Anyone Asked You This Before?

[MamaBear]

I had a lady call me today asking a list of questions out of a book basically for daycare. She is pregnant and not even due until December... but she is "planning ahead" she says. Shes probably like 1 month pregnant right?

Anyway - The question that totally wierded me out was if her and her husband could come to my daycare one morning and "shadow" me through out my day!!! What the heck? I've never had anyone ask me that before.

I had already told her that I do my tours after hours or weekends so that I can actually talk to them without being interrupted by the kids AND for the safety of the kids here... so why would I let a couple just hang out here all day? Plus that is so strange. I would feel so awkward all day if I ever did that.

I would NEVER do this... And I told her no way... but has anyone else had this question asked before? SO weird to me!

[Lucy]

No, never been asked. And yes, it's very weird. First time parents think the strangest things sometimes!

I hate being watched and would never do that. I had a lady who drove a school bus, so she had a split shift. She wanted to come for the 2 hours she was off in the middle of the day and play with her kid. They didn't live close enough to go home and come back, so she wanted to do it here. I made up some excuse - can't remember what because it was about 10 yrs ago. I would feel so awkward having her here for two hours!

[nannyde]

She most likely read it in a baby book somewhere. One of the "you know your baby best and you know what's best for your baby" books.

Someone who is pregnant with their first child CAN evaluate you by shadowing you? Geesh it took me years to know what I'm doing here. How can a first time pregnant newbie Mom be able to watch me and tell whether or not I'm good... doing it right...

It's a rediculous notion. It's a parent wanting to DO parenting before the kid is even born. Day care and buying baby stuff are the only "I'm being a parent" they can do before the kid is born.

I would say "no I don't have parents coming and shadowing me but I do offere a service where I come to your house and shadow you caring for your kid. That way I'll know if your parenting style will work with my business. It's a 100 dollars a day for four hours of shadowing. Let me know when you want me to come".

When I have the pregnant moms who have been pregnant for five minutes call for day care stuff I just tell them to give me a call a month before the baby is due and we can start the process. SO much can happen between now and then... like they decide to stay home... granny steps to the plate to watch kid... next door neighbor offers near free day care.... etc. No use to get involved until the baby is close and then just to START the interview process.

Centers have a different gig so contacting them and paying for a held spot is a good idea if they are considering a center... but here... there are thousands of home child cares. No need to rush into it until it's a lot closer.

[cheerfuldom]

I would never do this and I also don't interview first time parents until they are at least beginning third trimester. Otherwise it is a waste of time. They have no idea what they are looking for and there is no way to communicate about something when they have no idea what you are talking about.

[missnikki]

This might be a new wrinkle to the old 'competition provider looking for hints' since you can't prove a new pregnancy. Just a cynical thought.

[Symphony]

I'm always the odd man out in this category! I have people observe me all the time for college courses and I host practicums and internships as well, so I certainly don't mind if a parent wants to come and watch. Especially if it's before their child is born. Doesn't bother me a bit.

[SilverSabre25]

Sounds like the type who'll be asking what curriculum you use with infants and what kinds of crafts you'll be doing with the infant...

I like the policy of not interviewing until the beginning of the third tri. That sounds good...I'll have to adopt that.

[Michelle]

This might be a new wrinkle to the old 'competition provider looking for hints' since you can't prove a new pregnancy. Just a cynical thought.

My thoughts exactly, I would never do it, buy sometimes i wonder what other providers do around here and what their set up is like.
The only info I ever get is when I'm interviewing and some parents said things like, "you have such a nice house, you wouldn't believe some of the other day cares we've seen"
So, it could be another provider or a very nervous or excited parent.

[Michelle]

She most likely read it in a baby book somewhere. One of the "you know your baby best and you know what's best for your baby" books.

Someone who is pregnant with their first child CAN evaluate you by shadowing you? Geesh it took me years to know what I'm doing here. How can a first time pregnant newbie Mom be able to watch me and tell whether or not I'm good... doing it right...

It's a rediculous notion. It's a parent wanting to DO parenting before the kid is even born. Day care and buying baby stuff are the only "I'm being a parent" they can do before the kid is born.

I would say "no I don't have parents coming and shadowing me but I do offere a service where I come to your house and shadow you caring for your kid. That way I'll know if your parenting style will work with my business. It's a 100 dollars a day for four hours of shadowing. Let me know when you want me to come".

