Dropping Off During Bus Stop Time

[amberrose3dg]

You're so right. Time to put my girl pants on... I think I'll just text both of them. I just feel stupid because I've let it go on so long that springing termination on them seems harsh.

How many times have you asked him to not drop off at that time? It isn't springing it on them if it continues to happen. I would so he knows how serious you are.

[Cat Herder]

You're so right. Time to put my girl pants on... I think I'll just text both of them. I just feel stupid because I've let it go on so long that springing termination on them seems harsh.

Really?

How many warnings have they had, already? This can hardly be a surprise to him.

[lovemykidstoo]

You're so right. Time to put my girl pants on... I think I'll just text both of them. I just feel stupid because I've let it go on so long that springing termination on them seems harsh.

There's nothing wrong with saying that you've allowed it for so long but it has to stop now. A child could die. Whether he's pulling in or leaving, both equally dangerous. For me, I wouldn't say anything about terminating in this text, but I would say that it absolutely will not be allowed again and that you're firm with it. Put your most solid foot down to both of them. Then if he does do it again, i would say that there will not be 1 other time without termination. I have a feeling by texting both of them, that his wife will put her foot down too. Hoping anyway. That is a dangerous situation.

I had a dcd that would whip his big truck in my driveway when I was out there playing with the kids. I got pissed and told him that hey we're in the driveway playing, please do not pull in here. Then I put my safety cones out to be sure he didn't. I dont' use the safety cones anymore and he doesn't pull in anymore either.

[Pestle]

This sounds mean, but you need to ask yourself: are you capable of keeping the children in your care safe? Because right now, you are telling us that you are not capable of doing it.

[redmaple]

It is not harsh to issue an immediate termination warning for repeated blatant disrespect for you, and for endangering the children in your care.

[e.j.]

I have asked parents to not drop off between 8 and 8:15 because the bus stop is in my driveway. I stay inside with the littler kids during this time, but keep watch on the bus stop through my front window. The first day of school, a dcd dropped off during this time even though he normally came around 7:50. He said he was sorry and knew the rule but was running late. I thought he would get what my issue was after that as it was very chaotic and I explained again why it can't happen that day before he left. Almost every day since, he continues to drop off right in the middle of bus stop time. He pulls right in even when kids are standing in my driveway. Since I'm inside, I can't stop him from pulling in or deny him entry. I tried blocking my driveway but then he just parks on the private drive next to my house which irritates my neighbors. He knows I'm irked and says sorry everytime but doesn't stop. I feel like there is nothing I can do because I've allowed it for months by this point. Every time I get the nerve up to say something I second guess myself thinking it will sound too rude. I know he's being rude too. Does anyone have a polite way to stop this? It's so unsafe.

Guys, I did it again. Today was his first day back since break. He wasn't supposed to come today but dcm texted this morning asking if I could take him. I texted sure, just make sure to avoid the 8-8:15 time for the bus stop and she said "of course!" sure enough, dcd pulls in at 8:09. And I said nothing. Nothing! Totally chickened out. I had my kids standing in the snow off to the side. I totally **** at this. I know there is no advice you can give me and I just have to do it. I just hate it.

You've repeatedly told him not to come as bus time, he continues to thumb his nose at you and you're worried about appearing harsh? I say this with tremendous empathy because I'm the biggest wuss there is but even I wouldn't have a problem terming him immediately never mind giving him a warning and one last chance. He's behaving like a 2 year old! He's lucky you didn't term him on the spot this morning.

[Pestle]

He may be lucky, but the children he is endangering are not lucky until their care provider stands up for them

[lovemykidstoo]

So are you going to talk to him at pickup today?

[MyAngels]

You're so right. Time to put my girl pants on... I think I'll just text both of them. I just feel stupid because I've let it go on so long that springing termination on them seems harsh.

I don't think this needs to be as difficult as you may think. Personally, I wouldn't handle this by text, but with a simple face-to-face conversation. Unless the guy is a complete jerk he's going to comply with what you're asking. A frank conversation reiterating what you've asked them to do and why should be all it takes. It's not about rules (or breaking them), appearing harsh, or anything else. It's simply about the safety of all of the children in your care.

"Jim there's something we need to discuss, and I need your help here. I've asked you quite a few times not to drop off during the bus pickup time, and here's the reason why: It's not safe for the kids. We can't have vehicles pulling in and out of the drive while the children are out there. It only takes one mistake, one wrong move, and one of these precious little ones could be hurt, or worse, killed. You wouldn't want that to happen would you? Of course not, and I don't either. That's why I've asked that you not drop between 8 and 8:15. I'm sure you've not considered the safety side of this and that's why you've ignored the rule so far, but honestly, now that we've discussed this, I see no reason that you would want to continue to drop off during this time, and from here on out you need to drop off either before we go out or after we come back in. Can I count on you to put the safety of the children first going forward?"

