Kids Who Think They Rule The Roost

[TickleMonster]

We run a very structured daycare here (as I'm sure everyone else on here does too) and have found that children behave much better when they know what is coming next on the to-do list. We also have strict rules that are explained plainly to the children and they know what happens if they break or bend the rules. Now, I know everyone has different parenting styles but there are some things I just don't understand and one of those is letting your child be the boss. A few examples include a 2 year old that comes at 7am with a popsicle because that's what she wanted for breakfast. A 3 year old who comes in high heels and wearing not one, not two, but THREE tutus because she had a throw down knock out fit until she got what she wanted to wear. A one year coming in his Halloween costume complete with cape and boots because mama thought it was cute. (It was not even close to Halloween!) A 3 year old who gets to stay up until midnight watching Barney and eating candy because she didn't want to go to sleep. I mean the list just goes on and on. Anybody have passive parents like this who let their kids rule the roost at home?

[NightOwl]

Omg YES. I find it irritating when dcps say "he wouldn't...", "she refused...", etc. I'm like, huh? Your child is 1/2/3/4 yrs old. They can't refuse to get dressed. They can throw a fit and scream and yell, but they can't refuse. YOU'RE the parent. Despite the fit, you dress him appropriately anyway or put him to bed anyway or say no to the candy/Popsicles.

[Blackcat31]

We run a very structured daycare here (as I'm sure everyone else on here does too) and have found that children behave much better when they know what is coming next on the to-do list. We also have strict rules that are explained plainly to the children and they know what happens if they break or bend the rules. Now, I know everyone has different parenting styles but there are some things I just don't understand and one of those is letting your child be the boss. A few examples include a 2 year old that comes at 7am with a popsicle because that's what she wanted for breakfast. A 3 year old who comes in high heels and wearing not one, not two, but THREE tutus because she had a throw down knock out fit until she got what she wanted to wear. A one year coming in his Halloween costume complete with cape and boots because mama thought it was cute. (It was not even close to Halloween!) A 3 year old who gets to stay up until midnight watching Barney and eating candy because she didn't want to go to sleep. I mean the list just goes on and on. Anybody have passive parents like this who let their kids rule the roost at home?

It seems that is the general parenting style now days for some parents.

It doesn't bother me because I don't allow that in my program.

Parents can parent how ever they wish to at home and if permissive parenting works for them...great.

As for me.. I have specific expectations for both parents and children I enroll and as long as they adhere to those expectations, it's all good.

(here anyways )

[Shell]

I think it's two things: some parents feel guilty they don't spend enough time with their kids, so they give them whatever they want to keep them happy and/or parents don't want to deal with tantrums, so they do whatever the kids want. Either way, not a good scenario.

[KiddieCahoots]

I think it's two things: some parents feel guilty they don't spend enough time with their kids, so they give them whatever they want to keep them happy and/or parents don't want to deal with tantrums, so they do whatever the kids want. Either way, not a good scenario.

...I agree

Then the child gets used to acting this way, and before you know it, the child is fully in charge and ruling the roost!

I swear some of the parents know this is what can make or break our Monday's, getting the children back into the routine.

Have a 7month old that dcm insists can't get down for a nap. This has been since birth. Dcb sleeps fine here.

[TickleMonster]

Omg YES. I find it irritating when dcps say "he wouldn't...", "she refused...", etc. I'm like, huh? Your child is 1/2/3/4 yrs old. They can't refuse to get dressed. They can throw a fit and scream and yell, but they can't refuse. YOU'RE the parent. Despite the fit, you dress him appropriately anyway or put him to bed anyway or say no to the candy/Popsicles.

Exactly my thoughts

[TickleMonster]

...I agree

Then the child gets used to acting this way, and before you know it, the child is fully in charge and ruling the roost!

I swear some of the parents know this is what can make or break our Monday's, getting the children back into the routine.

Have a 7month old that dcm insists can't get down for a nap. This has been since birth. Dcb sleeps fine here.

Been there done that we had a dcb from 6 months Premi at that the dcp said he wouldn't nap if napped it was only for 20 or 30 minutes the first day here he napped for 3 hours and did great here

[TickleMonster]

I think it's two things: some parents feel guilty they don't spend enough time with their kids, so they give them whatever they want to keep them happy and/or parents don't want to deal with tantrums, so they do whatever the kids want. Either way, not a good scenario.

