Terminate For Asking Too Many Questions

[marniewon]

To the unregistered poster...yes, we are employed by you.

I respectfully disagree with you. I am ONLY employed by my daycare families in the way that they have decided to use my service. They don't set the rules, they don't pay my benefits or SS tax or any other tax. They are not my employers. If they were my employers, I would demand a raise (to at least minimum wage) and benefits, and I wouldn't have to worry about taxes, they would.

To the OP - I'm in agreement with the other pp's who asked what the difference is between what you did to your first daycare (left because of ONE snow day) and what your second daycare did to you (termed for a seeming lack of trust)? Trust is paramount in this business. If you didn't trust your new daycare, you had no business taking the child there. Sensing that you didn't trust them, and possibly being a difficult parent, as a daycare provider, I would have termed you also. As for the bruises - if you had any doubt at all about them, you should have taken child to the doctor to get it checked out. If you didn't, you obviously didn't honestly think that anything wrong was going on in that daycare. And if you did honestly think there was something wrong there, you should have pulled that child long before now.

You pulled the child from a daycare you "liked" because they closed for one day (most providers encourage a backup provider in case of emergency or illness) and yet you left the child in a daycare that you didn't trust for weeks (months?). What is your motivator here? If it was all about the child, you would have left child in the first daycare. Missing one day is not a reason to leave. Providers get sick, we are only human. If she had just been sick, and that's why she closed, would you still have pulled child?

And after this long post, I wonder if you just came on here to slam this daycare because they pissed you off. I see you haven't come back to respond or answer any questions.

[jen]

I respectfully disagree with you. I am ONLY employed by my daycare families in the way that they have decided to use my service. They don't set the rules, they don't pay my benefits or SS tax or any other tax. They are not my employers. If they were my employers, I would demand a raise (to at least minimum wage) and benefits, and I wouldn't have to worry about taxes, they would.

.

Thank you!! I am no more anyones employee than Target is my employee because I chose to shop there!

Does Target listen to the suggestions of its customers? Perhaps, but that doesn't mean that the customers are the boss or that (in pretty much most cases) that Target is actually going to implement those suggestions unless they benefit Target.

If you don't like the hours, the prices, or the store policies, don't shop there. Same goes with daycare...

[momma2girls]

yes I agree with missnikki. Its important to remember that providers have a very long day with a demanding job. We are just human and we love a cheerful parent at the end of the day versus one that may seem to come in and immediately look for something to comment/complain on. There is a lot to be said about how parents approach their provider. I know I have been working with several families where I feel that push to go above and beyond for them. These are the parents that follow the rules, are respectful, address things in an appropriate way, are upbeat and thankful and appreciate what I do for their child on a daily basis. Everyone likes people like that.

I agree with this one, and the previous post on here. I was once questioned everyday from a mom. It was not near what this Grandma did, especially on the marks(if anything happens to my daycare children during the day, I tell them immediately at pick up) Thank God over the past 10 yrs. nothing has happened to awfully bad at all!! She would ask me- Now where did little Johhny sleep today for his naps. I tell her the same thing everyday, in the pack and play in my bedroom. She wanted him to sleep in a swing or bouncer right beside me all day long. I repeatingly told her, I couldn't have him sleep out here, with myself and the daycare children all day. He would never get any sleep!! Then it was-" oh where is Susie today? Why isn't she here? I hear(the friend of hers, that was also here) Tommy tried to crawl, so where is Tommy? Everyday at pick up and drop off was like this, it got very old!!!
I would tell her, well she is on vac. she is sick, she was laid down early, tired. Etc. etc.... Finally after this all getting very old, I wrote a note, and told her enough with all the questions, 3/4 of it is confidential anyway!! Then it was going so great, no questions, I would just tell her how the day of her son went. Then about 2 weeks, she gave notice~~~~ I did really love her little boy, and got very attached to him--- There comes a time, I think in all of daycare world, we have to weed out these type!!!