Simple, really. Have the talk with both of them if necessary.

[Indoorvoice]

So I just have to say that I appreciate everyone's concern with this and trying to put it into perspective for me. You're right that at this point it isn't about me or my inability to feel any sort of discomfort, but for the safety of my kids. Luckily, my neighbor also solidified it for me this afternoon when she texted me at nap today. She was home when she sent her daughter over to my bus stop and witnessed him pull in and then out again while her child was out there. Granted, they were in the yard (in the snow) but it takes a second for one of them to make the decision not to stay there. She wrote me an angry text and asked me to take care of it. So there is my reason right there. I wrote a message to both parents this afternoon explaining my neighbor's and my concern and told them that I know that I have been lax in this, but moving forward I have to be more strict and dcm responded. Now at least I have the rule in place again and can go from there. I actually do appreciate your bluntness and am glad that you guys don't think this is a silly rule. I can't control where the bus stop is located, and while it's my house, I have to ensure safety.

[lovemykidstoo]

So I just have to say that I appreciate everyone's concern with this and trying to put it into perspective for me. You're right that at this point it isn't about me or my inability to feel any sort of discomfort, but for the safety of my kids. Luckily, my neighbor also solidified it for me this afternoon when she texted me at nap today. She was home when she sent her daughter over to my bus stop and witnessed him pull in and then out again while her child was out there. Granted, they were in the yard (in the snow) but it takes a second for one of them to make the decision not to stay there. She wrote me an angry text and asked me to take care of it. So there is my reason right there. I wrote a message to both parents this afternoon explaining my neighbor's and my concern and told them that I know that I have been lax in this, but moving forward I have to be more strict and dcm responded. Now at least I have the rule in place again and can go from there. I actually do appreciate your bluntness and am glad that you guys don't think this is a silly rule. I can't control where the bus stop is located, and while it's my house, I have to ensure safety.

Good for you! Glad you contacted them. That probably makes you feel better. So the kids stand in your driveway, but if someone comes they go in the snow? That is really rude and inconsiderate of your dcd to do that. He sounds like a real jerk honestly. I would be ticked if I was your neighbor too and had a child out there. There is no reason he can't abide by your rule.

[MarinaVanessa]

I've been following your story even though I didn't reply and I just want to say GOOD FOR YOU! Do you feel any better? I sure hope so. And I really hope that you say something to him if he does it again the next time he arrives.

Maybe have something already prepared that you can rehearse just in case he does it again? Having something prepared can sometimes make it less stressful.

"Frank, I know I mentioned this to you guys several times and I thought I had made it clear that it could not continue anymore. I don't want to have to choose between keeping my neighbors and my school age clients happy or your family." You may never have to use your speech but if you do you'll be prepared

[Tin Blues]

Going forward, realize the more you use your backbone, the easier it gets. It’s your business. When something doesn’t work for you, speak up. If a family balks, you didn’t need or want them anyway.

[LysesKids]

I have asked parents to not drop off between 8 and 8:15 because the bus stop is in my driveway. I stay inside with the littler kids during this time, but keep watch on the bus stop through my front window. The first day of school, a dcd dropped off during this time even though he normally came around 7:50. He said he was sorry and knew the rule but was running late. I thought he would get what my issue was after that as it was very chaotic and I explained again why it can't happen that day before he left. Almost every day since, he continues to drop off right in the middle of bus stop time. He pulls right in even when kids are standing in my driveway. Since I'm inside, I can't stop him from pulling in or deny him entry. I tried blocking my driveway but then he just parks on the private drive next to my house which irritates my neighbors. He knows I'm irked and says sorry everytime but doesn't stop. I feel like there is nothing I can do because I've allowed it for months by this point. Every time I get the nerve up to say something I second guess myself thinking it will sound too rude. I know he's being rude too. Does anyone have a polite way to stop this? It's so unsafe.

I've been watching the thread & glad you finally contacted parents & set a rule; should add, if I was a client of yours & found out some of the info, I would have pulled my child, because for a long time it was more about you worrying about hurting a parents feelings over protecting the children - that is priority in this business.

I did daycare for 18 years until my health made me quit this year, however, my own kids were in childcare for years before that and the minute I thought the provider wasn't doing her job (in one case my youngest was injured and could have died due to the providers negligence), I termed immediately and moved on to someone I could trust.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but you also have to think about what kind of reputation you might be getting for being a softy, because words travel thru families. Next time the J***A** pulls the driveway stunt, terminate... you need that backbone honey, start using it

[lovemykidstoo]

Just was wondering how you were doing with this since you texted them. Did they respect your request?