My Babysitter Termed Me Because I Refused To Pay Her To Get Ready For A Friday Night

[daycare]

7:30-4:30 = 9 hours x 5 days a week = 45 hours a week. Divide that $150.00 by 45 hours and you have $3.33 per hour. And you think it should be CHEAPER?

Do YOU work 9 hours straight without a break? I don't think so! She's probably working more than 12 hours a day as there is still cleaning and planning to do after the children go home. Putting on a bit of make up and/or painting her nails for a few moments while she sits back and takes a breather is what makes her happy.

Slam the door? You're lucky she didn't spit in your face. Best wishes with finding a new care giver. Make sure you find an ugly one next time.

(Sorry, I have PMS and your post got under my skin a bit. Jealous much?)

I just feel off my stool................sorry I should not laugh at this.

Ok so to the one who posted.

In an in home daycare it is very common that a provider usually works alone from the time she/he is open to close. Which is why providers often work off of set hours, such as yours. Unlike a center that has several employees to help out with children and give breaks, at a home daycare there is no one to do this.

Your rate that you are paying sounds very normal and fair, if you were to sit down and figure it out it comes out to about $3. and some change. Now this is before paying taxes on it, over head for food, supplies, damages to the home and etc. Now after all that your provider is making about $1. and some change for each child in her care per hour. Good care is hard to come by and you should really never put a price on it... After all, MOST of the time you get what you pay for.
It really sounds like a center might be what you are comparing your provider to, as all of the things she is doing sound very normal to a day in the life of a provider, but would never go on at a center.

I know that most of us providers take advantage of getting any form of a break in the 12 hour plus days that we provide care. Some of us are lucky to have a break at all. Sounds like your provider is doing something right because she is able to get all of the kids to sleep as a group for a set period of time.

As for her putting on her makeup and what not, this is also normal. We as providers don't sit there and stare at the children as they sleep. What we do is we tuck them in, make them feel safe, turn off the lights and wish them sweet dreams. Then we go about having some time out of our 12 hour plus days for ourselves. Imagine working 12 hour days and having NO time to even pee. Well this is what naps are for...No, not to just go pee, but to spend a little time rejuvenating ourselves, eating lunch, playing on the internet, painting our toe nails and whatever makes us feel good. , so when the day care kids wake, we are able to keep up and be in the best of moods. They got to rest, we need our rest too. Of course during this time, we often wash dishes, clean up day care kids messes and tons of other necessary things to assure that the day care operations are running smoothly. About every 15 minutes or so, we check on the kids. We are always within ear shot of them, but never on top of them watching them sleep.

I think it would be in your best interest to go check out a center. It sounds like you just are not comfortable with a home daycare setting.

As for the other things that happened, I think that even you could agree that you should have handled it differently. I think that it was in the providers best interest to term care for your family. Sorry, I would not offer my services if someone treated me s you treated your provider. I am sure you would not want to work with someone like that either....
I hope that you and your child are able to find a place that better suits what you are looking for.
Good luck

[daycare]

I just love you daycare!!!! Well if this is your entertainment we better make it good for you.

I've just recently discovered hummus-yummy, yummy, yummy.

darn.... I got pulled away!! But it's all right here in balck and white so I get to read away...

Yeah, I have no life..... so sad but true

[Unregistered]

I have to respond

I have to. The OP's post was wrong on so many levels that I just have to respond.

First off, where does the OP get off expecting the "babysitter" to look professional at drop off while not treating her like a professional?

Is OP the only person who has to spend their hard earned money to pay for daycare service? Nope. OP, if you are reading this now (but you're probably a troll, so you'll probably not come back), please read this very carefully and know that it's coming from the heart and I sincerely mean it. You're not entitled to anything more than what you pay for no matter how hard you work to earn your money. You aren't special. You're money isn't any more valuable than any other client's money. Do you think that you work just so much harder than anyone else and that you should be given a break in daycare cost? Well guess what? You don't. If you don't like the price, then just go find a cheaper place. How is that your "babysitter"'s problem? If you don't like the price, find somewhere else to go.

