Maybe I'm Just Crabby But...

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I honestly was so tired (3ish hours of sleep...yay insomnia) that I didn't have a snappy comeback when she asked why I simply couldn't stay open the entire time. I jumbled together something about not feeling safe or comfortable staying open after talking to my licensor. Sigh...I'll have to clarify that one....my dad is a contractor and plans to stay with us while I'm closed so that he can fix/add some stuff for us (install an extra door in the garage for instance) so I wouldn't feel safe with the kids around that plus I don't think I'm allowed to do that kind of thing during daycare. Plus, as already mentioned, I too am the kind of person that wouldn't be able to relax while there are other kids here...I would want to jump in too...plus this is my own home.

And let's just say I live in crazy backwards world and I did say I'd be open instead of closed back in December. It doesn't matter now because what I put in writing now is that I will be closed. And it's my business. If I want to say everyone must wear pink tutus one week and the next week I send a letter saying everyone wears pants only then that nulls and voids what I said previously. The past is the past and what is happening now is what matters. Besides...I could have complications and need to close longer. Who knows?

I get that I need to be reliable so I totally am planning on everyone jumping ship and I wouldn't blame them...but goodness I don't need to be badgered every week about it...I'm not going to be duped into doing something that would make my family very unhappy...

Plus...both my licensor and food program rep think I'm crazy for only closing for 2 weeks...they both have said that most providers around here close at least for 4 weeks (mostly paid) and think I'm cutting myself too short. My licensor told me to tell dcm to "get over it." ::

I closed for 2 FULL weeks (and a Friday that I spent birthing her!) last year. I not only had 0 people jump ship but I had people enroll throughout my pregnancy AND right before she was born. 2 kids began care here the week I had her!!!! You will be fine and it might be best to get rid of crazy mom.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

you know how to put an end to the comments quick?

Next time she makes one say, "dcm, this seems to really be an issue for you. Should i write up your 2 weeks notice of termination?"

don't you dare justify or explain things anymore! 2 weeks is nothing after having a baby.

amen!!!!!

[Kabob]

I closed for 2 FULL weeks (and a Friday that I spent birthing her!) last year. I not only had 0 people jump ship but I had people enroll throughout my pregnancy AND right before she was born. 2 kids began care here the week I had her!!!! You will be fine and it might be best to get rid of crazy mom.

I guess I'm just annoyed because I will be closed for way less time than anyone else in the area and without pay (another rarity here) and yet that's cause for her to try to dump guilt on me. I guess we'll see what she says at pick up...I'm not worried if anyone jumps ship...I managed to set aside quite a bit of money that will last us for a while even without me making income (you never know)...just feel like a b-word for dumping her right before the baby is due.

[Oss_cc]

I guess I'm just annoyed because I will be closed for way less time than anyone else in the area and without pay (another rarity here) and yet that's cause for her to try to dump guilt on me. I guess we'll see what she says at pick up...I'm not worried if anyone jumps ship...I managed to set aside quite a bit of money that will last us for a while even without me making income (you never know)...just feel like a b-word for dumping her right before the baby is due.

Don't feel like that! She's the one being rude and ridiculous. I can't imagine any of my current DCPs acting this way if I were pregnant. If they did, I'd give them the boot!
Sorry, I was wayyyy to hormonal to put up with nonsense like that when I was pregnant. I worked retail with my first, and it was a trial! ::

[Kabob]

Thanks guys...if it wasn't for this forum, I probably would either think I'm being hormonal or I just would've gone crazy. It seems to be the parents that like to test me more than the kids....the kids learn quickly at least...I can't tell you how often I've had to enforce the same policy on the same parents this past week...I should have a $5 per reminder fee or something to see if it sticks...::

[CraftyMom]

Thanks guys...if it wasn't for this forum, I probably would either think I'm being hormonal or I just would've gone crazy. It seems to be the parents that like to test me more than the kids....the kids learn quickly at least...I can't tell you how often I've had to enforce the same policy on the same parents this past week...I should have a $5 per reminder fee or something to see if it sticks...::

I do think you have gone crazy...for only taking 2 weeks off...and unpaid!! Give yourself time to recover and bond with that new baby! If dcm doesn't like it too bad! She will move on and forget all about you! That baby however isn't going anywhere and these first days are very few and very special, don't deny yourself something so important to please ANYONE! You won't get this time back!

[KiddieCahoots]

I do think you have gone crazy...for only taking 2 weeks off...and unpaid!! Give yourself time to recover and bond with that new baby! If dcm doesn't like it too bad! She will move on and forget all about you! That baby however isn't going anywhere and these first days are very few and very special, don't deny yourself something so important to please ANYONE! You won't get this time back!

lovethis Perfectly put!
Kabob you obviously have a big heart. Don't let this dcm play it against you! You don't owe her diddlie squat!

[Kabob]

Eh...I've been called crazy before...my food program rep insists I'm cutting myself short and my family is rooting for me to take more days off.

I guess I do feel bad leaving people in the lurch even though I don't have to feel bad...I am crazy like that.

Dcm didn't say anything at pick up...grabbed her child and practically ran...so I guess I'll see her tomorrow....

[drseuss]

I keep reading this thread and getting cranky on your behalf! ::

I may be soured from experience, but that is not a family that I would want to be working with.

Have that baby and enjoy it and take care of you and your family first.

[Kabob]

Sigh...why do the parents always have to cry when I suggest they go elsewhere?

