Son Summarily Dismissed Because of Parents Question

[Janet]

Thank you...

I couldn't agree more. I had an incident where a 5yo DCG used the term "you're gay" like she was saying "you're dumb". She didn't understand why she couldn't say that if "mommy & daddy said it all the time". I asked her if she knew what it meant and she had no clue. It took that one time to get all of the rest of the kids to start saying it. The older kids of course knew what it meant and thought it was funny to use it a derogatory term. I discussed it with the parents and encouraged them to have a talk with their kids about what being gay meant and let the parents know that I would have a discussion with the kids about it the next day. None of the parents had a problem with this and I let the kids ask questions so they got "basic" idea about it. I read "Asha's Mums" to them which I had bought when my sister was young and had gone through the same thing. It all went well and the kids understood that it was not nice to say or use the term like this. We also covered the subject about how everyone was entitled to their own opinion as long as they were not mean about it at daycare, whether they accepted gay/lesbians or not.

Since then I had added this to my policies about learning about cultural awareness and personal beliefs: "All materials will be presented in an objective and impartial way and are intended to aid the children in developing a positive self-concept and feeling of pride in who they are as well as teaching them to accept and celebrate differences"

That being said, I understand that the question was about a gay pride day but I'll bet my last dollar if the pre-K was to discuss the gay/lesbian subject whether in passing and no matter how impartial and not actually have a gay pride day that this mom would have a fit.

I like your post! It's nice to read a post from someone that isn't turning me into the person doing the discriminationg !

[QualiTcare]

i agree that parents should be the ones to tell their children about these things. sadly, a lot of the parents who insist on being the one to teach their children about these things are the ones who never get around to doing it, or they have sheltered children, or they have bigoted views.

even still, it's their right to be the ones to talk about it. there are parents who don't want their children participating in "sex ed." why? because they don't want their children to have sex - and not KNOWING about sex means they won't have it! ::

they were going to show a video in kindergarten about "good touches and bad touches" and invited parents to view the video first if they wanted to. i did because i could just see my daughter screaming out in class, "one time my brother touched by butt!" and then being investigated. so, i wanted to see it and talk to her about it first. but not allowing kids to be exposed to things is of no benefit to them. if you know they're going to be exposed to something - talk to them about it and let them see/hear it OR keep them home. saying that you don't want them to know about "gays" is just as suspicious as it would've been if i had said i didn't want my child knowing about "good touches and bad touches." it raises red flags.

btw, i don't think 4 is too young to learn that there are gay people. i don't see a point in TEACHING about it - but if the subject were to come up - i don't see a big deal. my daughter was four when she saw two men holding hands at wal mart (which isn't common here) and she asked, "are those two men married." i said, "i don't know. they probably love each other." she said, "oh." end of story. had i reacted differently, she'd probably be making a scene every time she saw a homosexual couple.

i don't think we have the full story though. i don't see any daycare flat out celebrating gay pride. i have the feeling there is someone gay either working at the center or whose child attends the center. it must've been outlandish to cause termination.

[Chickenhauler]

The biggest question I have is, "Why was it even brought up"?


Unless the place is run by a group of guys who dress like the Chiquita banana lady with a few odd members of the Village people thrown in, or run by a couple women who have shorter hair than Marine drill instructors, wear more flannel than Paul Bunyon, and have deeper voices than Jim Reeves, I can't see why it would even be brought up.

And, if this was the case (suspicions) then if a person is so opposed to that behavior, why would they even think of leaving their child in that care center?

[kidkair]

I don't know if you are referring to my example but if so, they didn't want me to have ANY Christmas at all. Not just a one day party. They didn't want him in a home that had a Christmas tree, Christmas decorations, Santa stuff, presents... NO Christmas anything that the child could see. The same for any other holiday that was Christian religion based.

Keeping him out of our house for the party we do wasn't the issue. That's one day not an entire Christmas season.

Also... this wasn't terminating a kid. The kid did not ever attend my day care. I didn't TAKE the kid because I wasn't going to rob my kid and the day care kids of OUR belief to celebrate religious holidays as much and as openly as we do. I'm not going to not have a Christmas Tree, presents out etc. for a day care family. I'm not going to miss out on having Christmas music during the season. I'm not going to stop making Christmas treats and cookies for the kids and their families.

We love all the holidays but Christmas is tops. It's my favorite time of the year and I just don't want it to be a decision the day care parents can affect in ANY way. My parents love how we love Christmas. They are right in it and are very happy to see the tree, presents, treats and party.

I won't give that up for a potential client. I don't care about being politically correct when it comes to my kids childhood and memories. This is my house.

In my daycare I stay far away from inflicting the day care children with my family traditions and religion. I am not here to teach them about religious belief. During the winter we have a Children's Day Celebration. We celebrate that they are the upcoming owners of the world and have discussions on what that might mean. We give the children gifts as a sign of our love for them not because of some overly marketed holiday.

[Janet]

Oh well...

I guess that this is one of the times where everyone will just have to agree to disagree. Given the fact that the OP hasn't been back to respond lately, it seems to me like this may have been a poster who registered just to stir up some drama. We all feel the way that we all feel and that's OK. If I offended anyone, then for that I apologize. It doesn't change the way that I feel, but if I made anyone mad with my opinions, then only for that am I sorry.

