Maybe I'm Just Crabby But...

[MarinaVanessa]

If she continues these conversations just be blunt and tell her they are becoming redundant and you will not entertain them any longer. She can follow your current policies and there is no need to continue discussing them. If she continues to talk about policies or pregnancy plans she should consider it her 2 weeks notice. I would have lost my patience for this by now...

"You know Susan, it really feels as if you are the one that is unhappy with me and my daycare. You keep calling it a "rate increase" but no matter how many times you want to call it that it's not what it is. Only you control what your rate is, if it's too much for you to pay then you can always reduce your daycare hours. The rate is the rate. If you work more, you get paid more. If you need more daycare hours you pay more. For a long time you got a discount which I cannot afford to give you any more and I feel that now that I can't give it you aren't grateful for my kindness.

And this whole round and round thing about it and my pregnancy among other little things is really getting tiresome and it's unnecessary. As far as my pregnancy goes, why don't you tell me when I'm going into labor. You know as much as I do as to when that would be.

I made changes that needed to be done for the whole of the group and for my business. For whatever reason you are taking it personal and it isn't. I like having you here however if the changes and implementation of policies that were already in place are not working for you and you need a different child care provider I will understand with no hard feelings. However, and let me be clear about this... today is the last day that I will be discussing these topics with you. I have discussed them with you already and no matter how many times you bring it up the answer is still the same"

Thats how I would handle it anyway.

And if she brought it up again I would completely ignore her and talk about something else like her childs day.

good grief.

[KiddieCahoots]

Good grief is right!
The cycle of emotions used when someone is trying to dodge the factual outcome.......
first tears ....
finally anger.....
All while clinging to denial and trying to turn the tables back onto us.....
I'm sorry, maybe that's a little extreme, but she just isn't hearing you. Sounds like your doing your best to get through to her too.
I'm so sorry she is doing this to you, totally selfish on her part!

[SignMeUp]

Good grief is right!
The cycle of emotions used when someone is trying to dodge the factual outcome.......
first tears ....
finally anger.....

Wow. My whole past two weeks suddenly become clear

[My3cents]

I honestly was so tired (3ish hours of sleep...yay insomnia) that I didn't have a snappy comeback when she asked why I simply couldn't stay open the entire time. I jumbled together something about not feeling safe or comfortable staying open after talking to my licensor. Sigh...I'll have to clarify that one....my dad is a contractor and plans to stay with us while I'm closed so that he can fix/add some stuff for us (install an extra door in the garage for instance) so I wouldn't feel safe with the kids around that plus I don't think I'm allowed to do that kind of thing during daycare. Plus, as already mentioned, I too am the kind of person that wouldn't be able to relax while there are other kids here...I would want to jump in too...plus this is my own home.

And let's just say I live in crazy backwards world and I did say I'd be open instead of closed back in December. It doesn't matter now because what I put in writing now is that I will be closed. And it's my business. If I want to say everyone must wear pink tutus one week and the next week I send a letter saying everyone wears pants only then that nulls and voids what I said previously. The past is the past and what is happening now is what matters. Besides...I could have complications and need to close longer. Who knows?

I get that I need to be reliable so I totally am planning on everyone jumping ship and I wouldn't blame them...but goodness I don't need to be badgered every week about it...I'm not going to be duped into doing something that would make my family very unhappy...

Plus...both my licensor and food program rep think I'm crazy for only closing for 2 weeks...they both have said that most providers around here close at least for 4 weeks (mostly paid) and think I'm cutting myself too short. My licensor told me to tell dcm to "get over it." ::

maternity leave is 6 weeks for most jobs
Canada its a year!!!

That bonding time is critical for you and your baby.

Nicely tell this client what she wants to know and that would be that she is done on such and such a date. Get clients in that will appreciate you and all you do.

You should get a two week paid vacation and in the event of having a baby I would use that time for that. Then I would save up and take as much time off as you can. You will loose clients because they are depending upon a service, but some might come back to you and go somewhere else temporary. I am learning that we providers need to look out for what is best for our families and our lives, because that is what everyone else is doing. I try hard to do that with as much understanding and kindness as possible.

Best and I wish you a safe wonderful deliverylovethis of your new addition

[My3cents]

I think she's looking for an excuse too. I really would be happy if she left at this point. She's the one that gave me an attitude and then backed off when confronted about it...she said she just was having a bad day but it seems now that she just is festering over my pregnancy and it is showing in the way she talks to me now. I get it. It's an inconvenience. I'm not expecting her or anyone else to stay. I'm not expecting to get paid during this. I just expect respect. I don't even know why I tried to justify my closure to her....me having a baby should be all she needs to know. you got it!!!

I guess I'm just tossing around the idea of giving her an easy out at this point....maybe I'll type up something during naptime....she's the only one complaining...everyone else has already made plans. Again, even my licensor was shocked at her behavior...she has had months to make a backup plan and yet again this morning was asking me what I expect her to do for 2 weeks... She is causing you stress. She has an entitled attitude and is pushing this on you- don't let her. I am closing when I have the baby and you will need to have back up care for the time that I am closed. End it. If she starts her poo then just tell her look I think you need to make other plans for daycare altogether, we are not meshing very well and I am done with this. Consider this your two week notice.

