Maybe I'm Just Crabby But...

[My3cents]

True but I haven't been open for a year yet and she was my first client...so as I learned and adjusted along the way, she has had to adjust as well. So I get where she's coming from but the only big change I made was the rate structure and my hours back in December (she's been with me since July). The rest were smaller changes like putting loveys in the cubbies instead of letting them carry it around all day...

give yourself a break........there is a learning curve here. Read the boards, tons of info at your finger tips that will help you become stronger and have a wonderful backbone for dealing with clients. This lady is not your friend, she is a business client. Treat her that way and all others. Its not personal it is just business. Then when she pulls out the tears on you, you just stare at her and say nothing. You don't back down from what you believe in. You don't let clients personal problems become your own.

For me what I do, is change my policy/contract/hand/rule book once a year. Usually the beginning of the year- January Unless its something important that I need to address then and there. I put up with changes until this time if possible so that I am not all over the place with my business decisions. The first three years your going to learn a lot and make a ton of changes. Be good to yourself or you will burn out!!!

[saved4always]

The crying is just manipulative. She wants you to feel bad for her and give in to her by making a crying scene. If it was really less expensive at the old daycare she would go back there. She was getting a deal and she is not happy that she has to pay a fair price now for the time she is using. I used to charge more per day if the contracted hours were more than 8.5 hours. 10 or more is just a crazy long day and should be paid extra for.

Do what is best for your business and for your family. Take the time you need to have your baby and enjoy those first weeks with him/her. Every mom needs to recuperate from birth, even in the case of an "easy" delivery. Make sure you get the rest and time with your new baby you need. Do not let her make you feel bad about what all moms need. Babies grow up fast...mine are 12, 19 and 21 and it feels like I just had them. Don't let some selfish parent make you feel guilty or ruin this time for you.

:hug:

[kitykids3]

That emotional guilt trip she just tried pulling on you is ridiculous. Does she go into other places of business that she uses and do that c$*#? That would have been my final straw and I would have told her that her daycare is ending in 2 weeks. Wow, the nerve. You have more patience than I do with the adults. You've got enough to worry about than her issues. And if the other daycare was cheaper and she can't afford you any longer, then tell her to go back there. Ugh!

[taylorw1210]

Seriously? She cried?

Goodbye, DCM!

[kitykids3]

Or maybe the next time she wants to discuss this with you, you can tell her you will now be taking 4 weeks off with her because of the extra stress she is putting on you and you'll need the extra rest from it.

[saved4always]

Or maybe the next time she wants to discuss this with you, you can tell her you will now be taking 4 weeks off with her because of the extra stress she is putting on you and you'll need the extra rest from it.

[KiddieCahoots]

Wow. My whole past two weeks suddenly become clear

LOL! I know, maybe a little too much
I can't help but get all flamed when I read what this dcm is doing.

Kabob your about to bring your little wonder into the world. Your future memories about this time are so important. This dcm should not be part of the equation....don't allow her to be.

Everybody here gives such good advice!
My3cents....love how you put it!

[Unregistered]

The tears spring forth because she NEEDS you to continue looking after her child now, until she succeeds in finding alternative care. She will want to end things on her terms and timing, not yours.

[Unregistered]

Good God! This parent is nuts!
Sounds like she is just looking for you to give her an excuse to leave at this point. So give her one.....her 2 weeks notice! Lol!
The undue anxiety she is causing you and your baby at a time that is suppose to be joyful. Ugh! I'll never understand how some parents can act like this!

This!

[Kabob]

"You know Susan, it really feels as if you are the one that is unhappy with me and my daycare. You keep calling it a "rate increase" but no matter how many times you want to call it that it's not what it is. Only you control what your rate is, if it's too much for you to pay then you can always reduce your daycare hours. The rate is the rate. If you work more, you get paid more. If you need more daycare hours you pay more. For a long time you got a discount which I cannot afford to give you any more and I feel that now that I can't give it you aren't grateful for my kindness.

And this whole round and round thing about it and my pregnancy among other little things is really getting tiresome and it's unnecessary. As far as my pregnancy goes, why don't you tell me when I'm going into labor. You know as much as I do as to when that would be.

I made changes that needed to be done for the whole of the group and for my business. For whatever reason you are taking it personal and it isn't. I like having you here however if the changes and implementation of policies that were already in place are not working for you and you need a different child care provider I will understand with no hard feelings. However, and let me be clear about this... today is the last day that I will be discussing these topics with you. I have discussed them with you already and no matter how many times you bring it up the answer is still the same"

Thats how I would handle it anyway.

