Anyone Asked You This Before?

[WDW]

While I would never allow someone to shadow me, I do have to say, when I was pregnant with my DS (yes, a stupid first time mom) I found my daycare when I was three months pregnant. It was important to me to find a good place for my baby, and I wanted the right person. It worked out perfectly, and I can tell you, anyone who gave me the "call back in six months" bit would NOT have received a return call. Daycare is hard to find, esp. for an infant, and I think people are SMART to start early. JMO.

[MarinaVanessa]

I once was asked "Now what will my baby be doing when you are fixing dinner for everyone else?" Hello- I wanted to tell her, what do you do with him, while you are fixing supper??????

This sounds like something that I would say :: but I would ask her with a serious face and then after hearing her response would just say "Oh that sounds great, I could do that too" just to get on to the next question

[Symphony]

While I would never allow someone to shadow me, I do have to say, when I was pregnant with my DS (yes, a stupid first time mom) I found my daycare when I was three months pregnant. It was important to me to find a good place for my baby, and I wanted the right person. It worked out perfectly, and I can tell you, anyone who gave me the "call back in six months" bit would NOT have received a return call. Daycare is hard to find, esp. for an infant, and I think people are SMART to start early. JMO.

I agree. I know it is harder with home daycare because we are filling a spot, have holding fees, etc. With centers though if you don't secure a spot at 6 weeks pregnant, you aren't going to get one.

[Unregistered]

open door policy

What these parents are fishing for is your open door policy. Clearly you don't have one and any responsible parent isn't going to choose a provider who they can't tour during your working hours and actually view how you work with the children. If you read every piece of recommend strategies in finding care online, every single one of them recommends to stay away from providers like you who don't have open door policies. Sorry, you may not agree, but it's true.

[MamaBear]

I dont mind...

I dont mind the mom to be calling me so early with her questions... and wouldnt mind doing a tour so she can see it. But no way on the shadowing. You should have heard her list of questions she had for me. It was like she was reading from a book. It was pretty funny

[MG&Lsmom]

I dont mind the mom to be calling me so early with her questions... and wouldnt mind doing a tour so she can see it. But no way on the shadowing. You should have heard her list of questions she had for me. It was like she was reading from a book. It was pretty funny

It really is from a book. Or a parenting.com list of questions to ask your dcp. I can't remember where I saw it, but I saw it somewhere. Most of the questions were ridiculous to ask. I won't take first timers either anymore.

I have a problem with shadowing all day, but I can't see how coming in after an initial interview to observe free play or lunch or whatever for 30 mins to an hour would be horrible. I have nothing to hide. No I don't like being watched, but I was a public school teacher for 7 years and was observed by the administrators often. I don't see it as any different.

[cheerfuldom]

I always have to laugh at the parents who ask "what will my baby be doing here all day"....ummmm....what they do at home. Pooping, sleeping, eating, staring at a random toy. Do they really think baby is going to be a totally different person at daycare?

[nannyde]

It really is from a book. Or a parenting.com list of questions to ask your dcp. I can't remember where I saw it, but I saw it somewhere. Most of the questions were ridiculous to ask. I won't take first timers either anymore.

I have a problem with shadowing all day, but I can't see how coming in after an initial interview to observe free play or lunch or whatever for 30 mins to an hour would be horrible. I have nothing to hide. No I don't like being watched, but I was a public school teacher for 7 years and was observed by the administrators often. I don't see it as any different.

was observed by the administrators often. I don't see it as any different

The administrators aren't paying you out of their pocket and you aren't taking care of their kid. They aren't a fourth of your salary.

The administrators have an EDUCATION and training to evaluate you. They have actually done the job they are evaluating.

The administrators don't think that any one of your classroom kids are special and gifted and want to make sure THEY get....

Big big big difference than a person who had sex and conceived and carried a baby for a month coming to evaluate a child care provider.

[AnythingsPossible]

The thing I find with parent's wanting to come and observe, is that what they are observing isn't what truly happens here. The kids act different, I act different, as I am trying to entertain them and watch the kiddo's. I can't imagine having someone come to observe and ignoring them the whole time so that I can truly do what I do. When someone is here, it is a totally different environment.

[cheerfuldom]

exactly! the administrators know (or should know) what constitutes as a good standard of care for students. Totally different from the average parent coming in and having opinions on everything. Parents have commented on tons of things for me, down to whether I should wear makeup during daycare hours. They will have opinions on how you take care of your home (outside of daycare area), how you care for the other kids (not their kid) and a million other things that they are not an expert on nor is it any of their business. I would never ever do this to myself. I do let parents of current children come and hang out on occasion but comments outside of the care for their specific child are not allowed.

