Ridiculous Questions/Expectations...

[SilverSabre25]

::Putting on Moderator Hat::

Everyone, please stop arguing with Nannyde over her opinions on breastfeeding; or if you want to continue the discussion please take it to the Off Topic thread or private messages. Remember to be respectful--and that goes for those of you on both sides.

re: the Attachment Parenting discussion, I think this is an important topic, but should be taken to a separate thread here in the main forum.

Back to crazy interview requests.

::Moderator Hat off:

[Angelsj]

Feel free to slice it up however you like.

blandino-- I don't disagree. To each their own. But the insistence from some that it will NOT work in daycare is just wrong. It does for some of us.

[SunnyDay]

A 40 year old complete stranger woman exposed her full breast to my complete stranger child three feet away from him during Thanksgiving dinner. I don't care if she was feeding her child or not. It happened and I shouldn't get over it.

I need to tell this story because it is a perfect example of no matter HOW inconsiderate, rude, and indecent it is to expose your full breast in public and how young and defenseless the child is you did it too.. there will always be people on the internet who beat you up for being upset about it and stomp their feet saying they have the right to do what they want for THEIR child. There's no limit to when where and how the breast feeding moms get to exercise their rights and do what's best for them and theirs.

Is there ANY situation where you feel a woman shouldn't be able to pull out her fully exposed breast to feed her child? Is it okay during a wedding? Okay during a funeral? Okay in open court? Okay during a presidential inaguration? Okay in the public school classroom filled with middle school boys and girls? Okay when you are interviewing complete stranger day care dads for their childs possible slot in your day care? Thanksgiving dinner with a stranger twelve year old?

I'm not talking about breast feeding where your breast is not exposed. I'm talking about fully open breast publicly. Is there ANY situation where you think it would be inapropriate?

I do raise children. That's been my business for nearly 35 years. Raise as in "bring up".

I think it would be OK in church in front of the future pope

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151536526179120&set=o.103498619688114&type=1&theater

[nannyde]

I think it would be OK in church in front of the future pope
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?f...type=1&theater

Hmmm. Looks like the feeding mama and the one next to her are in hospital gowns.

Newborn mass?

[Country Kids]

Also looking at this picture you will notice the mama isn't wearing a bra. Maybe in their culture they don't wear bras during their time of nursing a baby so its easier for the child to latch on? That would be hard especially when you start leaking.

I know personally I couldn't go without a bra during that time or many American women that would.

[nannyde]

Also looking at this picture you will notice the mama isn't wearing a bra. Maybe in their culture they don't wear bras during their time of nursing a baby so its easier for the child to latch on? That would be hard especially when you start leaking.

I know personally I couldn't go without a bra during that time or many American women that would.

I looked up the other pics from this and it looks like he as a cardinal went to a hospital for the poor and baptized babies whose mothers would not have the money or ability to get to a church.

I haven't had too much time to check it out but I think the setting and purpose of his mission was to minister to the poor. There are more pics of this from eight years ago with hospital dressed workers and other women in hospital gowns.

[AfterSchoolMom]

Oh, I thought of more:

I had the parent of a SA tell me (not ask, mind you) that she expected me to find a quiet place for her child to sit, where they "wouldn't be distracted", and read for FORTY FIVE MINUTES after school each day, on top of the regular homework, because "they just don't have the attention span to get it done at home". Keep in mind that I had a group of 8 at the time (my own elementary schoolers, five SA's under ten, and one that was 12 - three girls and five boys) to feed, help with homework, and supervise while outside. This child was in third grade and a very reluctant reader. I know that this Mom just didn't feel like dealing with it herself. She got very angry with me when I told her that there was no way that I could enforce that every day.

This is also a Mom who "forgot" it was payday every single week and showed up late 3-4x per week. Yeah, please tell me what I can do to help make things easier for you.

I've had parents ask me to do school projects with their SA kids.

I had one tell me once that they were uncomfortable with me driving their child to the bus stop (up my driveway, down the street about four houses, and hang a left for about two more houses) when it was raining, and wanted me to hand the child an umbrella and have them walk while I followed in the car. :confused:

And for a flip-flop, I had a parent get mad at ME for requesting that they provide a jacket for their kindergartener in the mornings for the bus stop, because he continually showed up in short sleeves in 35-40 degree weather. "He's fine, it's hot inside the school", she told me. He stood there every day with blue lips, shivering. I finally had to let him borrow my son's old coat so that the bus driver would stop giving me dirty looks!

