Spin Off From Parents Thread

[daycare]

With all due respect Daycare, I did not call anyone names. I did say that she "seems to have a superiority complex", and if that is what you are referring to, then I own it, AND I meant it.

Additionally, it has been implied that I am a liar or misinformed, that I must not be capable of handling 14 children on field trips because I choose to not take that liability, that I and every other provider who doesn't give kids special moments by taking them on frequent field trips ****, etc. etc. etc. I thought I was handling my responses well, but I guess you disagree.

Immediatley following Michelle's post about her call to licensing I said 2 words "Thank You" only to get "talked down to" yet again. THAT was unwarranted, and YES, it made me mad. I do not take my job lightly, I work VERY hard and have for the past 16 years to offer a high quality program. If someone wants to intentionally insult and offend me, implying that because they do things differently then I ****, then they ARE going to to be told how I feel.

I doubt that you would appreciate or allow someone to insult your professionalism and integrity without defending yourself....why should I?

why does retaliation have to be your only option?

[Crystal]

why does retaliation have to be your only option?

Good grief, how have I retaliated????

[Crystal]

Ya know what? Nevermind. I am beyond done.

Peace.

[julie]

Well, do what you need to do, but consider that you started the thread and then proceeded to offend many here with zero acknowledgement of that.

When you were told you were coming off the way you were, instead of taking a step back you drilled in more digs implying that you're better than others because you go and do all sorts of things and are more capable of keeping children safe than others - on the flip side of that then saying that anyone that brings in a reputable repairman is endangering the kids in their care.

Whether all that was intentional or not is debatable but that's how it came off.

Everyone who does things differently is boring and/or negligent and you're just awesome


(Not saying you're not awesome, because from what I've read you do just fine for yourself, but there's never just one right way of doing things when it comes to childcare.)

Yup! Exactly this. Look if you are going to start a fire in the kitchen, you kind of have to take the heat. You started out this thread on the offensive and you have continued that way on the offensive about MANY topics. Any biting remarks you have gotten back have been from people on the DEfensive. And they have been mighty classy about it especially with some of the insinuations you have made about the quality of care they offer. If you are going to generalize, people are going to take offense and call you on it. If you are so awesome and a nice person in real life, that's great. You are not showing that side here. So maybe just take some time out and go be an awesome care provider instead of being condescending to everyone who does it just a little differently that you do? Because we might happen to be pretty awesome ourselves, we are just not shouting it from the rooftops or starting threads to make others feel bad. Food for thought.

[Country Kids]

I think for the CA providers the best thing to do is not talk about your rules and regulations! There is to many variables each time you guys discuss them.

In the transportation thread, no one knew anything about the transportation slip that Crystal kept talking about, yet that stayed pretty civil towards her. In the end it was found out that not everyone needed them, yet Crystal was stating they did when actually it must just be for her area.

Michelle was stating what she had been told for years and everyone jumps all over her. It happens to all of us when it comes to licensing-whats good for one person, isn't good for the next and CA seems to be the worse according to the stories here.

Same with the immunization slips, sounds like some licensor say just recopy on blue paper and others say you have to have the official copy.

When it comes to these types of things, lets all step back and realize we are in this together and the more we fight less support we feel. I think its absolutely wonderful that Michelle takes such a stand in her home for her business and her parents probably feel great about that. We all do what we feel is best for our businesses and if it works for you, great keep doing it.

I have learned so much from this forum and have implemented many things into my own program. That is the best part of it, but it does seem more and more there is so much arguing and fighting on here that its not really a support group anymore. It seems to **** the fun/life out of a otherwise awesome sight. Thats why I don't like facebook-to much drama alot of times and I don't want to have one. I came here because it was the first time I have found a place where I can ask questions, get advice, see what works for others while I'm at work. I don't have to wait for a monthly meeting or when the kids have left to talk to a friend.

I hope that as mature adults we would not act like this in real life but I hope that because we are on the internet, these are not our true selves, the real us. I hope that because we aren't face to face that we feel it gives us an out to be mean to each other.

Please remember we are all on equal playing fields and at the end of the day, we are all the same. No one is better then the next person and no matter how well a program is run, how much education a provider has, we are all human and at the snap of a finger a childcare can be under investigations or even just down for the most unfair things. We have all seen it happen.

Instead of being the mean girls, lets remember that parents read this also, and we should be portraying professionalism that we have all strived to have over the years. Many, if not all of us have wanted to be reconginized as a real career but looking at threads like this, a person could easily see why its not recongnized as a professional career.

I'm just asking that if your from CA, maybe just check with you licensor before posting "facts". I think by doing this it will cut down alot of the arguing from the CA. members.

Everyone have a wonderful evening and lets start fresh in the morning!

