Misdirected Email

[Blackcat31]

I agree with the short reply stating there really is nothing more to discuss.

I understand if they feel DCB wants to say good bye but why prolong it? Also, if the term letter was typed and ready because DCM had plans to stop by after work and chat, I'm sure DCB was already said good bye to (provider knew in advance she was going to term)...kwim?

I also agree with Josie that I do feel bad for the DCM because she messed up but sometimes the most valuable lessons are the ones that hurt the most.

I totally 100% support Tasha's decision to terminate care. If I felt the respect just wasnt there or was fake to my face I just couldn't "pretend" every morning and every night at drop off and pick up.

I'd wonder if every time I enforced a policy or had to discuss an issue if DCM said nasty things about it behind my back. If she is the type of person to even compose that type of e-mail in the first place I call BS on her show of remorse.....

We might forget the things a person said or the things a person did but we RARELY forget how a person made us feel and that IS something I don't think we have to "get over".
I think its important to forgive and move on but we don't have to forget.
I think that is okay.

[Ariana]

I think this is just a manipulation tactic. I am sure DCB is going to be just fine. Maybe the dad was going to offer to do drop offs and pickups so you didn't have to deal with mom....either way they've been terminated. Time to cut your losses.

I had parents like this once. I terminated and the dad called me and we had a lengthy conversation. Then he wanted to stop by and pick up DCG diapers and wipes which was an obvious attempt to talk more. I got my husband to answer the door and give the diapers and wipes. I was just done talking.

[finsup]

In the morning, I would message back:

"Although I will miss dcb very much and have loved watching him, I feel that the termination of our contract leaves nothing to chat about. Best of luck to you and your family."

Yes, perfect! Take it from someone who allowed additional " chats" when I should have just been done with it

[Tasha]

In the morning, I would message back:

"Although I will miss dcb very much and have loved watching him, I feel that the termination of our contract leaves nothing to chat about. Best of luck to you and your family."

Thank you for this....
I sent almost this exact note about an hour ago, and will let you know if I hear anything back. I really hope it's over because the whole thing has made me very nervous.
I appreciate everybody's advice so much.

[sharlan]

I would respond with a simple, "No, there is nothing more to talk about. Services have been terminated. I gave dcb a hug and told him good bye yesterday."

Then I would stop responding to all forms of communication.

[lovemydaycare0912]

You handled this so well and I hope they leave you alone.

[childcaremom]

You handled this so well and I hope they leave you alone.

:hug: I agree.

[sharlan]

Any more communication from the dad?

[KIDZRMYBIZ]

Agreed.

Me, too. I'm a little horrified at the thought that any of my clients may have seen my gripes on here. In hindsight I realize it was naive to think it was a "safe place" to vent. I just can't imagine spending time in here (outside of the parent/guardian page) if I wasn't a provider, but I guess many would. Yikes.

[KIDZRMYBIZ]

In the morning, I would message back:

"Although I will miss dcb very much and have loved watching him, I feel that the termination of our contract leaves nothing to chat about. Best of luck to you and your family."

[MarinaVanessa]

Spoke too soon.

[MarinaVanessa]

Oh man, what a read.

I haven't been on all week until today and when I started reading this thread I was on pins and needles. I get down to the bottom and saw that there was no end and my hands were literally sweating from anticipation. I felt like the time I was watching GOT and it was the episode where Prince Oberyn fights with the Mountain and our power went out. It was literally killing me that I didn't get to see how it ended. I just begged for an update with absolutely no shame ...

... and then I realized just now that there was a page 2 to the thread.

I can't tell you how many emotions I just went through while reading this thread. So now my anxiety level is way down and back to normal levels so I will say that you OP handed yourself very well in all of this including in the termination of the family. Good for you for knowing whether you could continue your business relationship with them or not and since in this case it was "not" good for you for handling the termination professionally.

Am I the only one that needs a nap from all of this?

[Laurel]

Oh man, what a read.