My not-so-favorite request, which I got a LOT, and should be thought of as ridiculous.... "can I just pay you in a couple of days/on Thursday/next week when I get paid?".

[frgsonmysox]

The AP providers leave in part because they don't make it too long doing child care.

I'm SO ready for an interviewee to do the public breast feeding deal-e-o in my house. I got got with that over Thanksgiving when my son and I visited my cousin... at the Thanksgiving dinner table to boot and in front of my twelve year old son.

I'm ready now... I won't get got again.

Next time this happens I'm going to video tape it of my my nifty new Galaxy Note 2 and instantly put it up on Facebook, Youtube, and link it to my twitter. That's gonna go viral immediately.

Whip out the breast in FULL VIEW and I'm going to whip out my camera in FULL view. Time to GO PUBLIC.

Game on happyface

As a mother who has nursed ALL of my kids (5 and trying for number 6), and all of them for extended periods of time, including tandem nursing (nursing two kids at once) what do you expect? My child has to eat too. Why should my child not eat simply because you haven't taught your son that breasts are for feeding. I have 4 boys, and 1 girl. My boys know that breasts are made to feed babies. They don't even noticing nursing women. I've educated just about every man my husband works with, at first they were narrow minded, and now most of them are "lactivists". My childs right to eat, trumps your right to not look in my general direction. If my breast offends you, then don't look. Don't expect my child to go hungry over it. Heck, many times I have BOTH boobs flopped out over the top of my shirt while my 13 month old, and my 35 month old both nurse simultaneously. And I've done this at every interview I've had, because my kids always want to nurse when a stranger is nearby. Never bothered a family before, and if they are bothered by a breast than I am most certainly not the family for them.

Actually I think the AP type providers don't stick around the forum because the forum is very disapproving of that style of caregiving...I know a lot of AP providers 'round me who have been in the business for quite awhile.

I'm beginning to see that this is not an AP friendly area. But people tell me all the time it's not possible to be AP with 5 kids close in age, or when their husband is deployed. I'm disabled, still practice AP with ALL 5 of my kids as well as my daycare kids, and continue doing this even when my husband is gone for 6+months at a time.

I find that everyone who says it's not possible are not AP themselves. They think it's too much work to do with 1 kid, so why try with multiple. If you TRULY believe in the principles of AP there is no way you wouldn't practice it.

I wouldn't hate ya. I'd tape ya.

And I'd sue you if you taped me with the intention of posting it online to make fun of me.

Thank you. I think you are pretty dead on.

Been doing this "AP" style for over 35 years and still going strong. Not everyone does things the same way, and it is ok, but my way works for me and the high handed attitude around here sometimes about what is the "right" way gets a little annoying.

Glad to see more APers!

Actually, there are more and more studies showing that there is very little long-term significant differences in formula-fed babies vs BM fed babies.

Actually, the studies are showing the exact opposite.

I'm new here and I noticed that immediately. My oldest is 7, I practiced AP before I even knew it was a "thing." Discovered Dr. Sears when he was about 6 months old and never went back.

It CAN work in a daycare setting. I have modified some things and streamlined others, but, as with anything else, practice makes perfect!

I almost deleted my account a couple of times because the anti-AP slant started to get to me, but I reminded myself that WE ALL DO WHAT WE THINK IS BEST and I truly believe that. What more could a DCP ask for? Besides, I've picked up way more positive from around here than negative.

I like this forum, I get great ideas here, and I won't be scared off by AP hostility, but I do wish more APers would speak up

Why so hostile? You went to your cousin's house and she breast fed in her own house. IN HER OWN HOUSE!! I nursed my twins until they were two and a half. I'm a busty gal. The only way to nurse them both comfortably for me was on the sofa with a footstool. Guess what? People who visited my house saw my boobs sometimes. Big woooooop!!

I've been to family member's houses were they said and did things that weren't illegal but I found personally offensive. Do I whip out my IPhone and up load a video to the Internet? Of course not ...that is ridiculous!!! What purpose would that serve?