I want you to know that the provider let you off easy by only shutting your foot in the door. You got lucky. You had no right to try to stop her from shutting the door in the first place. You put your foot in the door, she didn't make you do it. What happened is your fault, not hers. If you're going to pull a bonehead move like that, then be prepared for things like that to happen. If you're going to be dumb, you gotta be tough. You don't get to complain about how bad your foot hurts and how she was in the wrong. She wanted to end the conversation and you decided that since you weren't done with her, that she didn't get to end the conversation. Are you just so used to getting your way by being completely aggressive and bossy that when you don't get what you want, you try to force people to give you what you want? She didn't assault you. You assaulted her! It is HER house, not yours. You are NOT her boss, no matter how much you believe that you should be because of how much you have to pay for services.

Have you ever heard of contracted hours? That means that you only have your child there during the time that you are working. She may be open from 6-6 but that doesn't mean that she wants kids there from open to close. Besides, if you leave your child in daycare from open to close everyday when you aren't working, then you should be taking a long hard look in the mirror and get yourself together before you criticize your "babysitter" for wanting to have a life outside of her job. Do you want to leave your kid there from 6am-6pm? Is that how you want it? If that's the case, then I have to ask: What kind of relationship do you think that you'll have with your child? You'll be a stranger and the sad thing is that you'll choose it and then get mad if your child prefers the provider to you. You've already established in your original post what your work hours are so if you are complaining about not being able to leave your kid there until close, then you've already made it perfectly clear that spending time with your child isn't your top priority. I'd say that I hope that you'll realize how precious that time is, but I don't think you do now and probably never will. You just want to get your money's worth. Your post makes you seem like a disgrace as a parent and as a person in general. That pretty much sums it up. You're a disgrace.

You'd better learn how to deal with people in a more civil manner. You'll stick your foot in the wrong person's door one day and you may find yourself with more than a sore foot. She had every right to defend herself against you and she could have decided to give you a beat down because of your extremely aggressive behavior but she didn't. I'll bet it was because she's the professional one.

You are everything that is wrong with humanity, OP. You are the lowest common denominator. I may seem pretty mean based on this post, but this post comes from a good place. It comes from a place of having the backs of the providers who are faced with the kind on garbage that you pulled and just firing back. I'm not going to apologize for my rudeness to you, OP. You deserve every rude remark that I made and then some.

You need to grow up and realize that you don't always get what you want.

[Unregistered]

Some people...

OP, I'm going to make this short and sweet. I wrote a response and it disappeared so I'm going to paraphrase.

* You are admitting that you value your money more than you value more time with your child. Nice. That's real nice.

* You got lucky that all that you got when you tried to stop the provider from shutting the door was a sore foot. She had every right to get you out of her house and you had no right to try to stop her. Be glad that you had a provider who was able to keep her cool when you were too busy acting like a psycho. I know that if a daycare parent pulled a stunt like that at my house, I would really be tempted to ask you if you'd like to settle it outside, but you know what? I wouldn't do that because that's not how I roll. I'd want to do it but I wouldn't because I know how to be a professional.

* What concern is it of yours if a provider chooses to wear make-up or not? You had better come up with some legit concerns before you come over here posting your nonsense.

* Most importantly, I want you to know that I am speaking from the heart when I say these things. I'm being totally sincere and honest when I say this. You are a sad excuse for a human being. You don't seem to have any regard for anyone other than yourself. You're pathetic and sad. You just seem like a bully who still doesn't get it that one day someone will put you in your place. You are the lowest common denominator.

[Meyou]

The rare time I go out on a work night I always get ready at naptime other than getting dressed. I've never thought anything of it and the parents usually give me an "Ooooo! Where are you going all dolled up? Don't get in too much trouble!"

If I want to straighten my hair after I do the dishes, prepare afternoon snack, run a load of laundry, fold another load, do my paperwork and tidy the house then that's none of anyone's business.

I also paint my toenails regularly at work. Of course I have a line of little girls and sometimes boys waiting for their turn but I don't mind. I'm also prepared to run and wreck them if I need to and then start over. Heck, I redo them have the time because I just forget their wet! ::

[SimpleMom]

I think I am going to see what others have to say to this post, as I am awaiting some interesting responses........

