My Own Son and A DCM - Feeling Upset!!!!

[bunnyslippers]

I really didn't mean to offend and thought I DID use kind words?? :confused:

We did not originally have some of the information that you later clarified, and speaking for myself, I could only go with the facts I was given.

No ill will. I promise!! As I said, I was playing Devil's Advocate.

Lucy, I was not directing my comment to you at all. Your response was perfectly appropriate, kind and honest! I agree with your post, as well as the other one that was critical. You did not offend me in the least~

I was just having a tough mommy day, and the teacher in me checked out a bit. It is incredibly hard to find a balance between the two sometimes!

[Lucy]

Lucy, I was not directing my comment to you at all. Your response was perfectly appropriate, kind and honest! I agree with your post, as well as the other one that was critical. You did not offend me in the least~

I was just having a tough mommy day, and the teacher in me checked out a bit. It is incredibly hard to find a balance between the two sometimes!

Gotcha. ::

[Angelsj]

I will be the one to disagree. While I think dcm could have gone about it better, YOU were wrong.

When you enroll your child in school, you are turning them over to the state and school district's rules. I know I had to sign papers agreeing to how the school is run and how all sorts of situations would be handled. I know my son is in the custody of the school from the moment he is picked up on the bus until the moment he is dropped off at home.

Dcm was doing her job. She was following the rules that her job requires her to follow. They need to be in control of the kids and surroundings 100% of the time. You were interfering with procedure. It stinks to see your kid hurt and sad, but you said he was holding his teachers hand. He was going back into the school presumably to be taken care of.

That is a lot of kids, a lot of UNKNOWN adults, and very few staff members trying to keep charge in the face of an emergency in the school. You can be upset about it, but dcm did the right thing. You can't remove your child from the school/teacher without following policy which usually involves proper identification and signing the child out. that is for the safety of your child and it shows a chain of custody which is imperative for liability reasons. You also cannot hold the class up when his teacher is trying to get the class inside. It is dangerous for all the kids, including your own.

If you are unhappy with turning your child over to the care of the school, you need to seriously consider homeschooling.

As a dcp, I am really surprised you don't see how this could be a large problem for the school if they let you be with your child in this very unorganized and chaotic situation. You of all people should know that things can get crazy with young kids and unknown situations. Things can get out of control quickly. Adding in even one other adult can cause a major issue for a variety of reasons.

This would precisely be one of the many, many reasons we homeschool. There is no way I would turn my kids over to anyone, and relinquish my rights as a parent. Nor would I have left the child there. I would have removed my child on the spot.

On the few occasions I have allowed the kids to "try" a semester of school or participate in activities, I made it VERY clear that I was NOT giving them that power, and that I would be on the premises or available by phone at any moment.

[Blackcat31]

If I had it to do over. I would home school in a heart beat.

[jokalima]

I will have my husband sit in front of pc and read all of this posts... Wow!

I can get the part of the teachers trying to do their jobs and keeping child safe but, if I know the parent, and know them well, why would I take the child away? I mean, is not like if it was a stranger grabbing the child, it was his mom and a teacher saw her, they new he was safe with that adult that was trying to be there for him. I personally would not be able to deal with this, and if is true that i have to sign papers and basically "surrender" custody to the state while they are @ school, then I don't want him in school. Anyone from CT that knows if that applies to the schools here?

[JenNJ]

You are all taking custody too far. I mean that my child is in their physical custody during school hours and in order to see him, I need to follow procedure. For safety reasons I cannot just enter the school, find my child, and leave.

[bunnyslippers]

You are all taking custody too far. I mean that my child is in their physical custody during school hours and in order to see him, I need to follow procedure. For safety reasons I cannot just enter the school, find my child, and leave.

I didn't do that - the kids were outside, and I was standing right there. But thanks. You are a peach.

[Sugar Magnolia]

What happened at pick up?

[Country Kids]

I will be the one to disagree. While I think dcm could have gone about it better, YOU were wrong.

When you enroll your child in school, you are turning them over to the state and school district's rules. I know I had to sign papers agreeing to how the school is run and how all sorts of situations would be handled. I know my son is in the custody of the school from the moment he is picked up on the bus until the moment he is dropped off at home.

Dcm was doing her job. She was following the rules that her job requires her to follow. They need to be in control of the kids and surroundings 100% of the time. You were interfering with procedure. It stinks to see your kid hurt and sad, but you said he was holding his teachers hand. He was going back into the school presumably to be taken care of.

