O...M...G....How Much Do You Hold Your Newborns?!

[Crystal]

SAHM, I really think that crying like you describe is NOT "normal" colic and a cause needs investigated. I don't believe that babies cry just to cry--they scream like that because something is wrong and often that something is dietary. Really, really, it is. The age that these "colicky" babies tend to "outgrow" the colic probably coincides with the age that the infant's digestive system matures to the point of being able to tolerate the substance in question.

Other causes for colic might include sensory issues or other "hidden" things.

What does make this baby happy? Tummy pressure, swaddling, swinging, etc? Is he super spitty?

I want to help you--and that baby--I really do!

This is very possible. I would do some investigating. Is baby breast or formula fed? If it's BM it could be related to mom's diet. if it's formula he could be lactose intolerant.

It could also just be his temperament. Some babies just cry more than others.

Good luck....I hope it passes soon.

[Zoe]

Well I feel somewhat responsible for this thread becoming an argument. I was the first one that said something about crying it out, NOT wdmmom. And I misread the thread about this child being a newborn. I was thinking it was an older child. I apologize if I started anything.

FTR, I wouldn't let a newborn CIO. They need to be held. I was referring to an older baby who can't self-sooth.

[Crystal]

Well I feel somewhat responsible for this thread becoming an argument. I was the first one that said something about crying it out, NOT wdmmom. And I misread the thread about this child being a newborn. I was thinking it was an older child. I apologize if I started anything.

FTR, I wouldn't let a newborn CIO. They need to be held. I was referring to an older baby who can't self-sooth.

I think it was all a big misunderstanding.....as usual.

[SilverSabre25]

The article is a good one and for the most part I agree.

But there are times when you have done all you can. Baby is fed, diapered, clean, healthy, cuddled...he's just screaming....non-stop. There are times when you need to put the baby in the crib and walk away and breathe.

I am convinced we would have less shaken baby syndrome in this country if parents were not led to believe that if you put baby down for a split second you're a bad parent. Or that crying means you're doing something wrong.

As another poster said, we are told during training about shaken baby syndrome that it is OK to leave baby for a while and walk away.

No, ypu're absolutely right, that sometimes there's nothing you can do...but if that happens frequently I do believe that an underlying cause MUST exist. Usually, food-related. Someday, I'm going to have the chance to conduct some sort of experiment/study and prove this to be true...that in many cases of "colic", there is a damn good REASON why the child is crying.

[Zoe]

I think it was all a big misunderstanding.....as usual.

I can imagine that it is VERY difficult to fully comprehend what we're reading when we have 6-12 kids in our house.

[mismatchedsocks]

I think it was all a big misunderstanding.....as usual.

Is it really that time? That is so odd, But hope the original poster doesnt feel threatened, it really is ok to hear all sides, about everything, even if no one agrees.

[SilverSabre25]

This is very possible. I would do some investigating. Is baby breast or formula fed? If it's BM it could be related to mom's diet. if it's formula he could be lactose intolerant.

It could also just be his temperament. Some babies just cry more than others.

Good luck....I hope it passes soon.

Actually, true lactose intolerance is very rare--it's usually a dairy sensitivity/allergy. http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns...tolerance.html

[Crystal]

Actually, true lactose intolerance is very rare--it's usually a dairy sensitivity/allergy. http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns...tolerance.html

Interesting. Thanks for sharing

[SilverSabre25]

Interesting. Thanks for sharing

You're welcome! I didn't know this either until a couple weeks ago...and this despite having a dairy sensitive babe of my own and doing all this reading myself about six months ago!

[CheekyChick]

As a parent I'd be livid if a daycare worker let my child cry it out without my permission. Crying it out has long term consequences.

I completely agree. We over-pamper here, but I figure they are only babies once and they deserve the rocking and cuddling until they fall asleep.

[frgsonmysox]

I don't mean this with any disrespect because we are all free to raise our children as we see fit, but attached parenting and child care does not work very well together. Both concepts seem to be from completely different starting points....kwim?