I haven't been on all week until today and when I started reading this thread I was on pins and needles. I get down to the bottom and saw that there was no end and my hands were literally sweating from anticipation. I felt like the time I was watching GOT and it was the episode where Prince Oberyn fights with the Mountain and our power went out. It was literally killing me that I didn't get to see how it ended. I just begged for an update with absolutely no shame ...

... and then I realized just now that there was a page 2 to the thread.

I can't tell you how many emotions I just went through while reading this thread. So now my anxiety level is way down and back to normal levels so I will say that you OP handed yourself very well in all of this including in the termination of the family. Good for you for knowing whether you could continue your business relationship with them or not and since in this case it was "not" good for you for handling the termination professionally.

Am I the only one that needs a nap from all of this?

::::::

[Tasha]

I'm sorry, didn't mean to just drop off the map ...
A scratch on my daughter's leg turned into a deep infection, and that has consumed me for the last day or so. But now she's doing a lot better, thank goodness.
So back to the topic at hand. Yes, I did hear from DCD again. After I told him I wouldn't be able to meet with him, he wrote me back that he understood but wants me to please reconsider taking them back. He said that his house is basically in an uproar because his son doesn't understand why he can't come back to my house and play with his friends, and that his wife knows that she really screwed up, and feels terrible. And that she's under a lot of stress at work (I know the feeling) and that she really doesn't think I'm a bitch (ha).
It was such a nice note that it made me want to cry. I feel pretty emotional right now because I'm so tired so I definitely won't be responding until I can collect my thoughts. If I do at all. I feel bad because you guys have all be so nice telling me that I've been so professional, and here I am wavering!
I just don't know how it would work to take them back.
MV, I know exactly what you mean. I need a nap too. One that lasts about 12 hours!

[Thriftylady]

I'm sorry, didn't mean to just drop off the map ...
A scratch on my daughter's leg turned into a deep infection, and that has consumed me for the last day or so. But now she's doing a lot better, thank goodness.
So back to the topic at hand. Yes, I did hear from DCD again. After I told him I wouldn't be able to meet with him, he wrote me back that he understood but wants me to please reconsider taking them back. He said that his house is basically in an uproar because his son doesn't understand why he can't come back to my house and play with his friends, and that his wife knows that she really screwed up, and feels terrible. And that she's under a lot of stress at work (I know the feeling) and that she really doesn't think I'm a bitch (ha).
It was such a nice note that it made me want to cry. I feel pretty emotional right now because I'm so tired so I definitely won't be responding until I can collect my thoughts. If I do at all. I feel bad because you guys have all be so nice telling me that I've been so professional, and here I am wavering!
I just don't know how it would work to take them back.
MV, I know exactly what you mean. I need a nap too. One that lasts about 12 hours!

I think DCD is acting as much as a child as DCM did! I think he is using DCB as a pawn, knowing you do care about DCB, and that hopefully that will get you to cave. I wouldn't take them back, period end of story. I would fear a couple of things is why. First off if you do, she may still say those things about you just to other people instead of you. Secondly, if you don't stand behind it, they may think they can do things or break policies in the future and you will cave. I also think they are begging because it can be plain hard to find good care in some places, and it takes time so at this point mom or dad has to keep DCB at home and they are looking for a way out of the problem that she created. This makes me think of BC's saying "not my circus not my monkeys".

IF I took them back, I would have some very solid rules and policies, I would make sure they knew full well I wasn't putting up with ANY crap. That would include late pick ups, early drop offs and any other issues I have had with them. I would have them sign that those things would be an immediate term. I might also have to do a rate increase, because the fact I termed would mean a new contract needed signed.

Yeah, I guess I am kind of harsh. I just have taken to much crap off to many people all my life, and I am over it LOL. The saying "you teach people how to treat you" has been true for me. I have let to many people treat me bad, and kept being what they needed from me. When you do that, they never seem to change their behavior.