Kids Who Think They Rule The Roost

[midaycare]

Oh, and when my son is 25, he probably won't be able to buy his dream house. But he will be a self respecting, kind, smart, funny, generous, MAN.

At 35 he had best be out of the house. I don't need him accidentally walking in on me naked when I'm 65. It's traumatic enough for the poor boy now.

Okay, so I did feed the troll.

[nannyde]

I think it's two things: some parents feel guilty they don't spend enough time with their kids, so they give them whatever they want to keep them happy and/or parents don't want to deal with tantrums, so they do whatever the kids want. Either way, not a good scenario.

I don't think it is guilt. I think they don't want the kid to cry. I think guilt is actually very very rare in parenting.

[SunshineMama]

My husbands family came from a 3rd world country. They worked hard, became a doctor and a nurse, and moved to the US. Because they had nothing growing up, they bought their oldest (dh is 1 of 5) everything. New clothes, cars, etc. Wrecked a car? No problem, here's another... Wrecked that one? Okay, have a BMW.

He ended up on drugs in high school, was overindulged, and never happy. At age 26, he was diagnosed with schizophrenia. He is still living with , and fully supported by mom (parents divorced) at 39.

DH somehow got middle child syndrome and wasn't given as much, so we don't have those issues with him.

His younger brother however, is on the same path. Car wrecking, drugs and all. He's 26, and living with mom. I also see antisocial tendencies in him, and wouldn't be surprised at all if he was given a schizophrenia diagnosis at some point as well.

Overindulgence ruins people. At what point, in the community of our earth, is any single person ever more important than another? While I really don't enjoy doing daycare, part of me is glad that my children are growing up in a group where they are learning social skills, and learning that their wills and desires don't supercede others'. It's one of the benefits, I suppose.

What a shame to allow someone so young such little guidance. A popcicle for breakfast? Sure, my kids want that too. And I say, "I know you want a popcicle for breakfast. Popcicles are yummy. But you want to be big and strong, right? We need to make healthy choices for our bodies, even though its hard. Sometimes, mommy has to teach you about those. Would you prefer a yogurt or some berries?" And yes, I talk to my 1 year old like that too. If you do it from birth, you are teaching. It takes time and isn't always well received. But that's what parenting is all about. It is our job to teach children. If you let them rule the roost, you are doing them and the world a huge disservice.

Sorry for the long post-I get so irritated by this topic.

[KiddieCahoots]

My husbands family came from a 3rd world country. They worked hard, became a doctor and a nurse, and moved to the US. Because they had nothing growing up, they bought their oldest (dh is 1 of 5) everything. New clothes, cars, etc. Wrecked a car? No problem, here's another... Wrecked that one? Okay, have a BMW.

He ended up on drugs in high school, was overindulged, and never happy. At age 26, he was diagnosed with schizophrenia. He is still living with , and fully supported by mom (parents divorced) at 39.

DH somehow got middle child syndrome and wasn't given as much, so we don't have those issues with him.

His younger brother however, is on the same path. Car wrecking, drugs and all. He's 26, and living with mom. I also see antisocial tendencies in him, and wouldn't be surprised at all if he was given a schizophrenia diagnosis at some point as well.

Overindulgence ruins people. At what point, in the community of our earth, is any single person ever more important than another? While I really don't enjoy doing daycare, part of me is glad that my children are growing up in a group where they are learning social skills, and learning that their wills and desires don't supercede others'. It's one of the benefits, I suppose.

What a shame to allow someone so young such little guidance. A popcicle for breakfast? Sure, my kids want that too. And I say, "I know you want a popcicle for breakfast. Popcicles are yummy. But you want to be big and strong, right? We need to make healthy choices for our bodies, even though its hard. Sometimes, mommy has to teach you about those. Would you prefer a yogurt or some berries?" And yes, I talk to my 1 year old like that too. If you do it from birth, you are teaching. It takes time and isn't always well received. But that's what parenting is all about. It is our job to teach children. If you let them rule the roost, you are doing them and the world a huge disservice.

Sorry for the long post-I get so irritated by this topic.

.....I agree

My roost ruler that I keep posting about dcg2.5....dcp's were just ridiculous, and completely unrealistic.
Dcp's would expect me to keep the other children from behaving in an inappropriate manner, but wanted special treatment for their daughter.
For example; throwing sand in friends eyes, they wanted endless opportunities to be granted to their daughter, to have the ability to continue to play with the sand. And. every. time., she would throw it at the other children getting it in their eyes, hair, mouth.
The list went on and on....hitting, taking toys away, sticking out her tongue at every body, throwing food, stuffing food....etc., etc. Ya...normal behavior for a child that age, but the parents expected me to go outside of my phb policies of discipline, and grant special treatment to their child only.
Thankfully, they are not here anymore, and I would love to be a fly on the wall where she is now. Even though I'm sure.....the dcp's expect the special treatment to continue for this roost ruler.

[cheerfuldom]

I don't think it is guilt. I think they don't want the kid to cry. I think guilt is actually very very rare in parenting.

I agree. They dont have to take care of their child for the majority of the waking hours so all they are trying to do is survive till they can drop their child off at school/daycare. I am running into more and more parents that shuttle a child from daycare to activities to a weekend/evening sitter or other parent's house so no, they are not going to do the hard work of parenting. It is easier to give the kid the candy/trip/tutu/toy and make them happy for a few minutes between daycare and dance class.

That said, I still know A LOT of wonderful parents that really are trying to involved and attentive so its not like every parent out there is a lazy bum.