Why Can't Parents Keep Their Kids Home When They Are Off???

[Unregistered]

Lets start off by saying I cut my maternity leave short by 3 weeks to help this family out. Their provider quit on them with no notice, so being nice I offered to help them out as she expressed they were in desperate need of care. I soon found out that she has a couple days off during the week and was still bringing the kids on those days! When I didn't even want to start yet...my baby was 3 weeks old and I missed out on spending quality time with her alone because this mom was soooo desperate for care. Instead I am sleep deprived caring for her kids while she does who knows what. I find it very rude of her and will never ever think about anyone else but myself and family from now on. I am so bitter about it I am thinking of terming!!

I have been on both sides and when my children were in daycare...I picked them up the moment I got off, even when it was early. I also kept them home when I was off. Why wouldn't you??? This is what i have trouble understanding....because we pay someone anyway we take them to get our moneys worth! I find this very sad, the only ones who suffer are the poor children. I never wanted to give up any moment I could spend with my children. I couldn't live with myself if i did this to my children.

In the past I have had families that had the same belief as me and this is my first time dealing with this and I just don't know if I can. I am tired of being irritated all the time about this!!

[wdmmom]

This is something I've actually asked at interviewing! "If you have a day off, do you intend to keep your child home with you?" My contract specifically says I only provide care to parents that are at school or work. I obviously can't control this but I can control who I work for and who I don't.

Putting them on the spot with that kind of question likely gets a truthful answer.

[Cat Herder]

I am sorry this happened to you. Bet it makes you wish you knew the other providers side of the story, doesn't it?

I am often skeptical of the stories I am told of other providers and used to call to get the other side before I accepted them. We generally have similar personality types, YKWIM?

I no longer take kids unless I am their first provider. It is a personal choice. I am older and have reached a point where I don't want to "fix" other folks issues anymore... I will on an emergency medical basis only (sent to me by the state temporarily), now.

I have come to accept that the DCK's will be here everyday I am open, for as many hours a day as I am open. It is the new reality of daycare. These parents are overtasked and overworked with too many balls in the air.

The only way they will stay home is if you don't allow them to come. Cut and dry.

You will need to think hard on this and decide if you will provide Full-Time Care or Contracted hours. (There are benefits and risks to both) Then stick to it with no exceptions.

Nannyde is the only one I know of who has mastered a way to have both.... She has mad skills so I hope she pipes in for you, too.

[momma2girls]

This is something I've actually asked at interviewing! "If you have a day off, do you intend to keep your child home with you?" My contract specifically says I only provide care to parents that are at school or work. I obviously can't control this but I can control who I work for and who I don't.

Putting them on the spot with that kind of question likely gets a truthful answer.

I actually added this same thing in my contract about 4 yrs. ago. I have written- My hrs. are for work and commute times only!!
When you ask them this, are they truthful, or do they look at each other, and say- Well I guess

[skittles]

Hi have been through two maturnity leaves in my daycare both times had to come back to work at two weeks. I have only one set of parents that will leave their child in care open to close even though they get out of work at 2pm. Sometimes I am sad by the little one year old who is left at my house and hour after all the children are gone. He is only one but he walks around my home yelling "mama," dada and he goes to the window and door and waits for them. I am unable to distract him with toys or books, he usually cries when I hold him and wants to be put down. He knows the other kids are gone home, and wants to go as well. I find the kids that are in care the most are the ones who obsess the most off of my own kids. They have the worst behaviors and crave adult attention until that becomes their whole focus. They are usually the ones who act up the most at drop off and pick up because this is the only time they see their parents. One liitle one I have gets pick up to be drop off at another child care or put to bed. Weekends are at grandparents. Not kidding, the parents are really open about it and if I have a question they say they don't know they will have to ask grandma!!! Two sets of my parents pick up, give their children supper and put them to bed at 6:30-7!!! Three and four year olds. They claim their child sleeps 6:30pm-7:30am!!
I use to have a bunch of families that would dump there kids when they are not working. Now at the start of the year when I chose my vacation time I also choose a variety of days through out the year that I would be closed or closed earlier. I typed these up in addition to my two weeks vacation I take each year. None of these are paid for me. I call these my "me" days. Also I use to close at 5:30 and now I close at 5pm. I don't tell the parents but the half hour difference I use for cleaning and in my mind I still close at 5:30 pm, so if parents are "late" they pay my fee and I feel like I am not being taken advantage of.

[cheerfuldom]

Maternity leaves are a pain. There is ALWAYS a parent there to give you a full on sob story and dump their kid on you no matter if you got home from the hospital the day before. Some of it is pure laziness and the rest is, sadly, just the way most people are these days. So overwhelmed with their own life that they do not have even a second to consider someone else's life, especially not someone they are paying a service to. You are essentially a robot that has no feelings, no needs and certainly should be able to juggle their kids and put your own aside. All that to say, I am sorry you had to learn the hard way as I also had to learn but don't schedule your maternity leaves around the families. 99.99999% of the time, you are going to end up resentful, exhausted and seriously underappreciated.