I'm with you here!

[MyAngels]

7:30-4:30 = 9 hours x 5 days a week = 45 hours a week. Divide that $150.00 by 45 hours and you have $3.33 per hour. And you think it should be CHEAPER?

Do YOU work 9 hours straight without a break? I don't think so! She's probably working more than 12 hours a day as there is still cleaning and planning to do after the children go home. Putting on a bit of make up and/or painting her nails for a few moments while she sits back and takes a breather is what makes her happy.

Slam the door? You're lucky she didn't spit in your face. Best wishes with finding a new care giver. Make sure you find an ugly one next time.(Sorry, I have PMS and your post got under my skin a bit. Jealous much?)

:::::::::: - Thanks for starting my Friday off with a laugh!

To the OP...

On second thought - nope - not gonna go there ::!

[Unregistered]

I can see both sides of the story here

To the OP:
I can understand where you are coming from. Daycare's open hours can be confusing for parents. I would recommend you use a national chain center or locally owned center - they will allow you to keep your child in there as long as you want or need to. This is one of the reasons our family chose a center. I cannot use a provider that makes my family use set hours for pick up (drop off set hours are not a problem). My schedule varies each day according to my work load and I can't imagine how parents use any daycare who has set pick up hours. Everyone I know could never do that because their work hours vary daily with the work load. Sometimes, we get off at our scheduled work end, but most days, we all have to work late to finish the work. I would recommend you find another provider that can better suit your family's needs. In my area, the home based are the same price as centers and the centers offer much more amenities.

Your issue with the hair curling, toe nail painting is one of the many reasons our family chose a center. I too take issue with providers not being within both sight and sound of my child and I think it's reasonable to request this. Home based daycares have different requirements than centers. Licensed centers are not allowed to be outside of both sight and sound of the children, even during nap time. I suggest that you move to a center. Center workers aren't curling their hair during nap time since under licensing, a curling iron would be dangerous to the children. I think your provider was very unprofessional when she termed you because you didn't agree with what she was doing during nap time. She should have asked you at the interview if you will have a problem with her spending 20-90 minutes getting herself ready to go out on Fridays since it's important enough to term a family over. Being that you are new to daycare, you wouldn't even have imagined that this would be allowed so I won't fault you for that.

Here's what I do take issue with your now ex provider - the way she reacted to you. She was unprofessional by slamming the door on you and for terming you without much discussion or thought on it and then accusing you of harrassment. The definition of harrassment according to Meriam-Webster: 1a : exhaust, fatigue b (1) : to annoy persistently (2) : to create an unpleasant or hostile situation for especially by uninvited and unwelcome verbal or physical conduct 2: to worry and impede by repeated raids So she's using definition (2) to her advantage. You'll be better off with someone else. I firmly believe that children shouldn't be in the care of providers who make rash large decisions like that because odds are they will make many other rash decisions. While this is her business, you want a provider who is willing to work with you, not term you when you don't agree with her.

I highly recommend you read all the threads on here that the home based have posted - you'll get an excellent inside view of how they think - there hasn't been a case yet where the majority hasn't told them to term a parent for not agreeing with their policies, no matter how blatantly wrong the provider was. (for example, find the recent thread on provider's child biting customer's kids)

Lastly, please check youself when addressing any issue with the provider. You probably said some really dandies to her that day and now you're out a provider. It's never ok to get into a verbal arguement with a provider no matter the issue. I think your relationship was a poor match to begin with, so chaulk it up to live and learn. Next time, you're better off finding another provider and giving your 2 week notice when you don't agree with or question something she's doing. Odds are, if you think it's off, it probably is and your opinion probably won't change her way of doing it and if you voice your concerns, the next provider will term you as well.