[daycare]

I think for the CA providers the best thing to do is not talk about your rules and regulations! There is to many variables each time you guys discuss them.

In the transportation thread, no one knew anything about the transportation slip that Crystal kept talking about, yet that stayed pretty civil towards her. In the end it was found out that not everyone needed them, yet Crystal was stating they did when actually it must just be for her area.

Michelle was stating what she had been told for years and everyone jumps all over her. It happens to all of us when it comes to licensing-whats good for one person, isn't good for the next and CA seems to be the worse according to the stories here.

Same with the immunization slips, sounds like some licensor say just recopy on blue paper and others say you have to have the official copy.

When it comes to these types of things, lets all step back and realize we are in this together and the more we fight less support we feel. I think its absolutely wonderful that Michelle takes such a stand in her home for her business and her parents probably feel great about that. We all do what we feel is best for our businesses and if it works for you, great keep doing it.

I have learned so much from this forum and have implemented many things into my own program. That is the best part of it, but it does seem more and more there is so much arguing and fighting on here that its not really a support group anymore. It seems to **** the fun/life out of a otherwise awesome sight. Thats why I don't like facebook-to much drama alot of times and I don't want to have one. I came here because it was the first time I have found a place where I can ask questions, get advice, see what works for others while I'm at work. I don't have to wait for a monthly meeting or when the kids have left to talk to a friend.

I hope that as mature adults we would not act like this in real life but I hope that because we are on the internet, these are not our true selves, the real us. I hope that because we aren't face to face that we feel it gives us an out to be mean to each other.

Please remember we are all on equal playing fields and at the end of the day, we are all the same. No one is better then the next person and no matter how well a program is run, how much education a provider has, we are all human and at the snap of a finger a childcare can be under investigations or even just down for the most unfair things. We have all seen it happen.

Instead of being the mean girls, lets remember that parents read this also, and we should be portraying professionalism that we have all strived to have over the years. Many, if not all of us have wanted to be reconginized as a real career but looking at threads like this, a person could easily see why its not recongnized as a professional career.

I'm just asking that if your from CA, maybe just check with you licensor before posting "facts". I think by doing this it will cut down alot of the arguing from the CA. members.

Everyone have a wonderful evening and lets start fresh in the morning!

CK...You know that I love you.... I wish I was as good with words as you are. I know many of us struggle to put our thoughts into words more than others.

Thank you for your post.

I too come here for support, advice, understanding, education and motivation. I never want to feel as though I may have ever put someone down or make them feel unworthy.

thank you for posting this.......................

[MyAngels]

but it does seem more and more there is so much arguing and fighting on here that its not really a support group anymore. It seems to **** the fun/life out of a otherwise awesome sight.

Do try to remember, though, that there are hundreds, if not thousands, of threads here and very few actually become heated.

[Willow]

Do try to remember, though, that there are hundreds, if not thousands, of threads here and very few actually become heated.

[Blackcat31]

I think for the CA providers the best thing to do is not talk about your rules and regulations! There is to many variables each time you guys discuss them.

I too come here for support, advice, understanding, education and motivation. I never want to feel as though I may have ever put someone down or make them feel unworthy.

You can't spend your whole life avoiding conflict.

Conflict is what influences "people to learn, understand and educate" themselves and others.

Conflict inspires you to see things from a different perspective and learn to be understanding or at the very least accepting of other people.

Conflict also defines you....it shows you what you got; who you are; your character.

I am NOT saying people should start conflict on purpose as I believe people should truly and deeply believe in their cause if they are willing to go toe to toe with someone else but avoiding all conflict is impossible and in my opinion would mean a pretty vanilla world.

People should be able to talk about things passionately and they should be able to disagree without degrading or insulting each other.

Conflict isn't always a bad thing. It's how YOU (general you) handles conflict that makes ALL the difference.

[daycare]

People should be able to talk about things passionately and they should be able to disagree without degrading or insulting each other.

This exactly.......

that's all I ask..... like I said, maybe it's wishful thinking on my part.

I'm not upset that people have conflicts, it's about how they have them.

I'm always up for a good debate.....

[Michelle]

wow, I didn't know this was still going on... I just got back from my dd softball game in which I did take 2 dck's with me... She got a big hit and we celebrated with ice cream.. They were so happy for her and cheered her on. We lost our first play off game, which means we are done for the season but at least I got to go! happyface

Thank you so much for all the PM of support from all of you wonderful ladies! I really appreciate them and I do feel a lot better now.

I agree that we should be able to talk about things and agree to disagree.
We all do things differently and some people are able to do field trips and some people are not. I do not think less of providers that can't or won't do them.

God bless and good night

[Country Kids]

Do try to remember, though, that there are hundreds, if not thousands, of threads here and very few actually become heated.

True but the are becoming more and more heated recently!

