Anyone Asked You This Before?

[Meeko]

I know....it's quite terrifying when you think about it.

According to the "experts" (haha!) ....creepy DCD should be able to sit down and stare at alone DCP all day. He should be able to look her up and down to his hearts content....because his child is there.

I learned the hard way a few years back when a DCD would come almost daily to "visit his daughter". He gave us the creeps and I did some investigating on my own........Turns out he was a convicted child rapist and was loving having little girls all around him.

NEVER AGAIN.

Now parents can come by...but they spend the time in another room with their child. I would still be wary of that if I was a woman alone in the house. I have my adult son working with me and he could snap any of our current dads like a toothpick....but most providers are alone. Since when is is ever a safe thing for a woman to be alone in a house with a man she doesn't know well? having the children around does not make her safer. In fact it makes her more vunerable as she is worried about their care and safety.

Oh and don't think for a second that only men can be dangerous..........Nanny de once posted that just because you have a kid...doesn't automatically make you a nice or safe person. No strangers in my house!

[Blackcat31]

...........

[missnikki]

Well, this thread has taken a very disturbing turn.

Pretty simple, really:
"I don't allow touring of my program during business hours for saftey reasons. I would not accept any child into my care whose parents would allow me to do so. I'm sure you wouldn't want that as a client, so I don't allow it."

[daycare]

this just happened to me recently, I posted about it a few months back.

The mom came for a tour and seemed super nice. her kid was freaking out the whole time he was here, so she emailed me and asked me if i would allow for her and the child to come to the DC for a day to see how the program runs.


I had told her that I dont do tours during DC hours from day one, so I was shocked taht she was asking me this again. I told her NO sorry I wont do it and hope that you understand that my current families expect me to keep my word of keeping thier child safe at all times. I then told her that if she was my client that I would offer her the same protection for her child.

I also told her that I understood that she wanted to get to know me and wanted her child to feel comfotable here so I invited her to come again as many times as she wanted after hours or on a sunday. She emailed me back and said sorry I decline your offer.

I just left it at that and moved on....No way Jose

[WDW]

I agree. I know it is harder with home daycare because we are filling a spot, have holding fees, etc. With centers though if you don't secure a spot at 6 weeks pregnant, you aren't going to get one.

Now that I have my own daycare, it is hard. I have tried with a few families to figure out a way, but I get that it's hard. I did place my son in an in-home setting though, not a center. She believed in choosing who she wanted in her daycare, we got a long, and she held me a spot. I was lucky.

[MamaBear]

Really?

What these parents are fishing for is your open door policy. Clearly you don't have one and any responsible parent isn't going to choose a provider who they can't tour during your working hours and actually view how you work with the children. If you read every piece of recommend strategies in finding care online, every single one of them recommends to stay away from providers like you who don't have open door policies. Sorry, you may not agree, but it's true.

I do have an open door policy --- FOR MY FAMILIES WHO HAVE CHILDREN IN MY CARE!!! And my door is still locked until the parent knocks!!!

Why would I have an open door policy for freakin strangers? That is the stupidest thing I've heard all day. What about the children that are in my care who I am being 100% completely responsible for their safety??!! Am I supposed to let anyone who finds my ad off of the internet swing by and hang out with my daycare children all day? Have you heard of all the Craigslist killing going on these days? Just had an 18 year old boy get murdered last night not far from me answering a Craigslist ad. You dont know WHO you are inviting into your home to check out your daycare. Anyone could call me and "pretend" to be pregnant to get into my daycare doors.

I do my tours AFTER daycare hours when my husband is home with me. Would you rather have your children in a daycare that lets ANY schmo in their front door to hang out with your little one???? Or have your child in a daycare where your child is 100% safe and protected??? Think about it! REALLY? Ugh... Thats just idiotic.

[Live and Learn]

What these parents are fishing for is your open door policy. Clearly you don't have one and any responsible parent isn't going to choose a provider who they can't tour during your working hours and actually view how you work with the children. If you read every piece of recommend strategies in finding care online, every single one of them recommends to stay away from providers like you who don't have open door policies. Sorry, you may not agree, but it's true.

