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Funny how you never answered why you are so hostile toward breastfeeding mothers.
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Someone unleashed the Angry Spice.
:confused:
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I have only had one formula fed baby in the last four years. I do the WORK of managing breast milk and the care of the breast fed child every single working day. All it takes is one formula fed baby in four years to bring home how much EASIER it would be to just do formula infant care. I spend more time in one day managing breast milk receiving, storing, heatIng, and parent conferencing then I spend in a MONTH receiving, heating, storing, and parent conferencing for a formula fed infant.
Don't accuse me of being hostile to breastfeeding mothers. I willingly and gladly do the work to make it happen for nearly every infant I raise.
I.m hostile about blindsiding people in public and forcing them to view your breast so you can do whats best for you and your baby. We should be considerate and understand that the public may have differing levels of comfort and modesty. When simple solutions are readily available then the greater good should be considered.Comment
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Getting back to the topic at hand..
1. I have had parents tell me to spank their child if they misbehave, which I refuse to do. I used to watch a four-year-old who was a friend's son (yeah I know..big mistake and I definately learned my lesson anyway), and he had a lot of behavior problems while in my care and at home as well. Whenever I would tell his grandparents about his behavior in my home, their only response would be "bust his butt", which of course I wouldn't do. His mom's reaction would be to get right up in his face and scream at him, hit him, and things like that..the poor kid was clearly scared of his mother, and it was no wonder that his behavior would get worse as time went on, and that I terminated care. I am no longer friends with his mother, which came as no surprise, and I don't think the child in question is even living with her anymore.
2. Years ago I worked with my mother, and a mother of a little girl (it's been many years, but if memory serves me correctly she was around 3-4 years old) told us to put alum on her child's tongue when she misbehaved, and if she cursed since she and the child's grandmother were having problems with her cursing at the time. She even brought a container of alum, and we refused to use it. We terminated care not just because of that, but after the child told us about how Mommy's boyfriend put his hand down her pants, we had to contact authorities. Months later my mom saw the mother of this child out in public, and she proceeded to start screaming at my mother about how we caused her to lose custody of her child.
3. Also there was another parent who informed us to punish her two children (I think they were school-aged) by putting a drop of dish detergent in their mouths and then have them drink water. Wasn't going to happen.
4. A couple years ago I had a gentleman contact me for child care for his four-year-old daughter and two-year-old son. When he came by for an interview he made some comments about my home (I live in a mobile home, which I take very good care of, and it is in a well-taken care of community)..he admitted he was expecting a dirty house with a lot of cats, because of the type of home I live in.Then he asked me if my boyfriend/now-husband (who at the time was unemployed but helping me with the children until he got a job) and I were married, and I said no. He asked if my son was my boyfriend/now-husband's son, and I explained that my son was from a previous relationship. He then said rather huffily, "Well our children are me and my wife's children..WE don't have children with anybody else". My reaction was
I was shocked (and offended) because me not being with my child's bio-dad was never an issue to anybody else but this guy, and was irrelevant in regards to my qualifications as a child care provider.
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Every infant YOU raise? So now you write your daycare kids off of your taxes and put them through college?...oh boy.
That young or old, or wrinkled, or sexy, or Asian, or fat, or grumpy, or liberal, or flatulent mom breast fed her child. Get over it.... And consider teaching your kid what breasts are meant to do.
Read through your last few posts including the old thread you referenced and tell me there is no hostility.
I wish PEACE AND THE UNDERSTANDING that just because someone does something that you wouldn't or you couldn't does not make it WRONG!Comment
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I'm not picking a fight. I'm simply tired of her authoritative hostility. But I'm done. Good night and peace.Comment
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A 40 year old complete stranger woman exposed her full breast to my complete stranger child three feet away from him during Thanksgiving dinner. I don't care if she was feeding her child or not. It happened and I shouldn't get over it.
I need to tell this story because it is a perfect example of no matter HOW inconsiderate, rude, and indecent it is to expose your full breast in public and how young and defenseless the child is you did it too.. there will always be people on the internet who beat you up for being upset about it and stomp their feet saying they have the right to do what they want for THEIR child. There's no limit to when where and how the breast feeding moms get to exercise their rights and do what's best for them and theirs.
Is there ANY situation where you feel a woman shouldn't be able to pull out her fully exposed breast to feed her child? Is it okay during a wedding? Okay during a funeral? Okay in open court? Okay during a presidential inaguration? Okay in the public school classroom filled with middle school boys and girls? Okay when you are interviewing complete stranger day care dads for their childs possible slot in your day care? Thanksgiving dinner with a stranger twelve year old?
I'm not talking about breast feeding where your breast is not exposed. I'm talking about fully open breast publicly. Is there ANY situation where you think it would be inapropriate?
I do raise children. That's been my business for nearly 35 years. Raise as in "bring up".Comment
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I agree completely with both you, and nannyde. I mean I spend more time in a day with most of my daycare kids, than their parents do. I am by no means claiming that I am the parental role - but it can't be denied that we are definitely co-raising (at minimum) these kiddos.
