Why Can't Parents Keep Their Kids Home When They Are Off???

[Unregistered]

I am the original poster and have not registered as I just found this site recently and was deciding if I was gonna stick around or not.

The parents of the kids I am talking about is has been off several days a week a lately and is still bringing the kids for the ENTIRE DAY!!! She is going back home everyday!! This is very frustrating to me...like I said I have been on both sides of this and when my children were in daycare they were there when i was working ONLY. If i was off they were with me these are MY children to raise. I did have to pay whether they were they or not. But that precious time with my children was worth more to me then taking my children to daycare because I have to pay for it anyway.

[QualiTcare]

Lets start off by saying I cut my maternity leave short by 3 weeks to help this family out. Their provider quit on them with no notice, so being nice I offered to help them out as she expressed they were in desperate need of care. I soon found out that she has a couple days off during the week and was still bringing the kids on those days! When I didn't even want to start yet...my baby was 3 weeks old and I missed out on spending quality time with her alone because this mom was soooo desperate for care. Instead I am sleep deprived caring for her kids while she does who knows what. I find it very rude of her and will never ever think about anyone else but myself and family from now on. I am so bitter about it I am thinking of terming!!
I have been on both sides and when my children were in daycare...I picked them up the moment I got off, even when it was early. I also kept them home when I was off. Why wouldn't you??? This is what i have trouble understanding....because we pay someone anyway we take them to get our moneys worth! I find this very sad, the only ones who suffer are the poor children. I never wanted to give up any moment I could spend with my children. I couldn't live with myself if i did this to my children.

In the past I have had families that had the same belief as me and this is my first time dealing with this and I just don't know if I can. I am tired of being irritated all the time about this!!

as you said yourself - you're bitter. you didn't want to start yet. you feel like you're missing time with your own child, etc. the bottom line is that you chose to go back to work early. it's hard to believe that you would do that only to help a family out. surely money was a factor. see, you could have said NO. since you said YES the parent is paying for childcare and can use it whenever you are open unless your contract says otherwise. you're blaming your lack of judgement/poor decision on the parent. it would be like the owner of a store opening when they weren't really ready to open and then being upset with people who came in to shop but didn't buy anything.

my daughter is in a summer program while i work and go to school. i usually leave school around 1pm after i meet with a study group and i pick her up right after even though she can stay until 5:30. half of the time when she sees me she's like, "i don't want to go yet!" she'll be playing or doing some activity and won't want to leave. i make her leave anyway. anyhow, there are days when i don't have school and i'm not scheduled to work and she wants to go to the program. i'll tell her, "well, i don't have to go to school/work. you can stay home with me." sometimes she will and sometimes she'll say, "no! we're supposed to swim today," or "suzy is going to be there and i want to play with her." i don't have school or work tomorrow and she's staying home with me. i had school today and i picked her up right after, but i made her lay down with me and take a nap when we got home because i was literally falling asleep when i was driving home on the interstate. she probably would've rather stayed at the program and i probably should've let her while i took a necessary nap instead of making her take one with me. i already know what people would say about someone SLEEPING while there child was in care (which she wasn't) but it shouldn't matter if she were. i pay them GOOD money and i pick her up early 90% of the time. i can imagine what people would say if i wrecked on the interstate and killed a family and then said, "well, i've just been so busy. i can't get any sleep and i'd feel bad leaving my child in daycare when i'm not actually in class/at work." i can only guess that they'd say, "how stupid. why didn't you go take a nap if she was in daycare? you're paying them to watch her." i'm sure the dead person's family would at least say that. of course the provider wouldn't.

i could go on forever about this topic. i get sick of hearing it. i think if you feel so strongly about parents not having their child in care unless they're at work 100% of the time then you should make a contract based on the hours that they work. if you don't do that then you are giving parents permission to use your services (that they PAY for) for all the hours you are open - regardless of what they are doing.

[Candyland]

while I really don't quite understand parents who choose to take their kids to day care when they themselves are off, I feel it's their right to do what they want with their time. After all, they have paid for the services. Sometimes, they set that time for dr. appts, or just lay on the couch. I'm sorry, but as much as I feel all little ones should be at home with their own parent raising them...that's just not the way it is. Besides, I'd be out of a job if all mommies stayed home!!! LOL
That being said; I, too, give a little "huh?" when I find out parents have stayed home but brought their child to daycare; though it is their right.