I just wonder why you are so hostile toward a mom who is breastfeeding her own baby (in her own house) when that is what the leading experts suggest we all do? Just because it is something you didn't, wouldn't, couldn't do does not make it wrong for others to do.

happyfacehappyfacehappyface

Hostile would be a very very mild summary of my opinion on this after being blindsided by someone who exercised her rights at my 12 year old sons expense.

I don't know how you got that my cousin was bf'ing her kid in her own home. Her youngest is 15 :-)

Your 12 year old is more than old enough to be simply told that nursing is natural, normal, and not a big deal. If a child is RAISED knowing this it NEVER becomes a big deal. My oldest is 8, has aspergers (so he always speaks his mind), and only asks questions when he sees a woman with a bottle because he's curious as to why she couldn't nurse.

I think many people reading your description of events in this thread (not the one from years ago) might assume as I did that it was the cousin nursing in her home.

I personally find your cousin's deceased husband's stepfather's daughter or extended relative immodest but since you brought it up in your older thread......:confused:you had never spoken to a twelve year old about breast feeding?:confused:

It not the breast feeding part of the story I find shocking but that you, a nurse, had never spoken to your twelve year old about this. Im sure he has either witnessed it or at least heard about it before that Thanksgiving. Twelve year old boys talk. Three of my sons are teens.

Again, I think that young mom was less modest than she should have been. I just don't understand your hostility in breast feeding in general.

happyface

You assume a LOT.

First, this wasn't a "young" mother. She is a FORTY year old woman with FOUR kids and the oldest is a FULL grown adult. Get the visual now? Why in the world would you assume she was YOUNG?

She's been on this planet long enough to KNOW better than to behave like that in front of a total STRANGER pre-teen male child at a dang holiday dinner. You aren't shocked by that?

Secondly, my kid is twelve. Of course I haven't discussed breast feeding with him. Why the HECK would I do that and what the HECK does that have to do with me being a nurse?

I haven't discussed formula with him.
I haven't discussed stage two baby food with him.
I haven't discussed puff cereal with him.
I haven't discussed hepatitis with him.
I haven't discussed weapons of mass destruction with him.
I haven't discussed toenail care of the elderly with him.

Want me to go on?

He's a pre teen who is currently up at the lake with a fishing rod trying to catch a bass in the middle of March in Iowa. That's how much HE knows.

Can you POSSIBLY conceive how completely REDICULOUS it would be for me to discuss BREAST FEEDING with him? Why the hail would I do that? What difference does it make to him? Why in the world would I bring something like that up to a young boy when NOTHING in his life whatsoever has to do with infants? He's hopefully YEARS away from being a parent.

Maybe I SHOULD give him an education. Maybe I need to teach him the art of education escalation. Maybe I need to help him develop a plan to GET an education the NEXT time a Mama is exposing her breast while feeding her little precious in public. Maybe I should encourage him to seize the opportunity and get that education by sitting three dang feet away and asking
lots
and lots
and LOTS
of questions. Maybe I should encourage him to video and share via his Facebook, twitter, and youtube with that handy dandy "where are you located" button so he can invite others to come and share the public experience with him, the baby, and Mama. That would work great in the mall!

Maybe I should encourage him to share HIS feelings about the experience him and the viewing public get during little darlins feeding to the feeding Mommy. He's real chatty and he has an opinion about everything.

It's natural and best for the baby and all. Why shouldn't he have a total experience and share that experience with his little world and the big wide world? Why would he need to learn about this from me when there are so many real life mommies out there doing the real thing? Let the public breastfeeders field his education in this matter.... They are surely more adept at it then his mama nurse would EVER be.

Yathink? Time to "go public" and "in your face".

That can go both ways. Maybe he needs to learn that.

I wouldn't mind your 12 year old asking me questions. I love to educate others about nursing, which is why I'm studying to become an IBCLC. Some of my daycare kids ask questions, so I explain, and they go on with their day. I've had kids in public ask me and I've had adults ask me questions too. Never bothers me.

Funny how you never answered why you are so hostile toward breastfeeding mothers.