The 3 yr old we have here has joint parenting so this is probably the main reason she gets away with it.

[debbiedoeszip]

We run a very structured daycare here (as I'm sure everyone else on here does too) and have found that children behave much better when they know what is coming next on the to-do list. We also have strict rules that are explained plainly to the children and they know what happens if they break or bend the rules. Now, I know everyone has different parenting styles but there are some things I just don't understand and one of those is letting your child be the boss. A few examples include a 2 year old that comes at 7am with a popsicle because that's what she wanted for breakfast. A 3 year old who comes in high heels and wearing not one, not two, but THREE tutus because she had a throw down knock out fit until she got what she wanted to wear. A one year coming in his Halloween costume complete with cape and boots because mama thought it was cute. (It was not even close to Halloween!) A 3 year old who gets to stay up until midnight watching Barney and eating candy because she didn't want to go to sleep. I mean the list just goes on and on. Anybody have passive parents like this who let their kids rule the roost at home?

The only thing that I would object to are the high heel shoes as they wouldn't allow the child to play. The rest, though, I would simply point out that I'm not going to be responsible for dirty or damaged costumes/tutus and that bringing a child to daycare in anything other than play clothes is at their own risk. IOW, the costume will be dirt-stained and the tutus will likely be ripped to shreds by the end of the day and I don't care. Too bad, so sad for the parents.

[Unregistered]

I am one of those parents. Its okay with me that most of you will think I am a lazy no good parents but my approach to raising children may or may not be similar to your methods. Yes its not mainstream but it works for us. I believe in as little discipline as possible. If you think that will lead to entitlement that is fine. I believe my child is entitled to the same or more than anyone else. If the situation warrants such as a safety issue than yes I will speak to him and remind him that its unsafe. I rarely do time out and no spankings. I personally don't see the difference between having a bowl of ice cream at 7am vs 7pm. Our household is very child centered. I am an older single mother who spent years ttc before I adopted I prefer to say yes and give options regarding clothing choices, activities, purchases, food selections, ect. If my 7 year old goes to school and would rather play after school and not do his homework then he must deal with the consequences at school with his teacher. He soon figured out that doing his homework before going out to play was a better choice than missing recess. My son is the one who picks the places we go on family vacations, what he wants to eat for dinner, somedays he wakes up in the morning and decides he wants to go to Target for a few new toys and we do that because I am able to do so. I believe in giving children the power to make choices and be creative. If wearing his baseball uniform to go swimming is what he wants to do then I let him. He may look ridiculous but there is no harm in it.

[debbiedoeszip]

I am one of those parents. Its okay with me that most of you will think I am a lazy no good parents but my approach to raising children may or may not be similar to your methods. Yes its not mainstream but it works for us. I believe in as little discipline as possible. If you think that will lead to entitlement that is fine. I believe my child is entitled to the same or more than anyone else. If the situation warrants such as a safety issue than yes I will speak to him and remind him that its unsafe. I rarely do time out and no spankings. I personally don't see the difference between having a bowl of ice cream at 7am vs 7pm. Our household is very child centered. I am an older single mother who spent years ttc before I adopted I prefer to say yes and give options regarding clothing choices, activities, purchases, food selections, ect. If my 7 year old goes to school and would rather play after school and not do his homework then he must deal with the consequences at school with his teacher. He soon figured out that doing his homework before going out to play was a better choice than missing recess. My son is the one who picks the places we go on family vacations, what he wants to eat for dinner, somedays he wakes up in the morning and decides he wants to go to Target for a few new toys and we do that because I am able to do so. I believe in giving children the power to make choices and be creative. If wearing his baseball uniform to go swimming is what he wants to do then I let him. He may look ridiculous but there is no harm in it.

From my perspective, it's just a difference in parenting philosophy, and you as the parent have every right to choose that philosophy even if it's vastly different from my own (the provider's). I will still run my program the way I want (with kids going outside to play wearing what they came dressed in), and I won't be putting any energy or thought into keeping one's child clean or the clothing clean, but I won't judge a parent for allowing their child to choose their own clothing. I would draw the line if the clothing was seriously wrong for the weather (sweatshirt on the hottest day of the year, shorts in January, etc), but otherwise I'm good with it.