[Unregistered]

I am curios for those who say they never take off and leave kids in daycare.... when your child was in elementary school and you had a day off, did you take your kids out of school to be home with you? I am pretty sure you don't. If you got off early from work...did you check them out of school to run errands with you?


I see nothing wrong with an occasional day off a parent has that may need to catch up on cleaning, sleep, errands etc. Especially when a child goes to a place with a routine and school-like atmosphere. Of course I think it's important to take days off with your kids to spend one on one time witth them.


But if I can get in and get out of the grocery store in half the time, then yes I will stop by the store before I pick them up. (I always pick up by 2:30-3:00 anyway).

[nannyde]

I am curios for those who say they never take off and leave kids in daycare.... when your child was in elementary school and you had a day off, did you take your kids out of school to be home with you? I am pretty sure you don't. If you got off early from work...did you check them out of school to run errands with you?


I see nothing wrong with an occasional day off a parent has that may need to catch up on cleaning, sleep, errands etc. Especially when a child goes to a place with a routine and school-like atmosphere. Of course I think it's important to take days off with your kids to spend one on one time witth them.


But if I can get in and get out of the grocery store in half the time, then yes I will stop by the store before I pick them up. (I always pick up by 2:30-3:00 anyway).

My kid is required to attend school by law. I wouldn't go get him during a school day because I wouldn't want to take the chance of dinging against his allowable days off before I get sent to go see about a Truancy Court Judge.

They televise Truant Court and run it OVER AND OVER AND OVER again on the Des Moines Public School TV channel. I don't want to be on TV for that.

[blueclouds29]

i have a parent ask me if they can bring their child in because they are off. I said ' Ha, you paid for the day/week, you can do whatever you want!' that's up to you! You are so right, they do pay for the day. BUT i do understand when parents are off, why can't they just keep the kid(s) home?

[Unregistered]

As a parent I don't understand it either. I've heard about people who take whole weeks off and still send their kids to daycare. Why? I take an afternoon a week off but do so to spend time with my child, not to spend time by myself. Only once have we sent our child to daycare when one of us wasn't working and that was because my husband had pinkeye and was quarantined from us. When I was sick I kept her home with me. Maybe some feel since they are paying for the day they should use it? I guess I can understand that. One of the reasons we chose our new center over our former home daycare was because they give us ten "free" days a year for illness and vacation. It saves us several hundred dollars a year.

[Unregistered]

My kid is required to attend school by law. I wouldn't go get him during a school day because I wouldn't want to take the chance of dinging against his allowable days off before I get sent to go see about a Truancy Court Judge.

They televise Truant Court and run it OVER AND OVER AND OVER again on the Des Moines Public School TV channel. I don't want to be on TV for that.

Ok, I understand that.


To me, I guess, I am comparing this to the same as a SAHM using a Mother's Day Out program for 1 day a week, so she can get things done. Or two parents having a babysitter come over on a Friday Night, so they can go on a date.


Now of course, If you have it in your contract that you don't allow it, then parents should abide to it.

[MyAngels]

I am curios for those who say they never take off and leave kids in daycare.... when your child was in elementary school and you had a day off, did you take your kids out of school to be home with you? I am pretty sure you don't. If you got off early from work...did you check them out of school to run errands with you?


I see nothing wrong with an occasional day off a parent has that may need to catch up on cleaning, sleep, errands etc. Especially when a child goes to a place with a routine and school-like atmosphere. Of course I think it's important to take days off with your kids to spend one on one time witth them.


But if I can get in and get out of the grocery store in half the time, then yes I will stop by the store before I pick them up. (I always pick up by 2:30-3:00 anyway).

I can't speak for everyone else here, but when I respond to posts on the topic of keeping your kids home if you are not working, I am thinking about the days before my children started elementary school. Attending school is mandatory, attending daycare is not.

[jen]

As a parent I don't understand it either. I've heard about people who take whole weeks off and still send their kids to daycare. Why? I take an afternoon a week off but do so to spend time with my child, not to spend time by myself. Only once have we sent our child to daycare when one of us wasn't working and that was because my husband had pinkeye and was quarantined from us. When I was sick I kept her home with me. Maybe some feel since they are paying for the day they should use it? I guess I can understand that. One of the reasons we chose our new center over our former home daycare was because they give us ten "free" days a year for illness and vacation. It saves us several hundred dollars a year.

