Opinions on Parents & Kids Bathing Together?

[PeanutsGalore]

To answer your question about what age it becomes inappropriate enough for you to report: when the child in question is in raging puberty but still showering with either parent. I say raging puberty because some kids start showing signs of puberty very early on but are still young enough to want to shower or bathe with you--or have you sit in the bathroom with them to keep them company while they take a relaxing bubble bath. Even then, it might come down to significant cultural differences and different levels of comfort with the topic. If you're taking care of little ones and there are no signs of abuse, then I'd leave it alone. It's not your business.

I wish I could remember the culture, but I read an article about a people who actually build huts for their daughters when they hit puberty. The purpose of the hut is to allow the girl to bring boys home for sexual activity and experimentation. In their culture, it actually empowers the girls, helps them fit in better socially, and allows them a better opportunity to choose a mate for marriage.

It's an idea that would probably horrify many parents in our country, but that doesn't give us the right to judge another culture for how they do things.

This is kind of the same thing.

[Unregistered]

Bathing

For myself, I stopped bathing with my daughter when she was old enough to sit in the tub without me actually being in the tub with her. I never left the bathroom or anything like that, I just wasn't in the tub with her, just beside it. My husband never bathed with her. He felt really uncomfortable with it so he just didn't do it. The biggest reason that I hated doing it is because bath time for me is supposed to be relaxation time and how can I relax with my kid in the tub with me, throwing water on me and basically just wanting to play!

[safechner]

i'm just curious as to why "20 months" - it's such an odd number? why did you decide 20 months?

even though our kids don't bathe with us, they still bathe together and they are opposite sex. i told them they needed to stop bathing together because my oldest is 6, almost 7 - but my son would just sneak in and get in there with her because they wanted to play! nothing sexual about it. i haven't gotten too serious about it because the purpose of splitting them up to bathe is kind of defeated when one of them comes running through the house butt naked - even right after they get out of the shower. i think pretty soon my daughter will stop allowing him in the tub with her but as long as they're both fine with it and there's no "experimenting" going on - i don't have an issue.

That is when I stopped breastfeeding. I am sure there is nothing wrong with it but it is just my thing since I wasn't comfortable to see my parents when I grew up. I do not want to do that to my kids. I also refused to have s** with my husband until they are sleeping. We never do that front of them because I have seen my parents many time and it is so gross.

[Jewels]

That is when I stopped breastfeeding. I am sure there is nothing wrong with it but it is just my thing since I wasn't comfortable to see my parents when I grew up. I do not want to do that to my kids. I also refused to have s** with my husband until they are sleeping. We never do that front of them because I have seen my parents many time and it is so gross.

Well I would hope no parents have se...x in front of their kids, I'm all for bathing but thats a bit different.

[daycare]

I think that it has to do with each child and their interest level. I stopped at age 2 when all the questions started..... same with my older kids.

[allstetic2]

child and parent bathing

Every family is different, I personally bathed with my daughter until she was 5 but she also bathed with her father in their swim suits. I would think kids at that age are already asking questions about their bodies and our adult bodies and think over 5 is time to let them grow and bath alone. Although I don't think it is worth reporting unless there are signs of abuse or if the child has told you they have been touched inappropriately. Good Luck

[SimpleMom]

I bathe with my kids on occassion. All the time when they are babies. Occassionally until they are in grade school. The older they get, the less it's together.

I would be concerned if the child was, say, 12 and it was the oppposite sex. For sure if it's the opposite sex and the child is over 5. IF the child mentions and inappropriate type of touch then certainly that's cause for concern.

[Candyland]

I also refused to have s** with my husband until they are sleeping. We never do that front of them because I have seen my parents many time and it is so gross.

oh wow; that's terrible!! And just not right!

[PitterPatter]

I never bathed with my son but I have held him in the shower when he was a baby but I wore a t-shirt for 2 reasons. 1 afraid he would slip and 2 I just didn't feel right. I know it's just me but I have issues due to childhood memories of inapropriate touching so that's me and just the way I am. I couldn't even breastfeed my child because of the issue/memories. As for other adults bathing with their babies I think it's ok. As for kids bathing with kids I think it's fine for kids to bathe together from babies to preschoolers as long as they don't have a problem with it. If they are shy or uncomfortable then they shouldn't bathe with another child.

Children are learning much more and SEEING much more at earlier ages and I am just cautious of how certain situations are handled. A few years ago I had 6 yr old neighbor telling the other kids about his Dad's X video and what he saw people doing!! I flipped out and my son was not allowed to be around him unless they were right with me and even then I hung on every word. Luckily he moved soon after. Ya just never know how much a kids knows and what they will teach or do to others. Sad but true.

[mismatchedsocks]

I didnt read through all the comments. But up until age 1 or 2, I took a bath with both of my kids, BUT i wore a bathing suit. The bath wasnt to get me clean, since I dont think I can get fully clean in a tub, so then I would get child wiped up and set up and then shower myself. Usually its to make bath fun, or to hold them up. But my kids did bathe together until about age 6 for son and 2 for daughter.

I think being naked with them in the bath is not really appropriate, but I think age 1 shoudl be the cut off?? Not really sure about that since each family is different and each bond is different.

[sharlan]

I think it all depends on the family and their comfort level. What is right for you is not right for anyone else.

I take showers with all of my grandkids (15 yo girl, 5 yo girl, 4 yo boy, and 3 yo boy). I should rephrase that, they all take showers with me. I can be in the shower alone and end up with 2 or 3 kids before I'm done. I showered with the eldest when we went camping a few weeks ago as only one shower was working. It will stop when they become uncomfortable with it.

4 yo showers with his dad every night. Sometimes on the weekend he'll shower with his big sissy. Once she becomes uncomfortable with it, he'll stop. 15 yo showers with her mom on the weekends when they're in a hurry.

3 and 5 yo still shower with their dad several times a week. On the weekends, all 4 will shower together if they're in a hurry.

I had a gf that was so self conscious that she showered and only changed clothes in a locked bathroom. Her dh of 6 yrs had never seen her totally naked. He had never seen her change her clothes.

[WImom]

We've never bathed with our children since I find that weird. My girls (ages 8 and 6) still take a shower together. (They soap themselves and I spray them off to make sure all the shampoo is out). They sometimes take showers by themselves too. Just depends on the amount of time we have that night.

[littlemissmuffet]

I see nothing wrong with bathing with your children, regardless of what sex the parent or the child is. I bathed/showered with both of my parents, and often with my siblings and cousins when I was growing up. As an adult I bathed with my nieces and nephews (who are like my own) up until age 5. We're a family that's very comfortable with our bodies, nudity, teaching about appropriate beahviours/inappropriate behaviours and not sexualizing things that need not be sexualized.

[Lucy]

I would stop once they turn 2. Even earlier if it's a girl with dad. Somehow a boy with mom might be able to continue slightly longer than a girl with dad. Hypocritical? Maybe. Not sure why I see it that way, but I do.

What it really boils down to is whatever is comfortable for YOUR family. My opinion above only works for me, and might be totally different for you. Live and let live.

[Springdaze]

i dont take baths with my kids and never really did because I was afraid they would, you know, go potty! My son and daughter still take baths together sometimes. they should probably stop soon, as my dd is 8 and ds is 5, but they dont reference parts, so i let them. I am careful to make sure that my dd is properly dressed when her father is around. She needs to learn to be modest around ANY males.