[momma2girls]

Unfortunately, in regard to your leaving because of them being closed during a snow storm, that's very common amongst providers in snow areas. At least my provider only closes if the schools are closed. You have a legit complaint about the closing if your contract didn't address it. There doesn't have to be a state of emergency to be closed, unless it otherwise stated that in your contract. Closings are a big thing - especially if you get disciplined at work if you can't come in. In your case, I would highly recommend getting a backup babysitter, like your mom or someone else like a neighbor whose a stay at home mom. I have backup just in case.

I'm sorry that your grandson was terminated. I strongly feel you were unjustly terminated. You had every right to question and complain about the wrong diapers - you control the decisions for your child, not the daycare. You are the customer. That's something that providers need to remember. If they are down playing something like that and it happened several times, I would never trust that they are providing adequate care to the child - I have a feeling that the reason they're getting the diaper wrong is because they don't know who the child is because of floater teachers/substitutes so they're using whatever they want. And every good daycare would have done a thorough search of the child to determine why the child kept falling down rather than berating you for it. The child injured himself at that daycare - you should bring the child to the doctor to be sure a bone isn't broken, etc. At around a year old, it's pretty common to fall down. And sorry, but it's unacceptable that the daycare kept him in an exersaucer even after you complained about it at pickup. How hard would it have been to hold him during pickup or have another child in there. He was way too old for an exersaucer - even the instructions read that you shouldn't use it once the child can stand up on their own and walk - for safety reasons.

We were terminated for similar reasons. Because of the way our contract and parent handbook was worded, there was nothing we could do about it per state licensing. I suggest that you check your contract and parent handbook carefully to see if they violated anything and then report them to licensing if they were required to have a conference with you before terminating you per your contract or parent handbook - this will be public record on them. Also, do not be ashamed of spreading the word - just be sure to have that note with you everywhere you go and show people - that way the daycare won't try to sue you for libel or slander because you are stating the facts. I would also post reviews on daycare review sites typing in exactly what the note read and the questions you had for the daycare. Definately spread the word - it is bad business to terminate any customer for asking questions and without a conference. If this is a chain, call their regional manager or president and file a complaint.

You have every right to question anything and everything they do - any daycare that terminates for your asking questions shouldn't be in business to begin with. As long as you were being respectful, not yelling or screaming at them, you should be able to ask anything you want as many times you want without being termed for it. You are better off without that daycare. I am a firm believer that there should be licensing regulations for wrongful termination to better protect families.

THese are all valid questions to definately ask the daycare provider! Now if you are coming in everyday with something new,etc. that is a whole different story. I have been there, and it ****ed as a daycare provider, you wondered what the heck she was going to ask, or say everyday. It ****ed!! You dreaded pick up and drop off everyday. When you feel this way about a family, time to do something about it!!

[jen]

THese are all valid questions to definately ask the daycare provider!

Perhaps...but here is the real life deal...

If you have a question, by all means ask. But, please remember, if the tone of your "question" is rude or annoying, there is a very high liklihood you will be terminated. Perhaps at your job there are customers you don't wish to deal with because they are a PITA...well, we feel that way too...and we are in the unique position to be able to do something about it.

So, just as you want to hear the occassional great thing about your child, we want to hear the occassional great thing about the awesome care we give your child.

I am not and never will be your employee, so please check the power trip at the door. If you treat me with respect, I will no doubt treat you with the same courtesy.

[momma2girls]

Perhaps...but here is the real life deal...

If you have a question, by all means ask. But, please remember, if the tone of your "question" is rude or annoying, there is a very high liklihood you will be terminated. Perhaps at your job there are customers you don't wish to deal with because they are a PITA...well, we feel that way too...and we are in the unique position to be able to do something about it.

So, just as you want to hear the occassional great thing about your child, we want to hear the occassional great thing about the awesome care we give your child.

I am not and never will be your employee, so please check the power trip at the door. If you treat me with respect, I will no doubt treat you with the same courtesy.

