Maybe I'm Just Crabby But...

[Kabob]

I don't know how your pay scale is set up but for a schedule like she has, she is still taking a full time spot. You can't take other kids since her schedule changes. She's lucky you aren't charging her a full time rate (assuming it's more than what she currently pays).

Good point. Now that I'm charging her properly, some weeks she pays more than a full time child and others she pays the same. This way I can deal with her wacky schedule and she can still get flexible days per week. If that makes sense. I don't feel like I make much sense lately...

If I were to compare her to a child, she's not yet to the stress level of a crying child all day long but is currently at the level of a child whining for something they already have been told they can't have multiple times a day.

Not nearly as bad as my last drama mama...if she ever pulled the stunts the last drama mama did then she'd be done today...so far it's just annoying questions and words that she's using to try to get out of her contract on her terms...

[spud912]

This mom needs a reality check...seriously. I would like to see her only take 2 weeks maternity leave. If anything....YOU should be the one complaining!

I would do as cheer said and just offer short and blunt responses to her whining "we already discussed this....you know the answer." Rinse and repeat. If it continues then I would just say "I don't think this is working out. I've discussed this with you repeatedly and yet you still keep bringing it up. If you can't stop, then I suggest you start looking for another place that better fits your needs because I WILL NOT entertain this discussion or anything similar anymore."

If she starts crying, do the notorious blank stare....NO APOLOGIES!! She will think you're heartless, but it will get the point across.

[Kabob]

Well she didn't whine or cry this morning but was super cheerful so I was hopeful we turned over a new leaf....until she opened her mouth. She said (surprise!) she's taking tomorrow off to clean her house so she might be a little late dropping off dcg (by a few minutes) but otherwise she will be sticking to the same hours since she knows I like scheduling days in advance. I couldn't stop myself from saying "well actually, I'd be happy to change your schedule since I only allow the late pick up time because you need the time to get here from work. Since you're not working, I will expect dcg to be picked up by my 5pm closing time." Dcm just stood there staring at me and then said "Yeah, sure, I can make that work...." Then left.

Sigh...I keep giving people chances and they just cement their fate instead...no way I'm accommodating her late pick up anymore if she does stay here past Friday...she sees it as an obligation instead of a privilege. My fault for letting it go for so long...

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Well she didn't whine or cry this morning but was super cheerful so I was hopeful we turned over a new leaf....until she opened her mouth. She said (surprise!) she's taking tomorrow off to clean her house so she might be a little late dropping off dcg (by a few minutes) but otherwise she will be sticking to the same hours since she knows I like scheduling days in advance. I couldn't stop myself from saying "well actually, I'd be happy to change your schedule since I only allow the late pick up time because you need the time to get here from work. Since you're not working, I will expect dcg to be picked up by my 5pm closing time." Dcm just stood there staring at me and then said "Yeah, sure, I can make that work...." Then left.

Sigh...I keep giving people chances and they just cement their fate instead...no way I'm accommodating her late pick up anymore if she does stay here past Friday...she sees it as an obligation instead of a privilege. My fault for letting it go for so long...

Oh brother. Who wants to work late on a Friday night so Mom can relax instead of pregnant you?
Good for you for standing up for yourself. If you don't, no one else will.

[NightOwl]

Here's a theory: she's jealous. She's jealous of the attention you're getting, the exciting event you're about to experience, the "vacation" you'll get, etc. When people are jealous of something going on in someone else's life, they tend to minimize it and try to make it seem less important than it is. Trying to level the playing field, in a way. She sounds like she is just green with envy, IMO. Maybe not envious of the new baby, but envious of the attention/special treatment most pregnant women get.

[TaylorTots]

*hug* I feel your stress.

This morning DCM who is due in December:

-looked quite put out that I was not going to let her keep 2 spots for free during maternity leave.
-whined excessively about not having a backup care provider - specifically referencing a date that has already happened and I gave her a month notice to find care.
-claimed from Feb-June next year when she returned from maternity leave she could take zero days off due to her "record" at work for missing days.

She misses work less than 10 days a year because of me needing time off (vacation, personal days for appts, illnesses for myself or my two children) and she could make that number ZERO if she had a couple backup care people lined up. Did I mention my days off are all upaid? Why does she complain, EVERYONE around here who is a CCP has paid days off. Seriously.

I was quite frustrated like you are - but hey.

NOT. MY. PROBLEM.

[KiddieCahoots]

She said (surprise!) she's taking tomorrow off to clean her house so she might be a little late dropping off dcg (by a few minutes) but otherwise she will be sticking to the same hours since she knows I like scheduling days in advance....

And there it is......turning the tables onto you.
To try and twist the set schedule request to this....common!

I've been a mom for 28 years, of 5 children. Not once did I need someone to watch my children so I could clean the house.

Good for you Kabob! Keep on standing your ground!

[Kabob]

Yeah you guys called it...she has no respect for me and expects special treatment...I just kept making excuses for her for some reason. I keep doing that for people...I try to give them the benefit of the doubt too much.