Urgh...I don't know why this is bothering me so much...

because your prego and your hormones are multi faceting and you care~

I responded above in hopefully red
best-

[My3cents]

It doesn't help that her child happens to be in a difficult phase right now...her diapers are leaking again and she is teething on everything and not listening and is throwing things and screaming at drop off again and not napping quietly and so forth...gotta love "terrible twos". ::

leaking diapers- unsanitary Mom I need diapers that fit properly

The two's........well that is part of doing daycare and the age.

This is your business and you need to take it on and own it. You will be respected if you don't allow a client to walk on you. I get the feeling this mom intimidates you and some do, you just can't allow it.

[My3cents]

You know how to put an end to the comments quick?

Next time she makes one say, "DCM, this seems to really be an issue for you. Should I write up your 2 weeks notice of termination?"

Don't you dare justify or explain things anymore! 2 weeks is nothing after having a baby.

[My3cents]

I guess I'm just annoyed because I will be closed for way less time than anyone else in the area and without pay (another rarity here) and yet that's cause for her to try to dump guilt on me. I guess we'll see what she says at pick up...I'm not worried if anyone jumps ship...I managed to set aside quite a bit of money that will last us for a while even without me making income (you never know)...just feel like a b-word for dumping her right before the baby is due.

Listen Shish-

your not that b word. This is your business! You can't get that precious time back with your baby. Enjoy it. Use paid vacation time. Very few perks to this job, take the ones that you can. Paid vacations, paid holidays, and personal days. This is called being good to yourself. Your not dumping her your giving her a choice, she can either respect you or decide she is not going to. Stop giving her so much of yourself. Be brief and to the point and say what you want and what you plan to do- If this client jumps ship it sounds like it would be doing you a big favor.

[CraftyMom]

I'm getting really tired of my one dcm constantly bringing up how much of an inconvenience it is to her that I'll be closing "without warning" for 2 weeks (unpaid) when I have my baby.

I just want to say this line is hilarious! Because a growing belly isn't enough warning? ::

Unless you aren't showing yet

[My3cents]

I guess I'm just annoyed because I will be closed for way less time than anyone else in the area and without pay (another rarity here) and yet that's cause for her to try to dump guilt on me. I guess we'll see what she says at pick up...I'm not worried if anyone jumps ship...I managed to set aside quite a bit of money that will last us for a while even without me making income (you never know)...just feel like a b-word for dumping her right before the baby is due.

another thing is you don't know if you will need two weeks or longer. I pray you have a safe and quick delivery but if you end up needing an emergency c-section you might need more time off then two weeks- don't put up with this rude client anymore, your worth more then this and so is your child. lovethis

[My3cents]

I do think you have gone crazy...for only taking 2 weeks off...and unpaid!! Give yourself time to recover and bond with that new baby! If dcm doesn't like it too bad! She will move on and forget all about you! That baby however isn't going anywhere and these first days are very few and very special, don't deny yourself something so important to please ANYONE! You won't get this time back!

listen to this real good advise- because its true and its from seasoned providers-

[Luna]

"You know Susan, it really feels as if you are the one that is unhappy with me and my daycare. You keep calling it a "rate increase" but no matter how many times you want to call it that it's not what it is. Only you control what your rate is, if it's too much for you to pay then you can always reduce your daycare hours. The rate is the rate. If you work more, you get paid more. If you need more daycare hours you pay more. For a long time you got a discount which I cannot afford to give you any more and I feel that now that I can't give it you aren't grateful for my kindness.

And this whole round and round thing about it and my pregnancy among other little things is really getting tiresome and it's unnecessary. As far as my pregnancy goes, why don't you tell me when I'm going into labor. You know as much as I do as to when that would be.

I made changes that needed to be done for the whole of the group and for my business. For whatever reason you are taking it personal and it isn't. I like having you here however if the changes and implementation of policies that were already in place are not working for you and you need a different child care provider I will understand with no hard feelings. However, and let me be clear about this... today is the last day that I will be discussing these topics with you. I have discussed them with you already and no matter how many times you bring it up the answer is still the same"

I think this is perfect. Call her and read this over the phone, or text it to her, or copy/paste and email it to her, print it out and put it in her hand...this is the information she needs.
I'm getting angry for you. I hope you can put an end to it soon and have some peace. You do NOT need this aggravation! It isn't good for you and your baby! Please tune her in!
:hug:

[My3cents]

Eh...I've been called crazy before...my food program rep insists I'm cutting myself short and my family is rooting for me to take more days off.

I guess I do feel bad leaving people in the lurch even though I don't have to feel bad...I am crazy like that.

Dcm didn't say anything at pick up...grabbed her child and practically ran...so I guess I'll see her tomorrow....

listen to others around you that have your back. They are right, your cutting yourself short

She would think nothing of dumping you for a better opportunity to better herself. Not that I feel we should live tit to tat but this client is rude to you and playing on your niceties. Let it go........tell her what your doing and then let her decide what she wants to do, but what you do is not let her make you feel bad about it one more second. When she complains, just tell her I guess your going to have to make other arrangements if your not happy with the way I have decided to take my maternity leave.