I have only had one formula fed baby in the last four years. I do the WORK of managing breast milk and the care of the breast fed child every single working day. All it takes is one formula fed baby in four years to bring home how much EASIER it would be to just do formula infant care. I spend more time in one day managing breast milk receiving, storing, heatIng, and parent conferencing then I spend in a MONTH receiving, heating, storing, and parent conferencing for a formula fed infant.

Don't accuse me of being hostile to breastfeeding mothers. I willingly and gladly do the work to make it happen for nearly every infant I raise.

I.m hostile about blindsiding people in public and forcing them to view your breast so you can do whats best for you and your baby. We should be considerate and understand that the public may have differing levels of comfort and modesty. When simple solutions are readily available then the greater good should be considered.

There are numerous things that people find disgusting, but we don't force them to stop. Some people HATE feet, should be ban flip flops? Others view the eating of meat to be cruel, and disgusting. Should be ban eating meat in public? Some people believe that women in any clothes other than modest dresses are too inappropriately dressed for their sons to see. Should we require women dress that way?

No. Because sometimes peoples hang ups about things should not determine what is right or wrong. Having a child go hungry so YOU don't have to see my boob - which is made up of skin and nipples which EVERYONE has - is ridiculous. If you don't want to see, then you can look away, go somewhere else, or put a blanket on your head

Every infant YOU raise? So now you write your daycare kids off of your taxes and put them through college?...oh boy.

That young or old, or wrinkled, or sexy, or Asian, or fat, or grumpy, or liberal, or flatulent mom breast fed her child. Get over it.... And consider teaching your kid what breasts are meant to do.

Read through your last few posts including the old thread you referenced and tell me there is no hostility.

I wish PEACE AND THE UNDERSTANDING that just because someone does something that you wouldn't or you couldn't does not make it WRONG!

I get a little angry over the raising comment too. We aren't raising kids, teaching them our traditions, morals, and religion. We aren't the ones creating holiday memories. We aren't the ones who will be there every day of their lives. When they leave our care, it's sad, but it's not devastating like it is if a mother lost their child. We are secondary givers, not primary.

Feel free to slice it up however you like.

blandino-- I don't disagree. To each their own. But the insistence from some that it will NOT work in daycare is just wrong. It does for some of us.

[Blackcat31]

I thought this thread was about interview questions and odd requests not whether people should or shouldn't publically breast feed.

I'm pretty sure we get it.....some people do it, like and are comfortable with it..... others are not.

It was one thing when everyone was discussing AP care in a group setting but now we are talking about something completely different.



Please.

[momofboys]

Here's a recent request - newish DCB & fully potty-trained (not even 3 yet) and DCM told me that I will have to direct his wee wee when he pees b/c he doesn't have control over it yet - Ummmmmmmm NO I can't do that. If he is unable to direct the pee he will need to sit to go #1 until he learns how to at home - I don't need to clean pee off my floor multiple times a day & I don't even want to get started on the ramifications on touching an-almost-3-year-old's private parts to help the pee go in the right place!

[nanglgrl]

This lady didn't really request anything but it's a good story and will steer us away from the talk about breastfeeding and AP parenting (I think both are great, do what works for you).
I just did an interview with a mother who had potty trained her child and the little girl wasn't even 2. Good for her right? We went over my policies and I started to give an tour when I noticed a huge puddle on the floor. It seems the little lady peed all over the floor. Then mom says, "she does that a lot" and proceeded to get an extra pair of pants out of her purse. I hadn't discussed the potty training part of my policies before because I generally take people at their word so when mom said she was trained I took it to mean she was trained to go in the potty. So then I was curious and asked about the child's potty routine. Mom answers, "she doesn't ever wear diapers or pull ups and will pee her pants unless I take her into the bathroom and sit her on the potty every half hour and even when I do that she still has an occasional accident. At night we put a plastic sheet on her bed so it's easy to clean up."
Then we went over my potty training policies and I'm pretty sure the mom had a realization that her child wasn't in fact trained. I just wonder how long the kid had been peeing on everything.

