull up is any better/different than changing a poopy diaper...

[Blackcat31]

I will not change a 3 year old's diaper. The day they turn 3 it's pull-ups and sitting on the potty here. I'm a pretty new provider but this is working for me so far. I have two kids aged 2.5 that are almost fully potty trained because changing them made me gag.

I don't mind putting in the initial potty training effort because I'd rather do the work than put diapers on a giant

Pushing toilet training before a child is developmentally ready makes the process twice as long and twice as difficult. It also opens up the issue of regression and more accidents than those kids who were trained AFTER they show signs of readiness.

If you wait to train a child until they show signs of readiness, the process should really only take a couple days max. and the rate of regression and/or accidents is almost none.

Also, like Controlled Chaos mentioned, how is changing a 3 yr olds pull up any better than changing a diaper?

[daycare]

I agree with this 100%...but i do have to say this....i think a lot of kids these days really know how to manipulate their parents from a very young age, so they tend to normally run the show.

I have a just turned 3 year old dcg that tell her parents which direction to park her car each day and which direction to leave from my front door so the dcg can stand and wave to dcm as she leaves. she tells her parents what to do non-stop and the parents do it because they don't want to listen to her cry.

I also just posted about a 4 yr old who the parents said he is too young to take a hearing test, because he just didn't want to have to listen to the doctor...LOL. yup true story.

I agree that it has to be when the child is ready, but i do think that many parents are missing the window of opportunity to train and instead they create a harder habit to break.

my dcp that have routines and schedules for their kids and are the ones in charge have the kids that potty train before age 3

the ones that the children run the show, I see those kids in diapers sometimes until almost 5.

[Unregistered]

Daycare parent here- just wanted to throw my experience out there! My son did not fully potty train until he was almost 5, he was diagnosed with encopresis right after his fourth bday. We started potty training around age 2.5 years, and he mastered peeing on the potty almost immediately, but getting BMs on the potty was a long, frustrating process. We switched daycares when he was 3.5 and thankfully his new daycare accepted him in pull-ups (he did tend to have most of his accidents at home). His daycare teachers were not familiar with encopresis (neither was I until my son was diagnosed with it), so I just wanted to put it out there as it could be a reason some preschoolers are not fully potty trained.

[daycare]

Daycare parent here- just wanted to throw my experience out there! My son did not fully potty train until he was almost 5, he was diagnosed with encopresis right after his fourth bday. We started potty training around age 2.5 years, and he mastered peeing on the potty almost immediately, but getting BMs on the potty was a long, frustrating process. We switched daycares when he was 3.5 and thankfully his new daycare accepted him in pull-ups (he did tend to have most of his accidents at home). His daycare teachers were not familiar with encopresis (neither was I until my son was diagnosed with it), so I just wanted to put it out there as it could be a reason some preschoolers are not fully potty trained.

obviously, if there is a medical condition, then I would see no reason in not taking the child on. The child can't help it.