My Own Son and A DCM - Feeling Upset!!!!

[AfterSchoolMom]

I'd have flipped the mother heifer out.........



Since you didn't I give you permission to call the school and flip the mother heifer out on the principal right now

I'd have done both!!! No one tells me what I can and cannot do with MY child. You should definitely not let this go.

[youretooloud]

Unless he's in a juvenile prison, I don't see why you couldn't fix his bloody nose at least.

I, personally think schools should either chill the heck out, or stop doing programs during the day. If they are so worried about someone snatching a kid, then do the programs at night. If they are afraid a parent will stand at the back of the auditorium with a gun, then do the programs at night.

If your son needed some help, and a tissue, then calmer heads should reason that "mom can fix this and bring him back to class for us".

I could see if you were schlepping six daycare kids with you, they'd rather you just leave, otherwise you are adding to the chaos.

But, I can just PROMISE you that if you said those same words to daycare mom, that she'd flip out.

[bunnyslippers]

Unless he's in a juvenile prison, I don't see why you couldn't fix his bloody nose at least.

I, personally think schools should either chill the heck out, or stop doing programs during the day. If they are so worried about someone snatching a kid, then do the programs at night. If they are afraid a parent will stand at the back of the auditorium with a gun, then do the programs at night.

If your son needed some help, and a tissue, then calmer heads should reason that "mom can fix this and bring him back to class for us".

I could see if you were schlepping six daycare kids with you, they'd rather you just leave, otherwise you are adding to the chaos.

But, I can just PROMISE you that if you said those same words to daycare mom, that she'd flip out.

You are so right! I am just not looking forward to her picking up today...I know she is going to try and inform me of how I should have handled it. I will not be able to keep my cool, and will probably say something that is less than kind.

I am just so ready for my munchkin to get home...this has been a LOOOOONG day and it needs to be over!

[wdmmom]

If my child is injured in ANY way, it is my god given right as a parent to do what I feel is necessary. Even if that means breaking the "rules".

Considering there was a legitimate reason for you to do what you did, I would have asked the teacher what happened and I would have taken him directly to the nurse. I wouldn't have left my child in distress.

If he didn't calm down after a visit to the nurses office, I would have brought him home. If he calmed down and got himself situated, I would have walked him back to class and then went home.

If a DCP treated my child like that, lets just say, they WOULDN'T get away with it!!!

[jokalima]

We do home school so I am not unbiased. As soon as they tried to take child away from me I would have had them out of school.

K

I've been thinking about but am afraid:

1- My family, what they will think about it, no one has done this in our families.

2- I have an only child, I worry he will get lonely or end up being a "mama's boy"

3- Don't know if I have what it takes to do this succesfully

But the more I read things and think about it i just don;t want him in a public school and can't afford a private one.

[SquirrellyMama]

I've been thinking about but am afraid:

1- My family, what they will think about it, no one has done this in our families.

2- I have an only child, I worry he will get lonely or end up being a "mama's boy"

3- Don't know if I have what it takes to do this succesfully

But the more I read things and think about it i just don;t want him in a public school and can't afford a private one.

To answer a few of your thoughts.

1. I thrive on deviating from the norm
2. Joining a homeschool group is great for not being isolated and getting your child together with others.
3. I'm probably the least likely person to be successful but I think my kids are thriving despite my personality

K

[laundrymom]

Not wanting to get in a public, private, HS debate. This issue is the dcm who overstepped her bounds and bullied you.

Not only would I call to check on junior, I would inform dcm that she was out of line.
I would remind her that you are his mother, she's not in charge of the schoOl and if she ever removes your son from your arms again. She'd be missing an arm.

Ugh. Sending you love.

[momofsix]

I've been thinking about but am afraid:

1- My family, what they will think about it, no one has done this in our families.

2- I have an only child, I worry he will get lonely or end up being a "mama's boy"

3- Don't know if I have what it takes to do this succesfully

But the more I read things and think about it i just don;t want him in a public school and can't afford a private one.

OP-it's too late to change what happened now, but I would definitely say something to dcm today. That was so unacceptable. Did she even take care of your child's bloody nose? I'd be furious

Jokalima, I home-schooled for many years. I started in 1996, way before it became popular like it is now.
1. who cares what your family thinks. YOU are the one responsible for your child. I worried about it too though. After I started my sister actually started too My family was actually very supportive and came to any "programs" we had.

2. My children had each other, so that did make a difference. They also had other home-school friends, church friends, neighborhood friends...and me Not much loneliness around our home-school!

3. If there were things I didn't know then I'd learn them right along with my kids! It was great! When it came to things like high school math I had someone else do the teaching. There are a ton of resources out there for homeschooling parents now.

