How would you feel....

[cheerfuldom]

THIS is exactly why some providers have great working relationships with their parents. The number one priority is being a good match NOT the income the family will bring in.

I understand that income is why most of us do this but too many providers are held financially hostage by the income "ill fitting" families bring in.

Those situations cause way too much stress, disagreeing and bad behaviors from providers, parents and children......ultimately leading down a path of eruption sooner or later.

absolutely agree as well. It is hard when you are trying to balance so many things with home daycare because the reality is that most of us are doing this for the income but its important that we all remember that we in the business of relationships. It does no one any good to remain in a situation where the parents, the provider, the child, the other children in care are unhappy on a daily basis. There are some things that are more important than money!

on the other hand, people post a huge variety of issues on this forum. just because a provider is having a hard time with a particular situation, does not mean that there is no remedy and that the family is necessarily a bad fit. Sometimes it just takes a little tweaking. I dont think it would be fair to expect families and providers to be perfectly matched in every way.....as long as they can respect each other and find a way to work together, they can still make something fit.

[Sugar Magnolia]

Its a complicated post......

.....but l think I can summarize both viewpoints this way: Yes, we (providers) can and do need to vent when they (parents) do improper things like not pay on time, ignore policy or are disrespectful. I think Crystal's point is we should choose our venting words more carefully so parents reading this forum don't feel hurt or offended by the words like "stupid parents", "annoying kid" or labeling parenting styles as "wrong".
Both viewpoints are valid, and not necessarily at odds. Vent away ladies, you can and you should, just be mindful parents read these posts and we should never come across as mean or spiteful.
Most of us "lose it" every now and then and post things with a chip on our shoulder. Guilty. I blew up on some people in a post about home daycare vs centers. I felt some posters were just bashing centers and generalizing that we (centers) are all the same and ultimately don't care about kids, just $$$. But I really try to never label or bash parents or children. We need to represent our field to the public in a positive way.
In the words of the late Rodney King..."can't we all just get along?"

[Crystal]

.....but l think I can summarize both viewpoints this way: Yes, we (providers) can and do need to vent when they (parents) do improper things like not pay on time, ignore policy or are disrespectful. I think Crystal's point is we should choose our venting words more carefully so parents reading this forum don't feel hurt or offended by the words like "stupid parents", "annoying kid" or labeling parenting styles as "wrong".
Both viewpoints are valid, and not necessarily at odds. Vent away ladies, you can and you should, just be mindful parents read these posts and we should never come across as mean or spiteful.
Most of us "lose it" every now and then and post things with a chip on our shoulder. Guilty. I blew up on some people in a post about home daycare vs centers. I felt some posters were just bashing centers and generalizing that we (centers) are all the same and ultimately don't care about kids, just $$$. But I really try to never label or bash parents or children. We need to represent our field to the public in a positive way.
In the words of the late Rodney King..."can't we all just get along?"

Yes. Thank you.

[MizzCheryl]

This post makes me extremely angry and grateful that you are not *my* daycare provider. No one ever said you weren't allowed to discuss your job or vent. The point is that sometimes it crosses the line. I honestly wonder when reading some of the posts here why some of you continue to work with people you despise so much? I wouldn't want to send my kids to someone who hated me/us. I've read posts here calling babies "annoying" and other things that turn my stomach. I suppose you don't have to respect parents just because they had sex and had a baby, but if they are your customers I'd think you could at least try. I do not bad mouth my customers, even anonymously. If I did, I wouldn't have a job. Let's put the shoe on the other foot for a moment. Should I respect you just because you decided to open a daycare? I respect people who respect me.

What is it about my post that makes you so mad just wondering?
Did my post turn your stomach?


I do have a right to vent and I have a right to my opinion.

When we take classes in early childhood our books and instructors use scenarios to teach us. They use situations that privder may and do encounter in our jobs. That is how we learn.
I learn from this board. Other provder share their experiences with us and we can learn how to better handle the situations.
Lets do put the shoe on the other foot.
Should you respect me just because I opened a Daycare?

Maybe you should base your respect for me on a little more than that.
My education, job performance, My abilty to provide safe and loving care for a child. Reliability, my abilty to work with you on situations. The fact that day after day the child come to my daycare happy to be here and upon leaving one finds the child was well cared for and has a great relationship with the me.
Those are some of the things that might make a parent respect me as a child care provider. That would be me earning respect. MY point Exactly!

On the other hand a parent could earn my respect by following the rules of my daycare, making proper payment, and picking up and dropping off at agreed upon times. The parent could bring their child clean and ready for the day with the supplies needed. They could expect their child to behave and correct them when need be.
However when a parent habitually picks up late, is argumentative, refuses payment, keeps kids out all hours of the night and breaks contract agreements (just to name a few examples) they will not earn my respect.

[sharlan]

Crystal, thank you for this topic.

I do believe many of us do need a reminder as to where our income comes from. They may not write our checks, but their checks allow us to write ours. I know for a fact that I would not be able to pay my monthly bills without the income they provide.

I think many of us have come into this profession with our eyes closed as well as our minds. I know that when I started 28 years ago, I had some idea as I had been babysitting since I was 13. I also knew how I didn't want my "kids" treated because my kids had way too many horror stories from their short years in daycare.

