Why Can't Parents Keep Their Kids Home When They Are Off???

[e.j.]

Lets start off by saying I cut my maternity leave short by 3 weeks to help this family out. Their provider quit on them with no notice, so being nice I offered to help them out as she expressed they were in desperate need of care. I soon found out that she has a couple days off during the week and was still bringing the kids on those days! When I didn't even want to start yet...my baby was 3 weeks old and I missed out on spending quality time with her alone because this mom was soooo desperate for care. Instead I am sleep deprived caring for her kids while she does who knows what. I find it very rude of her and will never ever think about anyone else but myself and family from now on. I am so bitter about it I am thinking of terming!!

I'm not one who usually minds if a parent brings a child to me on their day off. As long as they're paying me to care for their child, I feel they have every right to spend their time as they see fit - as long as I have a way to reach them in case of emergency.

The above situation is a bit different, though. You cut your maternity leave short by 3 weeks to help the family out. That's a huge favor you did for them! You not only gave up one-on-one time with your new baby but also the rest you needed and could have had if you hadn't agreed to help the family out of their jam. It seems to me, the family should have returned the favor done for them by not taking advantage of your willingness to help them. They should have kept the kids home if they weren't working. I can understand why you're feeling upset.

Unless they're totally selfish people, though, they probably just never gave much thought to your side of things. If you're still in the middle of that aniticipated 3 week leave, I'd speak up. I'd explain that you were trying to help them out so they didn't miss work but that you'd appreciate it if they would keep the kids home on their days off so you can catch up on your rest and devote the extra time to your baby while you can. I wouldn't charge them for the days they don't bring the kids, though - although it would be nice of them to pay you anyway since you're going out of your way for them. Once your maternity leave is over, you could go back to full time hours/pay.

If your maternity leave is over by now, I think I'd try to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they just weren't thinking. Try to get past it if they're a good dc family otherwise. Live and learn. The next time someone asks for something, give some thought to what will work best for you and set some perameters around what you're willing to do and not willing to do.

Congratulations on the new baby!

[e.j.]

My kid is required to attend school by law. I wouldn't go get him during a school day because I wouldn't want to take the chance of dinging against his allowable days off before I get sent to go see about a Truancy Court Judge.

Exactly! Comparing to kids enrolled in school to day care kids is like comparing apples to oranges. There is a difference.

[Unregistered]

I'm not one who usually minds if a parent brings a child to me on their day off. As long as they're paying me to care for their child, I feel they have every right to spend their time as they see fit - as long as I have a way to reach them in case of emergency.

The above situation is a bit different, though. You cut your maternity leave short by 3 weeks to help the family out. That's a huge favor you did for them! You not only gave up one-on-one time with your new baby but also the rest you needed and could have had if you hadn't agreed to help the family out of their jam. It seems to me, the family should have returned the favor done for them by not taking advantage of your willingness to help them. They should have kept the kids home if they weren't working. I can understand why you're feeling upset.

Unless they're totally selfish people, though, they probably just never gave much thought to your side of things. If you're still in the middle of that aniticipated 3 week leave, I'd speak up. I'd explain that you were trying to help them out so they didn't miss work but that you'd appreciate it if they would keep the kids home on their days off so you can catch up on your rest and devote the extra time to your baby while you can. I wouldn't charge them for the days they don't bring the kids, though - although it would be nice of them to pay you anyway since you're going out of your way for them. Once your maternity leave is over, you could go back to full time hours/pay.

If your maternity leave is over by now, I think I'd try to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they just weren't thinking. Try to get past it if they're a good dc family otherwise. Live and learn. The next time someone asks for something, give some thought to what will work best for you and set some perameters around what you're willing to do and not willing to do.

Congratulations on the new baby!

Thank you...its nice to have someone understand why i was upset about it. Unfortunately my maternity leave would have been over with by now anyway. And your right the thought probably never crossed their mind that I did them a huge favor. I need to just get over and move on. It would probably be alot easier if I wasn't so sleep deprived!!
I am thankful I have found this site...i have found this job to be stressful and isolating at times and it really helps to read about others going thru similar circumstances. I can talk to my dh but I just don't think anyone actually understands until they do this job!