[SilverSabre25]

What these parents are fishing for is your open door policy. Clearly you don't have one and any responsible parent isn't going to choose a provider who they can't tour during your working hours and actually view how you work with the children. If you read every piece of recommend strategies in finding care online, every single one of them recommends to stay away from providers like you who don't have open door policies. Sorry, you may not agree, but it's true.

Open Door Policy: You can come ANY time while your child is in my care.

This does not extend to strangers off the street. This does not extend to people who don't even HAVE a child yet. This extends ONLY to parents whose child is in my care at any given moment. It also does not give parents whose children I watch the right to come to my house any time they want...they are only permitted any time I have their child.

[Meeko]

What these parents are fishing for is your open door policy. Clearly you don't have one and any responsible parent isn't going to choose a provider who they can't tour during your working hours and actually view how you work with the children. If you read every piece of recommend strategies in finding care online, every single one of them recommends to stay away from providers like you who don't have open door policies. Sorry, you may not agree, but it's true.

And all the "info" no doubt comes from people who have never actually worked in child care! Too much info from the likes of Dr. Spock telling them how to raise well balanced kids (his own son committed suicide by the way)

So let's just say a provider lets parents follow her around all day. They will see her being the very best Mary Poppins ever and will be so excited to have their child go there!!! They have NO WAY of knowing that Mary Poppins is actually a witch and that their baby is going to be treated badly when Mommy and Daddy are not around to see it. It's a complete waste of time.

ANYONE...regardless of their job...is going to put on their best front on when being closely watched. It's human nature. It is NOT a good way to ensure you are finding good care. Talk to the provider and ask for references. LOTS of them. Past and present clients. In fact the provider should give them without being asked. Call licensing and ask about their record. Don't expect to get any idea of how good your child care provider is just by watching them.

Chances are you might see a flustered and embarrassed woman who's day care kids are deliberately breaking all the rules because they see strangers. You could witness complete chaos. Under normal circumstances she may run a very orderly ship. Again...not a true picture of the provider.

Peering over someone's shoulder is no way to start a relationship with someone who will be important to your child. It SCREAMS "I don't trust you".

I am open and honest with my day care parents. They can ask questions. They can ask other parents. But they can't be in my face while I do my job.

I don't take any parents who tell me that they will be popping in all the time to "observe" me. They might as well say "I don't trust you and so I am going to check up on you every chance I get" Great relationship

Parents are welcome to come visit their own child once enrolled here. They get to play with their child in a room away from all the others. I am not about to let them mix with kids who are not their own. That's not safe for the other kids. If they are still suspicious after they take home kids who are happy (or maybe cry because they don't want to leave!) then they can go elsewhere. I take care of children...not their parents. They can take their insecurities elsewhere.

[Meeko]

Open Door Policy: You can come ANY time while your child is in my care.

This does not extend to strangers off the street. This does not extend to people who don't even HAVE a child yet. This extends ONLY to parents whose child is in my care at any given moment. It also does not give parents whose children I watch the right to come to my house any time they want...they are only permitted any time I have their child.

Ditto

[nannyde]

What these parents are fishing for is your open door policy. Clearly you don't have one and any responsible parent isn't going to choose a provider who they can't tour during your working hours and actually view how you work with the children. If you read every piece of recommend strategies in finding care online, every single one of them recommends to stay away from providers like you who don't have open door policies. Sorry, you may not agree, but it's true.

Yup and every single one of them doesn't address the DCD who sneaks in and watches a woman alone with kids ..for an unknown amount of time... and just appears out of nowhere because he CAN cuz the books said that's HIS baby and when his baby is in the house he should be able to come in whenever he wants... however he wants... as often as he wants... doing whatever he wants.

[Meeko]

Yup and every single one of them doesn't address the DCD who sneaks in and watches a woman alone with kids ..for an unknown amount of time... and just appears out of nowhere because he CAN cuz the books said that's HIS baby and when his baby is in the house he should be able to come in whenever he wants... however he wants... as often as he wants... doing whatever he wants.

I know....it's quite terrifying when you think about it.

According to the "experts" (haha!) ....creepy DCD should be able to sit down and stare at alone DCP all day. He should be able to look her up and down to his hearts content....because his child is there.

I learned the hard way a few years back when a DCD would come almost daily to "visit his daughter". He gave us the creeps and I did some investigating on my own........Turns out he was a convicted child rapist and was loving having little girls all around him.

NEVER AGAIN.

Now parents can come by...but they spend the time in another room with their child. I would still be wary of that if I was a woman alone in the house. I have my adult son working with me and he could snap any of our current dads like a toothpick....but most providers are alone. Since when is is ever a safe thing for a woman to be alone in a house with a man she doesn't know well? having the children around does not make her safer. In fact it makes her more vunerable as she is worried about their care and safety.