.......can't help but wonder if this is the same "unregistered" poster from the pink dress thread.

[MamaBear]

I bet...

I bet it is! ::

[wdmmom]

this just happened to me recently, I posted about it a few months back.

The mom came for a tour and seemed super nice. her kid was freaking out the whole time he was here, so she emailed me and asked me if i would allow for her and the child to come to the DC for a day to see how the program runs.


I had told her that I dont do tours during DC hours from day one, so I was shocked taht she was asking me this again. I told her NO sorry I wont do it and hope that you understand that my current families expect me to keep my word of keeping thier child safe at all times. I then told her that if she was my client that I would offer her the same protection for her child.

I also told her that I understood that she wanted to get to know me and wanted her child to feel comfotable here so I invited her to come again as many times as she wanted after hours or on a sunday. She emailed me back and said sorry I decline your offer.

I just left it at that and moved on....No way Jose

I've had WAY too many people ask to "shadow" or come by and watch how I run my daycare for a few hours. Nope! I give you a daily schedule...that is what we do. We have a routine and we stick to it. I will meet with you up to 3 times to get your business but I'm not going to have you hang out on my couch eating cheetos while I work and have to watch your kid in addition to my other responsibilities.

I remember a prospective client (right when i first started) asking me if she could come by for a few hours and see how I ran things and she didn't even have a job!!!! She had applied at a temporary agency and knew she would get a job and need daycare for her daughter. I told her she was more than welcome to schedule another appointment after she secured the job and we could move forward from there. I got an email a week later saying she couldn't pass the background check to get the job! YIKES!!!!!

[Meeko]

I've had WAY too many people ask to "shadow" or come by and watch how I run my daycare for a few hours. Nope! I give you a daily schedule...that is what we do. We have a routine and we stick to it. I will meet with you up to 3 times to get your business but I'm not going to have you hang out on my couch eating cheetos while I work and have to watch your kid in addition to my other responsibilities.

I remember a prospective client (right when i first started) asking me if she could come by for a few hours and see how I ran things and she didn't even have a job!!!! She had applied at a temporary agency and knew she would get a job and need daycare for her daughter. I told her she was more than welcome to schedule another appointment after she secured the job and we could move forward from there. I got an email a week later saying she couldn't pass the background check to get the job! YIKES!!!!!

....and yet "unregistered" would have let a woman who can't pass a background check into her home for the day!!! Now that's a YIKES!!!!

[CdnMumof4]

wtf??

ha..no way would I allow someone to shadow me through my day. and yes..why the heck is she inquiring so early on in her pregnancy?!! people strike so much fear into pregnant women about daycare, I remember...I was one of them putting my fetus on a prestigious preschool's wait-list - we moved and he never attended ;-)

but no way would I allow a parent, or anyone, shadow me for the day and be in my home with other people's children.

I had a perspective parent ask if I would get a police clearance from every adult who would be in contact with their child , while in my care. I would do that if one of my contracted parents really wanted. These people didn't even set up a firm interview ! [although the mother called one day and drilled me with questions, and then I got a call from her husband saying he got excellent referrals for me and wanted his kid to attend my daycare- then I said " oh I spoke to your wife yesterday :-) " ...and I never spokke to them again. ]

[Unregistered]

and exactly why I chose center care

And all the "info" no doubt comes from people who have never actually worked in child care! Too much info from the likes of Dr. Spock telling them how to raise well balanced kids (his own son committed suicide by the way)

So let's just say a provider lets parents follow her around all day. They will see her being the very best Mary Poppins ever and will be so excited to have their child go there!!! They have NO WAY of knowing that Mary Poppins is actually a witch and that their baby is going to be treated badly when Mommy and Daddy are not around to see it. It's a complete waste of time.

ANYONE...regardless of their job...is going to put on their best front on when being closely watched. It's human nature. It is NOT a good way to ensure you are finding good care. Talk to the provider and ask for references. LOTS of them. Past and present clients. In fact the provider should give them without being asked. Call licensing and ask about their record. Don't expect to get any idea of how good your child care provider is just by watching them.