[momma2girls]

Thank you...its nice to have someone understand why i was upset about it. Unfortunately my maternity leave would have been over with by now anyway. And your right the thought probably never crossed their mind that I did them a huge favor. I need to just get over and move on. It would probably be alot easier if I wasn't so sleep deprived!!
I am thankful I have found this site...i have found this job to be stressful and isolating at times and it really helps to read about others going thru similar circumstances. I can talk to my dh but I just don't think anyone actually understands until they do this job!

I think everyone should do daycare for a couple of yrs. to understand everything of it.

[Unregistered]

My opinion

I know this will sound bad, but I charge only for the time that kids are in my care because I want the parents to spend their free time with their kids. I would rather get paid a little bit less rather than see parents just send their kids here every day even though mom or dad isn't working that day. I have some kids pretty much from open to close and I know that when their parents pick them up, they'll spend very little time with them before bedtime. When I say time, I mean time where they are giving their child their undivided attention.

That being said, I still end up with kids coming to daycare even though the parents aren't working. All I ask is for the parent to be reachable by cell phone while they are running errands or having their "me time". I had hoped that saving money would be incentive enough to spend their free time with their children but that's not the case.

[jen]

Oh, I totally agree that they shouldn't, but that's how it is unfortunately. It's hard for people to see past money. There's a mindset of "as long as I have to pay for it anyway ...." I think if daycare providers offered a few "free" days to their parents, like my center does, they'd maybe see their parents start to keep their kids home more on their days off. Maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part. For the record, there were several days when we kept our daughter home from the home daycare and paid for the days anyway. We don't only do it because we get "free" days now. It's just nice to not have to pay.

Nope, you are correct. If providers offered a few free days parents would keep their kids home more. I used to offer 10 free per year and they ALWAYS got used up.

But here is the thing...I am NOT a center. I am an individual provider. It cost my family well over $1500 per year to provide an incentive for people to take some time with their kids. And, usually, they just sent them to Grandmas to save a little money.

I hear what you are saying and I think many parents agree with you. But honestly, why should the provider and her family have less in order to make sure that a parent sees their child more? Plus, you can bet your bottom dollar that the center has those free days built in to the cost of tuition. So essentially, in order to offer free days I would simply boost my rates...

[Unregistered]

You are absolutely right - the cost of tuition is a bit higher at the center than at the home daycare we were in. We had wanted to use the center from the start but felt we couldn't afford it. After we weren't happy with the home daycare situation, we started looking at the center again and when we crunched the numbers, we found that with the two free weeks, it was pretty much a wash.

I just think it's a tad silly for providers to complain about parents not keeping their kids at home, yet expect them to pay for days when the kids aren't there.

[WDW]

Nope, you are correct. If providers offered a few free days parents would keep their kids home more. I used to offer 10 free per year and they ALWAYS got used up.

But here is the thing...I am NOT a center. I am an individual provider. It cost my family well over $1500 per year to provide an incentive for people to take some time with their kids. And, usually, they just sent them to Grandmas to save a little money.

I hear what you are saying and I think many parents agree with you. But honestly, why should the provider and her family have less in order to make sure that a parent sees their child more? Plus, you can bet your bottom dollar that the center has those free days built in to the cost of tuition. So essentially, in order to offer free days I would simply boost my rates...

This is so right! I have to say though, I offer my families vacation days and for the most part, they hardly ever get used up. Or they wait until Christmas and panic because they don't want to lose them, so they do the last minute "we're not coming" bit. I asked one time where the kids were going for the next three days, because they had been supposed to come to me. Mom said, oh, well DCD and I are off work. SOOOO, you were going to send your kids to me even though you were home, when my child was on school break and my family was here from out of state for the holidays? That's great. Thanks.

[WDW]

I just think it's a tad silly for providers to complain about parents not keeping their kids at home, yet expect them to pay for days when the kids aren't there.