It's great that you spend your extra time with your children...and I've never met a provider who minded parents dropping off when the didn't work here and there...it's the ones who NEVER take their extra time with their children that drive us crazy.

It's great that your center offers free days, but the thing is this. Parent's shouldn't need a financial incentive to spend time with their kids.

[jen]

I see nothing wrong with an occasional day off a parent has that may need to catch up on cleaning, sleep, errands etc. Especially when a child goes to a place with a routine and school-like atmosphere. Of course I think it's important to take days off with your kids to spend one on one time witth them.


But if I can get in and get out of the grocery store in half the time, then yes I will stop by the store before I pick them up. (I always pick up by 2:30-3:00 anyway).

I don't think anyone is talking about parents who take the OCCASIONAL day off and pick up by 2:30 or 3pm.

You have NO idea how many kids are dropped off at 6:30 AM and then not picked up until 5 or 5:30 pm every single day...and then when Mom gets a day off...same schedule...EVERY time. I've had a family in daycare whose kids attend between 10.5 and 11 hours per day for nearly 4 years and they are NEVER home with Mom or Dad even if Mom and Dad aren't working. EVER. It's those people who create the frustration among providers.

[Unregistered]

I don't think anyone is talking about parents who take the OCCASIONAL day off and pick up by 2:30 or 3pm.

You have NO idea how many kids are dropped off at 6:30 AM and then not picked up until 5 or 5:30 pm every single day...and then when Mom gets a day off...same schedule...EVERY time. I've had a family in daycare whose kids attend between 10.5 and 11 hours per day for nearly 4 years and they are NEVER home with Mom or Dad even if Mom and Dad aren't working. EVER. It's those people who create the frustration among providers.

Sorry I misunderstood, I completely agree with the above. Kids need time with their parents that do not include just eating dinner and putting them to bed.


And the lying to the provider is not right. I remember reading about that lady that would get dressed like she went to work and dropped the kids off, then went home. If you are honest with the provider, then I am sure they wouldn't mind you stopping by to run an errand if you get off work early. (As long as you aren't late picking them up).

[Unregistered]

It's great that you spend your extra time with your children...and I've never met a provider who minded parents dropping off when the didn't work here and there...it's the ones who NEVER take their extra time with their children that drive us crazy.

It's great that your center offers free days, but the thing is this. Parent's shouldn't need a financial incentive to spend time with their kids.

Oh, I totally agree that they shouldn't, but that's how it is unfortunately. It's hard for people to see past money. There's a mindset of "as long as I have to pay for it anyway ...." I think if daycare providers offered a few "free" days to their parents, like my center does, they'd maybe see their parents start to keep their kids home more on their days off. Maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part. For the record, there were several days when we kept our daughter home from the home daycare and paid for the days anyway. We don't only do it because we get "free" days now. It's just nice to not have to pay.

[ksmomof3]

There I registered!

And like someone else posted, I wasn't talking about parents taking the occasional day off and bringing their child to daycare anyway. Its the ones who are here everyday open to close even though their mother is off a lot.

And yes I did CHOOSE to start early but it was only because I was thinking of the other person and if I was on her side and desperately looking for childcare. I think of others before myself too often and am learning very quickly in this business NOT to do that! I had saved enough money back for my family to survive for me to take 6-8 weeks off afterwards. Believe me it is a lesson learned.

[daycare]

There I registered!

And like someone else posted, I wasn't talking about parents taking the occasional day off and bringing their child to daycare anyway. Its the ones who are here everyday open to close even though their mother is off a lot.

And yes I did CHOOSE to start early but it was only because I was thinking of the other person and if I was on her side and desperately looking for childcare. I think of others before myself too often and am learning very quickly in this business NOT to do that! I had saved enough money back for my family to survive for me to take 6-8 weeks off afterwards. Believe me it is a lesson learned.

I used to do that when I first started to get a new client....Now I don't bend for anyone on my hours. Here are my hours, if they work for you great, if not, then Im not for you. I have learned, DONT change the rules for one family, you will regret it later..

Look at it like this...you are a business and you have set hours, just like most business....Now I know this is a bad comparision, but target wont open an hour early just for you would they?