[Indoorvoice]

I am one of those parents. Its okay with me that most of you will think I am a lazy no good parents but my approach to raising children may or may not be similar to your methods. Yes its not mainstream but it works for us. I believe in as little discipline as possible. If you think that will lead to entitlement that is fine. I believe my child is entitled to the same or more than anyone else. If the situation warrants such as a safety issue than yes I will speak to him and remind him that its unsafe. I rarely do time out and no spankings. I personally don't see the difference between having a bowl of ice cream at 7am vs 7pm. Our household is very child centered. I am an older single mother who spent years ttc before I adopted I prefer to say yes and give options regarding clothing choices, activities, purchases, food selections, ect. If my 7 year old goes to school and would rather play after school and not do his homework then he must deal with the consequences at school with his teacher. He soon figured out that doing his homework before going out to play was a better choice than missing recess. My son is the one who picks the places we go on family vacations, what he wants to eat for dinner, somedays he wakes up in the morning and decides he wants to go to Target for a few new toys and we do that because I am able to do so. I believe in giving children the power to make choices and be creative. If wearing his baseball uniform to go swimming is what he wants to do then I let him. He may look ridiculous but there is no harm in it.

No disrespect here - I'm a fairly new member and do not post much - But I just urge you to think hard about how this might affect your child in the future when he goes to school, college, and later his career, and it is not acceptable for him to do whatever he wants. How hard is it going to be for him to adjust? Just a thought. I understand everyone's parenting styles are different, but sometimes when we are trying to do the best for our child and give them everything he/she wants, we are actually not doing our job to prepare them for the "real" world and that could be detrimental.

[NoMoreJuice!]

If my 7 year old goes to school and would rather play after school and not do his homework then he must deal with the consequences at school with his teacher.

I rarely get fired up angry when I read posts on here, but that is just DISRESPECTFUL! How dare you shove your parenting duties off on a teacher who may have more than two dozen other students to take care of? You are the kind of parent that should never have had children. Have fun in la la land when your kid is still living with you at age 35.

[Kimskiddos]

I am one of those parents. Its okay with me that most of you will think I am a lazy no good parents but my approach to raising children may or may not be similar to your methods. Yes its not mainstream but it works for us. I believe in as little discipline as possible. If you think that will lead to entitlement that is fine. I believe my child is entitled to the same or more than anyone else. If the situation warrants such as a safety issue than yes I will speak to him and remind him that its unsafe. I rarely do time out and no spankings. I personally don't see the difference between having a bowl of ice cream at 7am vs 7pm. Our household is very child centered. I am an older single mother who spent years ttc before I adopted I prefer to say yes and give options regarding clothing choices, activities, purchases, food selections, ect. If my 7 year old goes to school and would rather play after school and not do his homework then he must deal with the consequences at school with his teacher. He soon figured out that doing his homework before going out to play was a better choice than missing recess. My son is the one who picks the places we go on family vacations, what he wants to eat for dinner, somedays he wakes up in the morning and decides he wants to go to Target for a few new toys and we do that because I am able to do so. I believe in giving children the power to make choices and be creative. If wearing his baseball uniform to go swimming is what he wants to do then I let him. He may look ridiculous but there is no harm in it.

All I can think is what are his choices going to be when he is a teenager? Of course he will have to have the latest/best phones, clothes and a car. With him making all the decisions and always in control, it is just scary to think about his decisions when he is in the crazy hormonal stage that are the teen years! Hopefully he doesn't hurt himself or worse someone else.

[Unregistered]

I rarely get fired up angry when I read posts on here, but that is just DISRESPECTFUL! How dare you shove your parenting duties off on a teacher who may have more than two dozen other students to take care of? You are the kind of parent that should never have had children. Have fun in la la land when your kid is still living with you at age 35.

Well he goes to private school and he is one of 14 kids in his class. She can handle him just fine. His teacher adores him. You assume because he is in charge that he is a wild beast which is not the case. He is a normal energetic 7 year old boy. As for living at home when he is 35 I would have no problem with that. I enjoy his company. However financially he won't need to do that as he will easily be able to purchase his dream home if he desires when he turns 25.