The majority of my kids are with me M-F from 8-5 (most here before 8), so 40+ hours a week. I have a few part-timers who may be here 28-30 hours a week - but that is still a huge chunk of time.Comment
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I don't run a huge operation. I am allowed 12, but I often don't have more than 5-6 kids, ages birth to 4 at any one time. I raised 8 children with the relaxed AP style, and just continued with the "extras" that have always been around.
I wear babies, and demand feed/sleep. I don't have a forced nap schedule and each child naps as needed. I have been known to feed four children breakfast at four different times, and lunch the same way. I allow "grazing" and generally discourage the use of baby food. I don't have enforced drop off times, or pick up times. I meet the children's (and generally the parents) needs within reasonable bounds. (I do not work weekends.)
I do have rules, of course, but for the most part they are designed to foster a child's independence through allowing them to be with me as much as they need to be, until they are ready to move on. I genuinely KNOW each child well enough to guide their play and scaffold their growth through the placement of toys and quiet removal of such. Sometimes a gentle question will lead them to a whole higher realm of play; sometimes I just leave them alone and let them teach each other.
I watch them for early signs of sleepiness, boredom, hunger or fear. I gently intervene BEFORE such things become an issue, encouraging them to speak to and solve their own problems. They are free to do, or just to be, or to be with me as I move about my adult daily jobs. I slow down and let them "help" with pretty much anything they have an interest in helping with.
I know it sounds chaotic, but it truly isn't. We do have a "schedule" of sorts, with very general/ flexible timing. I also have to incorporate two kids (11 and 13) that are home schooled and a college student (the 17yo) that still lives here. It is a smooth, easy schedule that I have been following for over 35 years.
To me, that is AP style. Guidance, not force. Schedule, yes, but one that works with THEIR rhythms, not the "group's" rhythm. Growth, development and change at THEIR pace. (I have a one year old that gave up the paci 6 months ago, and an almost 4 year old that still uses one-- she has her reasons.)
Just for the record, I am one of those "Grandmothers who have been doing daycare for 30+ years" but I also have a current degree in Child Development.
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Honestly, I think this whole AP/Group care discussion that is going on here the past few days - ultimately has to do with the personality type of the provider.I don't run a huge operation. I am allowed 12, but I often don't have more than 5-6 kids, ages birth to 4 at any one time. I raised 8 children with the relaxed AP style, and just continued with the "extras" that have always been around.
I wear babies, and demand feed/sleep. I don't have a forced nap schedule and each child naps as needed. I have been known to feed four children breakfast at four different times, and lunch the same way. I allow "grazing" and generally discourage the use of baby food. I don't have enforced drop off times, or pick up times. I meet the children's (and generally the parents) needs within reasonable bounds. (I do not work weekends.)
I do have rules, of course, but for the most part they are designed to foster a child's independence through allowing them to be with me as much as they need to be, until they are ready to move on. I genuinely KNOW each child well enough to guide their play and scaffold their growth through the placement of toys and quiet removal of such. Sometimes a gentle question will lead them to a whole higher realm of play; sometimes I just leave them alone and let them teach each other.
I watch them for early signs of sleepiness, boredom, hunger or fear. I gently intervene BEFORE such things become an issue, encouraging them to speak to and solve their own problems. They are free to do, or just to be, or to be with me as I move about my adult daily jobs. I slow down and let them "help" with pretty much anything they have an interest in helping with.
I know it sounds chaotic, but it truly isn't. We do have a "schedule" of sorts, with very general/ flexible timing. I also have to incorporate two kids (11 and 13) that are home schooled and a college student (the 17yo) that still lives here. It is a smooth, easy schedule that I have been following for over 35 years.
To me, that is AP style. Guidance, not force. Schedule, yes, but one that works with THEIR rhythms, not the "group's" rhythm. Growth, development and change at THEIR pace. (I have a one year old that gave up the paci 6 months ago, and an almost 4 year old that still uses one-- she has her reasons.)
Just for the record, I am one of those "Grandmothers who have been doing daycare for 30+ years" but I also have a current degree in Child Development.
I so respect the kind of care you provide, but for me personally - I would never feel at ease with that. I thrive on regularity and rather strict scheduling (I keep it up in my personal life too). I genuinely wish I could be more relaxed - but I just am not comfortable or at ease without every last thing being scheduled. Let me say, that I loosen up with my daycare kids and don't have them as regimented as I would like simply because it doesn't work with young children - but we do have specific times for everything and everyone does things at the same time. I would be a basket case trying to run things how you do - and I'm sure you would be stressed with my day.
I just think we need to accept that each person is setting their daycare up in the way that they are the most comfortable. A stressed unhappy childcare provider is worthless to anyone. And therefore our clients will find the care that is most in line with how their family works and child thrives. No right or wrong, just different.Comment
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