[Candy]

This lady didn't really request anything but it's a good story and will steer us away from the talk about breastfeeding and AP parenting (I think both are great, do what works for you).
I just did an interview with a mother who had potty trained her child and the little girl wasn't even 2. Good for her right? We went over my policies and I started to give an tour when I noticed a huge puddle on the floor. It seems the little lady peed all over the floor. Then mom says, "she does that a lot" and proceeded to get an extra pair of pants out of her purse. I hadn't discussed the potty training part of my policies before because I generally take people at their word so when mom said she was trained I took it to mean she was trained to go in the potty. So then I was curious and asked about the child's potty routine. Mom answers, "she doesn't ever wear diapers or pull ups and will pee her pants unless I take her into the bathroom and sit her on the potty every half hour and even when I do that she still has an occasional accident. At night we put a plastic sheet on her bed so it's easy to clean up."
Then we went over my potty training policies and I'm pretty sure the mom had a realization that her child wasn't in fact trained. I just wonder how long the kid had been peeing on everything.

Wth! So its perfectly normal for a kid to pee everywhere. I wonder how many times she has done that in a store.

[Starburst]

This lady didn't really request anything but it's a good story and will steer us away from the talk about breastfeeding and AP parenting (I think both are great, do what works for you).
I just did an interview with a mother who had potty trained her child and the little girl wasn't even 2. Good for her right? We went over my policies and I started to give an tour when I noticed a huge puddle on the floor. It seems the little lady peed all over the floor. Then mom says, "she does that a lot" and proceeded to get an extra pair of pants out of her purse. I hadn't discussed the potty training part of my policies before because I generally take people at their word so when mom said she was trained I took it to mean she was trained to go in the potty. So then I was curious and asked about the child's potty routine. Mom answers, "she doesn't ever wear diapers or pull ups and will pee her pants unless I take her into the bathroom and sit her on the potty every half hour and even when I do that she still has an occasional accident. At night we put a plastic sheet on her bed so it's easy to clean up."
Then we went over my potty training policies and I'm pretty sure the mom had a realization that her child wasn't in fact trained. I just wonder how long the kid had been peeing on everything.

I know she didn't really request it but I don't think any provider would have put a child under two on the potty every 1/2 hour if a parent did request it- a nanny or a babysitter maybe because they wouldn't have to cater to a group. I wouldn't be supprised if the little girl was irritable from being on the toilet for most of the day (she wouldn't be able to do much activities or interaction). It supprised me how many people just put underwear on a baby and say "Junior is potty trained" when they have multiple accidents a day. An accident once or twice a week is one thing but every day?

[blandino]

This lady didn't really request anything but it's a good story and will steer us away from the talk about breastfeeding and AP parenting (I think both are great, do what works for you).
I just did an interview with a mother who had potty trained her child and the little girl wasn't even 2. Good for her right? We went over my policies and I started to give an tour when I noticed a huge puddle on the floor. It seems the little lady peed all over the floor. Then mom says, "she does that a lot" and proceeded to get an extra pair of pants out of her purse. I hadn't discussed the potty training part of my policies before because I generally take people at their word so when mom said she was trained I took it to mean she was trained to go in the potty. So then I was curious and asked about the child's potty routine. Mom answers, "she doesn't ever wear diapers or pull ups and will pee her pants unless I take her into the bathroom and sit her on the potty every half hour and even when I do that she still has an occasional accident. At night we put a plastic sheet on her bed so it's easy to clean up."
Then we went over my potty training policies and I'm pretty sure the mom had a realization that her child wasn't in fact trained. I just wonder how long the kid had been peeing on everything.

I have had a few of these kids, or should I say a few of these parents. I swear they consider the child "potty trained" just because they are out of diapers - no matter how many accidents they have. It blows my mind. We had a DCG whose parents swore up and down that she was PT at 19 months - and when she started she has 2/3 accidents a day. DCM's response was "yeah, she does that". So what part of that is toilet trained ? Just because she goes 1/3 times, doesn't make her potty trained.

[momofboys]

I have had a few of these kids, or should I say a few of these parents. I swear they consider the child "potty trained" just because they are out of diapers - no matter how many accidents they have. It blows my mind. We had a DCG whose parents swore up and down that she was PT at 19 months - and when she started she has 2/3 accidents a day. DCM's response was "yeah, she does that". So what part of that is toilet trained ? Just because she goes 1/3 times, doesn't make her potty trained.

LOL!::