Dcm came in today and asked again about my plan for closing for maternity leave. I reiterated it again and told her that since she seems so concerned about it then maybe she would be happier finding another daycare that fit her needs better. She started crying and said she's happy here and is loyal and wouldn't leave me but is having a hard time with all the "constant changes" I've been making. She said, for instance, my recent "rate increase" has been hard on her and she doesn't know how long she can afford it and feels I did it because she did something wrong. I pointed out it wasn't a rate increase but a part of her contract that I was waiving up until recently because I needed to do what was financially best for the daycare and was a business decision not a personal one. She then asked if I would be changing the contract soon. I told her there was no need right now and it doesn't expire until December anyway. She tried to insist it did but I reminded her again it doesn't. Then she said she is having a hard time with the time change I made for breakfast because dcg won't eat at home. I told her that dcg won't eat breakfast early her and that I am sticking to that change as well since dcg eats better with a later breakfast. Then dcm asked again about whether I hated her and again I said no...I need to run a business. Dcm said (still crying) she wants to stay here because it is really hard for her to switch daycares but my "rate increase" has caused me to be more expensive than the center she was at before (not true and besides...she could easily lower her rate by arranging to pick up earlier than 10.5 hours). I said well, you gotta do what's best for your family and I gotta do what's best for mine. It does not make good business sense for me to continue to work for free as it was costing me a lot, as you can now see since I've passed that cost on to you...besides, I now have an assistant to consider who is highly qualified and deserved to get paid her fair share too. Dcm then left crying saying she hopes I'm in this for the long haul with her and that I won't term her because she's been making a lot of changes to accommodate me.

I don't even know what to think anymore...normally I would feel bad but I mainly feel that I've been more than accommodating for her and a lot of her issues are a result of her refusing to adjust...but maybe that's just me being selfish...

[cara041083]

Sigh...why do the parents always have to cry when I suggest they go elsewhere?

Dcm came in today and asked again about my plan for closing for maternity leave. I reiterated it again and told her that since she seems so concerned about it then maybe she would be happier finding another daycare that fit her needs better. She started crying and said she's happy here and is loyal and wouldn't leave me but is having a hard time with all the "constant changes" I've been making. She said, for instance, my recent "rate increase" has been hard on her and she doesn't know how long she can afford it and feels I did it because she did something wrong. I pointed out it wasn't a rate increase but a part of her contract that I was waiving up until recently because I needed to do what was financially best for the daycare and was a business decision not a personal one. She then asked if I would be changing the contract soon. I told her there was no need right now and it doesn't expire until December anyway. She tried to insist it did but I reminded her again it doesn't. Then she said she is having a hard time with the time change I made for breakfast because dcg won't eat at home. I told her that dcg won't eat breakfast early her and that I am sticking to that change as well since dcg eats better with a later breakfast. Then dcm asked again about whether I hated her and again I said no...I need to run a business. Dcm said (still crying) she wants to stay here because it is really hard for her to switch daycares but my "rate increase" has caused me to be more expensive than the center she was at before (not true and besides...she could easily lower her rate by arranging to pick up earlier than 10.5 hours). I said well, you gotta do what's best for your family and I gotta do what's best for mine. It does not make good business sense for me to continue to work for free as it was costing me a lot, as you can now see since I've passed that cost on to you...besides, I now have an assistant to consider who is highly qualified and deserved to get paid her fair share too. Dcm then left crying saying she hopes I'm in this for the long haul with her and that I won't term her because she's been making a lot of changes to accommodate me.

I don't even know what to think anymore...normally I would feel bad but I mainly feel that I've been more than accommodating for her and a lot of her issues are a result of her refusing to adjust...but maybe that's just me being selfish...

It is not your job to feel bad for her. All she is doing is trying to make you feel bad. I would hand her a term letter and BE DONE! You have tried to be nice and understand and she has fought you every step in the way. Trust me, the first morning that you don't have to deal with her, will be one of the best mornings you have had in a long time. I had one parent do this to me and after she realized I WAS the best place for her child, she has been begging to come back and still is to this day! Hold your ground and don't let her push you around.:hug:

[Kabob]

It is not your job to feel bad for her. All she is doing is trying to make you feel bad. I would hand her a term letter and BE DONE! You have tried to be nice and understand and she has fought you every step in the way. Trust me, the first morning that you don't have to deal with her, will be one of the best mornings you have had in a long time. I had one parent do this to me and after she realized I WAS the best place for her child, she has been begging to come back and still is to this day! Hold your ground and don't let her push you around.:hug:

I know she is only saying what she needs to say so I won't term her before she finds different care but I can't help but feel bad even thinking about terming her. Some days I work 10 hours anyway but I don't have anyone other than her that stays the full 10 hours (and then some in her case). She just has been dragging on me lately so that 10 hours just drags on for some reason...

I am so happy I got an assistant anyway...it's nice to have an adult to talk to and have back up...so even if dcm leaves I'm keeping the assistant for the remainder of my pregnancy (and maybe a bit afterwards).

[CraftyMom]

You should let her know that she is not accommodating you, it's called following polices because this is the daycare she chose. She could choose another where she won't have to be so "accommodating". That would have irked me, the fact that she thinks she is being accommodating by following rules

[Kabob]

You should let her know that she is not accommodating you, it's called following polices because this is the daycare she chose. She could choose another where she won't have to be so "accommodating". That would have irked me, the fact that she thinks she is being accommodating by following rules

True but I haven't been open for a year yet and she was my first client...so as I learned and adjusted along the way, she has had to adjust as well. So I get where she's coming from but the only big change I made was the rate structure and my hours back in December (she's been with me since July). The rest were smaller changes like putting loveys in the cubbies instead of letting them carry it around all day...

[NeedaVaca]

If she continues these conversations just be blunt and tell her they are becoming redundant and you will not entertain them any longer. She can follow your current policies and there is no need to continue discussing them. If she continues to talk about policies or pregnancy plans she should consider it her 2 weeks notice. I would have lost my patience for this by now...