That is a lot of kids, a lot of UNKNOWN adults, and very few staff members trying to keep charge in the face of an emergency in the school. You can be upset about it, but dcm did the right thing. You can't remove your child from the school/teacher without following policy which usually involves proper identification and signing the child out. that is for the safety of your child and it shows a chain of custody which is imperative for liability reasons. You also cannot hold the class up when his teacher is trying to get the class inside. It is dangerous for all the kids, including your own.

If you are unhappy with turning your child over to the care of the school, you need to seriously consider homeschooling.

As a dcp, I am really surprised you don't see how this could be a large problem for the school if they let you be with your child in this very unorganized and chaotic situation. You of all people should know that things can get crazy with young kids and unknown situations. Things can get out of control quickly. Adding in even one other adult can cause a major issue for a variety of reasons.

For one I have NEVER signed any such forms and I have been in the school system since the 90's and have 8 more years to go.

I have been through 4 principles in just the elementary school, 2 through middle school, we have 1 at our hs but 4 or 5 assistants principles. I have been fortunate enough to know several outside of school and believe me, there is no way they would allow a stunt like that to be pulled.

I would never sign my child OVER to the school system. It would be a cold day before that happened.

In fact everytime there is an even in school, I sign my child out early and they come home with me. There has never been a problem with that.

[JenNJ]

Let me start my response with this...I agree with most of what you said and think many of your points are valid. HOWEVER, you have some of your facts wrong. And your delivery is downright nasty and a bit offensive. You can express your opinions while still being kind.

I didn't insult anyone nor was I unkind. The facts I had wrong were not clear in the OP.


I was a teacher in a public school, for many years. I recognize the difficult position the teachers were in today, and also recognize how important it is for them to keep every child safe. I both recognize and respect that. I do entrust my children to them, every day. I live in a very small town, and the teachers in the school all know me, on sight. We are a very close knit community, and we all take care of one another. When the children were exiting the building, I walked several of them out to their class lines. That is just how we operate in this town.

I did not pull him out of line. His teacher was fully aware of me being there and walking with him - in his line - to calm him down. She let go of his hand and allowed me to walk with him.

That sounds great. Small town schools are awesome, but again, that info wasn't clear in the OP.

The teacher who pulled him away from me is NOT his teacher. She is a friend of mine, and also a parent of some of the children I care for each day. I was upset because my injured child was moved away from me before I could even say goodbye to him.

Totally understandable, and I agreed with you that how she handled it was not professional at all.

Again, I recognize the chaotic situation we were in. It was frightening, for everyone involved. The children, parents and staff were all in a heightened state of fear. Thank goodness it turned out to be a false alarm, or this would be a very different post.

The teacher/friend who pulled my child away from me just came and picked up her children. The first thing she did when she walked in was hug me and apologize for "tearing my bleeding child away" from me. We all discussed the situation frankly and openly, and thanked God that our children are safe and that we have one another to look after each other's children.

My sweet little man is home and doing fine. Thanks to all of you for your supportive words today. I did need to hear from other moms, and I was feeling very sad about the whole thing. You all (well, most of you) helped me through a trying day. Again, I am grateful I have this forum!

This would precisely be one of the many, many reasons we homeschool. There is no way I would turn my kids over to anyone, and relinquish my rights as a parent. Nor would I have left the child there. I would have removed my child on the spot.

On the few occasions I have allowed the kids to "try" a semester of school or participate in activities, I made it VERY clear that I was NOT giving them that power, and that I would be on the premises or available by phone at any moment.

I have never relinquished my parental rights, but by having a child attend any school, you are giving them the RESPONSIBILITY of caring for your child. You are agreeing to certain procedures. Many schools have a chain showing where each child is at all times. This is why attendance is called each morning, head counts are done, and signing kids in/out is so important. It keeps track of the kids at all times.

I didn't do that - the kids were outside, and I was standing right there. But thanks. You are a peach.

Not sure what I said here to make you mad, I was referring to the other posters who were insinuating that I somehow gave my kid away be sending him to public school.

For one I have NEVER signed any such forms and I have been in the school system since the 90's and have 8 more years to go.

I have been through 4 principles in just the elementary school, 2 through middle school, we have 1 at our hs but 4 or 5 assistants principles. I have been fortunate enough to know several outside of school and believe me, there is no way they would allow a stunt like that to be pulled.

I would never sign my child OVER to the school system. It would be a cold day before that happened.