[JenNJ]

To the OP:


Your issue with the hair curling, toe nail painting is one of the many reasons our family chose a center. I too take issue with providers not being within both sight and sound of my child and I think it's reasonable to request this. Home based daycares have different requirements than centers. Licensed centers are not allowed to be outside of both sight and sound of the children, even during nap time. I suggest that you move to a center. Center workers aren't curling their hair during nap time since under licensing, a curling iron would be dangerous to the children. I think your provider was very unprofessional when she termed you because you didn't agree with what she was doing during nap time. She should have asked you at the interview if you will have a problem with her spending 20-90 minutes getting herself ready to go out on Fridays since it's important enough to term a family over. Being that you are new to daycare, you wouldn't even have imagined that this would be allowed so I won't fault you for that.

Here's what I do take issue with your now ex provider - the way she reacted to you. She was unprofessional by slamming the door on you and for terming you without much discussion or thought on it and then accusing you of harrassment. The definition of harrassment according to Meriam-Webster: 1a : exhaust, fatigue b (1) : to annoy persistently (2) : to create an unpleasant or hostile situation for especially by uninvited and unwelcome verbal or physical conduct 2: to worry and impede by repeated raids So she's using definition (2) to her advantage. You'll be better off with someone else. I firmly believe that children shouldn't be in the care of providers who make rash large decisions like that because odds are they will make many other rash decisions. While this is her business, you want a provider who is willing to work with you, not term you when you don't agree with her.

I highly recommend you read all the threads on here that the home based have posted - you'll get an excellent inside view of how they think - there hasn't been a case yet where the majority hasn't told them to term a parent for not agreeing with their policies, no matter how blatantly wrong the provider was. (for example, find the recent thread on provider's child biting customer's kids)

Lastly, please check youself when addressing any issue with the provider. You probably said some really dandies to her that day and now you're out a provider. It's never ok to get into a verbal arguement with a provider no matter the issue. I think your relationship was a poor match to begin with, so chaulk it up to live and learn. Next time, you're better off finding another provider and giving your 2 week notice when you don't agree with or question something she's doing. Odds are, if you think it's off, it probably is and your opinion probably won't change her way of doing it and if you voice your concerns, the next provider will term you as well.

OP: If you don't like how a person runs their business, do not use that business anymore.

Unregistered who I quoted: The OP was unprofessional. Bringing up a care issue at pick up, in front of kids is VERY unprofessional. She should have called the provider after hours or set up a meeting for a later time. She said she was angry with her provider and this had clearly been brewing for a while. This leads me to believe she blew up at her provider in front of the kids. NOT OK EVER.
So yes, she was harassing the provider. After the provider asked her to leave, and she did not -- she became an intruder and we all know that homeowners can protect themselves and their property from intruders.

And while centers do have different regs, does NOT mean that they are followed. I have seen over 20 children sleeping alone in a classroom with all doors shut and when a parent pulled into the parking lot, the teachers ran into their rooms. (and FYI -- I quit that day and called the state on each and every member of the staff present) I would rather have my child in a home environment where the provider is much like any mother during her child's nap -- present, attentive, and aware but not hovering.
Moral of that story -- follow your gut, not what promises they use to reel you in.

Lastly, please do not lump all home providers into a group. We are not all the same. As a mother, I am appalled at some of the "techniques" used by members of this board. There are good and bad providers. Some just do things differently. In the end, it works out to matching your child's needs with a provider who is happy to accommodate those needs.

[Unregistered]

bad timing, a bad fit

Never confront your provider in front of your child. If you can resolve a conflict, the confrontation will still leave a scar on the credibility of the situation in your child's eyes.

Getting all dolled up for Friday night is not a part of the daycare job in my eyes, but I know that there are totally people who do it. I had a sitter when I was little who did it every night. We all sat in the basement and watched tv the whole time. Her kids too.

Its a cultural thing. Find a situation that you ARE comfortable with.

Some providers term any parent who expresses any concern, immediately. Shutting the door in your face is rude and unprofessional. Shutting the door on your foot verges on assault. The fact that you were having a parent conference about concerns in the doorstep is a really bad sign. Ask for a full refund considering your concerns that your son was neglected during non-care activities or possibly in the care of another, assault, an inability to discuss your concerns in a professional manner and terming without notice. Go on and make a report to licensing and file a complaint for assault about the foot. If she is willing to meet you in court on all of these concerns, cool. Otherwise, expect the check and know that she will be being watched from here on out.

[BabyMomma]

Is it just me...