I totally agree with you in every way!!!! I love the power trip at the door. I agree, I have been treated very badly from families that think I am their employers!! I had one Dad talk badly to myself and my daughter, I took it for so long, til finally I said that is enough, you are in my private home, and I will be damned if you are going to talk to me, in my house like that ever again!!!

[jen2651]

Maybe I should have not used the employer/employee relationship. And to the poster that compared us to Target being our employee because we shop there...

Perhaps that was incorrect names, BUT, you can bet your bottom dollar if I went to a restaurant and my waitress acted as though she was interviewing me and I could take it or leave it, that would be the LAST time I would be there. SAme with my mechanic, my bank, my Target, my dentist etc. Yes, we are our own bosses, but we still have to appreciate the business they are providing us at our homes. I think everyone would agree with me if they were treated poorly at a business.

I know we will probably never all agree on this...but, I truly believe providers deserve a baseline of respect to start with (not saying they won't ruin that immediately though!)

[Meeko]

This is an older thread...but I wanted to comment on the fact that the child went home in a diaper that was a different brand.

This is common at my day care. And the parents love it!

WHY? Because it means I have received yet another mound of donated diapers and am using them up instead of using the parents supply and therefore saving them money!

My whole neighborhood, church members, family and friends all know that if their child outgrows a size, gets potty trained etc.....then I am happy to take donations. I keep a certain amount for emergencies...but I don't need bags and bags of them. When my donated pile is used up, I go back to using the parent supply. I have shelves in the kids changing area and every child has their own labelled shelf.

If a child is allergic to a certain kind of diaper...then their parent had better have been intelligent enough to put that down in their paperwork where it actually asks if their child has any allergies!

Maybe the provider in question was just being lazy with the diapers......but there are two sides to every story.

[Unregistered]

great that you get donations

This is an older thread...but I wanted to comment on the fact that the child went home in a diaper that was a different brand.

This is common at my day care. And the parents love it!

WHY? Because it means I have received yet another mound of donated diapers and am using them up instead of using the parents supply and therefore saving them money!

My whole neighborhood, church members, family and friends all know that if their child outgrows a size, gets potty trained etc.....then I am happy to take donations. I keep a certain amount for emergencies...but I don't need bags and bags of them. When my donated pile is used up, I go back to using the parent supply. I have shelves in the kids changing area and every child has their own labelled shelf.

If a child is allergic to a certain kind of diaper...then their parent had better have been intelligent enough to put that down in their paperwork where it actually asks if their child has any allergies!

Maybe the provider in question was just being lazy with the diapers......but there are two sides to every story.

I think it's great that you get donations and pass the donations along to your families. Most providers don't - they actually save them to use when families forget to bring in diapers. But in the OP and follow ups, it seems established that they weren't donated diapers in the OP. In your example of using donated diapers - what if a family only ever used a certain brand and didn't know about the allergy until you put a different brand of diaper on the child? After all, that is how families find out about diaper allergies to begin with - by using a different diaper. I hope that you communicate your donated diaper policy to families so they know up front.

[Meeko]

I think it's great that you get donations and pass the donations along to your families. Most providers don't - they actually save them to use when families forget to bring in diapers. But in the OP and follow ups, it seems established that they weren't donated diapers in the OP. In your example of using donated diapers - what if a family only ever used a certain brand and didn't know about the allergy until you put a different brand of diaper on the child? After all, that is how families find out about diaper allergies to begin with - by using a different diaper. I hope that you communicate your donated diaper policy to families so they know up front.

Oh they all know...and they all love it when I tell them they don't need to bring any for a while!

I do keep some on hand too. My handbook explains that any diapers "borrowed from my emergency stash are to be "paid back" when they bring diapers. No freebies unless I say so!

Also..in 25 years of day care I haven't come across a child allergic to diapers yet...so so far so good! Parents are to tell me if something like that happens...or I would notice it myself and stop using that brand.