Misdirected Email

[Rockgirl]

It would be so awesome if your provider friend told dcm that she was accepting the other family for daycare, because she felt very uncomfortable with the way dcm spoke about her previous provider.

[Thriftylady]

I'm sorry, I just saw this. Do you think this would work? I am definitely going to warn her to shut her mouth (I should, right?), but I need to do it in a professional manner rather than call her up and scream at her, which is what I really want to do. I very much want to call her out on her lies. It's not good to be this angry at the start of the day.

I had to do it once last spring with a parent. I have no idea what she was saying about me, but she was taking all my business cards from the flyer at the grocery store. It stopped her from doing that. I would totally do this. You don't HAVE to take legal action but the threat may help. She will at least know you are on to her and so will her DH.

[KidGrind]

I just got off the phone with a dcp who is also a friend.
Guess who came by for an interview tonight? That's right, the E-mail DCM. And I am beside myself right now. DCM said that she left her previous provider because:
I ''shamed'' her child about not being potty trained, and by not ''working with'' her by making him wear diapers.
I was rough with DCB. She said I yanked a pacifier right out of his mouth and that was the ''final straw.''
She said I "yelled" at her in front of other parents when she was only 2 minutes late, and that it was her first time ever being late.
These are all just big, fat lies and it is taking all the restraint I can muster not to call her. She didn't mention my name to my friend, but DCB mentioned that he was at Miss Tasha's. Guess DCM didn't think providers talk. I am so angry.

I would e-mail the both the mother and husband.

Dear Mr. & Mrs. Get It Together,

It is my wish to move on positively from our previous business relationship. Though it ended due to __________ disrespect and unhappiness with policies, she apologized with tears and regret. I accepted and continue to wish your family especially _________ all the best.

It saddens me after our parting of the ways, ________ continues to slander my good name and business. The provider community is a small one. I am requesting she stop immediately with her claims that I shamed her for _______ not being potty trained. Changing diapers and pull-ups are a part of my business. I have no issues with changing a multitude of diapers and pull-ups daily. I did not shame ________ in anyway shape or form about _________ not being potty trained. The issue was an attempt to bring _______ in underwear without the required two weeks of being accident free. I have many children to care for on my watch.

An example of a the reason the policy is in place: It would be unsanitary for me to be making lunch, Johnny Doe having an accident and then _______ and other children walking, playing and sitting in it. I know ______’s health is a concern of yours. My policies are in place to the children and I as healthy as possible.

It was also stated that I yelled at her for being 2 minutes late. I have never yelled at ________. _________ was picked up late 3 times. I only charged a late fee for the third late pick up. Then I received an insulting e-mail referring to me as a B.O.W.

There were also claims I was rough with ______ and I yanked a pacifier out of his mouth. And that is the reason he was pulled from my care. I was never rough with ______. I did not yank a pacifier from his mouth. I did remove it on XX/XX/XX per my policy. [insert policy here] _________ continued to be in my care until I terminated on XX/XX/XX. I viewed both ______ & ______ as responsible and loving parents. I cannot imagine any responsible parents requesting their child stay in the care of an individual who is rough with their child.

My request is that all the slander and untruths end. I will continue to wish your family the very best. I wish to move on from the situation and hope it doesn’t turn into a legal matter.

Thanks for your time,

Tired of Your SH!T Provider

[MunchkinWrangler]

Wow, DCM is the biggest BOW!!!!

She is surely showing her true colors and waving her flag to anyone who will notice.
I have two sides to this, take the high road because you're the bigger person and she's just a mean, unhappy, spoiled person anyway from what it sounds like.

But I believe in justice as well, maybe threatening legal action will at least let her know, ONCE AGAIN, that she can't get away with badmouthing you. There's a strong part of me that wants her shutdown, she needs to learn a valuable lesson.

At least you know for sure that you made the right decision and saved yourself a lot of distress and more anger in the future. If you would have allowed her back, it would have been just a bad situation.

[ChelseaB]

Wow, I have to say that I'm completely unnerved by what you're going through! However, for me, it comes down to how often you should be expected to take the high road... There's a difference between letting something go once. Maybe even twice. But then, there's allowing someone to walk all over top of you and slander your name. Yes, she may reap what she sows by finding it difficult to find new childcare. Hopefully, other providers will see through her game. But what about the other people she tells? The people they tell because someone may be considering contacting you for care? "Oh, you're going to contact Tasha?! I don't know about that, I've heard awful things about her!" Word of mouth can truly make or break a business. I'd have to send a cease and desist letter. Clearly, she thought she'd only get caught the one time, and this ex DCM thinks she can now finish what she started.