I was saying that you are agreeing to certain school/county/state procedures. Very similar to how we as daycares need to adhere to state/county laws in our childcares. We cannot just release kids to anyone and have to have our paperwork in order when an emergency occurs.

I have never seen any child accepted into any school where paperwork was not handed in. No emergency forms? No procedure and policy handbook? Really? I find that VERY hard to believe. Ours is on the school website. It explains every facet of the school policy and who to contact with questions. I had to agree to those policies before my child could attend school. I signed forms at registration. Again, very similar to a contract that we work with as childcare providers.

In fact everytime there is an even in school, I sign my child out early and they come home with me. There has never been a problem with that.
As do I. The school always allows me immediate access to my child when needed. As long as I show up with my ID and sign the paper in the office, I can take him out of school anytime.

Sorry if I offended you OP, but you really weren't very clear in the first post. I'm glad dcm apologized for being rude and I'm glad your son is doing better.

[AfterSchoolMom]

Bunnyslippers, what finally happened? How is your child now?

[Angelsj]

You are all taking custody too far. I mean that my child is in their physical custody during school hours and in order to see him, I need to follow procedure. For safety reasons I cannot just enter the school, find my child, and leave.

Actually, you can. You have the final say in your child's whereabouts. You are letting the school know AS A COURTESY, but you are the parent. You do NOT have to relinquish that power.

[Country Kids]

"I was saying that you are agreeing to certain school/county/state procedures. Very similar to how we as daycares need to adhere to state/county laws in our childcares. We cannot just release kids to anyone and have to have our paperwork in order when an emergency occurs.

I have never seen any child accepted into any school where paperwork was not handed in. No emergency forms? No procedure and policy handbook? Really? I find that VERY hard to believe. Ours is on the school website. It explains every facet of the school policy and who to contact with questions. I had to agree to those policies before my child could attend school. I signed forms at registration. Again, very similar to a contract that we work with as childcare providers.

For our schools we fill out a emergency form/picture form/watch a movie form/field trips. The school handbook is way off on another table and the school actually has hardly any takers on them as they aren't a "required" part of the paperwork. If you want one, you take it if not no problem.Nothing on our websites either but everything else is-teachers numbers, pictures, lunch menu, etc.



In fact everytime there is an even in school, I sign my child out early and they come home with me. There has never been a problem with that.
As do I. The school always allows me immediate access to my child when needed. As long as I show up with my ID and sign the paper in the office, I can take him out of school anytime. "

Today when I was at our valentine party, I went to the office and the secretary said just go on down, you've been here for enough years- no worries. The principal was even standing there and there were no issues about me not signng in.

[MyAngels]

Let me start my response with this...I agree with most of what you said and think many of your points are valid. HOWEVER, you have some of your facts wrong. And your delivery is downright nasty and a bit offensive. You can express your opinions while still being kind.

I was a teacher in a public school, for many years. I recognize the difficult position the teachers were in today, and also recognize how important it is for them to keep every child safe. I both recognize and respect that. I do entrust my children to them, every day. I live in a very small town, and the teachers in the school all know me, on sight. We are a very close knit community, and we all take care of one another. When the children were exiting the building, I walked several of them out to their class lines. That is just how we operate in this town.

I did not pull him out of line. His teacher was fully aware of me being there and walking with him - in his line - to calm him down. She let go of his hand and allowed me to walk with him.

The teacher who pulled him away from me is NOT his teacher. She is a friend of mine, and also a parent of some of the children I care for each day. I was upset because my injured child was moved away from me before I could even say goodbye to him.

Again, I recognize the chaotic situation we were in. It was frightening, for everyone involved. The children, parents and staff were all in a heightened state of fear. Thank goodness it turned out to be a false alarm, or this would be a very different post.

The teacher/friend who pulled my child away from me just came and picked up her children. The first thing she did when she walked in was hug me and apologize for "tearing my bleeding child away" from me. We all discussed the situation frankly and openly, and thanked God that our children are safe and that we have one another to look after each other's children.

My sweet little man is home and doing fine. Thanks to all of you for your supportive words today. I did need to hear from other moms, and I was feeling very sad about the whole thing. You all (well, most of you) helped me through a trying day. Again, I am grateful I have this forum!

For those asking, this was the resolution .

[AfterSchoolMom]

For those asking, this was the resolution .

Sorry, I missed that. Really glad that it turned out ok and that DCM apologized.