And if she brought it up again I would completely ignore her and talk about something else like her childs day.

good grief.

I agree with this...I have basically said this to her repeatedly in not so many words...mainly: "The plan hasn't changed but I will tell you if it does." Or "I'm doing what's best for everyone/the business. " I feel like she jumps me and then dumps on me....lately I'm exhausted from lack of sleep (I'm 34 weeks pregnant and feeling it!) so she seems to almost intentionally be timing her barrage in the mornings. I don't think as clearly to be honest and then am angry with myself for botching another conversation. I really just need to tell her this isn't the time to be asking me questions as I'm busy...

Stick to your policies. She doesn't have to like them. She is playing you like a fiddle. She knows how to manipulate you. Why is her kid in care for 10.5 hours a day. I would reduce this- your a provide not a sitter. Unless she has a long commute and is paying you well for that time I would let her know that her child is not to be in care for those long days. When does she spend any time with her kiddo? I am guessing she has weird hours.

Be nice and kind but don't be walked on.

She actually schedules herself 10+ hours a day so she can have 3 consecutive days off (or more) a week. She told me this back in December when I changed my rates to reflect pick up time. She said she was never going to change her hours because she likes her days off and her dh can never drop off or pick up because he works 30 minutes away and doesn't get the routine. So now I charge her for the time used because I was stupid and let her get a $5 a day discount and now she's freaking because she says she needs that discount to stay here. Not my fault she won't change her hours or make dh pick up. She knows she let it slip that he can pick up on some days but chooses not to...so she thinks I'm doing this as punishment. That's my thoughts anyway.

She's not even full time...her schedule varies from 2 to 4 days a week depending on her needs.

I guess it boils down to me just being angry at myself for accommodating her and then her turning around and claiming it's me she's accommodating when she hasn't changed anything...and won't.

I'm just too worn out to be angry at her...just annoyed...she's my new drama mama and she just wants me to cave and say "sure we'll go back to that discounted rate and feel free to continue scheduling long days for dcg." But I'm too tired to want to go back to that...those last few minutes drag on for everyone. I'm hoping she figures out what she wants to do soon because at this rate, I'm not keeping her.

Oh and I did tell her that I could possibly be closed for longer if something goes wrong or I need more rest than anticipated. She was not pleased but I was surprisingly calm (dh says I made her cry because I was too unemotional and didn't mention that I wanted her to stay)...I think I just wasn't processing her attitude quick enough to get mad.

[Kabob]

Again, I appreciate all of your input! Gives me the knowledge I need to do what's best and gives me a place to constructively vent.

And My3cents, I also appreciate your passion on the matter.

Sometimes I forget how much this affects my family too...even my unborn child...as silly as that sounds.

[TheGoodLife]

She's not even full time...her schedule varies from 2 to 4 days a week depending on her needs.

I'm hoping she figures out what she wants to do soon because at this rate, I'm not keeping her.

Personally, for your sanity and for the baby, I'd term now. If you know she's going to be gone anyways, and right now she's just making you stressed and TRYING to get to you when you're more vulnerable (in the mornings). So disrespectful and deserves to be the one getting termed, not terming you when she gets things situated- I can see it being a no notice/ high stress situation anyways. So sorry you have to deal with this, when this should be a nice, happy time for you in your pregnancy!

[kitykids3]

Again, I appreciate all of your input! Gives me the knowledge I need to do what's best and gives me a place to constructively vent.

And My3cents, I also appreciate your passion on the matter.

Sometimes I forget how much this affects my family too...even my unborn child...as silly as that sounds.

That's just it, the negative stress is already having an effect on your unborn LO. Really, you should just tell her you're done, no more chances. Write up a note and tell her when her last day is. It's not worth it to have that stress and manipulation on you or your baby.

[NeedaVaca]

I don't know how your pay scale is set up but for a schedule like she has, she is still taking a full time spot. You can't take other kids since her schedule changes. She's lucky you aren't charging her a full time rate (assuming it's more than what she currently pays).

[MarinaVanessa]

Again, I appreciate all of your input! Gives me the knowledge I need to do what's best and gives me a place to constructively vent.

And My3cents, I also appreciate your passion on the matter.

Sometimes I forget how much this affects my family too...even my unborn child...as silly as that sounds.

That's not silly. You don't need to be going into early labor because of stress. You run a daycare but you're a mom first