Chances are you might see a flustered and embarrassed woman who's day care kids are deliberately breaking all the rules because they see strangers. You could witness complete chaos. Under normal circumstances she may run a very orderly ship. Again...not a true picture of the provider.

Peering over someone's shoulder is no way to start a relationship with someone who will be important to your child. It SCREAMS "I don't trust you".

I am open and honest with my day care parents. They can ask questions. They can ask other parents. But they can't be in my face while I do my job.

I don't take any parents who tell me that they will be popping in all the time to "observe" me. They might as well say "I don't trust you and so I am going to check up on you every chance I get" Great relationship

Parents are welcome to come visit their own child once enrolled here. They get to play with their child in a room away from all the others. I am not about to let them mix with kids who are not their own. That's not safe for the other kids. If they are still suspicious after they take home kids who are happy (or maybe cry because they don't want to leave!) then they can go elsewhere. I take care of children...not their parents. They can take their insecurities elsewhere.

Ah, so every web site and parenting guide is wrong that recommends that you tour during working hours so you can actually see how things are ran? But parents should sign your contracts stating that they must provide 2 or more weeks notice with pay if they choose to leave going just by what you tell them during an interview? (if there's no probationary period) Sounds like it's pretty one sided for the benefit of the provider. Your attitude is exactly why I chose center care. It doesn't matter if the kids are going to act up differently or not during the tour.

It's important that touring parents get to see things in action and to see how the provider handles things. I know if the kids were acting up and the provider loses it, I would never choose that provider, etc. I also would never choose a provider who have kids that are very aggressive either. I applaude the parent that came to the OP and asked to shadow - that is an involved, caring parent, not just a parent who is looking for just anywhere to dump their kid. (and there's plenty who just don't care where their kids go to daycare) If the provider has nothing to hide, then there's no good reason to not allow tours during certain working hours.

[Unregistered]

no I'm not

.......can't help but wonder if this is the same "unregistered" poster from the pink dress thread.

No, I'm not - haven't even read the pink dress thread. There's lots of unregistered users who post to this site. Many providers even log out to post anonymously.

[Mom_of_two]

Touring and shadowing during the day for an entire day are two different things. Also, daycare centers that allow tours have multiple employees. Usually homes are a lone female. With multiple children not her own. It is a safety issue.

I have daycare families come over after hours. After that initial meeting I have had a mom and child come back to play during daycare hours. It is very case by case for me and I must meet them all first, at a time when my husband is home and no other children are here. When my daughter was at a center it did make me anxious that other people were entering the center, but knew there were a lot of staff. I would not allow my children at a home that had any 'strangers' visiting, so won't here until after an initial meeting and definite interest.

[harperluu]

While I would never allow someone to shadow me, I do have to say, when I was pregnant with my DS (yes, a stupid first time mom) I found my daycare when I was three months pregnant. It was important to me to find a good place for my baby, and I wanted the right person. It worked out perfectly, and I can tell you, anyone who gave me the "call back in six months" bit would NOT have received a return call. Daycare is hard to find, esp. for an infant, and I think people are SMART to start early. JMO.

From the other point of view, if I have a spot for an infant now or in the next few months, would you pay to hold the spot for the next six months? That's typically why I ask them to call back closer to their due date. They want a guaranteed spot with no understanding that I may have the opportunity to fill that spot now. If the spot is still open in 4 months (which it won't be) then I'll interview. It's not being rude, it's running your business as effectively as years of experience has taught me to run my childcare business.

I totally get being prepared and allowing lots of time to find just the right person. But for me, unless the spot just happens to open up the month your returning to work, you can interview now so you can rule me out but otherwise you'll go on a waiting list or you can callback closer to your due date.

As a side note, current clients who are newly pregnant are the worst at this. I always groan (silently, in my soul) when a client with a child in care says she's 10 weeks pregnant and will I hold the spot for them. Yes, and it will cost you $5400. Or no, let's wait until we're closer to the due date. Meanwhile I'm prepared to be badgered the next 5 months as you stress out. Locked and loaded.