I've tried to treat all of my parents with respect, regardless of their parenting styles. They didn't tell me how to raise my kids and it's not up to me how they raise theirs.

We are all different. I am very lax and easy going, not much phases me, it works for me. Others are more rigid and uptight. It works for them or they wouldn't be that way.

[Crystal]

Crystal, thank you for this topic.

I do believe many of us do need a reminder as to where our income comes from. They may not write our checks, but their checks allow us to write ours. I know for a fact that I would not be able to pay my monthly bills without the income they provide.

I think many of us have come into this profession with our eyes closed as well as our minds. I know that when I started 28 years ago, I had some idea as I had been babysitting since I was 13. I also knew how I didn't want my "kids" treated because my kids had way too many horror stories from their short years in daycare.

I've tried to treat all of my parents with respect, regardless of their parenting styles. They didn't tell me how to raise my kids and it's not up to me how they raise theirs.

We are all different. I am very lax and easy going, not much phases me, it works for me. Others are more rigid and uptight. It works for them or they wouldn't be that way.

Very well said. Thank you for your feedback.

[Unregistered]

Ditto

I come to this site to discuss my job, daycare. This is a discussion board and that is why we are here. I do not have co workers to discuss it with. The best way for me to figure out somethings is through talking and this as close as I can get sometimes.
The post you referred to about the parents that spend one hour with their child. Well I agree with that poster. She is right! Why bother to have a baby if you are gonna spend 1 hour a day with them? Hummm.... did she mention their names? Did she give any specific details? She was completly anonymous. Do we know her?
Other people talk about their jobs. Are we not allowed to discuss our jobs? Do parents deserve my respect just because they had sex and made a baby? I respect people that earn my respect. Their landlord will not respect them because they have a baby. The Landlord respects them for paying their rent and keeping the rental property clean. Why should I respect them just cause they made a baby?
Why do we have a venting thread if we are not allowed to vent??
Sometimes I need help or want opinions and I post a situation. I see nothing wrong with that.
Parents that refuse to pay their provider, show up late, refuse to respect or request about parking or closing the door. Parents that bring their children in sick or dirty or too tired to participate. They do not respect us. And while not all parents do these thing, Some do. I don't see anything wrong with coming here for support from other providers.
Come on ladies do you not agree???? We are on a daycare discussion board. Can't we discuss daycare? When you come to vent you never mention names, or detail. I don't know any of you?
I like reading about your days and I know that someone else is dealing with the things I deal with. I like seeing advice on how to handle the situations. Should we just be stepford daycare providers?

Totally correct on all counts. First we are not raising their children THEY are! We offer a safe and enjoyable environment for their children while they are at work. You will never like all of the parents nor all the children, but you have to cast that aside because it is still a service we provide.

I am not there to be their friends, and over the years I have seen many horrible parents that should not have had kids. Yes I will judge any bad behavior I see. And its really senseless to get mad at the person reporting the behavior,. Overall my job is to make sure their child enjoys coming to daycare.

Absolutely I have told my friends ect. some pretty funny stories about my parents over the years. One said I should write a book, most realize this culture is part of the entitlement culture, and the kids take a big hit. As providers we see more bad parents, and amazing things. Yes feedback is important! However, on the internet you have to be careful; and best to keep it vague imo. I certainly would not have the name of my daycare or anything that could link me.

If you had a job anywhere you don't always like your co-workers or boss, but you put on a good face and do the job. The paycheck is just as valuable, BUT if a parent is disrespecting me I am my own boss and they will be terminated pretty quick.

In almost every case where a parent bad talked me it was because they were a bad parent themselves, and it was over money or behaviour problems with them or their child. Why waste oxygen getting mad, sad whatever....its best to terminate immediately and get the problem out. They are easily replaceable, and when they are replaced with a good parent and child it makes life much easier!

[MizzCheryl]

Totally correct on all counts. First we are not raising their children THEY are! We offer a safe and enjoyable environment for their children while they are at work. You will never like all of the parents nor all the children, but you have to cast that aside because it is still a service we provide.

I am not there to be their friends, and over the years I have seen many horrible parents that should not have had kids. Yes I will judge any bad behavior I see. And its really senseless to get mad at the person reporting the behavior,. Overall my job is to make sure their child enjoys coming to daycare.

Absolutely I have told my friends ect. some pretty funny stories about my parents over the years. One said I should write a book, most realize this culture is part of the entitlement culture, and the kids take a big hit. As providers we see more bad parents, and amazing things. Yes feedback is important! However, on the internet you have to be careful; and best to keep it vague imo. I certainly would not have the name of my daycare or anything that could link me.

If you had a job anywhere you don't always like your co-workers or boss, but you put on a good face and do the job. The paycheck is just as valuable, BUT if a parent is disrespecting me I am my own boss and they will be terminated pretty quick.

In almost every case where a parent bad talked me it was because they were a bad parent themselves, and it was over money or behaviour problems with them or their child. Why waste oxygen getting mad, sad whatever....its best to terminate immediately and get the problem out. They are easily replaceable, and when they are replaced with a good parent and child it makes life much easier!

So true, I am not helping to raise anyones child. I provide safe and loving "Child Care" while parents are working. They are responsible for raising their own children.