My Mom Does Not Like You....

[Blackcat31]

I guess I did not look at it this way. NO DCM is not my friend, but she has been a very nice person to me and I guess no one wants to be disliked no matter our age.

The only reason that I want to maybe say something, is becuase the kid keeps going on and on about it and saying how much his family does not like me, my house ****s and so on and so on.. I know it is coming from a 3.5 year old, but it still hurts. this kid does not make things up, so I know that there is some truth in it. The last thing that I want is little susie and johnny going home repeating what this DCK is saying.....

Oh I know. It does **** if someone says they don't like you but really in all honesty, you have to not let it get to you. If we hear things now and then imagine how much we don't hear....kwim?

I had a 5 yr old DCB tell me around Halloween that his mom thought I was a "B*%#ch" all because I wouldn't let him wear his costume outside without a coat.
It kind of stung at first because yes, we are human but then I stopped and asked myself....WHY does it matter?

I actually cared enough about HER child and I am the B. Whatever....ya know.

If your DCM is nice, that is great but really what happens if you do ask her...what is she really going to say "Oh yeah I can't stand you so we are taking Billy and going somewhere else." What changes then?

What if she says "Oh, Billy must have mis-heard me. I never said that and we aren't going anywhere (or we are leaving)". What then? Does it change anything. Does it REALLY make her like you any more or any less?

Does it change if they are leaving your care or not? Probably not as most families don't leave because they suddenly decide they don't like the provider. It is usually because they don't like or can't work with the policies...kwim? Are you going to change your rules because she doesn't like them? See where I am going?

You can't make people like you. You can provide services to the best of your ability. You can be the best and most professional provider you can be and if someone doesn't like you because of it or chooses to leave your program becauseof it, you are still the bigger, better and more mature person.

Stop caring about whether she likes you or not and leave it be. You will drive yourself batty over something you really can't change.

[allsmiles]

Just out of curiousity, what bothers you....the fact that they might be leaving your care or that the DCM doesn't like you?

I wouldn't ask her either question.

I have heard so many things from kids over the years that I rarely believe them until it either happens or the parent tells me themselves.

Honestly, it doesn't really sound like you like this mom all that much so really what difference does it make if she likes you or doesn't? You aren't friends. You are a service provider and she purchases your services. If she is your friend, well then you need to re-think your friendships as it isn't very cool that she argues your policies with you.

Secondly, if you have a contract and require parents to give written notice, then you will find out if they are leaving when they give you notice.

If you ask, IMHO it just comes across as needy and insecure.

i agree.. i wouldnt mention first cuz i have no backbone, second because even if they did say it i doubt they would admit it.. (blame the crazy toddler) and three.. im sure a few of my parents dont "care for me" because ive had to lay down the law..that doesnt make me a bad person.
lovethis i know that it hurts a little especially when little one thinks he can be a brat about it.. but just know that you are a good provider and they are gonna be a pain even for their next provider!

[Nellie]

I guess I did not look at it this way. NO DCM is not my friend, but she has been a very nice person to me and I guess no one wants to be disliked no matter our age.

The only reason that I want to maybe say something, is becuase the kid keeps going on and on about it and saying how much his family does not like me, my house ****s and so on and so on.. I know it is coming from a 3.5 year old, but it still hurts. this kid does not make things up, so I know that there is some truth in it. The last thing that I want is little susie and johnny going home repeating what this DCK is saying.....

I agree with Black Cat's suggestions. One thing I would probable tell child it is not nice to say "your house ****s." or what ever rude comment he is repeating.

[countrymom]

don't say anything and let it play out. I have a kid who did this too, it was because I charged his mom 5 dollars for afterschool, she wanted to pay me 3 dollars, really for 2 dollars she's not going to send him here anymore. And really good ridence.

[Crystal]

tell the kid you don't like her Mom, so you're even. Then tell her to make sure she tells her mom.


DISCLAIMER: I am KIDDING!!!

[Binkybobo]

Ii'd ask. I've had ro ask once when I worked at a private preschool. I don't think it is that bog of a deal. The child said something, you want to know if it is true so that you can stop worrying yourself sick. I wouldn't ask the mom if she liked you. I would just say,"Child, Keeps saying that she is going to a new school! You're not leaving me are you?" Or say whatever fits your personality. The mom will most likely discuss the reasons with you, and you can end it on good terms as someone else mentioned. This will also give you time to fill the spot. The fact that you don't like this mom does not change the fact that not knowing the answer is driving you crazy.

[Unregistered]

lots of great advice here...

After everyones advice I have decided to ask the mom if they are leaving.

I have also asked the DCK to stop his impolite comments. If he does not like it here fine, but if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all.


I do like this DCM, I think this is why I was so shocked that the DCK keeps saying how much they don't like me......BUt as someone said, I need to stop worrying about what they think of me and keep doing a good job at what I do best....


thanks so much ladies and gents (if any) I really appreciate it...

[daycaremom76]

So what happened at pick-up today???

[spud912]

tell the kid you don't like her Mom, so you're even. Then tell her to make sure she tells her mom.


DISCLAIMER: I am KIDDING!!!

:::::::: This was my favorite suggestion!

[Unregistered]

DCK just got picked up and I told DCM what was being said...

the look on her face was priceless. She stuttered for a few seconds and then said yeah well, we really don't like your new polices that you handed out and feel that we will be better off going somewhere else.

I asked her what policies and she said that she is not happy that I will be taking 5 paid vacation days off in 2013.

I told her that I was not aware that they were unhappy about this, but that this indeed was not going to change.

I told her that I understood if she felt she needed to look elsewhere and reminded her that she needed to submit her 30 day notice in writing.

She then says when did that start? I laughed and said since the day you enrolled. Guess the kid starts at the new school on Monday.......

The mom asked if they could get a refund of the already paid monthly tuition for the month of January and I said sorry, you will not be getting a refund back, you should probably go home tonight and read your PHB again. Per the PHB, even though you have told me in person, I still need for you to submit in writing your 30 day request to term.

She looked so furious and I could not help my just stand there and smile.

Guess the kid was not bluffing.

Do you think that it is wrong of me to keep all of the already paid tuition paid for next month? They did not follow my policy and give proper termination of 30 days written notification.....

[countrymom]

OMG!!!! so when was she going to tell you, tommorrow and its because you wanted a vacation. I guess they didn't value you that much. Don't refund them, thats not your problem. You keep that money and buy something nice for the kids. What a dummy! They must have been looking for a bit because thats odd that he would start right away.

[Michael]

I would stick to your policy and keep the money. It will be money well spent for her on not reading what she signs. Lesson learned.

[Crystal]

You did the right thing. I would not refund the prepaid tution either. Policies are in place for EXACTLY this reason....so that you are not left scrambling at the last minute to come up with lost funds to pay your bills.

Sorry you lost a client. Good luck filling the space.

[rbmom]

You did the right thing and I'm proud you are sticking to your policies!

[daycaremom76]

OMG that's awesome, good for you!!!!happyface Don't you dare give them back any money, you are only hurting yourself by doing that. And obviously DCM didn't care about you and if it hurt you! I don't know any provider (commercial or in-home) that doesn't allow themselves vacation time! I have 2 weeks vacation and all the major holidays! Most commercial centers are closed more then in-home centers. Make sure you stick to the weeks vacation and next year add an additional week. I take one week straight for my "vacation" and the additional 5 days I use throughout the year for doc appts etc. My holidays are New Years, My Birthday, Memorial Day, July 4th, Labor Day, Thanksgiving & Christmas. Don't sell yourself short, most of these kids are with us longer then they are with their own parents and we need mental health days to just relax!! happyface