I should have ended this back when dh mentioned he saw her arrive from the direction of her house instead of her work or other times she let it slip that her husband had the day off but still picked up after hours (this was before I started enforcing my fees).

I'll stop whining now...so done with drama mama...

[spud912]

Unfortunately, now she will just lie to you when she is not working so she can have that late pick-up .

I always love when parents take off random days with ease to "clean" or for random doctor appointments (yet take off the entire day), but when you need a day off for a valid reason (like maternity leave to recover from CHILD BIRTH), then it's the biggest hassle in the world.

[Kabob]

Unfortunately, now she will just lie to you when she is not working so she can have that late pick-up .

I always love when parents take off random days with ease to "clean" or for random doctor appointments (yet take off the entire day), but when you need a day off for a valid reason (like maternity leave to recover from CHILD BIRTH), then it's the biggest hassle in the world.

Exactly why I won't be allowing her to schedule late pick ups anymore. Also yeah...cleaning is apparently more important than me giving birth. I wish I could have a day to clean by myself. We'll see what she says when I tell her I'm not allowing her special time anymore...

[My3cents]

Again, I appreciate all of your input! Gives me the knowledge I need to do what's best and gives me a place to constructively vent.

And My3cents, I also appreciate your passion on the matter.

Sometimes I forget how much this affects my family too...even my unborn child...as silly as that sounds.

we do forget until it is put as fact in front of us.

Unless your hubby works in your daycare I wouldn't allow him to tell you how to run your job! I assume he has a job. I assume you don't tell him how to do his job outside of the house. If your talking with a client and they break down, and you stand on your two feet for what you believe in your doing what you should do. It doesn't mean that you don't have compassion for the client, it just means you care about your business and your family and are doing what is best for you. I often find hubbies think only of the $ the client brings in, and not of the toll it takes on the provider. Not all- but many do.

If this mom has a choice I wouldn't allow her to use me for that long a day. You can remedy this by saying that you only allow so many hours per day, as it is not good for the child or the provider to carry on such long hours and you believe that parents should have time in the day to parent their child. Its different if your a center. A center often- not always has rotating employees, in a home its one provider doing the care 10 hours is a huge long day. Again this is your business run it the way you want and what works for you!!! don't let the client run you-

[My3cents]

And there it is......turning the tables onto you.
To try and twist the set schedule request to this....common!

I've been a mom for 28 years, of 5 children. Not once did I need someone to watch my children so I could clean the house.

Good for you Kabob! Keep on standing your ground!

This does always amaze me. I am all for a parent taking a day for themselves when needed. I think its healthy. but if I had a parent that hardly spent time with the child I would say something. I don't get it either........you can't clean your house with your child at home?

I suggest you get a good rule/policy/handbook together that spells out a lot of things for your parents. Learn it well and stick to it. You sound like your getting the hang of it and there is no doubt in my mind that your hormones are going boing right now.....and thats ok. Your allowed!!!

[My3cents]

Exactly why I won't be allowing her to schedule late pick ups anymore. Also yeah...cleaning is apparently more important than me giving birth. I wish I could have a day to clean by myself. We'll see what she says when I tell her I'm not allowing her special time anymore...

you go---- look forward to an update on how that works out for you. I hate it when I see another provider being used.
best-

[SunshineMama]

I'm getting really tired of my one dcm constantly bringing up how much of an inconvenience it is to her that I'll be closing "without warning" for 2 weeks (unpaid) when I have my baby.

She literally had the balls this morning to say that I originally said I would stay open using my sub the entire time (my sub that she didn't like me hiring mind you) and so she is upset I lied to her. I didn't. I originally said 1 week closed back in December but changed it to 2 weeks when dh threw a fit. So I told her accordingly that same month and then reiterated it verbally since then every month and also sent out a letter last week reiterating my pregnancy plan...2 weeks closed unpaid with my sub ready to take over when I go into labor.

She also said this morning that I needed to give her an exact day I plan to pop out this baby. Seriously? Her child was a month early with complications and I'm sure she wasn't asked to work through it...

I'm tired of it. She just won't leave it alone. I wanted to tell her if it's that bad then she should leave....she already is a pain in my rear due to her using over 10 hours a day (paid now but she will probably complain about that soon since it won't be noticeable to her until she uses a full week the next week) and has been just testing my patience on everything lately. I swear if she comes back whining tonight I'm just gonna write her a lovely goodbye note...save myself on some money on paying my assistant since that leaves me with families that only use 9 hours a day...

Ok...vent over...back to my regularly scheduled morning...

I didnt read the other comments. But, if I were you Id dump her in a heartbeat. When I had my baby, my dcps TOLD me to take at least 6 weeks off, and recover.

Thank God I did- I was very ill after having the baby, and the baby had MSPI. It was the worst month ever. If I had daycare kids at my house it would have ended me!

[Kabob]

I plan to tell her no more today...would it be mean of me to say: "Good news! I found a way to save you money on your daycare bill! I'm not caring for your child past 5pm anymore!"