Do you get paid vacation? Paid sick leave? Personal time? Yeah. We don't. What do you make an hour? (not really asking..just making my point) Most of us get around $2.

[Unregistered]

I think its a tad silly

To expect to get paid and not have to work.

If you want to do someone a favor - say so - like " I am on maternity leave, but I could use the extra money for the days you really need me for the next few weeks, then I am happy to go full time."

I think its great to have a lower ratio when parents have their kids home, but I also think its not fair to charge...why should you get less work and keep the money, especially if it is a regular day? If you want to provide four days of care, charge for four days!

I had a provider who accused me of not allowing my child to participate in the morning activities when I wanted to keep him until I went to work at 11 ( so drop of at 10, have breakfast with him...). Its like I was robbing him of something by not letting him eat fruit loops with her and her rotating staff of nincompoops. (yes I can spell that)

You can imagine that we did not stay there long.

[daycare]

Do you get paid vacation? Paid sick leave? Personal time? Yeah. We don't. What do you make an hour? (not really asking..just making my point) Most of us get around $2.

its hard for them to relate because they don't own their own company. When they leave there are other people there to run it, the company doent shut down. Home daycare is the closest you can get to personal care for your child, unless you want to hire a nanny. Even then, Nanny's get paid vacations or get to go on vactaions with the family..............

To unregistered:The thing about DC is that we cant control the number of people we have in our care, we are limited by the state. Unlike most bussiness, we can't increase our monthly profits month after month. We are limited to a certain amount of money we can make. So if little susie keeps getting sick how is that our fault? Little susies parents and johnnys parents and kellies parents all decide to go on vaction at the same time why should I have to be finically punished. There is no way I could make up for the financila loss due to thier absence.

Let me ask you this, how would you like it if your boss didnt pay you every day he decided to stay home, went on vactiaon or got sick.....that is what you are asking us to do...............

[PitterPatter]

[QUOTE=daycare;117083]its hard for them to relate because they don't own their own company. When they leave there are other people there to run it, the company doent shut down. Home daycare is the closest you can get to personal care for your child, unless you want to hire a nanny. Even then, Nanny's get paid vacations or get to go on vactaions with the family..............

To unregistered:The thing about DC is that we cant control the number of people we have in our care, we are limited by the state. Unlike most bussiness, we can't increase our monthly profits month after month. We are limited to a certain amount of money we can make. So if little susie keeps getting sick how is that our fault? Little susies parents and johnnys parents and kellies parents all decide to go on vaction at the same time why should I have to be finically punished. There is no way I could make up for the financila loss due to thier absence.

Let me ask you this, how would you like it if your boss didnt pay you every day he decided to stay home, went on vactiaon or got sick.....that is what you are asking us to do...............[/QUOTE]

Exactly! Well said! THAT is how I have to do it because I have state funded families.

[QualiTcare]

Do you get paid vacation? Paid sick leave? Personal time? Yeah. We don't. What do you make an hour? (not really asking..just making my point) Most of us get around $2.

that's so inaccurate and unfair to make people think that providers only get $2 per hour. you may get $2 per hour PER CHILD, but when you have multiple children - it's much more than $2 per hour. why on earth would you work for $2 an hour? that's absurd.

[Unregistered]

that's so inaccurate and unfair to make people think that providers only get $2 per hour. you may get $2 per hour PER CHILD, but when you have multiple children - it's much more than $2 per hour. why on earth would you work for $2 an hour? that's absurd.

This. My former provider charged $2.50 an hour and had 12 children in her care. Of course, as with any business, there is overhead, but even then I'm willing to bet she made more than my paltry $12 an hour. So yeah, not a whole lot of sympathy there.

I'm not saying don't deserve a vacation. I'm saying that most business owners don't expect me to pay for it.

[daycare]

I make $1.78 an hour per child after my insurance, LIC fees, taxes, curriculum, food, house maintenance, extra car insurance, light, water, and so on.

I have a small LIC and I can have only 5 kids because I have one child that counts towards my capacity. do the math. I make less than minimum wage.