Owner's Son Changing Diapers

[hwichlaz]

I totally get that it was surprising, and should have been mentioned up front. My clients all know that this is a family run business. Just as my kids would be flipping burgers if I owned a burger stand. my 8 year old doesn't change diapers, , but she does feed and burp babies. and at some point, I'm sure she'll start changing diapers.

[DadBod]

My Mom ran a home daycare when I was 10-16 and I helped out. I don't remember if I changed diapers then (mid-late 80's). I know I changed diapers at 16 assisting in a 2 year old classroom in the daycare center she opened. Check with your local licensing for what the assistant requirements are. In IL you have to be 14 & 5 years older than the oldest enrolled child. I could easily see a situation where the provider asked if their child could "help out" at that age and a rep saying "sure" thinking they were talking about reading, passing out food, etc. and not considering diapering. If it's against regs they shouldn't be doing it period. If it complies with regulations they aren't doing anything wrong.

As to your question- I do think at least part of this biased based on you raising things such as hormones/ curiosity/ etc. This is family business including a husband and another man who I'm assuming helped when he was younger. There's a good chance they've experienced some pretty sexist/ discriminatory crap in that time. All in the name of "concerns", "protection", "it's a difficult situation" or other bs. Lord knows I've dealt with it from parents and other child care professionals my whole career. So they are probably not going to put up with any type of implication. Don't be surprised if when you go anywhere near what your are implying they tell to get out of their house and never come back.

Hi Dave, although I have my concerns with the current situation with my daycare, as a guy myself, I have no issues about men working in childcare.

[DaveA]

Hi Dave, although I have my concerns with the current situation with my daycare, as a guy myself, I have no issues about men working in childcare.

And this young man is learning the industry in a similar fashion to how I did. I wish him the best of luck if he decides to stay in this field and is good at it. As long as your provider is not violating licensing regulations I hope y'all have a long and mutually enjoyable professional relationship. happyfacehappyfacehappyfacehappyfacehappyface

[DaveA]

You're really going to pull the sexism card? In a field that is predominantly women and paid lower wage than fields that are predominantly men? Really, Dave? I'm not going to cow toe to you like everyone else does.

I'm happy to have brightened your day. Bless your heart.

[DadBod]

I did talk with the owner and although she was noticeably agitated, she did agree that only the adults would change my daughter.

[Unregistered]

I'm happy to have brightened your day. Bless your heart.

Dave, you're a terrible person. I'm holding back, so this doesn't get deleted.

The real sexism women face isn't funny. You don't have to tell people what you do for a living. You made a choice to do this job. We didn't choose to be born women. You don't know what it's like to be afraid when you go somewhere alone or new.

It must be nice to be in a field that is predominantly the opposite sex and be welcomed so warmly here. Every flaw is sexism. Must be nice...

[Blackcat31]

You're really going to pull the sexism card? In a field that is predominantly women and paid lower wage than fields that are predominantly men? Really, Dave? I'm not going to cow toe to you like everyone else does.

Dave, you're a terrible person. I'm holding back, so this doesn't get deleted.

The real sexism women face isn't funny. You don't have to tell people what you do for a living. You made a choice to do this job. We didn't choose to be born women. You don't know what it's like to be afraid when you go somewhere alone or new.

It must be nice to be in a field that is predominantly the opposite sex and be welcomed so warmly here. Every flaw is sexism. Must be nice...

Um okay.... :confused:

I am reading one thing but hearing another. If you have a particular and/or personal problem with a member here please contact that member directly and privately.

If that isn't an option for you, then please contact Michael or a moderator....myself included to address the issue in a more mature manner.

If there is no issue [other than Dave sharing an opinion that doesn't align with yours] then being rude or snarky towards a member is not necessary nor is it helpful.

In fact, it demonstrates the very issue being discussed and the divide we have in this country already when it comes to gender and sexism.

[Snowmom]

Dave, you're a terrible person. I'm holding back, so this doesn't get deleted.

The real sexism women face isn't funny. You don't have to tell people what you do for a living. You made a choice to do this job. We didn't choose to be born women. You don't know what it's like to be afraid when you go somewhere alone or new.

It must be nice to be in a field that is predominantly the opposite sex and be welcomed so warmly here. Every flaw is sexism. Must be nice...

I'm just going to leave this right here.

Gandhi: "Be the change you want to see in the world"

[Mike]

Just clarifying since so many are commenting about what they did/do as babysitters.

Babysitting and working/volunteering and/or helping within the umbrella of a licensed caregiver are two different things.

OP~ I would discuss this with the licensed provider and just let her know that you would prefer that only those 18 and over (REGARDLESS of gender) perform all basic care routines etc for your children.

I agree.

My sister was babysitting at age 10, and a few times I took her place (age 15) when she had to go out somewhere. I changed diapers then, but the parents met me first and since it was babysitting, it's obvious that whoever the babysitter was would be the one changing diapers, whether it was her or me.

Daycare isn't the same thing. Some people take their kids to daycare, especially daycare centers, and don't worry about who works there or does what. Others take their kids to daycare, especially home-based, and want to meet the people taking care of their child. Often, that's why they chose home daycare. For those parents, having someone they haven't met helping with general duties is one thing, but having someone they haven't met doing something as discrete as diaper changing is a whole new thing.

If you take your child to a home daycare because you want to know who's taking care of your child, having someone you've never met changing diapers, regardless of gender or even age, can bother you.