Since Jan, I think there have been 4/5 threads that have had to be locked out. In my eyes that is ALOT as I have been on here for a couple years and that is the most in to be locked out in a very short time.

That tells me that the dynamics of the forum are changing.

Thank you Daycare for the kind words!

I guess even when you try to right a peaceful reply as a few did, it seems people still need to argue back.

[MyAngels]

True but the are becoming more and more heated recently!

Since Jan, I think there have been 4/5 threads that have had to be locked out. In my eyes that is ALOT as I have been on here for a couple years and that is the most in to be locked out in a very short time.

That tells me that the dynamics of the forum are changing.

Thank you Daycare for the kind words!

I guess even when you try to right a peaceful reply as a few did, it seems people still need to argue back.

If you really don't care for the arguments then don't continue to stir the pot .

With that, I'll take my spoon and be on my way .

[mom2many]

wow, I didn't know this was still going on... I just got back from my dd softball game in which I did take 2 dck's with me... She got a big hit and we celebrated with ice cream.. They were so happy for her and cheered her on. We lost our first play off game, which means we are done for the season but at least I got to go! happyface

Thank you so much for all the PM of support from all of you wonderful ladies! I really appreciate them and I do feel a lot better now.

I agree that we should be able to talk about things and agree to disagree.
We all do things differently and some people are cut out to do field trips and some people are not. I do not think less of providers that can't or won't do them.

God bless and good night

I totally agree with this! I think it's great learning about all of the different programs each one of us has! There is such diversity and no way is the right way.

I simply offer what works best for me and that has evolved over the years... I was surprised when pps commented on feeling insulted, because I don't do field trips much at all anymore, since I took on 2 infants...it's just not feasible, so we are limited to walks to our neighborhood park. I don't feel like my program is any less though- It's just different and I never read anything negative into the OP's posts.

I agree with CK too...CA is so confusing in it's regs and that causes many of us to "feel" like we "think" we know what is true...only to find out we have been misinformed or each area/licensing rep informs us each differently. I know I was misinformed with the use of sunscreen!

I value this forum for just these reasons though! I continue to learn more about this profession and it helps me become a better provider! I definitely do not have all of the answers and love having the insight of others!

[Blackcat31]

True but the are becoming more and more heated recently!

Since Jan, I think there have been 4/5 threads that have had to be locked out. In my eyes that is ALOT as I have been on here for a couple years and that is the most in to be locked out in a very short time.

That tells me that the dynamics of the forum are changing.

Thank you Daycare for the kind words!

I guess even when you try to right a peaceful reply as a few did, it seems people still need to argue back.

Ok so I went back to December of 2012 and cannot find any of these 4/5 threads that have had to be locked due to the dynamics of the forum changing....:confused:

I found 5 threads that had to be locked for the following reason's

• 1. "ketchup" poster...troll
• 2. same "ketchup" poster...troll
• 3. OP asked for time sensitive poll/voting so thread had a time limit.
• 4. breastfeeding in public thread
• 5. recent transportation thread (OP asked for it to be locked)

The dynamics of this forum is not changing in my opinion. As a matter of fact, I think it is rather civil as far as I think (compared to when I first joined).

This thread is bound to become controversial because it stems from a thread that was locked. There really was NO need to start a whole new thread just to rehash stuff from a locked thread.

The OP of this thread WAS insulting and rude to other posters and when she got called out for it she is wanting to be viewed as the "victim" and stating SHE feels attacked....

NOT once did she apologize to anyone who felt attacked by her. NOT once did she take responsibility for making others feel insulted.

She did say that she wasn't good at putting words together to make her point but a simple "I'm sorry if I offended you" seems pretty simple to me.

The point of this thread could have been made in a much more proactive way and at the end of it all it still doesn't change the fact that many providers who don't do off-site field trips feel as thought the intent of this thread was to say they weren't as good as providers who do field trips.

But my point is made even clearer as the OP states in her final post "We all do things differently and some people are cut out to do field trips and some people are not" which in my opinion is yet ANOTHER dig at those providers who don't do off site field trips.

I don't do them...but that certainly doesn't mean I am NOT cut out for them. That is really offensive to me.

I CAN do them, I CHOOSE not to...BIG DIFFERENCE.

My only advice to members who don't like conflict is to do as MyAngels said and to stop adding fuel to the fire, be respectful in your responses/replies and don't make generalized sweeping statements about how much better you think you are just because you do things differently than others.

And above all, if you wronged, offended or hurt someone else, take responsibility and say you are sorry.

It is EXACTLY what we teach our daycare kids.

I KNOW I have been offensive to others and said things I shouldn't have and if/when it is brought to my attention, I will absolutely apologize if I hurt someone's feelings but I won't make excuses and simply continue offending. them.