I think AP is great but NOT for kids who have to be in group care. It just is not feasible. AP is awesome for mom's who are sahm's in my opinion.

FWIW~ I am NOT a fan of CIO either. I think parents have a reponsibility to their child, themselves and the provider to set routines and practices that are applicable in home AND child care. If they do things only one way (which doesn't always work in a childcare setting) then it isn't fair to the child or the provider.

I don't think they have to be mutually exclusive. If I can be an AP parent to 5 kids I think I can add a few daycare kids into the mix and still stay true to my philosophies. I already babysit for my friends kids and when that happens I can have 10 or so kids in my care, all of which I care for with an AP attitude.

I think six months is the best time for them to start learning to get to sleep! Over holiday weekend I was with a six month old that the entire time I was there was not put down once!!!! We were at the house for 4 or 5 hours and the baby was put in a bouncy set and immediately started crying and was picked up right away. The baby only slept 10 min for the entire time we were there. My teenager was handed the baby and asked to walk the baby around because parents, grandparents, and everyone else was tired of walking the child.

Even my husband notice that the child wasn't put down when we were there. A child that age should be able to play, self soothe, and have some quiet time especially during the length of time.

None of my kids slept through the night until 2. None of them have had to CIO and I don't believe that CIO is necessary for kids to learn to self soothe. They will do so in their own time. Thats my personal belief.

If you want to let your own kids CIO, thats your prerogative. I disagree with it, but you have to do what you need to do. I do not think it should happen in a daycare setting though.

[Blackcat31]

Actually, true lactose intolerance is very rare--it's usually a dairy sensitivity/allergy. http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns...tolerance.html

This is sooo true! The crying baby thread I posted about a few weeks back is proof of this...mom cut out ALL dairy from her diet and the result is that I have one happy baby now! Yah!!

Well, and I learned he really doesn't like lying down. If he is in the jumper or anything that keeps him up right like the Bumbo chair, he is happy as can be. For sleeping, he gets swaddled and now sleeps a full two hours.

[SilverSabre25]

This is sooo true! The crying baby thread I posted about a few weeks back is proof of this...mom cut out ALL dairy from her diet and the result is that I have one happy baby now! Yah!!

Well, and I learned he really doesn't like lying down. If he is in the jumper or anything that keeps him up right like the Bumbo chair, he is happy as can be. For sleeping, he gets swaddled and now sleeps a full two hours.

YAY!!!! I'm so glad!!! That's awesome. That was my experience with my DS and he went from heading down the colic road to being the happiest little dude I've ever known.

So glad that that mom was willing to cut the dairy! It's hard (trust me, I know!) but kudos to her!!!

[BigMama]

Just a bunch of mumbo jumbo if you ask me.

This makes me sad. Decades of research has proven that babies learn through their senses and movement: through touch, through hearing soothing voices and sounds, through touch, through being free to move their bodies, and did I mention, through touch. It is proven that young infants cannot be spoiled. They must have the closeness and touch not only to learn and grow but to SURVIVE. Responsive caregiving leads to less fussy babies in the long run. Infants must bond with their caregivers and trust that their needs will be met.
While it is perfectly acceptable for child care providers to have differing opinions, styles, and practices, it is NOT acceptable to ignore years of knowledge regarding brain development, child development, and developmentally appropriate practice. If we don't learn about about children and accept that there are standards of care that must be met, then who are we to these children and their families?

[frgsonmysox]

This makes me sad. Decades of research has proven that babies learn through their senses and movement: through touch, through hearing soothing voices and sounds, through touch, through being free to move their bodies, and did I mention, through touch. It is proven that young infants cannot be spoiled. They must have the closeness and touch not only to learn and grow but to SURVIVE. Responsive caregiving leads to less fussy babies in the long run. Infants must bond with their caregivers and trust that their needs will be met.
While it is perfectly acceptable for child care providers to have differing opinions, styles, and practices, it is NOT acceptable to ignore years of knowledge regarding brain development, child development, and developmentally appropriate practice. If we don't learn about about children and accept that there are standards of care that must be met, then who are we to these children and their families?

I totally agree!