Would This Upset You?

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  • MommyMuffin
    Daycare.com Member
    • Jun 2010
    • 860

    #31
    Originally posted by Crystal
    yep....I see it here all the time. The internet is open to the wolrd. If you do not want someone to "hear" what you are saying, it's best not to put it out there. I'm surprised that some of the people here who are saying get out of there now are many of the same people who talk about their DCK and parents here regularly.
    Lots of providers use the site to explain about situations or frustrations about their day and/or children in order to learn tips and techniques to better their work.
    FB is not full of other daycare providers to run ideas and problems off of. But providers are "venting" on a daycare website in order to learn more or see if others have similar issues.

    Not everyone has good intentions I agree with you, but its no fun to make "rolleyes" and attack previous posters even if not using their names. JMHO

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    • Crystal
      Advanced Daycare.com Member
      • Dec 2009
      • 4002

      #32
      Originally posted by MommyMuffin
      Lots of providers use the site to explain about situations or frustrations about their day and/or children in order to learn tips and techniques to better their work.
      FB is not full of other daycare providers to run ideas and problems off of. But providers are "venting" on a daycare website in order to learn more or see if others have similar issues.

      Not everyone has good intentions I agree with you, but its no fun to make "rolleyes" and attack previous posters even if not using their names. JMHO
      You're right, this is different than FB, BUT, it is just as public, actually even moreso. At least on FB it can be set to private. Here it is open for EVERONE in the WORLD to read, and there have been numerous instances of providers being "caught" talking negatively about parents and children HERE. So, doing it HERE is even WORSE than FB. And it happens so much HERE that I rarely visit/post here anymore because of the lack of professionalism and the disgusting things many providers HERE have to say about children and families.

      Comment

      • Crystal
        Advanced Daycare.com Member
        • Dec 2009
        • 4002

        #33
        I need to add to Shane that yes, your provider was wrong to express her feelings on FB. But, at least you know and were able to make a change that you felt was needed.

        Comment

        • Aya477
          Daycare.com Member
          • Apr 2010
          • 40

          #34
          Originally posted by Crystal
          You're right, this is different than FB, BUT, it is just as public, actually even moreso. At least on FB it can be set to private. Here it is open for EVERONE in the WORLD to read, and there have been numerous instances of providers being "caught" talking negatively about parents and children HERE. So, doing it HERE is even WORSE than FB. And it happens so much HERE that I rarely visit/post here anymore because of the lack of professionalism and the disgusting things many providers HERE have to say about children and families.
          Crystal--I agree with you. I too read alot of the negative remarks made about parents and children on this very forum. Whether the provider is intending to vent, seek guidance, or talk of a particular situation the negative remarks do lead a reader to question "is this provider burned out? Does this provider have the self control to separate her frustration when dealing with the child(ren)?". It's human nature to try to form an opinion about personalities or people based off what is written by someone who is nothing more than a screen name on the internet. And when certain screen names are routinely posting vents or situations that make you want to say "why in the world would you do that?" sure--it is easy to conclude that you wouldn't be comfortable placing your own child in that person's care.

          As a side note--my family, friends and husband do not understand what I do at work. I still vent to them because they don't have to understand what I do 8-5 M-F to make me feel better or give me guidance on how to handle people and situations. Childcare shouldn't be any different.

          Comment

          • dEHmom
            Advanced Daycare.com Member
            • Dec 2010
            • 2355

            #35
            I just want to say a few things....

            this is the world wide web, and people need to realize, that even though we do not use our actual names, they can possibly be traced back to you if you have/do provide certain information....

            Such as the whole websites we posted, linking us to our names, email address, addresses, and phone numbers.

            But what we do on here is not the same as what we do on facebook. Everyone on facebook is on there as a friend, and based on your privacy settings on facebook, everyone, somepeople, or no one will be able to read or say anything.

            The situation the op posted was that a friend of theirs saw something on facebook, and informed them, being they didn't actually see it themselves. So it could have been misinterpreted easily.

            I don't think it was a matter of the facebook that caused concern over pulling the child so much as the comment about the child being physically punished/disciplined. That is why we all stepped in saying child should be removed.


            On another note....

            This website is a great resource for EVERYONE, parents and caregivers alike. Sometimes maybe we post a situation and give too much detail, or we come off in the wrong context, maybe seems like we are on the verge of a mental breakdown, but really we are just at our wits end with the situation itself and need someone to help us out.

            My dh has actually told me "i don't care" or "i don't know what to say" or "stop complaining" etc. I don't have a support net at home. I don't have family members who would understand or be able to offer advice I could actually use.

            This website is the only place I can go for support, vents, information, advice, etc. So although it is touch and go, in terms of keeping the information to a minimum so as not to expose our true identity but enough information to get the proper guidance, it's not right that we are being told that we are all wrong for posting anything.

            I would never post a status on facebook. I feel that is inappropriate in every way about a daycare client or their child. But I would come here and post for whatever reason.

            Comment

            • Meeko
              Advanced Daycare.com Member
              • Mar 2011
              • 4351

              #36
              Originally posted by Shane
              So I found out the other day that our child care provider posted something on facebook regarding how fussy are 6 month old was all morning along the lines of "nothing better than dealing with a fussy 6 month old all day. We are friends with our provider, but do not have facebook, but several of our shared friends do. Should I be upset this? We are starting to get concerned because there are many days where she just seems to be frustrated when we pick up our kids and she has already said she can't do it next year (she said she had other reasons). I'm thinking it may be time to just change, but I'm concerned with how she will react as I believe they need the money.