If you really want to do it go for it! I have never regretted it for a moment!

[SquirrellyMama]

Not wanting to get in a public, private, HS debate. This issue is the dcm who overstepped her bounds and bullied you.

Not only would I call to check on junior, I would inform dcm that she was out of line.
I would remind her that you are his mother, she's not in charge of the schoOl and if she ever removes your son from your arms again. She'd be missing an arm.

Ugh. Sending you love.

and Hugs for pick up time. I would not want to have that conversation.

K

[CedarCreek]

I'm proud of you for not slapping dcm. I know you wanted too!

That was completely out of line! I would have went after my son to comfort him as well.

Good luck at pick up. I hope you give her a piece of your mind in the calmest way possible. But I know that will be hard.

[NeedaVaca]

If you have words with this DCM just make it clear that you are perfectly aware of the "rules" but this was absolutely different with extenuating circumstances. The situation was not handled correctly and you should have had every right to make sure your son was fine, take him to the nurse, etc...I think a call to the principle is in order Hope your son is ok!!

[Mom&Provider]

Uh huh NO WAY!!! If that was MY child, I would have said "Excuse me but the rules are for kids who are well or unhurt, mine is hurt. I will take it from here" and then would have.

NO ONE is going to tell me I cannot soothe, comfort or be with my child when something like that is happening!

I would be very upset with that DCM as like I said, the situation went from normal to chaotic pretty fast so rules no longer applied.

[WDW]

Has DCM ever broken one of your rules, stretched a rule, been late? If so, I think that she would be receiving notice from me. Maybe even if she hadn't. "You know you can't do this..." Excuse me?

[JenNJ]

I will be the one to disagree. While I think dcm could have gone about it better, YOU were wrong.

When you enroll your child in school, you are turning them over to the state and school district's rules. I know I had to sign papers agreeing to how the school is run and how all sorts of situations would be handled. I know my son is in the custody of the school from the moment he is picked up on the bus until the moment he is dropped off at home.

Dcm was doing her job. She was following the rules that her job requires her to follow. They need to be in control of the kids and surroundings 100% of the time. You were interfering with procedure. It stinks to see your kid hurt and sad, but you said he was holding his teachers hand. He was going back into the school presumably to be taken care of.

That is a lot of kids, a lot of UNKNOWN adults, and very few staff members trying to keep charge in the face of an emergency in the school. You can be upset about it, but dcm did the right thing. You can't remove your child from the school/teacher without following policy which usually involves proper identification and signing the child out. that is for the safety of your child and it shows a chain of custody which is imperative for liability reasons. You also cannot hold the class up when his teacher is trying to get the class inside. It is dangerous for all the kids, including your own.

If you are unhappy with turning your child over to the care of the school, you need to seriously consider homeschooling.

As a dcp, I am really surprised you don't see how this could be a large problem for the school if they let you be with your child in this very unorganized and chaotic situation. You of all people should know that things can get crazy with young kids and unknown situations. Things can get out of control quickly. Adding in even one other adult can cause a major issue for a variety of reasons.

[CedarCreek]

I will be the one to disagree. While I think dcm could have gone about it better, YOU were wrong.

When you enroll your child in school, you are turning them over to the state and school district's rules. I know I had to sign papers agreeing to how the school is run and how all sorts of situations would be handled. I know my son is in the custody of the school from the moment he is picked up on the bus until the moment he is dropped off at home.

Dcm was doing her job. She was following the rules that her job requires her to follow. They need to be in control of the kids and surroundings 100% of the time. You were interfering with procedure. It stinks to see your kid hurt and sad, but you said he was holding his teachers hand. He was going back into the school presumably to be taken care of.

That is a lot of kids, a lot of UNKNOWN adults, and very few staff members trying to keep charge in the face of an emergency in the school. You can be upset about it, but dcm did the right thing. You can't remove your child from the school/teacher without following policy which usually involves proper identification and signing the child out. that is for the safety of your child and it shows a chain of custody which is imperative for liability reasons. You also cannot hold the class up when his teacher is trying to get the class inside. It is dangerous for all the kids, including your own.

If you are unhappy with turning your child over to the care of the school, you need to seriously consider homeschooling.

As a dcp, I am really surprised you don't see how this could be a large problem for the school if they let you be with your child in this very unorganized and chaotic situation. You of all people should know that things can get crazy with young kids and unknown situations. Things can get out of control quickly. Adding in even one other adult can cause a major issue for a variety of reasons.

And if this was your child you wouldn't have done the same thing? Please!

Her son had a BLOODY NOSE. He wasn't simply freaked out or frightened. He was injured. Rule or no rule, heaven help the person who tries to keep me away from my injured child.