I know I have responded a lot to this. I just get compassionate about helping others and I read and respond.......and forget to read all the way through the thread before responding. I get excited like a little puppy when I can help someone else out. I was so fortunate to all of you when you helped me out and still am very grateful lovethis

[My3cents]

Sigh...why do the parents always have to cry when I suggest they go elsewhere?

Dcm came in today and asked again about my plan for closing for maternity leave. I reiterated it again and told her that since she seems so concerned about it then maybe she would be happier finding another daycare that fit her needs better. She started crying and said she's happy here and is loyal and wouldn't leave me but is having a hard time with all the "constant changes" I've been making. She said, for instance, my recent "rate increase" has been hard on her and she doesn't know how long she can afford it and feels I did it because she did something wrong. I pointed out it wasn't a rate increase but a part of her contract that I was waiving up until recently because I needed to do what was financially best for the daycare and was a business decision not a personal one. She then asked if I would be changing the contract soon. I told her there was no need right now and it doesn't expire until December anyway. She tried to insist it did but I reminded her again it doesn't. Then she said she is having a hard time with the time change I made for breakfast because dcg won't eat at home. I told her that dcg won't eat breakfast early her and that I am sticking to that change as well since dcg eats better with a later breakfast. Then dcm asked again about whether I hated her and again I said no...I need to run a business. Dcm said (still crying) she wants to stay here because it is really hard for her to switch daycares but my "rate increase" has caused me to be more expensive than the center she was at before (not true and besides...she could easily lower her rate by arranging to pick up earlier than 10.5 hours). I said well, you gotta do what's best for your family and I gotta do what's best for mine. It does not make good business sense for me to continue to work for free as it was costing me a lot, as you can now see since I've passed that cost on to you...besides, I now have an assistant to consider who is highly qualified and deserved to get paid her fair share too. Dcm then left crying saying she hopes I'm in this for the long haul with her and that I won't term her because she's been making a lot of changes to accommodate me.

I don't even know what to think anymore...normally I would feel bad but I mainly feel that I've been more than accommodating for her and a lot of her issues are a result of her refusing to adjust...but maybe that's just me being selfish...

Stick to your policies. She doesn't have to like them. She is playing you like a fiddle. She knows how to manipulate you. Why is her kid in care for 10.5 hours a day. I would reduce this- your a provide not a sitter. Unless she has a long commute and is paying you well for that time I would let her know that her child is not to be in care for those long days. When does she spend any time with her kiddo? I am guessing she has weird hours.

Be nice and kind but don't be walked on.

[cheerfuldom]

"You know Susan, it really feels as if you are the one that is unhappy with me and my daycare. You keep calling it a "rate increase" but no matter how many times you want to call it that it's not what it is. Only you control what your rate is, if it's too much for you to pay then you can always reduce your daycare hours. The rate is the rate. If you work more, you get paid more. If you need more daycare hours you pay more. For a long time you got a discount which I cannot afford to give you any more and I feel that now that I can't give it you aren't grateful for my kindness.

And this whole round and round thing about it and my pregnancy among other little things is really getting tiresome and it's unnecessary. As far as my pregnancy goes, why don't you tell me when I'm going into labor. You know as much as I do as to when that would be.

I made changes that needed to be done for the whole of the group and for my business. For whatever reason you are taking it personal and it isn't. I like having you here however if the changes and implementation of policies that were already in place are not working for you and you need a different child care provider I will understand with no hard feelings. However, and let me be clear about this... today is the last day that I will be discussing these topics with you. I have discussed them with you already and no matter how many times you bring it up the answer is still the same"

Thats how I would handle it anyway.

And if she brought it up again I would completely ignore her and talk about something else like her childs day.

good grief.

the bolded is what I would say and all I would say. Some parents need one firm statement repeated over and over. Do not get baited into anymore conversations. She is child that is trying to wear you down by asking over and over if she can have her way. Seriously, she is using child like behavior. The tears are all part of plan B...."once asking and asking doesn't work, then I will start crying and see where it gets me". Some people never grow up. I have a few phrases that i use for these parents.

"XYX is not negotiable"
"We have already discussed XYZ and you know where I stand on it so this discussion is over"
"You already know m policy regarding XYZ so now you need to decide if you can adjust to that or if you need to provide a two weeks notice"
"This discussion is over. You need to leave"

Seriously, STOP getting into these discussions. End it, right now.

I bet the other part of this issue is that she is jealous of your baby......the newborn that will be taking time and attention away from her princess. Its an issue we here on the forum dont talk about much but i have experienced several times. Parents that go ape-crazy and get jealous and demanding right around when your child is going to be born. They are wanting to test out the new pecking order and make sure they and their special snowflake are still on top. You are showing them she is not number one at your house and she isnt going to like that.

For me, I would just give do an immediate termination on Friday and be done with it. Two weeks notice period is going to be a nightmare with her.