              I should note that I'm not concerned at the time for my kids safety, but just worried that they are being watched by somebody that is miserable half the time.
              If she didn't mention you or your child's name in her Facebook moan, then there is nothing you can do. She was merely having a bad day and had a perfect right to vent to her friends.

              I personally would not do it because if you have friends that are all interconnected somehow, there is a chance you could offend someone. But there's really nothing you can do. Her life and she has a right to moan about it.

              Comment

              • EightIsEnuff
                New Daycare.con Member
                • Mar 2011
                • 3

                #37
                I don't agree with what she did, but please remember that she doesn't have a co-worker, cubicle mate, or water cooler friends to vent to. Daycare providers have adult-free days which can be good AND bad. Things can build up inside (maybe another family is consistently picking up late, or another family is sending their sick child...etc.) If she seems frustrated when you pick up, just ask her - "everything go ok with little Johnny today?" And let her know that if she is ever frustrated to a point that she's ready to tear her hair out (because YES - that happens) that she can call you and you'll try to get out of work a little early to pick up your little one.

                Obviously I'm a daycare provider, but my kids were also in daycare for a few years so I understand both sides. Good luck!

                Comment

                • Cat Herder
                  Advanced Daycare.com Member
                  • Dec 2010
                  • 13744

                  #38
                  Eh, the ComplaintBook post had nothing to do with my opinion. It was just irrelevant white noise, IMHO.

                  I heard she was under high stress, needed the income and wanted to close her daycare.

                  Someone who is only caring for kids because she needs the income and seems to resent the children over an extended period of time (not a bad day here and there) is a ticking time bomb, IMHO.

                  I have 3 other trades I can go into...I prefer this one, YKWIM?

                  Kids keep me from believing the world needs to end some days....::::::

                  An all adult world is sad, unimaginative and angry...and I don't like it...

                  All kidding aside, those are big "Red Flag" warning signs to me....
                  - Unless otherwise stated, all my posts are personal opinion and worth what you paid for them.

                  Comment

                  • Maddy'sMommy
                    Daycare.com Member
                    • Mar 2011
                    • 158

                    #39
                    All too often in my old job people who worked for me, or for other managers in the building would add me to facebook, and then I would see them complaining about work, the company, or their boss. Some would even post that they were calling in sick to go party, or go shopping. It's not a good idea, no matter which field you work in.

                    It's hard to know what to do when you come across something like that. There are so many factors to think about. Daycare is difficult, because it is a business, and you do have a business relationship with people, but they are dealing with the most precious thing in the world to you, so you can't help but let emotion guide you.

                    I realize there is no advice in there anywhere. . But food for thought.

                    Comment

                    • krystamichelle
                      Daycare.com Member
                      • Mar 2011
                      • 56

                      #40
                      I would never post anything about my DCK on FB. I think it's unprofessional and unnecessary. The parents understand that sometimes the kids aren't angels, and if I have had any issues, I will let the parent know how the day went. In fact, she asks, and I do it anyway. I think it's a better situation if you can do it openly. If I have to vent because it wasn't enough to just tell the parents, I talk to my fiance, in the privacy of our home. I know that people can choose who they tell things to on FB, but those people have friends who see their comments, and so on. It could eventually get back to the parents of the children and cause some tension or hurt feelings.

                      That said, though I am new to daycare.com, I have already asked for advice as to how to handle certain situations. It's not that I want to hide anything from the parents, but that I want to know the best way to handle certain situations that involve communicating with the parents.

                      As far as pulling the child out for that, I would probably not do that as a parent. For the spanking, I definitely would. That's pretty disturbing.
                      sigpicA characteristic of the normal child is he doesn't act that way very often. ~Author Unknown

                      Comment

                      • squareone
                        Advanced Daycare.com Member
                        • Feb 2011
                        • 302

                        #41
                        [quote=krystamichelle;93922]
                        That said, though I am new to daycare.com, I have already asked for advice as to how to handle certain situations. It's not that I want to hide anything from the parents, but that I want to know the best way to handle certain situations that involve communicating with the parents.
                        [quote]

                        welcome krystamichelle!

                        Comment

                        • Christian Mother
                          Advanced Daycare.com Member
                          • Feb 2011
                          • 875

                          #42
                          ok...I'm guilty....I can't resist posting up "good" comments and pictures of my dck's and them doing projects or cute little sayings...specially if they ate some veggies they normally won't touch. I am sooo proud of my kido's and love them to pieces...I just can't stand it I want the whole world to know...It might not be to profession...thank goodness the parents are ok...but I agree...there is nothing negative ever posted on fb. It's not necessary. Everyone has a bad day...even kids and providers. I tell my parents that too..if little johnny had a bad day parents know about it and i go into length as to what happened and how I handled it. Most of the time the parents have noticed some kind of behavior of same sort at home and we keep tabs on it. We work through it. I am surprised that this provider and OP wasn't able to communicate a little better. I am an open book. I don't sugar coat anything. I would question her about the spanking. Was there anytime in changing your child's diaper that you saw marks on the bottom? I can't believe this is just being brought up now. If I ever saw a provider spank a child that parent would know right away...didn't matter friend or neighbor or what ever..not good!!

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