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I guess I have no opinion on this since my own kids are grown and I haven't had any issues even remotely similar in child care but just out of curiosity, I asked one of my dcm's who is a Kindergarten teacher and she said if a child came to school and told her they bathed with a parnet of the opposite sex, she would immediately call CPS.....she said it is on the list of things they are suppose to report. So I don't know if it is a rule for just here or everywhere...but that was the response I got from a Kindergarten teacher.
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That's exactly what I was wondering (although I sure did go about it in a round-about way :
. I would hate for a close friend to be investigated for something completely innocent, when I could have warned her that something she was doing might be seen as reportable, kwim?
One more question for everyone: would it be okay for a child who normally bathes with his/her mother, to also bathe with his/her step dad or with mom's boyfriend (or girlfriend, just to be pc)?Comment
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Still, I'd say it's a family comfort thing, but a child of ANY age bathing with someone not blood related (same OR opposite gender) would skeeve me out a lot more than doing the same with a biological parent (unless the non-bio adult had raised the child from infancy/been a stable part of child's life from infancy).
Wait...was that confusing?Hee hee! Look, I have a signature!Comment
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i know what you're saying...like a stepdad and stepson might seem weird, unless stepdad has been "dad" to the kid since they were like...6 months old or something....right?Comment
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I think that if I had the past experience you have had with a parent I would be very cautious too with anything that has to do with body, nude, or anything of nature that could lead or looked as abuse . I was not trying to be rude in my earlier post at all, I just wanted to let you know that I think once the child wants privacy for showering, taking baths together it should stop. My girls wanted this around the time they went to school, I will still go in and wash their hair out and make the soap is all out, but my oldest likes to lock the door and sing in the shower, then take her time getting out and putting lotion on she even wanted the Girls secret anti-persperant the other day shes growing up and
I take my cues from that when mom needs to step back
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I think there is no "age limit". I think that it is when either child or parent is uncomfortable with it. For instance, last summer when we were camping, my daughter who is 11 and I showered together in the shower house. There were only 2 stalls and a waiting line to shower. I actually took that time to show her how to shave her legs, and it was a nice mom/daughter moment. It wasn't about nakedness. My kids all still come into the bathroom while I bathe to tell me something or ask me for something. They know that when they go to the bathroom they close the door, they change clothes in the privacy of their rooms when there are people other than our family in the house (this mostly goes for our 4 year old). I think to each their own. It doesn't matter to me if my neighbor showers with their 5 year old, as long as the 5 year old is fine with it. Or their 7 or 8 year old. Whatever!Comment
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i never bathed with my kids after they were around 1 just because i rarely take baths and when i did take a bath it was to get in, do what i needed to do, and get out. they would also want out right when i got out which was annoying bc the plan was for them to play while i got dried/clothed. it just wasn't something i enjoyed.
my husband did take baths with our son (never our daughter) until he was early 3's. he was just saying a few nights ago (we were watching predator RAW) that our son asks him to take a bath with him sometimes and he "can't" because of sick people like THAT. he just doesn't want to put himself in a position that someone could look at as "inappropriate" which is why he doesn't bathe with our son anymore and never bathed with our daughter.Comment
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I guess everyone is different from mine. I grew up with my mom who are very open mind to show naked when she gets out of shower and I also grew up with my step dad who always sleep in with underwear. EWWW! When I was 7 years old and my sister was 3 years old that we took a shower with my step dad (my sister's real father) that we have hurry up for some reason. I hate it, it is disgusting!
Now I have two daughters and I used to take a shower with my girls up to 20 months old. They are not allowed to take a shower with me or see me naked at all after 20 months old. Sorry I am not comfortable at all. My husband and I took our first daughter when she was 2 months old shower together once. My husband is not comfortable and he decided he will never take a shower with our daughters. I am totally different from my parents. Now my parents are not doing it anymore since all of us got married and have children. Both of my daughters are not taking a bath together when they were 4 an 5 years old. If I have a son and I would never take a shower with him if he is become a year old. Sorry it is my thing...Comment
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Had to log out to post this LOL
My daughter got kicked out of her dad's shower at about 20 months. When she reached up and grabbed and yanked LOL! Dad yelled very loudly, "come get this girl!" That was the last shower she took with her Dad!Comment
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i'm just curious as to why "20 months" - it's such an odd number? why did you decide 20 months?
even though our kids don't bathe with us, they still bathe together and they are opposite sex. i told them they needed to stop bathing together because my oldest is 6, almost 7 - but my son would just sneak in and get in there with her because they wanted to play! nothing sexual about it. i haven't gotten too serious about it because the purpose of splitting them up to bathe is kind of defeated when one of them comes running through the house butt naked - even right after they get out of the shower. i think pretty soon my daughter will stop allowing him in the tub with her but as long as they're both fine with it and there's no "experimenting" going on - i don't have an issue.Comment
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bathe with whoever you want
For my nationality and customs, it custom to take sauna bathes with your entire family naked because you can't take an effective bath with a swim suit on. It's the way it's been done since the beginning of time. So I don't think anything of having to bathe with my preschooler in a time crunch, since it's quicker for me to wash him than to run a seperate bath and then wash him. Bathing is largely based on customs and culture, etc. and better to be discussed privately with the parents before even considering reporting them.Comment
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I know my last bath with my dad was when I was 2...I have no memory of this but my mom told me that right around my 2nd birthday, i was in the tub with dad and I started asking questions...he yelled for my mom to come get me out of the tub NOW!! My last shower with mom was when I was about 6...and not to be mean or anything but it was because my mom was a bit....er....chubby let's say...and there wasn't room for 2 anymore
I grew up in a very religious household where we were taught to keep our bodies covered, we never saw dad naked, not even in undies...ever to my knowledge...but i think that was because we were girls...
Now in my household, I'm the only girl so I"m the most private, I always close the door to use the bathroom, shower, get dressed, etc...I do sleep in undies and a tank top on the weekends but I'm up hours before my oldest son and I put on pj bottoms before getting the baby out of the crib in the morning....my husband sleeps butt nekkid or in undies at the most, and he's less guarded about being seen naked...i guess because they all have the same equipment? Who knowsComment
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I'm a Finlander through and through....My grandmother came to the U.S from Finland when she was a young adult. We took saunas naked together from birth to elderly but only with same sex relatives/family members. We also used saunas as a relaxation/recreation thing to open our pores and cleanse our skin, not necessarily as our bath/shower to get clean since it is so sweaty and I doubt one feels clean after sweating so much....LOL!
I do think how families each bathe is a cultural thing and I guess is left to each family to decide what works for them and what doesn't.Comment
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Me too. My dad always had on shorts or pants. I never remember seeing him in his boxers. My DH wore the tightie whities when I married him. I made him were the comical boxers over those around our girls. It didn't bother him to be in tightie whites, but I thought it would be less embarassing for the girls as they got older.Comment
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