I think that I have made enough people uncomfortable that I should probably not be on this forum anymore and I feel a little awkward posting now. It's been nice to post here and it's been a nice place to talk to fellow providers. I'm going to delete my account on this forum but if anyone wants to keep in contact with me, I'll leave my email address so that we can keep in touch. Thanks.

jmainville1976@hotmail.com

[jen]

Hey Janet! Don't do that! I'd miss your posts!!!

[MsKara]

I will not give the OP a break on this subject. Kids learn how to discriminate in the first few years of their lives. Parents, whether they know it or not, help to shape their child's beliefs and if a parent is already setting the example that gay pride related activities are things that the chcild shouldn't be exposed to, then what do you think that the child will learn from that? I'll tell you. The child will equate being gay with being wrong and not natural. No disrepect intended but if you think that the OP's reasons for not wanting her child to take part or be around anything gay pride related is about the child being too young to know about these things then you are severely out of touch.

I just think that it's sad.

I think this is really sad. You are discriminating against someone's religious beliefs. If everyone was tolerant of everyone elses beliefs, than no one could truly say they believe in something. You can't believe "everyone" is right or you don't really have a belief system. We all have a right to our belief systems, and a right to raise our kids with the same morals and values we have. Just because someone thinks it is a sin to be sexually active with someone of the same sex, doesn't mean they hate that person or they are discriminating. They just have a different belief and want to raise their kids with the same belief system. It is their right as a parent. They just believe different. You are making people who have strong religious beliefs (that you may disagree with) afraid to speak up or be different. You are the one discriminating. I think it's easier to be gay than it is to be a christian these days. So sad.

Janet also said quote "Jesus H. Hubert Tap-Dancing Christ, lady!" - The way I see it, you have no right even speaking on this subject when you show such hatred and disrespect towards christianity.

[Janet]

MsKara

I think this is really sad. You are discriminating against someone's religious beliefs. If everyone was tolerant of everyone elses beliefs, than no one could truly say they believe in something. You can't believe "everyone" is right or you don't really have a belief system. We all have a right to our belief systems, and a right to raise our kids with the same morals and values we have. Just because someone thinks it is a sin to be sexually active with someone of the same sex, doesn't mean they hate that person or they are discriminating. They just have a different belief and want to raise their kids with the same belief system. It is their right as a parent. They just believe different. You are making people who have strong religious beliefs (that you may disagree with) afraid to speak up or be different. You are the one discriminating. I think it's easier to be gay than it is to be a christian these days. So sad.

Refer to my last post, OK? I already apologized for upsetting anyone and I'm done on this board. It's over, OK? I realize that I crossed a line and I apologized for it. I have my opinions and you have yours. I'm done apologizing.

[Crystal]

Janet, I think you're okay. You're simply passionate about this topic, and may have said some things that came across differently than you intended.

You have alot of great content on this forum, and alot to share with other providers, you shouldn't walk away just because of one minor disagreement. Geez, if I did that Idda been gon a LONG time ago

[nannyde]

Refer to my last post, OK? I already apologized for upsetting anyone and I'm done on this board. It's over, OK? I realize that I crossed a line and I apologized for it. I have my opinions and you have yours. I'm done apologizing.

I heart Janet.

Stay

[Janet]

Oh please...

I think this is really sad. You are discriminating against someone's religious beliefs. If everyone was tolerant of everyone elses beliefs, than no one could truly say they believe in something. You can't believe "everyone" is right or you don't really have a belief system. We all have a right to our belief systems, and a right to raise our kids with the same morals and values we have. Just because someone thinks it is a sin to be sexually active with someone of the same sex, doesn't mean they hate that person or they are discriminating. They just have a different belief and want to raise their kids with the same belief system. It is their right as a parent. They just believe different. You are making people who have strong religious beliefs (that you may disagree with) afraid to speak up or be different. You are the one discriminating. I think it's easier to be gay than it is to be a christian these days. So sad.

Janet also said quote "Jesus H. Hubert Tap-Dancing Christ, lady!" - The way I see it, you have no right even speaking on this subject when you show such hatred and disrespect towards christianity.

It might surprise you to know that I do not hate nor disrespect christianity. I am a christian. I don't hate christianity, nor do I hate christians. I don't disrespect christianity, nor do I disrespect christians. I think that you are blowing my comment out of proportion. I feel pretty sure that God still loves me even though I tend to be a little crass at times.

[Janet]

Crystal...

Janet, I think you're okay. You're simply passionate about this topic, and may have said some things that came across differently than you intended.

You have alot of great content on this forum, and alot to share with other providers, you shouldn't walk away just because of one minor disagreement. Geez, if I did that Idda been gon a LONG time ago

Thanks! I do tend to get pretty riled up at times (not too often, but when I do I can be a little much...) Thank you for getting me I do like coming here and I want to keep coming here but only if it's n ot gonna be weird, KWIM?

[Janet]

Nan...

I heart Janet.

Stay

Awwww...I heart you, too!!!!!!

[momofboys]

[/B]

It might surprise you to know that I do not hate nor disrespect christianity. I am a christian. I don't hate christianity, nor do I hate christians. I don't disrespect christianity, nor do I disrespect christians. I think that you are blowing my comment out of proportion. I feel pretty sure that God still loves me even though I tend to be a little crass at times.

Please don't leave Janet! I look forward to reading your posts. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Don't let a difference of opinion make you think about leaving.

[Janet]

Please don't leave Janet! I look forward to reading your posts. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Don't let a difference of opinion make you think about leaving.

Thank you for being supportive

I think that I will just need to work on not taking comments too personally. I think I'll stay because I like this forum, despite the bad direction that this thread took.

Again, thanks