When I have the pregnant moms who have been pregnant for five minutes call for day care stuff I just tell them to give me a call a month before the baby is due and we can start the process. SO much can happen between now and then... like they decide to stay home... granny steps to the plate to watch kid... next door neighbor offers near free day care.... etc. No use to get involved until the baby is close and then just to START the interview process.

Centers have a different gig so contacting them and paying for a held spot is a good idea if they are considering a center... but here... there are thousands of home child cares. No need to rush into it until it's a lot closer.

::::::::::
Love this!!

[Meeko]

It's because so many of the "expert advice" books/pamphlets etc tell parents how paranoid they need to be and that they need to shadow the provider/drop in at all times of the day etc.

I have had parents ask to come and hang out for half a day or so and I always refuse.

I point out to them that anyone being watched is going to be on their best behavior. So they they will NEVER get a true idea of what that provider will be like with their child. Bad providers are not going to treat the child badly in front of the parent! Good providers just feel awkward having someone stare at them! It's a lose/lose situation.

I don't mind (in fact I like it) jumping up and down and teaching the kids silly songs and dance moves. But I would feel like a right idiot doing in front of strange adults.

And I am quite sure that my normally well behaved children would turn into little monsters as they try and get the attention of the adults in the room and push every boundary known to man. That's normal toddler behavior...but I don't want to deal with it!!

I give out a long list of references. Both past and present clients. I tell them to call every single one and ask THEM lots of questions. Let them tell how their children come home happy. Let THEM say how comfortable they feel leaving their child with me. That's a much truer guide to follow than shadowing someone all day!

I am quite sure that if they were followed all day at work...they would hate it. Doesn't mean they don't do a good job......it's just horrible to stared at.

I once had a couple come for interview. It was their first baby. The mom was as stuck up as she could be. Asked me to explain to her if I knew how to feed a newborn/burp a baby etc. I have 4 kids of my own and have done day care since SHE was in diapers! But I just bit my tongue and smiled.

She called me the next day and said "I have decided to employ you. I just want you to know that I will be dropping by a lot to observe you with my son."

I told her that first off....nobody employs me. I am my own boss. Then I told her that I have 3 people wanting the spot and I would decide which one I wanted to take by Friday. Never did call her back!

[nannyde]

This might be a new wrinkle to the old 'competition provider looking for hints' since you can't prove a new pregnancy. Just a cynical thought.

didn't think of that

[wdmmom]

I've had a lot of far fetched requests and I've never once permitted "shadowing".


I've had people contact me that were only a few weeks pregnant too. I tell them right off the bat that I don't know whether I will have an opening in a year or not. Why don't you give me a call when you are about 7-8 months along or you can provide security deposit and pay $50 a week holding fee. That usually changes their tune. I don't know how ANY provider can say one way or another whether they WILL or WON'T have an opening in a YEAR! Silly parents!

Not to mention the possibilities that could happen:

Grandma retires, mom decides to quit or work from home, family member or neighbor offers to watch the child, miscarriage, disabilities...etc. No one wants to think of the awful things that could happen but they happen everyday.

I always suggest to interested clients to contact me no earlier than than the beginning of their 3rd trimester.

[momma2girls]

SOme parents act so stupid about some things!!
I once was asked "Now what will my baby be doing when you are fixing dinner for everyone else?" Hello- I wanted to tell her, what do you do with him, while you are fixing supper??????
There has been numerous questions and comments along the yrs. I just can't remember them all- !!
I had a fill in Mom give me a 4 page note on everything she wants for her child- OMG!!!
I couldn't believe it!!
"Make sure and bicycle her legs" :Make sure and change her or at least check on her diaper every hr. and don't forget those pesky cracks???" I almost died!!!!!

[Live and Learn]

Uh, no thanks!

If I could get away with it I like NannyD's idea of offering to shadow the mom for a fee!!!::

[Live and Learn]

SOme parents act so stupid about some things!!
I once was asked "Now what will my baby be doing when you are fixing dinner for everyone else?" Hello- I wanted to tell her, what do you do with him, while you are fixing supper??????
There has been numerous questions and comments along the yrs. I just can't remember them all- !!
I had a fill in Mom give me a 4 page note on everything she wants for her child- OMG!!!
I couldn't believe it!!
"Make sure and bicycle her legs" :Make sure and change her or at least check on her diaper every hr. and don't forget those pesky cracks???" I almost died!!!!!

I had a first time Mom do this too.