Did the OP return to comment? LOL!!

[wdmmom]

The day a parent tells me what I can and can't do during naptime is the day they will find the door slammed in their face (or in your case, foot)!

Sorry but you had it coming to you!

I do my hair, put on make-up, mop the floors, catch me some Maury Show, or whatever comes to mind during naptime and I'm going to continue doing it day after day!

All the kids are under video & audio surveillance during naptime. If one of the littles wakes up, moves, shuffles, etc, I see and hear all. I have a 7 inch monitor I take into the bathroom while I'm straightening my hair!

Do you breathe over your child while he's napping, I think not! And if you are requiring that type of care, you need to see a nanny, not a group setting!

As for the money...the way I see it is this: You would have to provide a 2 week notice to terminate anyway. Whether you gave notice or she did, you're still responsible for it. I specifically tell parents that if they can't give me the 4 weeks notice I require, I will accept wages in lieu of time. She did the same thing.

It is what it is!

I work 11 hours a day and I have a 9.5 hour day max. The people that pick up at or before 430pm get a cheaper rate. Those that require me to work right down to the second of 530pm pay a much higher rate.

Your hard earned money goes into your child receiving care. What your provider does with HER hard earned money...who cares! She could be spending it each weekend at the bar or casino and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it!

You really need to get over yourself!

[SimpleMom]

Great now I want skittles. But I would eat them not roll around in them naked although I could I am the only one home.

::::::::

[kimsdaycare]

Wasn't gonna touch this. Can't help myself.

1) You dislike the 9 hour rule. OK, so you need longer hours. A center will and can accomodate this - for a higher tuition cost. This provider bases rates on the theory that parents are using just 9 hours. She is going out of her way and actually working more than twelve as a courtesy to those that don't need the same exact 9 hours. Quite nice of her to burn herself out for your convenience isn't it though? Hardly selfish, unfair or greedy in any way. Centers have a higher fee and additional staff so that this burden doesnt fall on any one person entirely. Breaks are taken at determined intervals based on workers laws and employees are scheduled a standard work week of hours. All of this additional staffing comes at a cost though, which is passed along in the rates they charge. You aren't getting all that flexibility in a home daycare, but you aren't getting staff turnover either. Your provider is the one you know and trust for the entire relationship. I'm not anti-center, it's just something to consider in your choice of care. You can't have both in most situations.

2) You dislike her primping during naptime. OK, so she spends her break dolling herself up. Yes. Naptime IS her breaktime. In a center they may have people sitting in the room staring at sleeping babies. But somehow I dont get the feeling that you would be any happier is she applied her false eyelashes and curled her hair in the same room they sleep in. You dislike that she even had an opportunity to do so on "your" dime. Each employee in a center or other outside of the home work environment has the opportunity to take their breaks however they wish and have a shorter day to boot. We are lucky to get ONE break in the hours we make ourselves available to families. ONE. If. we. are. lucky. I applaud her for taking this time for her, so many of us spend the entire time on daycare stuff that we never refresh for the next round. Most employees do personal things on break, I'm sure you do! When my children were in daycare I could care less what my provider did while they slept, so long as she was available to them in the same way a parent is at home and not outside mowing the lawn or taking a shower. But in the bathroom freshening up? Non issue for me. I wasn't paying center fees and she wasn't my nanny, her happiness and sanity went further in the wonderful care she provided my kids than me micromanaging her every minute because I felt like it was my right. I would have never even considered treating her that way. I'm sure she would have shown me the door if I did.

3) Never put your foot in the door of someone trying to get you to leave their home. What were you thinking? Oh thats right, you weren't. You were too busy telling her how it is and showing her whos boss. Newsflash, That is forceful entry and would have been resulted in a call to 9-1-1 had it happened here. Seriously, no business establishment would tolerate that from a client. How would you react if someone did that to you in your home? It's a physical threat and not to be taken lightly, especially in an environment where small children are present. Shame on you.

[wdmmom]

Oh...and one other thing...

How do you know she's not primping and prepping because she has a 2nd job?!

I'm sure your $3.33 an hour isn't exactly cutting it!::::::