[Michelle]

Parents have some nerve!
I actually had a parent call my husband while I was in labor with my dd and demand that I find back up care for her right then!
I was Induced 4 weeks early because of severe toxemia and they were saying that both the baby and I could have died!
Then when i got home she said that if i didn't watch her kids that day, she would find other care because I was in the hospital too long. (5 days)

[DCMom]

This is something I've actually asked at interviewing! "If you have a day off, do you intend to keep your child home with you?" My contract specifically says I only provide care to parents that are at school or work. I obviously can't control this but I can control who I work for and who I don't.

Putting them on the spot with that kind of question likely gets a truthful answer.

I ask during the interview and the answer is almost always 'of course we will' and maybe they do the first few times. But in my experience it doesn't last long!

That's why I had to change my attitude about it. Parents aren't going to change. My dcp's for the most part are really respectful of on-time payments, my house, my rules and my vacation time etc. so if they bring the kids when they are not working, all I ask is that they let me know they are going to be late and be here by 9:00am.

Just my feeling on it

[WDW]

Parents have some nerve!
I actually had a parent call my husband while I was in labor with my dd and demand that I find back up care for her right then!
I was Induced 4 weeks early because of severe toxemia and they were saying that both the baby and I could have died!
Then when i got home she said that if i didn't watch her kids that day, she would find other care because I was in the hospital too long. (5 days)

I seriously hope you let her go! That's awful!

[DaisyMamma]

I would be absolutely LIVID

[Michelle]

I seriously hope you let her go! That's awful!

I did 5 weeks later, but not before she brought her Tylenol dosed fevered child to my daycare knowing I had a a newborn and my baby got a fever and my 5 week old d.d. was hospitalized for a week...AND she was mad that I wasn't available to watch her kids because I wanted to stay with my baby in the hosp.
She didn't care about me or my family, my d.d. had 3 i.v.'s put in during that week because they got infiltrated and she eventually had one in her scalp because her tiny veins kept collapsing.
The other parents were so mad that they all wanted to smack her!
I was very new back then and now I don't put up with this crap anymore.

[Unregistered]

Would you still expect payment on those days the child wasn't in your care? If so, I don't think you're being reasonable. An off day for working parents can include having appointments to attend, errands to run and just plain to relax from the daily grind.

[WDW]

Would you still expect payment on those days the child wasn't in your care? If so, I don't think you're being reasonable. An off day for working parents can include having appointments to attend, errands to run and just plain to relax from the daily grind.

I love how everyone who is "against" the original poster is always unregistered.

Do you not realize that we as providers have things to do, and believe or not, need to "relax from the daily grind" as well sometimes. It is easier to do such things if you have a kid out here and there. And last time I checked, parents get paid vacation. We really don't.

[momma2girls]

I love how everyone who is "against" the original poster is always unregistered.

Do you not realize that we as providers have things to do, and believe or not, need to "relax from the daily grind" as well sometimes. It is easier to do such things if you have a kid out here and there. And last time I checked, parents get paid vacation. We really don't.

I agree-
Parents taking vac. days off work- I understand that all parents need to make dr. appts. etc...
I had parents who always had off one day a week, she still cont. to bring her child to my daycare at the same time and pick up at the same time, even though, she was off all day. This would happen every week, till I finally said something to her. This child was 9 months old also.
Do you want to drop down to 3 days/week? I see you are not working on Tues.
She said- I guess- I explained to her, it would save her $25.00/week.
Then you have the parents that take off sick, 3-4 week vac. days a yr. and always bring their child to daycare. WOW!!!
You don't even want to spend one day of your vac. with your child???
Then I have the ones, that have the day off that come in whenever they feel like it, and pick up late!!!!
This has only happened a couple of times though.
I had one parent take the entire week off, and the colicy baby spent everyday with me, drop off at the same time and pick up at the same time everyday. FUNN!!!!
I did change my contract to say- my contracted hrs. are for work and commute times only. I still have families that bring their child to me, when they are off, but I don't mind if it is one day, or a couple of days, but it's ridiculous anymore than this

[Unregistered]

Payment

Would you still expect payment on those days the child wasn't in your care? If so, I don't think you're being reasonable. An off day for working parents can include having appointments to attend, errands to run and just plain to relax from the daily grind.

Why not that is what is holding your child's spot. I feel some parent just want to put their kids off on someone else. I tell my parents that I am here to help them while they work or go to school only! I'm not here to RAISE their kids thats why God gave the kids to them! When I raised my kids they went everywhere with me. If I had to go to the DR, get grocerys, or what ever. That was my responsibility not to put them off on someone.