Talking to the provider is the right thing to do about anything that worries a parent. I hope the family does understand your concerns and all goes well from here on.

I'm with Dave in wishing this young boy the best of luck if he decides to go into this field.

[daycarediva]

dadbod (cracking up at that username, BTW) I hope you stay on! We need more parents here! Also, glad you broached your concerns with your provider and I hope she was receptive. I don't think you came across sexist, just concerned as that was not what you expected when enrolling.

Dave, you're a terrible person. I'm holding back, so this doesn't get deleted.

The real sexism women face isn't funny. You don't have to tell people what you do for a living. You made a choice to do this job. We didn't choose to be born women. You don't know what it's like to be afraid when you go somewhere alone or new.

It must be nice to be in a field that is predominantly the opposite sex and be welcomed so warmly here. Every flaw is sexism. Must be nice...

To be fair, you should log in.....

I am a woman. I've worked in both female dominated fields and male dominated fields. As a young, attractive 20 something, I NEVER experience sexism. In fact, it was the opposite. BECAUSE I was a woman in a male dominated field, I was offered more jobs and more opportunities than my male colleagues.

The difference between the 'wage gap' has more to do with chosen field than it does with gender. Dave is making what other women in his field make, and he IS dealing with people who are still against men in childcare. He regularly uses his good humor to make light of the situation.

I think you need to take a self defense course, carry some pepper spray and stop reading the news. Media tends to hype up the unsafe situations in our country (assuming you are in the US and not living in detroit) you're probably safe to go places alone and should not feel unsafe. Maybe because I don't buy into the hype, but I've NEVER felt unsafe because I was a woman. I used to work nights in a very ghetto/unsafe area. Was shown nothing but respect by the men.

Now, OTHER WOMEN, that's a pandora's box I'm not touching.

[Unregistered]

dadbod (cracking up at that username, BTW) I hope you stay on! We need more parents here! Also, glad you broached your concerns with your provider and I hope she was receptive. I don't think you came across sexist, just concerned as that was not what you expected when enrolling.



To be fair, you should log in.....

I am a woman. I've worked in both female dominated fields and male dominated fields. As a young, attractive 20 something, I NEVER experience sexism. In fact, it was the opposite. BECAUSE I was a woman in a male dominated field, I was offered more jobs and more opportunities than my male colleagues.

The difference between the 'wage gap' has more to do with chosen field than it does with gender. Dave is making what other women in his field make, and he IS dealing with people who are still against men in childcare. He regularly uses his good humor to make light of the situation.

I think you need to take a self defense course, carry some pepper spray and stop reading the news. Media tends to hype up the unsafe situations in our country (assuming you are in the US and not living in detroit) you're probably safe to go places alone and should not feel unsafe. Maybe because I don't buy into the hype, but I've NEVER felt unsafe because I was a woman. I used to work nights in a very ghetto/unsafe area. Was shown nothing but respect by the men.

Now, OTHER WOMEN, that's a pandora's box I'm not touching.

I'm glad you and BlackCat replied. It just reaffirms my opinion. This isn't a place for women or to discuss real issues we face. I will no longer be posting or reading here. Many of you are uneducated and it shows. Oh, you have Associates and CDAs. LOL

Very telling you are telling parents how to feel. I don't care if someone pulls out of care because they don't like the jeans I'm wearing today. I respect parents should be allowed to have opinions and choices. It makes me wonder what does on in your homes. As I said I'm done here.

[Rockgirl]

I will no longer be posting or reading here.

Okay....bye.

[DaveA]

Dadbod- I want to clarify something. I wasn't saying you were sexist. You asked if bias played a factor in your opinion, and I responded to that part. You handled it well- you looked for information and had a conversation with your provider. Apparently pretty tactfully as you are still working with them and their client. So

I will no longer be posting or reading here.

As I said I'm done here.

I'm so going to miss these insightful conversations. I am going to give you a bit of advice- If you're going to go full "F this bridge burn" you can't do it effectively as an unregistered random. You need to log in to do a really thorough final act. At least do a Private Message blast- usually they involve something like wishing me a slow and fiery death, telling me my wife is banging her personal trainer like a drum, or at the very least that I'm a clueless troglodyte and a disgrace to the human race. You got to up your troll game. Facebook daycare groups do it much better.

Bye Bye now. Have fun storming the castle. happyfacehappyfacehappyfacehappyfacehappyface

[Blackcat31]

I'm glad you and BlackCat replied. It just reaffirms my opinion. This isn't a place for women or to discuss real issues we face. I will no longer be posting or reading here. Many of you are uneducated and it shows. Oh, you have Associates and CDAs. LOL

Very telling you are telling parents how to feel. I don't care if someone pulls out of care because they don't like the jeans I'm wearing today. I respect parents should be allowed to have opinions and choices. It makes me wonder what does on in your homes. As I said I'm done here.

[Michael]

I'm glad you and BlackCat replied. It just reaffirms my opinion. This isn't a place for women or to discuss real issues we face. I will no longer be posting or reading here. Many of you are uneducated and it shows. Oh, you have Associates and CDAs. LOL

Very telling you are telling parents how to feel. I don't care if someone pulls out of care because they don't like the jeans I'm wearing today. I respect parents should be allowed to have opinions and choices. It makes me wonder what does on in your homes. As I said I'm done here.

Yes, you are done here.