It may be uncomfortable. But I would have to take a stand and at least show that I mean business. Talk like that could truly ruin someone around an area like mine... :/

[Blackcat31]

Wow, I have to say that I'm completely unnerved by what you're going through! However, for me, it comes down to how often you should be expected to take the high road... There's a difference between letting something go once. Maybe even twice. But then, there's allowing someone to walk all over top of you and slander your name. Yes, she may reap what she sows by finding it difficult to find new childcare. Hopefully, other providers will see through her game. But what about the other people she tells? The people they tell because someone may be considering contacting you for care? "Oh, you're going to contact Tasha?! I don't know about that, I've heard awful things about her!" Word of mouth can truly make or break a business. I'd have to send a cease and desist letter. Clearly, she thought she'd only get caught the one time, and this ex DCM thinks she can now finish what she started.

It may be uncomfortable. But I would have to take a stand and at least show that I mean business. Talk like that could truly ruin someone around an area like mine... :/

I disagree. I see it as exactly the opposite.

When a disgruntled client bad mouths me, the people they tell either:

a) believe the story they are told. Which in turn usually has them avoiding me for services..... which is a GOOD thing because birds of a feather usually flock together so they more than likely wouldn't be the type of family I want in care anyways. In my eyes that would be doing me a favor.

OR

b) don't believe her/him for a single minute and are usually the type that would want to find out for themselves. Which IS the type of family I would like to work with.

So again, I see bad mouthing as a form of "advertising".

The negative stuff most disgruntled parents spew is easily seen as just that.....Gossip-y crap that happens when some special snowflake doesn't get their way.

I will always choose to take the high road and hold my head up KNOWING I chose to not participate in that type of stuff.

Other than a cease and desist letter, I stay out of past clients issues.

[DanceMom]

I would 100% put a stop to her. The main reason is her stating you were "rough" with her son. I also, would make sure you let your licensor know what is going on and your side of this - you never know if she will end up filing a complaint against you for what she "says" you have done.

[NoMoreJuice!]

I would absolutely stay out of this. I've been in this position twice in a very small town, and have always refused to sink down to a level of revenge I wouldn't feel comfortable with. The very best revenge is to carry on with your life as if she doesn't exist. Trust me, that will infuriate her worse in the long run.

Forget about this week and think ahead a year or two. Think of how proud you are of your program and that one annoying daycare mom meant literally nothing to you. Shake it off, girl.

[Pepperth]

I would 100% put a stop to her. The main reason is her stating you were "rough" with her son. I also, would make sure you let your licensor know what is going on and your side of this - you never know if she will end up filing a complaint against you for what she "says" you have done.

This is a good point. I certainly doesn't hurt anyway to let your licencor in the loop about this.

[Unregistered]

Can you send a cease and desist letter if the dcm didn't mention you by name to the other daycare provider?

[daycarediva]

I would 100% put a stop to her. The main reason is her stating you were "rough" with her son. I also, would make sure you let your licensor know what is going on and your side of this - you never know if she will end up filing a complaint against you for what she "says" you have done.

Call your registrar and let her know (also document)

I like the above, which I would send certified so you have proof she received it.

ROUGH=ABUSE in almost everyone's eyes, so nope, would not allow her to continue saying those things.

WHAT A BOW!

[Thriftylady]

Can you send a cease and desist letter if the dcm didn't mention you by name to the other daycare provider?

You can send the letter. Hopefully it will bluff her but it will for sure put her on notice that you know what she is up to. Not saying you would have a leg to stand on, but she doesn't know that.

[Snowmom]

I'm a little on the fence on weather it would be a good idea to confront the issue.
While I agree that taking the high road is admirable and speaks volumes about your character, it can be detrimental to your business to ignore it.
In this day and age, we live in a world full of overly paranoid, helicopter parents who thrive off of social media and google.
A parent like this is most likely taking her grievances to anyone who will listen to her sob story of how OP "did her wrong".
I had a parent who was pretty similar. DCM took to the internet to find any online source that had my name and a spot for her to write something.... and she did. I now need to search my name weekly to see if she's wreaking havoc on my business. All because I termed her as gently as I could for disrespect.

So, my point is... be vigilant. Because if she's already out there slandering you, it's probably in more than one form (meaning it's probably not just the potential providers she's interviewing...it's anyone and everywhere she can).

[Tasha]

I would 100% put a stop to her. The main reason is her stating you were "rough" with her son. I also, would make sure you let your licensor know what is going on and your side of this - you never know if she will end up filing a complaint against you for what she "says" you have done.

I always give a heads-up when I have to term, but I think you're right, I need to update the situation, certainly. I would like to take the high road, but I can't sit idly by while she's telling people I was rough with her kid. She just made that up, and I don't know what's wrong with her! I know I need to calm down but I'm still seething. I'm going to write her a letter, I think. I'll post it here before I send it so that you guys can stop me if I'm making a fool of myself.

[Tasha]

But what about the other people she tells? The people they tell because someone may be considering contacting you for care? "Oh, you're going to contact Tasha?! I don't know about that, I've heard awful things about her!" Word of mouth can truly make or break a business.
:/

See, this right here scares me to death.